under fern mountain

As soon as Shi Ran came home, he could smell the aroma of the food, and that living atmosphere of home immediately diluted the smell of alcohol on him.He imagined that Pei Haojie had been busy in the kitchen for a long time preparing so many dishes, and how he couldn't be reached by calling him, and finally went to the company in a fit of anger to pick up himself smelling of alcohol - just thinking of this, he It's just wrong.

Shi Ran felt guilty, so even though he was full of beer and wanted to go to the bathroom, when Pei Haojie smiled brightly at him and said let's eat first, he sat obediently at the table as if he had been enchanted.

Pei Haojie also thoughtfully arranged the chopsticks for him.

There is nothing to say about Pei Haojie's cooking skills. In order to take care of Shi Ran who goes out early and returns late at work, he has developed many special dishes over the years.Shi Ran was already hungry, but in order to take care of Pei Haojie's mood, he ate so much that he couldn't enjoy it any more.Pei Haojie scooped up two big bowls of soup for him, and he finished it all.

When she was finally full of food and drink and couldn't hold back to go to the toilet, Pei Haojie finally moved.He had been staring at Shi Ran just now, and didn't move until he was fed. He stretched out his long arms and carried him to the bedroom without any explanation.Shi Ran was hanging upside down on his shoulders, full of water, electricity and dangling, trying to vomit but couldn't vomit, so he was thrown onto the bed with a painful expression.

Pei Haojie didn't give him a chance to vomit, so she stopped him and pushed him directly to the bedside.

Because it is venting, the atmosphere has nothing to do with gentle lingering.Shi Ran felt like the meat on the catfish board, letting him round and flatten it into various shapes.

At a certain critical point, he suddenly struggled frantically.Pei Haojie knew that he was going to the toilet, pinched his thighs, and made him honest, crying and pushing to get off him.Pei Haojie pinched Shi Ran's face, made him face her eyes, and began to bite his lips.

Needless to say the final result, Shi Ran didn't go to the bathroom, and was urinated directly on the bed.The sheets and the floor were in such a mess that it was impossible to see.He was so ashamed to face others, yet Pei Haojie could calmly wrap him up and stuff him into the guest room.

Shi Ran can't play this, Pei Haojie knows this very well.

Punishment is punishment, not much fun.

Early the next morning, Shi Ran got up with a sore back and a sore back, and was about to run to settle accounts with Pei Haojie.He opened the door and saw that the dishes had been washed, the sheets had been washed, and the floor had been wiped clean. Pei Haojie was sitting on the windowsill tinkering with the game console with a peaceful look.When Shi Ran took a step, he smiled, and when he came to him, he said that there were tea eggs and green vegetable porridge in the pot, and he served them himself.

Seeing the harmless face of humans and animals in front of him, the arrogance that Shi Ran just got up extinguished the flame.

With a sudden glance, Shi Ran saw the game console in his hand, and then remembered that yesterday should be Pei Haojie's first day after "changing jobs".

He understood almost immediately why Pei Haojie cooked a table of his favorite dishes yesterday, and why he was so angry.

Shi Ran was too busy, so busy that Pei Haojie was still not reconciled even if she knew that he was doing it for two people.He wanted Shi Ran to accompany him and give him more attention.A strong and unrestrained possessiveness occasionally drives him into restlessness.Desperately earning money, trying to reduce the pressure on Shi Ran... Use the fastest speed to free up Shi Ran's time, so that he can really do what he likes - Pei Haojie's proposal that day was not selfless.He wants to occupy Shi Ran more time.

Shi Ran told him, don't hold back what bothers him, but tell him.

Honestly, if only it could be done so easily.Pei Haojie thought to herself.

Of course he is willing to share everything with Shi Ran, provided everything is good.Pei Haojie only wanted to report good news and not bad news.

People have the instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and he doesn't want Shi Ran to stay further away.

Sometimes Pei Haojie couldn't figure out why Shi Ran couldn't devote more effort to him.To love someone, these should be spontaneous behaviors.When he took his heart, he hoped that Shi Ran would also take care of him, and over time he would transform himself even more twisted.If Shi Ran didn't ask, he wouldn't say anything.In my heart, I started counting down again, to see when he would notice it.

The scolding battle against Pei Haojie's job-hopping may be just an ordinary Internet turmoil in Shi Ran's eyes, but it is quite a hurdle for Pei Haojie who relies on online operations for a living.

Yesterday was his first day on the new platform, which can be said to be crucial.But Shi Ran not only forgot, but also drank like that outside.

"Did you broadcast live yesterday?" Shi Ran grabbed the game console in his hand and fiddled with it repeatedly, "How do you feel? I have often visited your Weibo for the past two days, and it seems to have stopped now."

"It doesn't stop, that's it." Pei Haojie said indifferently.

Shi Ran was blocked by him for a while, and he didn't know how to continue the topic.

"If someone scolds you, I'll scold you back." Shi Ran nodded to himself.

His appearance was somewhat cute, but Pei Haojie smiled and didn't answer.

"Do you really go to Weibo every day?"

"Yes!"

Pei Haojie was silent for a moment: "I broadcast live for the first time since I quit yesterday."

"Ah. How's the response? You've always been popular."

Pei Haojie glanced at him: "Although you didn't catch up with the live broadcast before, you still cared about it. Now... have you registered for an account?"

It may be the result of being in a bad mood during this period of time and suppressing it for too long. Some complaints are obvious without saying it.

As expected, Shi Ran opened his mouth, hesitated to speak several times, and finally sighed and said: "Hao'er, I'm really tired. I worked overtime last month until I fell asleep standing up every time I came home... I didn't mean it Ignoring you is really more than enough!"

"I know, I know." Pei Haojie smiled unnaturally, and jumped off the topic.

