return with a smile

Shen Yunxuan's hands and feet were tied, he curled up to cover his head, he gritted his teeth and endured the pain, he was only wearing a thin piece of clothes, where the wooden stick fell, he could vaguely see that his body was red from being beaten, and then turned green Zizi, blood oozes in some places, Shen Yunxuan thought that if he continued beating like this, his ribs might be broken.

He shrank back, covered his chest with his arms, and was about to be hit again, when suddenly there was no movement.

He gasped for breath, coughed a few times, his teeth ached from being bitten by himself, looked up at Shen Qing, and called his father in a hoarse voice.

Shen Qing didn't react at all, looked down at the wooden stick in his hand, then raised his eyes to glance at Shen Yunxuan, chuckled lightly, turned around and walked to the wooden stand, and put the wooden stick back.

Shen Yunxuan was just about to breathe a sigh of relief, but saw Shen Qing change to a thick leather whip and weigh it in his hand.

The room is rather gloomy, with no windows and no lights, only the sunlight coming in through the crack of the door, and the furnishings in the room can be seen clearly through the light, except for the wooden shelves by the wall, which are hard to bear. The only thing that shivered was a rosewood chair and an iron frame, and there was an iron platform half a meter high in front of the frame.

Seeing the leather whip in Shen Qing's hand clearly, Shen Yunxuan got up consciously, climbed onto the iron platform with some difficulty, knelt down in front of the iron frame, and hung the rope between his hands on the hook protruding above his head.

The cold touch of the metal made him shiver uncontrollably.

Shen Qing hooked the corner of his mouth, he was very satisfied with Shen Yunxuan's self-consciousness.

Then the whip was raised, and the skin on his chest, arms, and thighs was ripped apart.

A whip was hit on the stomach, Shen Yunxuan let out a short cry, curled up, gritted his teeth and continued to hold on.

Shen Qing seemed to be incomprehensible, one whip was harder than one whip, after beating for a while, he shook his body, a little exhausted, so he threw the whip aside, pulled over the chair and sat down.

Shen Yunxuan was finally able to rest for a while, the clothes were pulled into his flesh and stuck together, it was painful to pull every time he moved, and he couldn't help but let out a small □□ from the pain.

Shen Qing heard this sound in his ears, and his feverish mind finally cleared up a little.

Shen Qing's face turned a little ugly, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, got up and walked towards Shen Yunxuan.

He stretched out his hand to untie the rope that tied Shen Yunxuan, just as he untied his hand, Shen Yunxuan shook, knelt down, carefully buried his face in Shen Qing's chest, and whispered: "Father." Then he closed his mouth.

After the rope on his feet was also untied, just as he was about to get closer to his father, Shen Qing angrily lifted him off the table, knocked his head on the ground, and pulled the wound on his body. Shen Yunxuan curled up in pain, holding back He couldn't help hissing and inhaling, a few crystals overflowed from the corners of his eyes, and he was full of grievances.

Shen Qing didn't even look at it, just opened the door and went out, and slammed the door shut with a "bang".

Shen Yunxuan stared blankly at him going out, bit his lower lip, and was about to get up when the door was opened again, Shen Qing went back and forth, looked at him with his head down, the light shone in from behind, making Shen Yunxuan unable to see him clearly expression.

He slowly got up from the ground, coughed, swayed his body and almost fell again, just about to stand still, Shen Qing finally couldn't help stepping forward, Shen Yunxuan was watching him stepping forward in a daze, bent his knees and hugged himself Get up and stride out of the house.

Shen Yunxuan had just turned fifteen, and his body had already grown, but compared to Shen Qing, he was still much shorter, and he was not very fat, but relatively thin, so Shen Qing easily picked him up.

He was a little uncomfortable under the strong light, closed his eyes and held back his tears, buried his head tightly on Shen Qing's chest, he endured the pain from his body and Shen Qing's rough movements, but his mood rose slightly.

Finally couldn't bear it anymore, and passed out from the pain.

…………

It snowed heavily that year, and it was the first time he saw such a heavy snow, Shen Yunxuan was very excited, holding the window sill with his small hands, and looked into the empty yard.

Thick snow covered the bluestone slabs, and the plum blossoms in the yard were in full bloom. Shen Yunxuan stretched out his small hand to catch the snowflakes, and suddenly a shadow enveloped him, and the window was closed by the person behind him.

"Daddy." Shen Yunxuan called out crisply, no longer holding on to the window sill, turned around and hugged Shen Qing.

Shen Yunxuan is four years old this year, but he is much shorter than ordinary children. Shen Qing bent down and picked him up, supported him and let him sit on his arms: "Aren't you afraid of freezing? The wind is blowing hard these days, Don't go out."

"Oh." Shen Yunxuan responded, and turned his head to look at the closed window, feeling a little bit reluctant.

Shen Qing carried him away from the window, sat in front of the desk, let him sit on his lap, took out the ledger and checked it out.

He didn't tie his hair up, so the hair hung loose and swayed with his body, making Shen Yunxuan tickle and giggling when he scratched.

