lonely

As the train passed by, the wheels and the rails made rumbling noises as they were not very intimately connected, and the sound of the whistle before the long whistle was like the breath of some kind of animal.In the dim, crowded, and turbid compartment, if you observe carefully, you can see the oily shine on the small table between the seats due to long-term use, and the stains of different shades on the soft seats.

I simply ignored these imaginative traces and sat down.Holding the mobile phone in one hand, holding the backpack tightly to the chest with the other, even though there are only two pieces of clothing inside.

The girl on the opposite side was plugging in her earphones, her eyes seemed to be closed.She was fair and tender, with thick eyelashes, and her facial features were not prominent but pleasing.As if sensing my gaze, she raised her eyes to look at me, and after meeting my gaze, she turned her head uncomfortably, frowning slightly, somewhat impressively.

I knew I was being rude, so I hurriedly looked away and landed on my phone.On the unlit screen was the last text message he sent me.

He wrote, don't come.

I turned off the screen and gripped the phone tightly, but almost slipped it out because of the sweat in my palm.I put my phone into my trouser pocket, and rubbed my palms on my jeans to wipe off the sweat. Since it is a seat by the window, I don’t have to worry about the phone being stolen because of the protruding half of the head.

I don't know how long the train has been running, but the air in the car has gradually become unbearable, and the carbon dioxide has heated up the small compartment.

I was drowsy, and I pressed my hot face against the window glass again and again, trying to lower the unbearable temperature. The head that was close to the window could clearly feel the high-frequency vibration of the train when it was running.

The tension and excitement when I first got in the car seemed to dissipate. When I thought of him, I felt cold and hot for a while.

The uncle next to me smoked habitually, which brought me back from my contemplation.Smoke spread in the stagnant compartment, and chemicals with nowhere to go entered people's nose and throat forcefully.My throat, which suffers from bronchitis, was even more unbearable, and I coughed softly.The man seemed to realize it suddenly, quickly pinched his cigarette, and smiled at me apologetically.

I waved my hand at him to indicate that it was okay.But he seemed to have a good impression of me and took the initiative to chat.I was vigilant, leaned in quietly, hugged my bag tightly and listened to him, but he didn't seem to care.

The man is a migrant worker in the city and works outside the city all year round.This time it was because his daughter was admitted to a key local university, so he asked for leave to celebrate her daughter.In a moment of excitement, he took out a photo, which obviously showed his wife and daughter.He rubbed the photo with tender eyes, "We'll see them soon!"

This emotional tone made me a little horrified, I always felt that he was setting up some kind of death flag.According to the routine, our train should have run off the track and collided with other trains, or a series of irreversible accidents such as the installation of bombs by heretics or terrorists. In the end, the people on the train, especially the man next to me, must die. He was in a miserable state, beyond recognition, and died with a grievance.

Then, as for me, Zhao Ling must have been extremely sad when he learned that I was in an accident, or on the way to find him. From then on, with guilt for me, he stood by my grave and died alone.

This is probably the best ending.

But in fact, this is not the case. I, including the people in the entire car, arrived at the destination intact, and there are not many motion sickness.Thinking about it, there is still a bit of secret regret.

Zhao Ling is my childhood playmate, a childhood sweetheart, a brother with a different surname who wears the same crotch and plays until he grows up.

Strange to say, I have very different personalities from him. I'm a coward who can't get bored for a long time. I don't like to socialize with people. My mental age is premature and I don't like to deal with the group of immature men and women in the class.

As for him, he is like the protagonist of a hot-blooded boy manga, with poor grades but handsome appearance, good basketball, and enough loyalty, boys admire him, girls secretly like him, and he is also a troublesome student for the teacher. In this way, he is also popular.

It's really strange that we, who are so different, have become best brothers.

But in fact, we are like-minded and share the same taste. We partnered to bully and punish the teacher’s dog, stole half-raw astringent green pears from the yard of a family in the community, skipped self-study classes and wandered in the game hall, and spent the holidays with nothing to do. playing games in a dark room.

We live in the same community, separated by two buildings.In the same kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school.We have been in the same class since the third grade, we have known each other for 12 years, and I have been with him for most of my life.

After entering junior high school, he became irritable and loves to fight. The rebellious period of youth came early and extended indefinitely. Maybe he was too rebellious, so rebellious that his parents could not bear it. After graduating from junior high school, he was sent to a coastal city to attend high school. .

So far, we have not seen each other for three years.

I stood in the square in front of the station, looking around with panic and anticipation for this strange city, I knew I was stupid, knowing that he had no idea that I would come, but still longed for his appearance, and even saw a similar figure from behind, My heart skipped a beat, and only when I came back to my senses did I feel dazed.

After sitting on the train for a long time, my back hurts and my body and mind are exhausted, but I still want to see him, even though I am dusty and dishonorable now.In this strange city, I only knew him, and I desperately wanted to find him to rely on.

I compared the handwritten addresses and found the house that his parents rented for him. I got this address from my mutual friends. I still have contact with him in the past three years, but he never mentioned it. .

After careful comparison and confirmation, I knocked on the door, but the door was not closed firmly, and it opened with a push.The room was messy, the curtains were half covered and the lighting was dim.There are scattered clothes on the floor, men's, women's...

I was a little flustered, couldn't help but swallowed, held my breath, and heard faint groans coming from the room.My head exploded, this, what is this doing, I can hardly think.