Shi Ran also got serious: "Don't be like this."

"What about me?" Pei Haojie's suppressed words were stimulated by Shi Ran's tired tone, "I also work very hard, but I take care of your diet and daily life carefully. Because it is you. I am willing , I'm happy, I don't think it's a burden."

"I have never regarded you as a burden, what does this mean?"

"I don't mean anything else." Pei Haojie turned back again, "It's just that sometimes I feel quite boring."

After a few seconds of silence between the two, Shi Ran stood in front of him and looked at him directly: "It's boring, isn't it? Are you going to settle with me who paid more?"

"I've never settled this with you, Shi Ran, never. You ask yourself what you care about? I've always been spontaneous to you, but you always think it's a bargaining chip. Who insists on Let's compare the two on the balance?"

"I didn't mean to use it as a bargaining chip... Do you have to talk about this?" Shi Ran became a little angry, and his voice became higher.

"That's what you mean in what you said!" Pei Haojie threw the earphones around his neck and stood up. He was half a head taller than Shi Ran, and the confrontation was more oppressive, "You didn't ignore me on purpose, but you did. You think it’s because you work so hard that you can’t take care of me, it’s okay, I’ll just take care of you, I enjoy myself. But some things are spontaneous...you can fucking fall asleep even having sex!”

Shi Ran was about to explode with anger: "Pei Haojie, what's wrong with you? Don't blame me for your own delusional disorder! I don't have enough energy, I don't have time, I'm so fucking tired that I can fall asleep after sex! But That proves that I don't care about you, ignore you?"

Pei Haojie took a deep breath and closed her eyes: "I don't want to quarrel with you in the morning. You have to go to work later, and you won't have time to eat."

"I never wanted to quarrel with you!" Shi Ran closed the door behind her backhand and went out.

For a long time after Shi Ran left, Pei Haojie stayed calm in the room alone, staring in a daze at the standby screen of the computer screen.After hearing the door closing, Pei Haojie walked to the kitchen, looked down at the untouched breakfast in the pot, poured the vegetable porridge into the toilet, broke up the tea eggs and fed them to the wild dogs and cats downstairs.

Construction was underway near the subway station, and several motorcycles sped past in front of the construction site surrounded by plastic sheets. Shi Ran took a mouthful of dust and rushed to the company with a dry throat.

During the day, he kept scrolling through Pei Haojie's Weibo, unable to figure out what went wrong with the two of them.

Some changes have occurred subtly in the past two years.

If you think about it carefully, there are many nodes on the timeline that can be traced back.Maybe it started when Shi Ran began to work overtime frequently, or maybe it started when Pei Haojie lived alone and boring at home day after day, a gully appeared in the emotions of the two of them, and the wind and rain were filled with sand and became a gray isolation zone.

They were still as close as ever, they just didn't understand each other as well.

It wasn't until after get off work that Shi Ran received Pei Haojie's WeChat message, saying that he would not eat at home at night and went out to eat.

Shi Ran sighed, holding his mobile phone in a daze at his desk.

Pei Haojie didn't eat at home, so he had dinner with his colleagues outside.

Arriving home at eight o'clock, Shi Ran saw a warm yellow light in the gap before opening the door, and knew that Pei Haojie had returned.He wasn't in the living room, he was at the game table in the study as usual, when he heard the sound of the door closing, he asked a normal question and came back?

Shi Ran went down the steps: "What did you have for dinner?"

"Mala Tang." Pei Haojie's voice was mixed in the background music of the game, "There are oranges in the refrigerator, cut up."

Seeing that he didn't intend to chat, Shi Ran didn't make fun of himself.After washing his hands, he opened the refrigerator door and took out the chilled oranges. When he passed by the kitchen, he saw the Malatang takeaway box thrown in the trash can——

Shi Ran knocked on the door of the game room: "You didn't go out tonight? There are takeaway boxes in the trash can."

"Oh, that is probably at noon."

Can you eat Malatang twice in a row at noon and night?Who did you make an appointment with when you went out that night?They don't have many friends around here.Shi Ran had a lot to ask, but Pei Haojie always ended the topic with a few sentences.

Shi Ran felt quite bored.He was silent for a while, ate the whole plate of oranges by himself, washed the dishes, washed the clothes, and washed himself. Before ten o'clock, he lay down on the bed and fell asleep in a daze.

There seems to be a silhouette in the vague darkness, but it is not particularly obvious. The light yellow night light wraps the shadow with a layer of fur.

Shi Ran was stunned and heard Pei Haojie's voice: "We agreed before that if we quarrel, today's affairs will be over today, and we can't carry our emotions to tomorrow."

Shi Ran opened his eyes sleepily, staring at his black side face: "I fell asleep?"

"Well, it's already one o'clock, go to sleep." Pei Haojie covered him with the quilt, "I shouldn't yell at you during the day, I'm sorry."

Shi Ran's throat was a little dry, like a fishbone that couldn't be swallowed even after repeated swallowing.Pei Haojie's apology was very sincere, without any dissatisfaction or unwillingness.Unfamiliar and dispirited.

In the next two days, Shi Ran confirmed that this inadvertent feeling of xenophobia was not his own illusion.Pei Haojie would hold his mobile phone and chat with others non-stop. At the computer desk and under the quilt before going to bed, he typed quickly and without pause.A few times, Shi Ran peeped at the screen and saw that what he posted were long paragraphs of content.Thinking about it carefully, Pei Haojie hasn't sent him more than three lines of information for a long time.

... Isn't Pei Haojie not worried?of course not.

It's just that the object of telling is not him.

Who did he complain about in the scolding battle of job-hopping?With whom to discuss countermeasures?Has he also lost control of his emotions, yelled at him, and felt sad and puzzled?