He looked at the little guy laughing uncontrollably, and pushed his hair back with one hand, while protecting the little guy's stomach with the other to prevent him from sliding down.

Shen Qing lowered his head and continued to look at the account book, the little guy pulled out his hair again and wrapped it around his hand to play with, but he didn't care, he just pulled it out when he was about to bite, and then he pulled it back and wrapped it in his hand.

"Daddy," Shen Yunxuan raised his head, pulled his hair, and told him to lower his head, "When will Brother Su come over to play?"

Shen Qing pulled the hair out of his mouth, then stroked it behind his back, and said lightly: "Miss him?"

"Well, he said that he took me out to play during the Lantern Festival. He said that there are many lanterns on the street, as well as delicious food and performances." The little guy tugged at the hair on the other side.

"It's the Lantern Festival in two days, and he should come by then. Remember to call Butler Lin when you go out to play." Shen Qing wrote the accounts with his pen, and rubbed the little guy's stomach with his left hand.

"Yeah, will Daddy play with me?" The little guy raised his head and said expectantly.

"Want me to go?"

"Father doesn't even accompany me often..." Shen Yunxuan lowered his head and twisted his hair in his hands, depressed.

Shen Qing put down the pen, pinched the little guy's face, lowered his head and bit his soft face, rubbed it with his lips after biting, and said with a light smile: "Okay."

…………

Shen Yunxuan slept for about an afternoon. When he woke up, the sun was about to set. He moved his body and found that he was lying naked under the quilt. All the wounds on his body had been treated, and there was a faint scent of medicine.Turning around, he saw neatly stacked clean clothes beside him, and a white porcelain medicine bottle was placed on top of it.

Having a good dream, he hooked the corners of his mouth, a touch of sweetness lingering in his heart.

Shen Qing has always been very gentle in his memory, but since he was eight years old, his father has become more and more irritable, emotionally unstable, more and more indifferent, and sometimes he is simply another person, until the fuse of the inner rage was ignited, Shen Yunxuan became his venting tool, treating him like a human sandbag.

But I can't hate him, why should I hate him?His father was so kind to him.

Shen Yunxuan changed his clothes, walked to the corridor, passed a corner and saw Shen Qing.

Shen Qing sat by the pavilion, pinched a bright red flower and put it between his lips, ground it with his teeth, staring blankly at the clusters of flowers in front of him in a daze, the petals made him look pale and fragile.

There was a dull pain in Shen Yunxuan's heart, which seemed to hurt more than the injuries on his body, Shen Qing's eyes were empty, and his helplessness made him panic.

He just looked at Shen Qing like this, without moving.

It was only when the sky finally darkened that Shen Qing came back to his senses and threw away the bright red peony. His mouth was filled with the faint bitter taste of the peony flower juice, and his lips were dyed bright red by the flower juice.

He rolled up his sleeves, and in a blink of an eye, he saw Shen Yunxuan standing at the corner, he was not surprised, stood up and walked towards him.

Shen Yunxuan watched him coming, stared at his lips firmly, suppressed the desire in his heart, and when Shen Qing came over, he couldn't help stretching out his hand and tugging at his sleeve.

Shen Qing paused, stopped, and tilted his head to look at him.

Shen Yunxuan whispered, "Father."

"Let go." Shen Qing said expressionlessly, without impatience in his tone.

After hesitating for a moment, Shen Yunxuan lowered his eyes, put his head close to Shen Qing, and stretched out his arms to hug him.

"Daddy." Shen Yunxuan buried his head into Shen Qing's chest, and said in a muffled voice.

Xu Shi hadn't been called by his son like this for a long time, Shen Qing was a little stunned for a moment.Looking down to see Shen Yunxuan's aggrieved look, he finally reached out and patted him on the back.

"Hmm... Daddy, it hurts..." Shen Yunxuan raised his head, looking at Shen Qing with wet eyes.

It took Shen Qing a long time to realize that he was... acting like a baby?

Sighing, he also stretched out his hand to hug Shen Yunxuan into his arms, lowered his head and kissed him lightly on the temples, as a comfort: "Stop making trouble, does it still hurt?"

Shen Yunxuan's hands around Shen Qing's back suddenly tightened, he stumbled and pushed him against the pillar, buried his head firmly in Shen Qing's neck, breathing tremblingly.

"Father..." Shen Yunxuan's voice was choked with sobs, and finally he couldn't help it. The depression and grievance in his heart surged out in an instant, and he sobbed softly.

Why?Why is this person his father!

Shen Qing didn't know why he was crying, he wouldn't understand Shen Yunxuan's entanglement and longing.

After a moment of silence, he reached out and patted Shen Yunxuan's back lightly, coaxing him softly.

She was completely different from the way she looked when she was beating Shen Yunxuan.

At night, Shen Qing had just finished taking a bath, sitting in front of the table and brushing his hair, looking down at the account book that was spread out, originally Shen Qing had already handed over this matter to Shen Yunxuan, but he was worried that he might make mistakes, after all, he was not at ease.

