Be Dazai's mother

I thought this kind of calm could last for a long time, but I didn't expect it to dissipate so easily.

When I woke up this morning, I found that the temperature of Aji next to me was very high. I only found out that I had a fever after I touched it.

The wounded child was lying on the bed panting, his eyes were closed tightly, a sick blush appeared on his pale face, and the gentle breathing sound that made me feel at ease became rapid.

I didn't expect that shortly after I took Aji out of Tsushima's house, he fell ill again. I was so anxious all of a sudden, Akiko who came over to wake me up comforted me, and did some urgent fever relief for Aji skillfully and reliably. deal with.

The boss went to buy medicine for Azhi, and Mr. Mori, who was a military doctor, also stayed to help.

Looking at Akiko and Mr. Mori's extremely proficient appearances, as a mother who was flustered and at a loss, I couldn't help feeling a lot of frustration and self-blame.

"It's inevitable that a novice mother will do this." Mr. Sen comforted me, and I gave him a wry smile.

Mr. Sen shook his head.He seemed to have something to do temporarily, and he looked outside with a serious expression. After saying goodbye to us, he hurried out of the room, leaving Akiko and I to guard Azhi together.

Kneeling on the edge of the bed and looking at A Zhi in a coma, I only felt the pain of my heart being split in two.

"Ah Zhi..." I felt distressed and took out a towel to wipe the cold sweat off his face.

Perhaps it was because of Mori Ogai's question last night that caused me a lot of uneasiness. Now seeing Aji's painful appearance, the anxiety in my heart suddenly reached its peak.

After all, Azhi's health is still not good, so he can't keep running around like this with me.I... I may really be able to do anything for Azhi, but if Azhi's body can't hold on, what can I do?

No matter what, I am just a weak and powerless ordinary person.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but grab Azhi's small hands and put them on my forehead, and softly shouted in a choked voice: "Azhi..."

"Sachiko." Akiko supported my shoulder and comforted me softly, "Don't worry too much, Aji just has a fever due to exhaustion and poor health."

"But his appearance..." Jingzi pondered for a while, and seemed to hesitate to say it outright, but then she made up her mind and said: "He seems to be born with poor health, coupled with severe malnutrition and You will get sick if you haven't been in the sun for a long time."

"...If you can, I still suggest that you don't go on long-distance travel, let him stay at home to recuperate, eat nutritious food, get more sun and exercise more." Akiko gave reliable advice.When she said these words, she was so mature and calm that she didn't look like an 11-year-old girl.

In such a world, both Akiko and Aji are terribly mature and calm, but I am very immature as an adult.I just interrupted my stay here with Xie Ye and his daughter for one night, and I have to ask them to take care of Azhi for me at this time. My heart was overwhelmed by guilt and self-blame.

"Cancel the plan to go to Fuyuki City. Let Aji continue to stay at my house to recuperate these few days. Don't care. Dad and I won't feel troubled." Akiko said softly.

"I see, thank you, Akiko." I showed a pale smile.

Although I am very embarrassed to bother them, but Aji is sick, and it is not easy for me to take him away.I can only see if I can help out at the dim sum shop as compensation.

It’s just that canceling the plan to go to Fuyuki City still makes me a little disappointed. After all, I want to go back to my hometown for Mei and say sorry to her and her parents.But no matter what, Azhi is the most important, and I can't let him go.

I said, "Well, let's put aside the plan to go to Fuyuki City—"

Before I could finish speaking, a hand suddenly reached out and grabbed me: "Sachiko."

Aji, who was pale and weak due to illness, looked up at me. He called to me with a small voice, and his eyes, which were unbandaged, seemed to be overflowing with nighttime lake water reflecting the stars.

"...Sakura." Aji smiled, and said, "I really want to see the cherry blossoms."

"Appointment... When winter is over and spring is here, the two of us will go to see the cherry blossoms together." Aji closed his eyes as if recalling a very happy event, and said in a vague voice: " Eating under such a cherry blossom tree makes even bad food taste delicious..."

"It would be great if I could eat with Sachiko under a cherry blossom tree like that. No matter what it is, it will be delicious enough to make people want to cry." He said, as if he couldn't hold on any longer. Fell asleep again.

It seems that he woke up suddenly because he heard Fuyuki City, and fell asleep because of the high fever after he finished speaking.

