[Comprehensive] Goat Song

Sawada Tsunayoshi had envisioned several possible scenarios. He had thought that the girl might be angry, confused or even scared.But no matter what, he never thought that Aiya Nakahara would show such an expression, as if she was about to cry.

The girl stood there, looking up at the brown-haired boy persistently as if she couldn't feel the pain in her hand.

Hayato, who usually fights with Aiya Nakahara, has found the medical box from the side of the TV cabinet.He and Takeshi Yamamoto, each with one hand, squatted next to the girl to clean up the girl's injured hand, apply some medicine and tie a bandage.Sawada Tsunayoshi noticed that after the blood on the girl's hands was wiped clean, the lines of the scars looked like the tracks of cracked dead wood.But fortunately, the wound was not deep, and the bleeding stopped after a while.

"that…"

"Have you successfully completed the task that Mr. Ribun gave me?" Nakahara Aiya, who was always polite, interrupted Tsunayoshi Sawada with a little eagerness, and then realized that she had done something wrong.So she lowered her head and held her bandaged hand. "…sorry."

"Why do you have to apologize?" Hayato and Takeshi Yamamoto made room for Tsunayoshi Sawada, and quietly walked out of the living room with Lanbo, who was still in a daze.The boy squatted in front of Aiya Zhongyuan, and gently spread the girl's fingertips that were slightly scarlet due to the force.But she seemed to be scalded, she suddenly withdrew her hand and carried it behind her back.

"sorry."

Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't know what she experienced in the short 5 minutes leading to ten years later, let alone who she met and what she heard.He could only clearly understand that Zhongyuan Aiya was injured, and she was by his side, indirectly because he was injured.

Although the boy panicked under the teasing of Nakahara Aiya ten years later, when he really saw the girl get hurt, he blamed himself more than the fear of Nakahara Chuya.But the other party was apologizing over and over again. This kind of absurdity made the young man purse his lips tightly, and his eyes of the same color under the brown forehead were depressed.

I didn't protect Aiya well.he thinks.

But Aiya Nakahara didn't understand, looking at Tsunayoshi Sawada like this, she felt confused and helpless like never before.At the end of her nose, all the sweet and seductive smells that used to have disappeared.The smell she can smell is nothing but the smell of home that Sawada house often has.

But that's true, because it's inherently impossible for humans to smell the emotions of others.But the girl doesn't understand this, she only knows that her world has changed dramatically in such an instant.She is like a genius who learned to run from birth, but after being deprived of the right to run by adults, she doesn't even understand how to walk.

She foolishly thought that the boy was angry, so she grabbed Sawada Tsunayoshi's fingertips even more panicked, so tight that even the boy could vaguely feel the heat spreading from the blood.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the girl apologized over and over again with a pale face.She felt that she had done something wrong, or that she had messed up the task that Li Baoen gave her... She thought about a lot of things, and kept apologizing for one thing incoherently, but these things were all wrong, Or maybe it wasn't her fault at all.

"Aiya!"

"!"

In the suddenly amplified voice of the young leader, Nakahara Aiya suddenly tightened her shoulders, feeling a little timid.Her eyes were red, and there were tears in her eyes.

I didn't do my job well, and I'm going to be scolded.Aiya Zhongyuan who was thinking like this got a hug, a light hug.The boy's chest is not broad, but it is more than enough to hold a little girl.

"Does it hurt?"

"Eh…?"

"Injury hurts, right?" Sawada Tsunayoshi lowered his head and faced him with a relaxed smile.He even tried grinning, making what might be called a grimace.When he was 14, he often made this expression unconsciously because of the pain of the injury, but at the age of 16, he had to imitate it deliberately. "I know, it hurts so much, I used to fall down the stairs a lot...now sometimes."

Then, under his gaze, Aiya Nakahara opened her mouth slightly, shedding tears while maintaining a dazed expression.Drop by drop, drop by drop.The tears shed for the first time since the girl was born are as clear as her own blank past.

Tears are unfamiliar to Aiya Nakahara, because in this inhuman life from the age of nine, no one has ever written such a word.Just like they can't learn to feel guilty, monsters don't understand what grief is.

She remembered ten years later, when the man who lied to her and said he was called "Shuji Tsushima" asked her to take off the neck ring her father put on her, the thin and frivolous look fake smiley face.

