Be Dazai's mother

Looking at Miss Sachiko who left with Osamu Dazai after saying hello to them, the people who stayed there could not help feeling that even Osamu Dazai could only be like a cat caught by the scruff of the neck when his mother caught him doing bad things on the spot The same was taken away.

But looking at the backs of the two leaving, Yosano Akiko showed a subtle look when he remembered what he and Osamu Dazai had just talked about.

After helping Ms. Sachiko to recognize her true feelings, looking at Ms. Sachiko who was talking to Mr. Sato over there, Akiko Yosano couldn't help but have a thought: Did this man even guess this step?

If Miss Sachiko had made another choice, what would Osamu Dazai do?Out of curiosity, Yosano Akiko quietly walked over to ask Osamu Dazai when everyone else was focusing on Miss Sachiko.

When the two were still young, Yosano Akiko and Miss Sachiko called Osamu Dazai "Aji" together, but now that both of them have grown up and are in the midst of hostile forces, she withdrew One step called him "Dazai", and she continued to address Ms. Sachiko as "Sachiko".

"Dazai." Yosano Akiko asked in a low voice, "If Sachiko really likes Mr. Sato, but Mr. Sato can't accept you, what would you do?" Although she felt that even under this premise, Sachiko would definitely Standing on Osamu Dazai's side, but Sachiko might feel a little sad too.

When a person has to choose between two things, even if he/she can firmly choose one side, it does not mean that the other side is completely unimportant.

Yosano Akiko looked seriously at Dazai Osamu's face, as if she wanted to get an answer from him.

Hearing her question, Osamu Dazai said with some trouble: "If this is the case, it is indeed quite a headache."

"But it doesn't matter." Dazai Osamu said with a smile: "Because I will help Mr. Sato reform his mind."

For Osamu Dazai, who seems to be born to manipulate people's hearts, it is not difficult to "educate" Mr. Sato into a person who can make Miss Sachiko happy.

"..." Yosano Akiko was silent.

She said with a delicate expression: "Need I remind you, do you laugh terribly?"

...How should I put it, she felt that Mr. Sato should be thankful that he was not favored by Ms. Sachiko.

Speaking of which, Ms. Sachiko is also very powerful, and I don't know how thick a filter she is wearing so that she can always look at Osamu Dazai with a loving face.Of course, Osamu Dazai's well-behaved appearance in front of Ms. Sachiko always makes people dumbfounded. It is completely impossible to imagine that this is a frightening person in the port mafia.

Strange mother and child—that must have occurred to anyone who saw them.

But even so, they are indeed stumbling and supporting each other to keep moving forward, even if they are covered with injuries, they will never shrink back.

Yosano Akiko sincerely hopes that both of them will be well.

···

And in the control room at this time, the glasses of Ango Sakaguchi, who had just recorded everything on the camera, reflected for a moment. He pushed his round glasses, secretly thinking about the next time Dazai Osamu will be in the bar. Then he was going to tease him with his natural Oda Sakunosuke, so he took this video and gave Osamu Dazai a public execution.

Thinking of this, Ango Sakaguchi couldn't help but let out a laugh.

At the same time, in a corner of the second floor, Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Gin, who were quietly waiting for Dazai Osamu's order to execute the plan, thought silently: Have they been forgotten?

···

On the other side, I was sitting on the sofa face to face with Azhi, who was pulling him home. Neither of us spoke immediately. There was an unnerving silence in the living room, which caused the constant "clicking" sound in the room. The clock also became extraordinarily noisy.

Azhi was sitting on the sofa opposite me. At this time, he was not wearing the usual black suit but a light-colored casual clothes, which made Azhi look much younger.Even though the sofa is very wide, he purposely huddled in a corner, looking pitiful.

He's such a bad kid and knows exactly what to do to give himself an edge.

—Unfortunately, that's what I do.

"Hmm." Looking at Azhi's soft face, I gave a dry cough and took the initiative to apologize: "First of all, I have to admit that I have done something wrong. Azhi, I didn't consider your mood well. Feel sorry."

Even if Azhi knew that there would be such a date in advance, and Azhi encouraged me to go on the date, but people have always been such complicated creatures. Not without.

Although Aji doesn't really seem to mind, it's better to say that he looks forward to my going out.About this point, I can more or less guess something... Aji just wants me to have my own life.

Seeing that I set an example by taking the initiative to break the silence and admitting my mistake in advance, Aji scratched his head, and said awkwardly in a somewhat vague tone: "I am the one who did the wrong thing, I shouldn't have followed Sachiko and you are dating someone else. "

I raised my eyebrows, and added dumbfoundingly: "And there's more than one person. I know you're worried about me, but anyway, it's okay to follow mom with people from the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency. too..."

If they are seen by other people who know them in Yokohama, they will be stunned and wonder if tomorrow is the end of the world, right?

