[Undecided Event Book] There is a tiger in my heart, and I sniff the roses

It is not a delicious dish, but it is very happy to eat.

It was completely dark, and gradually, there were only the sounds of washing dishes and cleaning in the kitchen, accompanied by occasional conversations without a word. It was a long-lost, a feeling called home.

Before the past eight years, we lived together, ate together, played together, did housework, played games and did homework together.

On his body, there are all the shadows that overlap with my childhood memories.

I have forgotten all my worries, blames, anger, anxiety and some unnamed emotions towards him during the eight years since he disappeared.

But at this moment, everything has turned into something called habit and peace of mind.

I am used to him being by my side, used to his company, and used to his bright smile that is somewhat proud, complacent and bright when he shows his two small canine teeth.

Like air, like breathing.

Can't imagine losing him.

Xia Yan: (while mopping the floor and humming)

Like, the other half of the soul.

……

Twenty-five candles were lit, and after all the lights in the house were turned off, Xia Yan, wearing a small crown, came to the cake in the dark.

I clapped my hands and sang birthday wishes: happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...

The candlelight shone into his coral eyes, which were very beautiful.

Xia Yan: ...

Me: make a wish.

Xia Yan: What wish do you want?

I froze for a moment: This is your birthday, and it is the wish in your heart.

Xia Yan: My wish has been fulfilled long ago, so let me give you this rare opportunity.

Me: Achieved?

Xia Yan: Yes.

What am I?

Xia Yan: Hmm...it won't work if you say it.

I:……

Me: Hurry up and make a wish, don’t you have any expectations for the future?

The candle on the cake was startled suddenly by the wind, as if stung by something suddenly, Xia Yan lowered his head with a sad expression, I noticed that something was wrong with his expression, hesitated for a while, then stood up and squeezed him into the On the other side, Xia Yan was taken aback for a moment, but he didn't walk away, he just stretched out his hand to help me, and let me squeeze in front of him.

Xia Yan: Hey, slow down——

Me: You are right.

Me: You didn’t give me a birthday cake for my last birthday, so this birthday cake is mine. I’m here to make a wish, and you have to help me make it.

Xia Yan looked at me, his coral eyes were a little dazed.

Candles flicker faintly in the dark.

I folded my hands and looked at the half-burned candles, and met his coral eyes. In fact, I did have a wish during the eight years when he disappeared.

I once made a wish on my 20th birthday, that Xia Yan would come back soon.

The last wish is that Xia Yan can be safe and sound.

now--

Me: I hope I can always be by Xia Yan's side.

Yes.

It is no longer you who accompany me, no longer I wait for you, no longer you take care of me, but I am by your side, I accompany you, I walk by your side, stand by your side .

The rest of the days are still very, very long...

call--

The candle was blown out just because no one turned on the light. For a while, the whole room was plunged into darkness. Just when I got up to turn off the light, I was suddenly grabbed by a hand and fell straight into the room. into a warm and strong arm.

Me: Xia Yan...

Xia Yan: Do you really want me to be by your side all the time?

Me: Yes.

Xia Yan: After so many years, don't you think I'm too bored sometimes?I'm always clumsy sometimes, and I often make you angry. Don't you hate me?

I laughed: how could it be.

I reached out and hugged him softly: Xia Yan is my most important family member.

Xia Yan: ...

Xia Yan didn't speak any more, but the arms holding me shrank slightly, and the cuff was a little tight, and I could vaguely hear his breathing, which was warm in my ears, but I didn't know why there was a slight trembling.

He seemed to want to say something, but after a long, long time, he just twitched his lips and swallowed the words that came to his lips.

Xia Yan's hoop was so tight that I felt a little out of breath, so I reached out and patted his shoulder tentatively: Xia Yan...

Xia Yan: I thought about coming back to see you very early on.

Me: have you been back?

Xia Yan: Waiting at the airport in Weiming City, but, I can't... Sorry, I can't be so selfish, and I can't be so greedy.

Me: Why do you say that?

Xia Yan didn't answer, just hugged me silently.

Xia Yan: I just hope you are well and always happy and happy, nothing else matters.

I:……

I let him hold me, and I couldn't help being stunned after hearing this sentence, the arms holding me were no longer as thin as when I was a child, they were powerful, and I could even feel the bursting of muscles and bones.

But it is as warm as when I was a child, with a bit of stubbornness and firmness.

After staring blankly like this for a while, I reached out and patted his back lightly.

Me: But, in my happiness and joy, including Xia Yan is also happy and happy.

Xia Yan was taken aback for a moment.

