PS. 1437

thirteen

The days of "living together" with the teacher felt very fresh at first, and I could see her in my line of sight anytime, anywhere, which made me feel very safe.

But I found that sometimes, I feel a little uncomfortable and stressed when there is a second person in a space.

Especially her worry and concern when I don't speak.

"Dear, I think we need to talk, seriously. (Baby, we need to talk.)" One day when I was sitting alone on the sofa to relax, she came up to me and sat down.

"What are you going to say?" I looked at her and asked, suddenly feeling very tired, psychologically.

"Are you, don't you like living with me?" She asked, holding my hand.

"No..." I shook my head.

"What's that? I can tell you're not happy...or should I say, uncomfortable." She stroked my cheek.

"I... I'm just not used to the feeling of being accompanied anytime, anywhere." I leaned on her shoulder.

"Sometimes, even if I'm by your side, even when I'm holding you, I can feel your intense loneliness. Why don't you let me get close?" She looked at my eyes seriously, which made me dodge subconsciously .

I lowered my head, not knowing how to respond.

"Why, after I approached you, you built a wall around yourself... It's like, you pulled me into your world, and then left me, back to your own locked castle, I can only watch from the outside, always looking at the distant sky, I don’t know what you are thinking. Baby, this is not good for me.” Her voice contained some complaints, but it was calm of.

"I'm sorry... Actually, I'm not good at getting along with people." I said with my head down.

She didn't answer, and I knew she was waiting for me to continue.

"I'm so bad, when you are far away from me, I desperately want to get close to you; but when I really get close to you, I will subconsciously resist involuntarily, sorry..." I dare not look up at her.

"Actually, you are very insecure. Right?" She gently cupped my face, looked at me and said.

I feel water in my eyes.

"Hey, don't cry." She let me bury my head in her arms.

"I don't dislike you, I like you so much, I love you so much, but I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm so afraid that one day, when you really know me, you will find that I am not what you think..." I choked up and said.

"Fool, why worry about this? Everyone has a different face. If you look at it from different angles and different roles, you will see it differently. Don't you see me?" She gently wiped my face with her fingers on the tears.

"I don't think anyone can accept all of me," I concluded.

"Then do you think you can accept all of me?" She looked at me with a meaningful smile.

"I don't know." I froze for a moment, I never thought about this question.

"Honestly, I don't know either. But I will work hard, no one is perfect, and I will be afraid that you will not be able to accept some parts of me, but I still choose to approach you bravely. If people have never been in love If you are hurt, then you have never really seen the whole picture of love." After she finished speaking softly, she kissed me lightly on the lips.

"... I see, thank you." I thought for a while and nodded.

"Baby, to be honest, we don't have much time to spend together. I don't know how long it will take you to come back after going abroad. I'm not sure if I can visit you during the winter and summer vacations... At that time, you will be alone again. Isn't it?" When she said this, I could read a little loneliness from her eyes.

"Then I don't want to go abroad." I lay down directly on her lap.

"No, you can't play tricks on this matter." She looked at me seriously.

"But people don't want to leave you." I looked at her and said.

"Hey, you have to go out and fly around and see how big the world is. When you are really tired from flying and want to stop, then you will be truly willing to be stable and have a real sense of security." She said He said it as if it was his own mood.

The vague, indecipherable look came back to her face.

"What were you thinking when you said that?" I got up from her lap and looked at her and asked.

"What do you mean?" She suddenly recovered and looked at me.

"You had that look on your face the first time you told me about your past on the embankment," I said.

"It's nothing, just remembering the past, you will understand in the future, after all, I lived 16 years longer than you, and many things can happen in 16 years." She messed up my hair again.

"Oh, okay." I can only nod.

From then on until I went abroad, I was not unhappy for a single day.

The days of busy preparing to go abroad are really tiring. Perhaps in comparison, the exam is still the easiest.Just memorize the words and grammar with your head covered, and find a way to familiarize yourself with all the topics.

What is really annoying is choosing a school, writing an autobiography, looking for recommendation letters, and preparing materials that each school requires differently.Several times, I just threw the materials on the table, lying on the sofa and pretending not to do it.

But she always coaxed me patiently.

In fact, these are not the things that bother me the most.

What annoys me the most is the primary school girl who calls the teacher to make appointments with the teacher from time to time with the TOEFL reference book.

One day when I was reading the documents to be prepared in the research room, the phone in the research room suddenly rang.