My throat was tight, and after I reacted slowly, I was so ashamed and angry that it was really embarrassing to break someone, so I subconsciously ignored the deep bitterness in my heart.

I ran all the way to this strange city to find him, and this man doesn't know anything, and he's still having sex with a woman...

I felt uncontrollable grievance and anger. I knocked on the door viciously and loudly. The people inside were visibly flustered. There were low roars of men and soft screams of women.

I tousled my hair, trying to look less tired.The door opened, and the visitor looked angry and impatient.

I froze there, speechless for a long time.

... Who the hell is this?

The visitor asked the same question as me, "Who the hell are you?"

I widened my eyes, turned my dull brain for a long time, and finally realized that the middle-aged uncle in front of me couldn't be Zhao Ling.

Isn't this embarrassing, breaking through such a thing.

I shrank back and said sorry, "I'm sorry, brother, I went to the wrong place!" After I finished speaking, I wanted to slap myself. What a lame reason, ghost letter!

The man's face was full of viciousness, "You're looking for death, right? You're looking for the wrong place. Let's see if I don't beat you to death."

After saying that, he stretched out his hand to grab me, I hurriedly backed up, struggled a few times, received a few solid blows on my body, barely blocked a few moves, and ran away in a panic.Fortunately, he didn't come after him.

I sat on a bench in the open-air park outside the community, calming down my frightened and flustered heart, feeling extremely helpless and wronged.

But in just one day, after experiencing great joy and sorrow, I was extremely exhausted.I miss Zhao Ling very much, and I am angry at the same time.

The screen of the phone is still on the dial interface, there are only two letters on it, ZL, I want to give him a special and different name, after thinking about it for a long time, I only type these two letters.

I wanted to call him, but I still didn't have the courage to press the green call button, as if it was some terrible switch. Once I pressed it, the scourge in my heart would break out of its cage uncontrollably.

I was in a daze when my phone rang suddenly. I was so startled that I almost dropped the phone and pressed answer in a hurry, only to find out that it was Zhao Ling. He rarely called me. We communicated only by text messages. Tencent , Wechat these communication tools.

I was still a little flattered.

The other end was silent for a long time, I thought he was waiting for me to speak, and just about to speak, a voice came from the other side: "Xiaoyan."

The screaming made my heart tremble, and my nose became sore all of a sudden. I was so wronged. After going through so many things today, I actually don't feel like crying.But he just called my name softly, and I could be defeated in an instant.

This person, this person is really too dangerous, it can easily affect all my nerves.

"Why didn't you reply to my text message! Are you in a bad mood? What happened!"

Hey, don't you want to keep a sense of mystery before meeting you?

"I'm worried about you, don't do this next time."

Straight to the heart.

I was silent for a long time, and finally said with difficulty: "Zhao Ling, where are you now?"

"What?" He seemed puzzled.

I took a deep breath, trying to scare him out of revenge, "I'm in X city now, you come to pick me up." There was a loud commotion from the other end.I didn't care, hung up after reporting the address of the park, and didn't give him a chance to ask questions.

I tried my best to keep a calm and calm tone, but in fact I was too nervous, and my palms were sweaty.

For the reunion that I haven't seen in three years, I feel a little uneasy and at a loss.

After all, I am in such a mess now!

I sorted out my appearance on the phone.The corner of the mouth was punched, and it was only a little red at first, but now it is a little bruised.I sigh helplessly.In fact, I am not afraid of pain. I have been like this since I was a child. The wound looks scary, but I don't feel much.It's just that thinking that Zhao Ling will be able to see it later will not be able to explain it, and I have a headache.

It was already past seven in the evening when Zhao Ling came, and it was still dark. At that time, I was immersed in the question of why he came so slowly, imagining that he had various accidents, or that he didn’t care at all. I didn’t want to. Come to me and wait, and start to feel sad secretly, thinking of myself as a poor wife whose husband has cheated, unable to extricate herself.

The roar of the locomotive came from far and near, pulling me out of the boundless imagination, and the street lights lit up one after another behind him, an unspeakable thought arose in my heart, and my eyes were red with excitement , this feeling is like seeing my favorite football star come to hug me, it makes my blood boil, and every skin can't help but tremble.

Yet he is my god.

I stared at him like a pervert, watching him put one foot on the ground, watching him stretch his legs, he was wearing tight jeans and a black leather jacket, and he took off his helmet as he walked. The slow motion shows that simple movements seem to have added special effects in my eyes.

I haven't seen him for three years, but he is the same as I expected, but a little different. I watched him walk towards me step by step, walking against the light.

My heart was in turmoil at this time, and the world was turned upside down, but my face was still blank, seeing him walking quickly, I forgot to smile at him in my embarrassment.

He looked at me, his originally stretched brows suddenly furrowed.He ran over directly, stared at the corner of my mouth and asked: "What's wrong with your face?" He seemed to be a little bit entangled. He wanted to take care of my self-esteem, so he paused for a while. He didn't directly ask who hit me, but said, "Who moved?" hand?"

There was a stern tone in his tone, but my heart suddenly sweetened.

This abrupt start has avoided the silence and unfamiliarity that they haven't seen in three years.It also avoided another question that made me even more unanswerable-how did you come and why did you come here.

I listened to his magnetic voice baptized by the voice change period, and shook my head, "Nothing!"

I'm actually a little embarrassed. Although I was so aggrieved by that incident, it was a misunderstanding, or an unspeakable misunderstanding.

How can I let him know.

Seeing me like this, he considerately didn't question me.