Morbid Addiction

The moment he walked to the door of Ning Junyan's bedroom, Chen Yuncheng was a little discouraged.He hesitated for a moment, raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door, thinking that if Ning Junyan had already fallen asleep, he would not talk about it today.

In the end, he only knocked on the door twice before he heard Ning Junyan's voice from inside, saying to him, "Please come in."

Chen Yuncheng unscrewed the doorknob, opened the door a crack, and saw that there was only a small desk lamp on in the room, and Ning Junyan was sitting on the bedside, with a thick book spread out on his knees.

"Excuse me?" Chen Yuncheng asked.

Ning Junyan looked at him and said, "Don't disturb, you come in."

Chen Yuncheng walked in, stood by the bed and said to Ning Junyan, "I have something to tell you."

Ning Junyan folded the book and put it aside, and said to him, "Sit down and talk."

Chen Yuncheng originally hoped that Ning Junyan would go to the living room with him to sit down and talk, but seeing that Ning Junyan didn't intend to get up from the bed, he had to sit down by the bed and softly called his name: "Junyan."

Ning Junyan said: "What do you want to tell me?"

Sitting sideways by the bed was not convenient, Chen Yuncheng hesitated, turned around to face Ning Junyan, and sat cross-legged on the bed.

His gaze fell on the book next to Ning Junyan involuntarily, and he found that it was an all-English book, and he couldn't understand almost a word of the nouns on it.

Ning Junyan followed his gaze, pressed one hand on the cover of the book, and asked him, "Can't sleep? Do you want me to read to you?"

Chen Yuncheng laughed, "I can't understand you even after you read it, is it just a good time to hypnotize you?"

Ning Junyan tapped the hard book cover with his slender fingers, thought for a while before saying, "Want to read comics?"

When Chen Yuncheng heard the word comics, he thought of the book "The Book of Enchanted Love". He held back his shame and didn't raise his hand to cover his face. He said, "Don't read it. I'm almost thirty and I'm not interested in comics anymore. gone."

Ning Junyan said "Oh" and asked him, "Then what are you interested in?"

Chen Yuncheng rarely heard this question. He used to have so many friends, everyone would drink and chat together, but almost no one asked him what he was interested in.

Thinking about it carefully, he doesn't seem to be particularly interested in anything, especially after leaving school and working, he first set a goal for himself to save money, and then worked hard to make money.Up to now, his biggest goal is to return the money to Ning Junyan as soon as possible.

"I don't know either," Chen Yuncheng said, "I'm not particularly interested."

Ning Junyan nodded, "I'm not particularly interested."

Chen Yuncheng was a little surprised when he heard the words, "Are you not interested in your work?"

Ning Junyan said: "Work is work. Choose one thing and do it to the best. You don't necessarily need to be interested." He paused for a while, "But that was the thought before I met you."

Chen Yuncheng was stunned for a moment, his heart started beating bit by bit and gradually violently, he wanted to stop Ning Junyan from speaking, but at this moment, looking at Ning Junyan, he was speechless again.

Ning Junyan said: "After seeing you again, I realized that I am not really not interested in anything."

Chen Yuncheng turned his gaze away, and he said again: "Jun Yan."

Ning Junyan said: "You called my name for the second time."

Chen Yuncheng took a deep breath, and finally said the words, "You won't let me leave if you don't agree, have you thought about what will happen to us in the end?"

Ning Junyan said, "How about what?"

Chen Yuncheng lowered his head and looked at his coiled knees leaning against the edge of Ning Junyan's thin quilt, he said: "I remember when you were young, your parents came to take you away. In fact, I very much hoped that you would not leave. At that time, I felt You are my only relative." Chen Yuncheng has never said these words to others.

He still remembers that after Ning Junyan was taken away, he sat alone on the bench in the police station. He wanted to cry, but he held back.When someone came to talk to him, he still tried his best to look good, fearing that others would dislike him.

At this time Ning Junyan sat up straight, he stretched out his hand, and gently held Chen Yuncheng's hand, as if he was afraid of touching Chen Yuncheng's wound, Ning Junyan just held his fingers protruding from the edge of the gauze.

Chen Yuncheng didn't break free, and at this moment they seemed to have returned to the moment when they were separated in their teens.

"But," Chen Yuncheng continued after a long time, "I know you have to go back with your parents, I'm not qualified to keep you here, you have your own life."

Ning Junyan's voice was low: "Do you think I'm not qualified to keep you now?"

Chen Yuncheng shook his head, "That's not what I mean, I just want to say that we are not children anymore, even if we are brothers, we can't live together forever after we grow up, we will always have our own families."

Ning Junyan asked him: "Can you?"

Chen Yuncheng said: "I may not be able to, but I know you will. You are so good, I don't know how many equally good girls want to marry you."

Ning Junyan nodded, he still held Chen Yuncheng's finger and said, "Is that what you think?"

Chen Yuncheng looked at him, "I hope you have a good life."

Ning Junyan asked Chen Yuncheng: "Then how are you doing now?"

Chen Yuncheng never cared about having a good life, but he didn't feel that he was having a bad life, his life was destined to go on like this, there was no point in complaining about himself, he told Ning Junyan and at the same time told himself: "I think it's pretty good."

Ning Junyan said: "I also hope you have a good life." After finishing speaking, he smiled without warning, raised Chen Yuncheng's hand and gently pressed it against his chest, "But I can't control myself, even if you feel uncomfortable Well, I don't want you to leave either, what should I do?"

Chen Yuncheng was stunned.

The smile on Ning Junyan's face disappeared, and he looked at Chen Yuncheng intently: "Chen Yuncheng, I have tried my best to restrain myself, and I have been giving you time, do you understand?"

Chen Yuncheng's heart trembled, and he wanted to pull his finger out of Ning Junyan's hand.

"No," Ning Junyan squeezed his hand even tighter, "I don't want to hurt you, you will hurt. You ask me if I have thought about what will happen in the future, why haven't I thought about it? Since I saw you again I've been thinking about you that day, and sometimes it makes my head hurt. I've already thought about it, our future is that you stay by my side, and you are not allowed to leave without my consent. "

"Ning Junyan—" Chen Yuncheng felt a little unstable when he heard his own tone.

Ning Junyan raised his other hand beside him, pointed to his head, "I was injured here when I was a child, you must remember it."

Chen Yuncheng watched his movements and recalled the injury on his head when they first met.

Ning Junyan said: "Maybe it's still not normal until now. It's only when I see you that I get so excited, and even regret that I let go of your hand. If I don't let go, is it true that we won't be separated?" So long?"

Chen Yuncheng's heart was churning, and many emotions surged up together.

At this time, Ning Junyan took his hand, gave it to her lips and kissed it lightly, and said, "So don't say you're leaving, you won't be able to."

For a moment, Chen Yuncheng's hair stood on end because of his words, but in the next moment, he was overwhelmed by more complicated emotions, tormented by inner conflicts, and at a loss for what to do.

They sat face to face on the bed and didn't speak for a long time.

Ning Junyan looked very calm, and he reached out to brush the hair that fell from Chen Yuncheng's forehead, and then said to him: "Don't be afraid, I will give you time."

Chen Yuncheng looked at him.

Ning Junyan said: "I don't want to hurt you."

Chen Yuncheng was silent for a while, and asked, "Does your head still hurt now?"

Ning Junyan replied, "Occasionally."

Chen Yuncheng sighed softly, raised his hand and gently touched the top of Ning Junyan's head, calling him like he did when he was a child: "Yanyan."

Ning Junyan lowered his eyes, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and replied, "Yes."