I watched her pick up the phone.

"Hello? Yes, I'm in the office, but I'm very busy now. I have time for you at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Okay, goodbye."

I raised my eyebrows and watched her hang up the phone.

"My baby is jealous again." She came to sit next to me and looked at me with a smile.

"Why does she keep looking for you?" I complained dissatisfied.

"Well, she's just a student." She hugged me and said.

"Oh, okay, I'm going to the bathroom." I walked out of the research room to the bathroom.

When I came back, I saw the junior girl appearing in the research room uninvited.

"Teacher, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting." I walked among them unceremoniously.

"Look, senior is back. Now is her time." The teacher said to her with a smile.

"Please, I only need 5 minutes." She looked at me and said to the teacher.

"Well... I have to catch the car later, maybe there is no way." I sincerely made up a reason and wanted to send her away.

"Oh... well, then I have to come back tomorrow." She was sent to the door by the teacher with disappointment.

I turned my back to her, a triumphant smile on my face.

"But I'm very happy to see the teacher! I... like the teacher the most." When she walked to the door, she suddenly turned around and said this.And gave the teacher a big hug.

The smile on my face disappeared instantly.

"Little devil, let's go, see you tomorrow." The teacher took her hands away from her body.

Then, the moment the door was closed, they locked the door together and turned off the fluorescent lamp in the research room.

"So angry." She came back, put her hands on my shoulders, and said with a smile.

"I... like the teacher the most." I said deliberately imitating the tone of the school girl.

"I know you like me the most, and I like you the most," she said, and kissed me.

Not to be outdone, I kissed her back. During the three months we were together, my skills have also improved significantly under her training.

We fell down on the sofa, I picked up her one-piece dress, she straddled my lap, and let me bite her neck lightly.

"Are you claiming sovereignty?" she asked me with a chuckle.

I didn't answer, just kept doing what I wanted to do.

After a while, I left her neck and looked at the pink hickey with satisfaction.

"Okay." I smiled smugly.

"Is that good? So easy to satisfy?" I heard her kick off her high heels.

Her hands began to draw circles restlessly on my chest.

"You, don't tell me...this is the laboratory..." I looked at her in shock.

I never thought about this situation before.

"Don't you think it's very exciting? You have to hold back and don't make a sound..." After she finished speaking, she quickly put her earlobe in her mouth.

I forcefully swallowed back the scream that almost came out of my mouth.

Then I heard her triumphant laugh.

"Damn it!" I cursed in a low voice.

In the next second, all the words she wanted to say entered her mouth.

I reached out and unzipped her back, and her dress slid down.

Her snow-white breasts in black underwear appeared in front of my eyes, and her breathing was irresistible.

"I really can't imagine that you are almost 40 years old." I leaned on the sofa and looked at her beautiful figure.

"Lie down." She ordered me like a queen.

I obeyed obediently and lay down on the sofa, she lay on top of me, and I quickly took off her dress and black underwear.

"Tell me, what are you thinking." She said in a seductive voice, her index finger brushed my lips, and then slowly unbuttoned my shirt.

"Want to kiss you," I said.

"And what else?" she continued.

"I want to possess you." I pulled her down and kissed her lips.

Hands began to explore restlessly.

"You're wet." I teased her with my fingers through the panties.

"Then give it to me." She twisted her body on top of me.

"No, you have to be punished. (No, I want to punish you.)" I said while gently pinching the sensitive spot between her legs.

"Why?" she exclaimed, looking at me in disbelief.

"Because you let her hug you." While I was saying this, my fingers still kept turning between her legs.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen in the future..." She bit my neck coquettishly.

"From now on, only I can hold you." I pulled down her already soaked panties, slightly inserted the first knuckle of my middle finger, and felt the contraction of her vagina retreat.

"Okay... I'll just hug you from now on..." She said in a compromising tone, looking at me with a pleading expression.

"You're the best." I said with a smile, my fingers inside her.

The moment she was about to yell, she remembered that we were still in the research room, and the yell that was about to come out turned into a grunt biting her lip.

I was under her, watching her bit her lip, trying not to cry out, while enjoying the expression in the rhythm of my fingers, she was really sexy.

"YouarethehottestwomanI'veeverseen. (You are the sexiest woman in the world.)" I whispered in her ear.

"It's only for you. (I'm only sexy for you.)" she finished, and kissed me, our tongues entangled.