"Father." There was a knock on the door, and a figure outside was reflected on the door. Shen Yunxuan lowered his head, looking a little pitiful.

Shen Qing paused, and let Shen Yunxuan in.

Shen Yunxuan opened the door and entered the room, closed the door and walked behind Shen Qing, took the cloth towel in his hand and helped him wipe his hair.

Shen Qing took advantage of the situation and leaned on the back of the chair, pointed the table with his finger, the flame of the red candle flickered on the table, the two of them just kept silent without saying a word.

After a while, the hair was half dry, Shen Yunxuan reluctantly lowered his hands, and hung the cloth towel aside.Shen Qing picked up the ledger and continued to look at it, Shen Yunxuan hung his head and remained motionless.

"It's getting late, go to bed early." Shen Qing finally spoke, still looking at the account book with concentration.

"I don't want to go back..." Shen Yunxuan hesitated, struggled for a while, and then said, "Sleep with father tonight, okay?"

"How old are you?" Shen Qing raised his eyes and glanced at him, in the dark night, he didn't see Shen Yunxuan's reddish and troubled face clearly.

"Can't you?" Shen Yunxuan pinched the back of the chair, seeing his knuckles turning slightly white, feeling uneasy.

Shen Qing didn't speak, but let Shen Yunxuan go back again, until he got a little sleepy and got up to sleep.He looked at Shen Yunxuan who was still standing there, and said lightly: "This is not an example."

Shen Yunxuan was a little happy, but he didn't dare to show it, he stepped forward and hugged him and didn't let go, Shen Qing just treated him as a child acting like a spoiled child, and didn't think much about it.

At night, the two covered each other with a quilt, and Shen Qing rarely slept soundly. Shen Yunxuan saw that he was fast asleep, and opened the quilt to look at Shen Qing quietly, and couldn't help poking his side face with his fingers. Gathering courage, he lifted the quilt, carefully slipped into Shen Qing's arms, wrapped his arms around his waist, and pressed his face against Shen Qing's chest, as if he had received great satisfaction, he couldn't help but bury it in his neck and sniff. sniffed.

Although Shen Qing is in the spice business, he doesn't use incense very much, but likes to play with flowers and plants. However, he has been in contact with incense all year round, and his body is still contaminated with the smell of spices, and there are some flowers that linger.Shen Yunxuan liked this sweet taste very much, couldn't help muttering: "Daddy..." Then he fell asleep contentedly.

As soon as Shen Yunxuan fell asleep, Shen Qing slowly woke up. He felt a little uncomfortable under the pressure, and when he opened his eyes, he found that his son was wrapping around him tightly like an octopus like when he was a child, and he couldn't laugh or cry.

"Daddy..." Shen Yunxuan rubbed Shen Qing's chest, and the entanglement became tighter.

Shen Qing had no choice but to make do with him, wrapping him in his arms, feeling a little complicated.

He likes Shen Yunxuan very much, this child is smart and sensible, even though he doesn't know whether he is his child or not.However, the existence of Shen Yunxuan has always reminded him of the stupid things that happened back then, which were unforgettable and extremely humiliating.

He also knew that there was another person in him, which was also himself.

Both of them feel sorry for Shen Yunxuan, but the other one is his dark side, the one who can't control himself, irritable, gloomy and vicious, has all the most vicious emotions, he can't help his own atrocities, holding his arms He vented on the child in the middle, but often regretted it afterwards, and now he still feels distressed about this child.

But he himself was also surprised that Shen Yunxuan never hated him, he was always trusting and attached to him, and there was also a layer of emotions that he couldn't understand.

So he will hesitate, he knows that he has no idea of ​​living, he wants to die very much, often shed tears silently at night when he can't sleep, there is no sadness or joy, but his heart hurts.But the existence of Shen Yunxuan kept him from going to death, he was still too young, and he was also afraid that Shen Yunxuan might collapse if he died.

He didn't understand Shen Yunxuan's feelings for him, he didn't know that it was called "love", the "love" between lovers.

Of course they are father and son, Shen Qing would not have thought that his son would have such feelings for him, and he had never felt such feelings.

The injury that year made him not trust and dare not trust anyone.

Back then when the Shen family was framed by a villain, the emperor's imperial edict was copied all over the family, and only Shen Qing escaped. At that time, he had nowhere to go, and he had long thought of committing suicide.

It was only after that woman that Shen Qing knew that there were such shameless and vicious people in the world.

He lowered his head to look at Shen Yunxuan, and smiled with the corners of his mouth pulled. He never thought that the son born by that woman would be so cute.

Hate, how not to hate?

But now who can he hate?The woman died too, so he ended it with his own hands.

And the injustice of the Shen family has been vindicated, even if he wanted to take revenge, he would not be able to kill the old emperor.

Shen Qing closed her eyes and didn't think about it anymore.

There was a wind blowing, the windows creaked, and he gradually fell asleep.

Unconsciously, he hugged the person in his arms tightly.

Like an insecure kid who can't find a home.