[If you don’t want to die, just wear it obediently. 】

[Yes, it hurts, right?Dying hurts, so be good. 】

【Remember well, Aiya... this is death. 】

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Nakahara Aiya grinned and raised her head, crying loudly like every ordinary child in the world. "I don't know, sorry, I don't know…"

In her memory, Osamu Dazai's smile is so clear that she can't forget it, and can only play it in her head over and over again.

Before leaving ten years later, Osamu Dazai put on thick gloves and put on a neck ring for her trembling as if with "love".Therefore, Aiya Nakahara, who was deprived of her "sense of smell", didn't understand how to describe the exact emotion in the man's chest, but the tone that was soft as if she was stroking a flower was real.

[Aiya, in this world... there is no truly painless death. 】

"I'm sorry, I didn't know the pain was so painful, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Aiya, it's okay." Tsunayoshi Sawada patted the girl's thin back strangely, and even the two young men outside the door poked their heads in.Although Hayato Gujiji frowned, there was still a hint of anxiety and worry in his blue eyes.Takeshi Yamamoto also withdrew all his smiles, and the little Lanbo held his finger in his mouth, his eyes were red as if he was about to cry in the sound of crying, but he wanted to do it for this stupid young lady again. A role model, stubbornly refusing to cry.

In the comfort of Sawada Tsunayoshi, Nakahara Aiya's crying finally gradually became smaller.She buried her forehead in the boy's neck and sobbed pitifully, even her body trembled from hiccups.

"A broken leg...it must hurt..."

"He wanted to die with you at the beginning."

"Then... suffocation must be hard, right?"

"That's the choice of the person who did the wrong thing."

Even though it was the death chosen by the other party, the one who was happy, even happy, was Aiya herself.Tsunayoshi Sawada knew about this, and so did the girl herself.But the boy couldn't blame him, not even the strength to blame him.

"Ahhh! I won't cry after we agree!" the boy shouted loudly, as if he was blaming himself for his weakness.Then he simply picked the girl up, put her on the sofa like a knight holding a princess, and awkwardly helped her take off the bandage and re-wrap it.

The girl sat obediently on the sofa, her nose was red from crying, and she looked at Tsunayoshi Sawada's red eyes and pursed lips from top to bottom.

But Gangji is shining.Aiya Zhongyuan thought this way, in her eyes, although the young man was facing the darkness, he seemed to be wearing a ray of light.

The girl has never been so clearly aware of her ugliness and inhumanity that she is incompatible with her like this moment. The cognition of "inhuman" was like a ripple, although it quickly disappeared in her mind.But even if it is only for a moment, it is already a kind of progress for this stubborn Aiya Zhongyuan who still refuses to admit that she is not human.

"I made Ryunosuke angry before."

"Is there an apology?"

"No, I didn't know that before...but I think I'm doing it wrong."

"Then..." As he spoke, Sawada Tsunayoshi smiled awkwardly thinking about Aiya Nakahara, "I will apologize to Mr. Nakahara later, and then Aiya will also apologize to Mr. Akutagawa."

"En." The girl nodded obediently and forcefully.

As if to liven up the atmosphere, Takeshi Yamamoto walked into the quiet living room.Laughing loudly, he patted Gokuji Hayato on the shoulder.The anger of the silver-haired boy with an octopus head rose at a speed visible to the naked eye, and then reached its peak when Takeshi Yamamoto grabbed Sawada Tsunayoshi's shoulders.

Aiya Zhongyuan seemed to be admiring a "farce", looking at the three people who were facing the sofa and pulling one by one, she suddenly pursed her lips and laughed.Her laughter was crisp and sweet, like a bright red apple with juicy sweetness, which stunned the teenagers for a moment, and then they laughed too.

Li Baoen sent away the hand holding Lanbo's collar, watched the little boy rush into the middle of the four of them crying, and then lowered the brim of his hat.

"Isn't this being 'bought' by the port mafia, stupid gang."

However, if this "incompetent" disciple can improve a little bit, then it would not be a big problem to add an extra smuggling channel to Mori Ogai.

The author has something to say:

[There is no painless death in this world] In my heart, I think Osamu Dazai must understand this.But he was still looking for it, shouting, "Where is there a fresh and painless method of suicide?".Is this looking for death, or looking for a person who dreams of carrying his life on the way to death...

Aiya finally understands the horror of death through the pain, and also realizes how ugly and hateful it is to laugh because of the death and pain of others...

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Serious time is over, I love making Aiya cry