golden age

Even if I tell myself, Jinzheng and I are different.I am me and she is her.But people in this world regard me as Jin Zheng.I just can't seem to get rid of the name Xiyuansi Jinzheng and be myself.

I still want to know if there is any difference between the me now and the Jin Zheng in the past.Is there that difference that can distinguish two people who are completely different.

"Xiyuansi," Buer suddenly stopped when he heard my question, "Although I don't know why you asked such a question, I hope you don't get angry. The old you, the former Xiyuansi Jinzheng , although I don't know her, but I don't think she is a likable girl. She is completely different from you now, as if she has become two people."

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes full of my reflection.

At that moment, I seemed to hear something blooming in my heart, and it seemed that the slow water flow day after day suddenly turned into raging waves, beating the banks on both sides.

"However, what I know is the current you. You are a very warm and bright girl. People will look at her, get close to her, and even like her unconsciously. Although she sometimes likes to wander, no I know I'm thinking about something inexplicable. However, I still think that you are very good now."

"You... think I'm... fine now?"

"Well. Yes." Fuji said with certainty, "I have heard many rumors about you before. However, in my eyes, those are just rumors. Even if you were the same as the rumors in the past, but The you in front of me now is the real you? Isn't it?"

I really exist now?

I have never dared to think about this question. Is it a real fact that I, as myself, exist in this world, or is it just a dream of nothingness?

I don't know, and I never dared to know.Whenever I look at the face in the mirror, I will be intoxicated and confused.Is this my face, my features?No part of me is mine.What is mine?Is it that illusory soul?But who can tell me what kind of substance the soul is?What color is it and how much does it weigh?

"I've been thinking about some things in the past recently. It seems that I can't be accepted by others. People who knew me in the past seem to be more willing to see me in the past than I am now. Xiyuan Temple Jin How could Zheng be like this, Xiyuan Temple Jinzheng shouldn’t be like this.”

"I think, only you know what you are like, and only you know what is best for you. The you in the eyes of others is what they think of you. Since you think you were not good before, then You should stick to your own opinion. Besides, there are many people who think that you are very good now. Like me, like Ruomi, we all like you now.” Buer’s sincere eyes made me feel an inexplicable warmth meaning and emotion.What he said was like a clear spring, washing away the troubles in my heart for so many days.

The depressed and entangled mood that had always been there was suddenly swept away.I haven't felt that the color of the sky is so pure and transparent for a long time.

The sun is gradually tilting, and our figures are stretched very long by the sun that is about to set.Fuji and I walked side by side on the small road, which seemed to have no end, but it was so pleasant to walk.

"Jin Zheng, why are you free to go to the tennis club together today?" Ruomi was a little surprised at my initiative to go to the tennis club after school.

"I don't think I've been there for a few days, so I went to see it together. Besides, isn't the semi-final coming soon? I should also go to cheer everyone up."

"Ah, did your conscience find out?"

"What, I've always been very conscientious."

"Okay, okay, Miss Xiyuansi Jinzheng, who has always been conscientious, let's go quickly." After saying that, Ruomi took my hand and walked out of the classroom together.

When I got home in the evening, after I had dinner, I ran to the yard in a hurry.Just bought some fertilizer and am about to put some fertilizer on the plants, which are now my responsibility anyway.

"As for me, although I can't compare to your former masters. But I think I have always done my best to you, so please, give me some face. Be sure to grow up well, and then Bloom a whole yard of flowers." I am trying to communicate with them and develop feelings.Hope they can understand.Your original master also had a lot of helplessness, so he left just like that.She's fine, it's all over once and for all, pity me, I don't know how to deal with the aftermath.well!

Didn't I just plan to follow my own life trajectory from the beginning?I think, in this case, even Jin Zheng can feel relieved, right?

But right now, I'm not sure how she feels.Maybe it's because I occupy her body, so I still hope that the decision I make is what Jin Zheng hopes to see.And those things that Jinzheng has always wanted to do but was unable to do, I also hope that I can help her do it.I don't want to see her suffering so hard.In normal times, I would definitely think that Jinzheng like that is really asking for trouble, even a little unreasonable.But in fact, her life was really too sad and too sad.Her character, her destiny, her family, her family name.In the end, all that was created was just a tragedy.

I hope that in a sense, I can live for her and live a relaxed life for her.However, I didn't realize until now that although my fate and hers are intertwined, they are different after all.I'm not as sure as I was before whether she will make the same choice as me, but I am sure that the current life is the life I want.

There was a little girl named Xiyuansi Jinzheng who had a sweet but painful dream.Maybe she didn't wake up until the end.Even though there was pain inside and outside the dream, she still chose to stay there.

Jin Zheng, I want to say sorry.I'm not sure if this is the life you want.If not, please forgive me.I'm still going to go on like this until the end.

"Miss." Mrs. Yamada came to the yard at some point.

"Is there a problem?"

"Madam is calling, please answer."

"Madam? Mother? I see." I glanced at the courtyard in the evening breeze, then walked back to the house along the gravel path.

When I lie on the pillow, the spring dream is exhausted, and the setting sun still shines in the deep courtyard.

The author has something to say: This volume is so long, I didn't expect it.But it's finally over, and the next thing is the final volume, which probably won't be very long.