In the darkness, the coral-colored eyes, which had always been calm like a pool of lakes, seemed to be shaken, and a gap appeared. Under the bright moonlight, the broken calm seemed like a sudden storm. , shattered all the previous calmness and composure in full of astonishment.

Me: Hey, you are back now, but you can't be like eight years ago when you suddenly lost all news.

After recovering from a long period of astonishment, Xia Yan lowered his head and said softly: I will always be with you, by your side.

Me: Let’s put it this way, you are not allowed to play tricks!

Xia Yan: No, I will always be by your side.

I will always be by your side.

Be it yesterday, today or tomorrow.

Whether in the shape of a flower or a drop of raindrops falling from the sky.

Is it the sun or the sunset.

A gull flying in the sky or a hound sleeping in a cage.

Be your nameless neighbor.

Be an elder who can take care of you.

Be an unknown stranger around you who has helped you.

Pass you by.

Go forward with you.

No matter in what way, in what capacity, in what form.

I will always be by your side, by your side.

even if...

is to the end of my life.

I will always, always.

Always, by your side with you.

forever.

Xia Yan: (I used to always think this way, as long as you can always be happy and safe, nothing else matters, and nothing else matters. So I can't help but keep blaming myself. The person who has no future yet reappears in your life so irresponsibly, always greedily wanting to have your smile and embrace.)

Xia Yan: (But...)

[Girl: But, in my happiness and happiness, including Xia Yan is also happy and happy. ]

Xia Yan: (Maybe I was wrong from the beginning.)

The moment the light was turned on was a bit dazzling, Xia Yan and I cut the cake on the table together, watching Xia Yan dug the cream I didn't eat into his own bowl as usual, and then dug out the fruit and put it in my bowl.

Me: (I don’t know why, seeing him so skillful and natural, I suddenly feel a little guilty...)

It can be regarded as a solemn celebration of the reunion after a long absence after eight years. I took out a bottle of red wine from home, took out two goblets and poured two glasses.

Xia Yan looked at the beautiful rose red wine and suddenly smiled: Do you still remember that it was the same way when you drank for the first time.

me?

Xia Yan: Hmm... that year I came back from the capital juvenile class mathematics gold medal. You were happier than me when you heard the news, so you secretly took out the wine in the wine cabinet without telling your uncles and aunts.

Thinking of that incident, I couldn't help but get a black line: Xia Yan, are you going to expose my dark history again.

Xia Yan smiled and said: No, I just thought that someone was not as high as the shelf at that time, and couldn't hook the cabinet on it. He thought of a way to climb up and almost...

Me: ah ah ah, you say it again!Say it again!

Me: Didn’t you say you can’t mention black history anymore!

Xia Yan: Haha...hahahaha...

Looking at the beautiful plate of cake, I endured it, endured it again, and finally resisted putting that side of cream on his face—forget it, what the hell!

When I directly put the cream on the plate, Xia Yan didn't hide, he was still half lying on the sofa, but he held my wrist naturally, and supported my waist with the other hand.

Xia Yan's face was a little reddish, and his eyes wandered unnaturally: He said it was for my birthday, so do I have any birthday presents?

I:……

I don't!

Xia Yan felt aggrieved: ... No?

I snorted: I promised eight gifts for my birthday and you haven't given me any of them. Now you still want to ask me for a gift?

Xia Yan: I...

As if he was hurt, Xia Yan lowered his head, his eyes were slightly covered by his disheveled hair, and he couldn't see his expression clearly for a while.

I am coming again……)

Me: (Do you think I will soften my heart! Hmph!)

Xia Yan: ...

I:……

never mind.I sighed helplessly in my heart, then gave him the cake in my hand and left the sofa, ran to the room with a "dengdengdengdeng" and took out a wrapped gift, and at the "dengdengdengdeng" Xiao ran over and handed him the gift.

Me: The birthday person is the biggest, so I don’t care about it with you.

Xia Yan was stunned for a moment, and took the tightly wrapped gift, as if he still couldn't believe it, as if it was hot, he didn't know how to take it.

Xia Yan: ...Give it to me?

My eyes couldn't help looking to the other side: Yes.

Xia Yan: Do I really have a gift?

I:……

Me: (I reflect on myself, do I really bully him too much sometimes.)

The fuss is the fuss, but the helplessness in Xia Yan's expression can't deceive anyone, as if he didn't expect that a joke would actually bring him a gift, for a moment he looked like a little boy holding a pine cone in a daze. Like a squirrel.

Xia Yan held the gift blankly: Is this for me?