Aji still remembers what I said, he remembers that I once told him that eating under the cherry tree will make the food very delicious.

Because of this, I also remembered the thoughts in my heart when I said these words to Azhi at that time.

——When eating under the cherry blossom tree, even the disgusting mushrooms became delicious. This was not because the cherry blossom tree had any special magical power, but just because Mei was very happy at that time.

——"Happiness" is the most wonderful magic.

At that moment, tears rushed up uncontrollably, and a strong desire to vomit made me cover my mouth, and hurriedly opened the door and ran to the toilet.

"Ouch—" I vomited it out violently, because I hadn't eaten anything until now, so all I vomited out was water.The pain from the nausea and the emotional grief kept the tears running down my face as I threw up.

When I regained my senses, my tears still kept falling, and my mouth was full of bitter taste.And Akiko was standing behind me.

Because someone else—a little girl who was much younger than me—showed her cowardly, incompetent and unbearable side, I couldn't help but feel a strong sense of shame, and let out a shapeless sob, unable to say anything.

"Wipe it?" Akiko gently handed over the tissue.

"Thank you." I reached out to catch her tissue and wiped my face.

"Aji is fine, just a little fever." Akiko comforted me: "After taking the medicine and sleeping for a while, the fever will subside. You put too much pressure on yourself, so relax."

"I know, thank you Akiko." My mood stabilized.I sighed and said helplessly, "Sorry, I'm just a little uneasy for letting you see my immature side."

"Because I'm afraid I won't be able to afford Aji's medical expenses?" Akiko asked.

"There are also reasons for this." I said: "But it is not the main reason."

"I'm just... scared."

"It's scary anyway."

An uneasiness far deeper than the surface gripped my neck tightly.

I want to be Aji's mother, I can't let him go no matter what, I want to protect him, I want to watch him grow up.

But what can I do for this child?Each of us seems too small and vulnerable in the whole world.Just a small disaster can easily extinguish the struggling lights of countless people.

I am deeply afraid that one day, no matter how desperately I hold on to the light, Azhi will leave me.

At the same time, I felt guilty for not giving that child a better life.Maybe I shouldn't have taken Aji to Fuyuki City, I should have found the Tsushima family who moved away.

They still don't know the fact that Azhi is not dead, if they know, they will definitely come to pick Azhi home.At Tsushima's house, Aji can enjoy a better life and won't be running around with me.

Anyway, I just hope he is doing well.It doesn't matter what price I have to pay for it.

I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, and said in a suppressed voice: "It would be great if I could bear the pain for him. I am so afraid that Azhi, who has always been weak and sick, will not be able to persevere."

Akiko looked at me weakly in silence, and after a while she opened her mouth to break the heavy, breathless silence.

"Sachiko, there is something I want to tell you." Akiko looked at me seriously.

"What?" I looked up at her suspiciously.

Akiko took a deep breath, as if she had made some important decision, she stared at me closely with those jewel-like eyes, and said: "I have a special ability called 'Please don't die', With this ability, anyone who still has a breath of breath can be rescued."

I froze for a moment, and when I realized it, I didn't even think about it, put my hands on Akiko's shoulders, and said anxiously: "You can't just tell people about this kind of thing!"

As long as there is still a trace of breathing, people can be rescued - what an attractive ability is this?I believe that as long as there is any news about this ability from the outside world, countless people will scramble for it.

"How can you talk to people casually about this kind of thing?" I said in a somewhat stern tone.

Akiko seemed to be a little hurt by my changed face, and to conceal the hurt, she crossed her arms pretending to be angry, and said, "Because Sachiko, you are not someone else—is it okay to put it that way?"

"Akiko..."

"Since you said those things to me yesterday, I feel that you are a very gentle person, Sachiko." Akiko lowered her eyes, quietly grabbed my hand, and said, "Even if you are working hard to your death, you still I didn’t leave Aji alone. If that’s the case, I think I need to do something to help you.”

"So." Akiko raised her head, looked at me and said, "Sachiko doesn't need to be so worried. If something really happens, I'm still here, and I won't let the life in front of me disappear just like that."

Looking at the burning emotion in Akiko's eyes, I saw a powerful force in this pure and gentle little girl, so I broke free from the negative emotions.

Maybe we are too fragile in the whole world, but no matter what, there are still people like Akiko and Mr. Mori who firmly believe in themselves and never give up.

