Big Fish Begonia

movies, sci-fi, or horror.After all, the creation of human beings is too new for gods, but Chisongzi didn’t ask around. In the dark theater, he sat upright like a schoolboy with popcorn in his arms, completely focusing on the plot without blinking his eyes. Sometimes, my whole body trembled because of the special sound effects, and it didn't affect me at all if I spilled a popcorn or two.

He took red pine nuts to the seaside—oh no, there is no sea in his city.Instead, he found a quiet and clean river, plunged into it to show off, and then regretted it: how could he forget that Chisongzi is a fairy related to water-this guy perfectly explained what it means to be like a fish in water, in a small river Floating up and down, there is no need for breathing. The water flows neatly and separately or side-by-side according to his movements and needs. The shape of each rolled-up water flower seems to be carefully carved.

Sitting by the riverside, he looked at the red pine nuts that came out of the river with splashes of water, and the thousands of light spots in the sun turned into almost shining red pine nuts. He never thought that there was a person who could be so beautiful. the point.

He realized he wanted to kiss him.To kiss him, to touch him, to touch him, to... embrace the incredible miracle that had befallen him.

As the night darkened, it began to rain.As always, Chi Songzi sat beside the bed in a daze, with a radio next to it, playing songs high and low, with mixed tones.He opened the door and came in and knelt on the bed, then hugged the dazed man from behind and kissed the top of his hair.

"What are you thinking about?"

"It's raining again."

"Since I met you, it has been raining a lot. Are you a rain god, a water god or something?"

"Can not remember."

"Try to see if you can control the rain? You can't even dry your clothes."

"I tried and couldn't do it."

"Then maybe you are the river god. He Bo or something—have you met the Simon Leopard?"

"Who is that?"

"Yes—forget it, it doesn't matter."

"Oh……"

He suddenly thought of a question.In the past few days, Chi Songzi began to try to go out alone. He sat down on the bed, and by the way, turned the other one over to face him: "Have you met him?"

"Who?"

"As you said before, the person you are looking for."

"No. But I can feel him. I can't say it well, it's a very vague...but very definite existence."

He was suddenly on fire with jealousy, his never-before-seen strong possessiveness turned into anger licking his mind, a fire burning in his chest and stomach.

"Songzi, you..." He heard him calling his name, that's all, "Don't go looking for him; stay with me—"

The bed sheet was wrinkled under Chisongzi's body. He looked at him, still as stable as ever, and calmly accepted all these things that he didn't even expect to happen. His eyes were clear and transparent, and he kept looking at him as if Can look into his soul.

When you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you.

He thought of Nietzsche inappropriately.The development of the matter exceeded expectations, and it was obvious that the brain was almost clamoring to warn that this was wrong, and the red light flickered dazzlingly, but he couldn't control himself——he couldn't control the white and fragile part of the person beneath him. A hot kiss was imprinted on his neck.

And then another.

And then... and another one.

The raised neck of Chisongzi and the fingers clenched behind his back were both painful and happy, murmuring something to him, and he heard the sound in his consciousness, but he had no intention to distinguish it.

A melancholy and dissociated song was playing on the radio, and the female voice was singing in a low voice, mixing with the wind outside the window.He climbed the spire of the soul that he had never dreamed of in a rainy night, for the first time he understood what it means to be out of control, but he endlessly made this mistake repeat itself over and over again.

The rain didn't stop that night.

"... Forget the fundamentals, how happy is life?"

He knew that night was a mistake.For him, Yu Chisongzi, and that anonymous person, it was a kind of betrayal, but the sense of possessive territory hovered in his mind again and again, and sometimes it suddenly rose to the point of rage, and they fell into an endless loop of unsolvable .

醒时同交欢，Pursue pleasure when I am awake, 醉后各分散。 When drunken I reel, our companionship ends.Life is going on, but it is maintained under a thin layer of calm that is like a water film that can shatter at any time, and—and it seems that something is changing.

He began to feel that something was wrong.The way Chisongzi looked at him slowly became sad, that kind of unreasonable and illogical sadness.Even weirder, he was afraid.It is not a fear of the unknown, but a natural reaction to the sadness of the red pine nut that seems innate; this coping is so familiar, as if it has been practiced tens of thousands of times.

He was afraid to see his eyes like that.What is he mourning?What does it matter to him?

he does not know.He didn't want to know either.

It was rainy night again.