My fingers stimulate her with her favorite rhythm. I have caught her love rhythm many times during this period of time, and I am happy to satisfy her desire.

At that moment, she bit my shoulder, and the intense pleasure seemed to make her want to cry out uncontrollably.

Then she lay on top of me panting.

"Tsk tsk, look at you, horny." My fingers were still inside her, and she didn't like me coming out too soon.

"I've always wanted to fuck you in the lab." Her voice was especially sexy after orgasm.

"I'm really starting to believe that you're a slut." I smiled, and I liked her honesty about her desire.

"Yes, and I not only like to be possessed by you, but I also like to possess you." After she finished speaking, she fixed my hands on my head with her hands, and nibbled on my firm nipples through the underwear.

I gasped for breath, but didn't dare to make a sound.

"Let me take them off." She pointed to my shirt and underwear.

I obediently arched my body and watched her remove the fabric from my upper body.

She smiled at me, a smile of burning desire.

I closed my eyes, waiting for her lips to fall on mine, and squeezed my two sensitive nipples lightly and hard with both hands.

"You know what? I love to see you jealous, you are so cute." She said, biting my earlobe.

I rubbed gently.

"Don't be too loud, don't forget where we are." She reminded me, and then kissed all the way from the neck to the stomach.

Then the tongue slid back to the chest, tapped lightly, caught the point, and began to suck.

"Suck me hard." I hunched over to meet her, I loved the way she sucked me.

She did as she unbuttoned the top of my jeans, zipped them down, and slid them down to her knees, her fingers digging into the thick jungle.

"Honey, you're wet." She said as she bit my nipple.

"You're so sexy, how can I not be wet." I want more.

"Is there any way you can keep it from screaming? When I give it to you." She squeezed my clit lightly.

"I... can..." She has already touched my body and knows how to tease me.

"Then try it." She said, and her fingers entered me without stopping, and started to mess around.

The speed of her movements startled me, she had never been so coherent that I didn't have a chance to catch my breath.

I bit my lower lip to keep myself from screaming, and my body moved with her fingers.

"The way you are patient makes me want to go faster..." She said maliciously, and the speed of her fingers became faster.

"Ah!" I accidentally let out a scream, and then grabbed the sofa with all my strength, hoping to restrain myself from screaming.

I was hit hard by her and quickly pushed to orgasm.

Instead, I slumped under her feebly, gasping for breath.

"Is it exciting?" She withdrew from my body.

"It's so hard, let's do it at home in the future." I said the conclusion.

"But it's exciting, right?" She wiped the love juice off her hands with a wet tissue.

"Yes..." I nodded.

"Then let's switch to the car next time." She said suddenly.

"Are you serious?" I stared at her with wide eyes.

"Let'ssee." She kissed me with a malicious smile.

"Remember to tell me what my junior sister saw and said tomorrow." When we got dressed, I pointed to the hickey on her neck and said.

"Yes, yes." She put her high heels back on, messing with my hair.

The next day, I didn't go to school with her, and I woke up naturally after sleeping at home.

Turning the TV on boringly, my cell phone rang suddenly at 02:30, it was her.

"Strange, isn't the school girl going to find her?" I muttered to myself, but I still picked it up.

The conversation between her and her junior came to my ears.

"What? You said this?" It was her voice.

"That's right, shouldn't it be a hickey?" The school girl should be pointing at her neck.

"Can't you see? Kid, are you so innocent?" I really want to see her expression now.

"So... so the teacher has a boyfriend?" Her tone was filled with disappointment and surprise.

"What do you think?" she asked deliberately.

"Hey...my heart is broken..." Hearing this, the corners of my mouth raised unconsciously.

"What's so heartbreaking? Kid, I'm so far behind you! Even if I don't reject girls, I can't be with you." She said with a chuckle.

"Height is not distance, age is not a problem." Is the school girl not giving up?

"Oh, but I feel like I belong now," she said bluntly, which made me happy.

"Oh, it really makes me so sad..." The junior girl's voice was full of disappointment.

"Don't be sad, have you finished asking all the questions? I have something to do and I have to leave first." She asked her junior.

"Oh, okay, don't bother the teacher." I heard the sound of the junior girl collecting the book, and after a while, the door was closed.

"Excuse me, are you satisfied?" The teacher picked up the phone and said.

"Not bad." My voice was clearly satisfied.

"Okay, I'm going to a meeting. Have you changed your study plan? I'll check it when I get back." She asked me.