With these two people as a comparison, I can't always say something depressing, even if it's for the child, I have to cheer up.

Seeing my face getting better, Akiko asked, "Is it better?"

I nodded, touched my face embarrassingly, and said, "Thank you very much, Akiko."

Maybe it's because of the high pressure these days, and Aji's sudden illness again. My emotions will suddenly burst out when worry and anxiety are at their peak.

I felt the temperature on my face was a little high - well, I was really useless to be comforted by such a little girl.

Akiko shook her head, smiled and said to me: "Go back and find Azhi."

"Yeah." I replied and walked back to the room with her.

Then Akiko brought me some bread, and I fed him some porridge when he woke up again.The boss bought medicine for Azhi and came back. I wanted to give him the money, but the boss refused.According to him, the help I did at the pastry shop last night has been able to offset the cost of the medicine.

"Besides, I also hope that you can spend more time with Akiko." The boss looked a little embarrassed and said, "The child seems to like you very much. I am such a daughter, but I don't know how to teach children. Because I want to be a nurse Akiko kept arguing with me a few days ago, saying she was going to run away from home."

"Oh." The boss shook his head and said, "Fortunately, you are here."

I was distracted for a while as I recalled my conversation with my boss.Azhi over there took a few mouthfuls of porridge and then pushed back with a sleepy look.I came back to my senses and asked softly, "What's wrong? Isn't it good?"

"No appetite." Aji pursed his mouth.

"What if you don't drink? At least you can pad your stomach." I said helplessly.

Azhi looked reluctant to pick up the porridge again. Looking at him like this, I quietly handed him the things hidden behind me: "Look, what is this?"

"Tomato!" Aji said with some surprise.He's glad I remembered what he said last night.

"I'll satisfy your cravings, but you can't eat too much. You have to lie down and continue to sleep after eating. If you sweat more and sleep more, your illness will be cured sooner." I said with a smile.

Aji, who was holding a tomato in his hand, lowered his eyes, and the smile that he originally raised because he didn't want to worry me disappeared, and he asked softly, "Sachiko."

"Ok?"

"Do you think I'm troublesome?" Azhi asked blankly, "Do you regret grabbing my hand?"

"Do you think...it would have been nice if we hadn't met in the first place."

Looking at Azhi, who seemed to have returned to "Master Xiuzhi" when we first met, I reached out and grabbed the hair on his forehead helplessly, and said, "How can it be troublesome? Family members don't say troublesome or not troublesome." of."

"No matter what happens, I feel happy that I can meet you." I didn't give Azhi a chance to hide, I held Azhi's face with both hands, and looked at him with my own eyes.

Azhi was silent for a while, tugged at my sleeve, and said awkwardly: "Will Sakura still go to see it?"

"After all, you've said that, so you must be going, right?" I smiled and said, "Of course, we'll wait until your illness recovers."

Aji smiled happily.

Looking at his smile, I couldn't help laughing too.

Before I could feel relieved, there was a loud "bang" outside the window, which directly shook my whole body.

I was frightened, and subconsciously rushed to Azhi, and after hugging him tightly, I looked around like a vigilant mouse.

The sound came from the train station. I looked out the window and saw the people at the train station running around in fright, not knowing what happened.

Because I was concerned about Azhi's health, and there is still a long distance from the train station, and I don't know what happened outside now, it might be more dangerous to act rashly, so I said to Azhi: "I'll go and see , you stay here and don’t move, if something happens, don’t worry about me, just run away, okay?”

Azhi, who was still burning, looked at me with some dissatisfaction, and then said in a voice that could not hear any emotion: "There should be a fight over there with people with special abilities. Mr. Mori just left to deal with this matter Well, unfortunately, it looks like he can't handle it well."

Saying so, Aji shook his head.

"People with special abilities..." I murmured, before I could continue talking to Azhi, I suddenly heard the anxious voice of the boss downstairs.

"Jingzi!"

Aji and I looked at each other.After telling Azhi to be safe, I walked downstairs.

At this time, Akiko and the boss seemed to be arguing, and the boss blocked Akiko's way with his body.

"You can't go." The boss said with an extremely serious and angry expression: "What we should do now is to pack up our things so that we can escape quickly when the incident at the train station affects us! Instead of letting you alone Teenagers rushed over there to save people!"