The rain was not heavy, the raindrops were dripping, and the sound was soft and rhythmic, lulling him to sleep like a lullaby.He drank a little too much earlier, and fell asleep dizzily, and he didn't know when the red pine nuts fell asleep.In the middle of the night, he felt the person in his arms move, he let go, and Chisongzi left.He thought he couldn't sleep again and went to the study to read, but he didn't think much about slipping back into sleep.

But the red pine nuts didn't leave.With his back turned to him, he seemed to hear Chisongzi talking in a drowsy state, but exhaustion, drunkenness and drowsiness made his brain a mess, his eyelids were fighting, and his consciousness was flakes.

"Zhu Rong..." Chisongzi said.The voice is low and light, the chords of midnight falling in the rain, like calling and reciting.Where he couldn't see, the three tear marks were no longer the gentle and gentle water color when they first saw it, but the blue color became more and more transparent, like a group of untouchable riddles.

"Zhu Rong," the voice mingled with faint crying, and then more and more obvious sobs, "Zhu Rong, I'm here to find you, you don't know how hard it took me to find you, you've been away for too long, too long now I'll take you back and take you home—

Who do you think is the one who forgot everything?

"follow me--"

The sound of rain fell outside the window.

When he woke up, it was bright daylight, the rain had stopped, and there were no red pine nuts anywhere.

He returned to the room with a bunch of messed up thoughts, sat cross-legged on the bed, hugging the quilt in his arms—like what red pine nuts do most often.He began to recall, last night and everything that happened in the past, pieced together the memories bit by bit.The web that weaved seemed to take shape, but now he was afraid to confirm his conjectures, and even refused to believe everything that happened.

He kept remembering and forgetting, the loss of the hourglass made people sadly powerless and helpless, he had fallen into endless darkness and despair without knowing it, and the disordered words that he vaguely heard that night seemed to be just imagination, together with Chi Songzi's entire existence is becoming more and more illusory, just an illusion derived from his fission in a situation where there is no way out.

He finally didn't think of anything.

END

5. 【Zhu Song】Love

If it hadn't been for a power outage at home, Chi Songzi might have forgotten how hot it is in summer.He broke free from a bear hug, sweating profusely, not sure if he was still dreaming—after all, the room was like a steamer or purgatory now.Chi Songzi dug out the remote control from under the pillow, but unfortunately the life-saving air conditioner didn't seem to respond; he crawled over the pillow and Zhu Rong to turn on the fan, and the same thing happened.Phone chargers and everything else that needs electricity are such a disappointment.

Well, it looks like there was a power outage.

It was seven o'clock in the morning, and the sun was already scorching hot. Chi Songzi got out of bed, and even with bare feet, she could feel the heat radiating from the floor.Such sweltering heat is frustrating and dulls thinking.Chi Songzi stood for a while and turned his head to look at the bed. There was no quilt on his side at all—he realized that he might have kicked it off in the middle of the night, and now they were entangled around Zhu Rong like a hill.

His boyfriend is also sweating profusely now, but he is sleeping soundly while holding the air conditioner.Chi Songzi couldn't help sniggering, and decided not to help that person uncover the quilt—it seemed a little unkind, but... Maybe Zhu Rong took the quilt for him?And that hug gesture is so familiar.

When physical cooling failed, he had to find some chemical method to calm himself down.He decided not to wear shoes, and walked out of the bedroom barefoot (this time he remembered to draw the curtains instead of the doors and windows).There is cold beer, ice water, and ice watermelon in the refrigerator. This early in the morning... He crossed his hips and thought about it, and suddenly a warm ball wrapped around his feet.

Chisongzi lowered his head, and the little gray cat rubbed against his feet aggrievedly and purred.He picked it up, and then put it down again (it's too hot to hold a ball of fur on a hot day): "Qiu," he knelt down and touched his neck, "do you think it's too hot too?"

The gray-white cat scratched his trousers with its paws, then grabbed the fabric and dragged him towards the balcony.Chi Songzi was staggered by this small but not negligible force. To be honest, he didn't want to go to the balcony: it was the place where the sun was the most at this point.

When he finally gave in and followed Qiu to the balcony, he understood why the cat had been aggrieved early in the morning: the cat’s den in the shade was occupied by a big black dog, and this guy’s original residence was big. Basking in the sun.So, Kun sacrificed Qiu's territory for his own coolness-it's also fortunate that the cat didn't go up and scratch it directly.

Chisongzi shook his head, and moved Kun's nest from the balcony to the corner of the living room. There was a bush of green plants next to it. It was a good hiding place, and it was also the usual