Me: Didn’t I give you a birthday present every time you celebrated your birthday?

Xia Yan: ... This is, you did it?

Me: Well, today is your birthday.

Xia Yan: ...Thank you.

Me: Take it apart and see if you like it.

Xia Yan: I like it.

Me: ... You should take it apart first, have a look and talk, aren't you afraid that I'll get into the scary clown banana bomb?

Xia Yan smiled: Good!

At this time, the sky was completely dark, and countless lamps were lit up, brightly.And those countless lights were all filled in his coral-colored eyes, glistening like a beautiful gemstone, especially when he smiled, it was shining brighter than the stars in the sky .

Xia Yan unwrapped the gift layer by layer, looking forward to it, but he hesitated when he reached the last layer.

Me: Quickly dismantle it.

Xia Yan: ...Okay.

After hesitating for a while, Xia Yan finished unpacking the gift and opened the box containing the gift. The big box was divided into eight parts, each with a different year marked in the gap.

Xia Yan: This is...

Me: Actually, I don’t know what to give you. Basically, I gave you everything I can think of when I was a child. What’s more, what kind of treasure have you never seen before?It’s just that during the eight years of separation, you always feel ashamed that you are not by my side. I think, I might as well give you the memories of these eight years as a gift, so that you will not always feel guilty and blame yourself ?

16 years of company.

Eight years of blankness, eight years of regret, and eight years of misses.

Maybe it's like a gap, but it's just a gap, a gap that can be repaired and filled, and after filling this venting hole, we are still the most familiar and tacit people.

It was late at night, and Xia Yan and I sat on the sofa and flipped through the pocketbook and photo album together.

Xia Yan: What is this?

me?This, it was when the university campus celebration was held, and the troupe lost one person, so I took over.

Xia Yan: Is this playing a princess?

Me: ...This is playing a witch.

Xia Yan: Puchi.

I:……

Xia Yan: Hey, you also participated in the marathon?I won No.3, which is amazing.

Me: It’s not that a certain great detective whispered in my ears since I was a child that I should exercise every day to strengthen my body. Although there were a lot of courses in college, I persisted every day.

Xia Yan: That's pretty good.

Me: But running a full marathon now may be a bit...

Xia Yan: It's okay, next time you want to run, you can call me, let's go together.

Xia Yan: This...

Me: Ah, that... I had appendicitis for a while, and it hurt for a day. I wrote down the receipt and illness in order to write down a balanced diet and not to eat randomly. Don’t look at this.

Xia Yan: Let me take a look.

Me: Don't look!Look at the others!

Xia Yan: ...

The night fell silent, the whole city had fallen into a deep sleep, and even the neon lights on the street became quiet.

Looking at the girl who fell asleep on his shoulder at some time, Xia Yan put down the notebook in his hand, got up and hugged her, the girl in his arms was too soft, sometimes, let him hug her It felt a little unreal when he lived there, and he was used to wanting to hug him tightly with all his strength.

The moonlight fell down like a veil, only the yellow Marguerite on the window sill opened quietly.

The girl in his arms had already fallen asleep soundly.

Xia Yan slowed down his movements, carefully lifted the quilt on the bed, put the sleeping girl in his arms on the bed, then covered the quilt carefully, but sat on the edge of the bed and watched quietly The girl's sleeping face.

Xia Yan stretched out his hand and stroked the girl's hair lightly. At the end, his fingers stayed on her lips. He sat and looked at her for a long time. He closed his eyes slightly and gently pressed his forehead against the girl's forehead. .

Maybe a kiss.

Or, count it as a kiss.

The wind picked up, and the moonlight shrouded the two of them like a curtain of tulle. It was some drunken rose flowers, and it infiltrated into his breathing lightly and shallowly, as if in that For a moment, he also became a little drunk.

Girl: Hmm...Xia Yan...

Xia Yan: I am here.

In the distance, those 25 years of endless longing and countless times of quietly hidden thoughts, under this peaceful and beautiful moonlight, finally turned into a touch that is not even a kiss, just a hug , Pious like a most loyal knight.

It is also like a tiger lowering its head and sniffing the roses carefully.

Xia Yan: Thank you for your gift, this is what I received and wanted the most.

Xia Yan: I will always be by your side.

In the moonlight, only the pot of yellow Margarita on the window sill listened quietly as if it was covered with dew, listening to the 25-year love of that young man, only hidden in the wind, under the moonlight A nameless stamen blooms quietly.

Xia Yan: Because... I really, really, really, really like you...

Those futures that he no longer expected, just because of her smile made him chase again and try his best.