"I'll fix it before you go home, hurry to the meeting, and then hurry home." I urged her.

"Okay, that's it for now, break up." She hung up the phone.

Not long after, I resignedly picked up the reading plan and began to revise it according to her guidance.

Going abroad is really not something that people do.

As long as I think that I will be separated from her, and we will be separated for several years, I feel flustered, it is a sense of uncertainty full of fear.

When this matter came up, I couldn't control it, and it turned gray again.

I finished changing my study plan listlessly, walked to the bed, sat on the bed and watched the cars going up and down the [-]th floor, and let it go.

He didn't even notice the door opening when she came back.

"What's wrong? What are you thinking?" Her sudden hug startled me.

"You're back." I turned my head and kissed her lips.

I am terrified of my future without her.

"What's the matter? You are so gray." She sat down beside me.

I didn't answer, just hugged her tightly.

"Baby, tell me what's on your mind." She also hugged me and said.

"I'm thinking how much courage and strength I need to leave you without crying." I buried my head on her chest and said.

"Why do you think this all of a sudden?" she said, stroking my back.

"I'm scared of living alone without you," I said.

"I know, but this is what you have to go through." She kissed my forehead.

My arm was around her neck, and we hugged quietly like this.

"Separation is a necessary path in life. Only after separation can there be the joy of reunion. Only when the separation is painful, will you understand the preciousness of meeting again. Only when the separation is extremely painful, will you truly understand a person's life After understanding, you can understand what is wandering and what is stability." After a period of silence, she said slowly.

"Do I have to go through this?" I looked at her and asked.

"Well. I can give you dependence and stability. But these must be chosen by yourself. You will be so afraid of the days without me, and even want to escape, because you hope to skip those things that are necessary for growth. The pain of experience, directly own the final fruit. But this is wrong. Because you have not really wandered, wandering, so you can not understand the true meaning of dependence and stability. Only then will there be the previous "I am close but you want to escape" To be cruel, you did not choose to rely on me voluntarily, but because you like me and I like you, so we are together, and after we are together, you rely on me as a matter of course. After separation, it’s different to still choose to be dependent. Do you understand what I’m talking about?” She said a lot, and then looked at me fixedly.

"Maybe...then, do you rely on me?" I asked back.

"I depend on you. But unlike your dependence, my dependence on you is a purely emotional dependence. It's like a belief-like dependence. We are very different in age, so I won't depend on me like you Show my dependence on you. My dependence on you is that I keep you in my heart all the time. Whenever I think of you, I will smile and feel relaxed. I know very well that such dependence makes me feel at ease and has a kind of stability. .It’s not what you did, it’s all because you are in my heart, so I am dependent and stable. Even if you really go abroad, I am still dependent and stable. Do you understand?” Her answer was another long paragraph.

"I don't fully understand..." I said honestly.

"It's okay, you'll understand after you experience it." Her hand covered my cheek.

I dawdled lightly, then lay on her lap, thinking about what she had said.

I admit that my dependence on her is not as stable as she is on me, so I feel uneasy, as if I will lose it if I can't meet; I also admit that I really don't fully understand how stable someone is That's why the feeling of wanting to be alone appears from time to time.

I'm not sure whether I can really survive when I really have no choice but to be alone.

I once again saw the gap between us clearly. Although I tried very hard to catch up with her, but really, 16 years of experience is not so simple to understand.

"Thank you for loving me." After a long silence, I said.

"You're welcome, and thank you for loving me." She bent down and kissed my cheek.

There is a 16-year age gap between us. Before, I always thought that I got her through my hard work and shame; now I realize that it was her willfulness that stopped, turned around, stretched out her hand, and was willing to hold me.

I am very happy, really.

I am like this, enjoying the happiness she gave me while preparing to go abroad.

Prepare all the things, and in November, I will send the prepared things to each school one by one.

In a blink of an eye, we have known each other for a year.

After graduating and waiting for the application results to come out, I had nothing to do. Apart from staying at her house to help her look after the house and clean the house, occasionally I would sneak to school. He can always meet my eyes without any trace.

Then, I would take out the original textbooks that I hadn't read carefully before and read them again. I didn't expect that the United States would be messed up after being electrocuted.

I think I am really happy, after all few people can wait to go abroad leisurely like me.

Every day I have dinner with my teacher, and when Xiaojie is free, we also eat together. This is probably the so-called ordinary happiness.