"But there are people who need me." Akiko looked at her father with wide eyes.

If you want to say when Akiko realized that she was born with special powers, it would have to start when she was six years old, when she raised a little bird.

That's because Akiko has always cherished this little bird as the last gift left to her by her dead mother who hanged herself at the end of her spirit.

But one day, the little bird was injured by an accident. It was covered in blood, dying and twitching in Jingzi's hand.

Akiko was crying, not wanting to leave the little life her mother gave her at the end, but at that moment, she suddenly found a few words popping up in her mind.

"Please don't die."

When Akiko read the words in her mind, a miracle happened. The wounds on the dying bird disappeared. It even flew up with fluttering wings and came to Akiko's shoulder to rub her. tears.

From that day on, Akiko knew that she had a precious ability that no one could imagine.

She told her father about it.That day's father was silent for a long time, and Akiko who got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night even saw him drinking alone, and the floor was covered with soot.

Knowing that her father was worried because of her own affairs, Akiko felt deeply guilty for this.But at the same time, a kind of confusion took root in her young and soft heart.

——Why do I have such abilities?Can I do something with this power?

She thought of her dead mother and the active figure of the rescued bird, and the desire to save other people's lives was quietly hidden in the corner of her heart.

It was just because she was afraid of worrying her father, and Akiko didn't do anything too tough because of it, she just got into trouble with her father from time to time because of this matter.

But at this moment, the silhouettes of people running around at the train station were reflected in her clear and gentle eyes, a strong mood engulfed everything else in an instant like a flame, making her want to run to the chaos in the train station.

But Dad held her tightly, and this boulder suppressed the flame in her heart, making Akiko struggle in it.

And she knew very well that the reason why this boulder suppressed her heart was just because she loved her and didn't want her to have an accident.And this worry and love caused Akiko's heart to suffer 12 points of torture and suffering.

"Akiko, listen up." Mr. Yosano stretched out his hands to hold Akiko's soft cheeks, he looked at his daughter seriously with an angry and worried face, and said, "I know you are a gentle child, but You also know that if your abilities are exposed, you may suffer a lot of unimaginable pain."

"But..." Akiko lowered her head, her eyes dimmed.

"No but." The boss said, he squatted down and hugged Akiko, closed his eyes and said in a sad voice: "I only have you, I can't let you have an accident."

"..." Akiko was silent.

The sweet shop owner who cared about his daughter didn't notice my existence, but Akiko did.

The little dark-haired girl turned her head to look at me, eyes full of struggling pain.

——As if her own heart was crying for help.

What can I do in such a situation?I frowned and looked at Akiko with a sad expression.

I will feel sad for the life I have to lose, but if I have to make a choice, I can understand the mood of the pastry shop owner and at the same time like Akiko, I naturally hope that she will not go.

So, I did nothing.

"Listen to me, okay? Don't go there, let's see if we need to take refuge in an air-raid shelter when the situation comes, shall we?"

Akiko lowered her eyes and responded softly as if giving up everything.

At this moment, there was a sudden sound from outside. From our place, we could directly see a dying person struggling in the train station not far away, struggling and howling on the ground like a worm.

"Help me! Help me! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" But no matter how he struggled, his life was still passing away bit by bit, and blood flowed on the ground.

Akiko's eyes widened, and the pastry shop owner quickly grabbed her and shouted at me hysterically, "Close the doors and windows! Sachiko!"

I responded and was about to run to close the doors and windows.

"I—I don't want to die!!" the man cried loudly.

"Help me! I still want to live!"

"I don't want to die!!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Akiko raised her head in her father's arms and looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dad... I really still—" She pushed her dad away with unprecedented force.

"I can't let the life in front of me die." Akiko said so, running without looking back.

"Akiko!" I anxiously stretched out my hand to grab her hand, but the young girl nimbly dodged it.

She ran as fast as if she had wings suddenly growing behind her, and ran with all her strength as if she was trying to escape from the world that bound her.

"I'm here to save you!" Akiko called out loudly.

"Akiko!" The boss, who was the father, called out his daughter's name loudly behind her.

But no one could restrain her anymore, Akiko ran like a pure white, free bird to the train station full of chaos and cries.

Her immature but firm voice came faintly from afar.

"Extraordinary ability—"

"—"Please don't die"!"