Aji said dissatisfiedly: "They came here by themselves, I didn't call them." Except for Oda Sakunosuke and Sakaguchi Ango who were captured by him to help, and the Akutagawa brothers and sisters who helped carry out some unspeakable plan, he really No one else was called to come over.

I sighed, feeling helpless, and said, "If you don't want me to go on a date, I won't - you know that, right? No matter what, you are the most important thing in my heart."

Aji pursed his lips, leaned down slightly, crossed his fingers on his knees, and said, "That's not what I meant, Sachiko. I sincerely hope that you can go out on a date—or rather, I hope you can go out on a date." Own a life of your own."

He was silent for a while, as if he was feeling a little heavy in his heart, his complexion was not good, but this heaviness was not because he was dissatisfied that I would be snatched away by others, but more like feeling heavy because he was worried about me.Before I could say anything, Aji changed the subject.

"Sachiko, do you want a baby?" Aji looked up at me and asked seriously, "If you want to have a baby, I won't stop you, you know?"

Perhaps in order to ease the atmosphere that became a bit heavy between us for some reason, Azhi said with a smile: "It would be nice to have a younger brother or younger sister for me to play with."

I patted his head and said pretending to be angry: "What are you thinking? Brothers and sisters are not things to play with."

Aji laughed childishly as if he had succeeded in a prank.

I said, "Why do you suddenly ask such a question?"

I don't like children, and I don't plan to have another child on the premise that I already have Azhi.What's more, a child's life is such a fragile and heavy thing, so fragile that it seems that it will die if it is not taken care of properly, and it is so heavy that the person who must bear this life cannot stop breathing.

I was terrified of taking on another life and never thought about having a baby of my own.

Aji hesitated, and said a name.

"Emi..."

I answered blankly, but I didn't expect him to mention Huimei suddenly, and asked in a daze, "What's wrong with Huimei?"

Occasionally when I sat and chatted with Azhi, he would tell me about the Port Mafia, and I would also talk to him about my own affairs.Of course, I didn't tell him what kind of things I had encountered, but I just told Azhi about the people I had encountered.

These people naturally include Huimei, the girl who suffered domestic violence and curled up in my arms covered in bruises and scars. She said in a raving tone, as if she was praying or crying: "Please, If there is a next life, let me be Haruko's child, please..."

It was not long before she died as easily as a snowflake, and a mere stone and a child brought her life to an end that day.

And this incident also made me hate the child who killed Emi, and watched the child's sister die in despair...Since then, I feel that I am no longer qualified to seek happiness.

After hearing what I said about her, Azhi was silent for a long time, and he didn't say anything afterwards.I thought he didn't like to hear such things, so I didn't continue talking.

I didn't expect Aji to mention Emi again, which made me very confused, and Aji's next words made me even more confused.

"Don't you want to give birth to Huimei?" Azhi asked.

"..." I opened my mouth, unable to answer for a while.

I don't know why Aji would ask such a question.Although many people think that two people with such a deep bond must know everything about each other, but everyone is independent, and no one can really know everything about someone.In particular, different growth environments, different ages, and different people you have met will also lead to different thinking directions for the two.

In reality, many things are always beautified infinitely, but it is precisely because there is no way to be perfect that it is called reality.

I'm not a roundworm in Azhi's stomach. Even if I know many things about him, I can't understand all his thoughts and behaviors all the time.

Just like Azhi's words at this time also puzzled me, why did he think so?

Of course, it is precisely because no matter how intimate a relationship is, people cannot fully understand each other, so language and communication are so important.If you don't communicate, it's true that you won't be able to understand each other for the rest of your life.

So I looked into Azhi's eyes and said seriously: "I never had such a thought."

Aji froze for a moment.

I seriously told him what I thought in my heart: "Let's put aside the question of whether or not to have a child, for example, even if I do have a child, I will never give birth to him/her She is the reincarnation of Emi."

Thinking of what happened a long time ago, the pain and despair of the past came back overwhelmingly, making my tongue tingle.Even if time flies and the bloody injuries that have been suffered have turned into pale scars, those pains will not disappear.

I said with a heavy face, "This kind of thing is a kind of self-impressive selfish thought for both Emi and the child?"

"If Huimei is still conscious, she who has been injured too badly may not have any thoughts. But for the child who was born, she was crowned with someone she didn't know at all, and she had never seen before. The shadow of a person, what a hopeless and sad thing. It seems that he/she must live under this shadow for the rest of his life."

"And to me, Emi is just Emi. If she is replaced by a so-called reincarnation, how lonely it would be."

"What's more, I don't believe in reincarnation. People are dead when they die. How can there be reincarnation?" As I said this, I looked down at my clenched hand, which trembled uncontrollably a few times, and said: "When you die, you... have nothing, nothing anymore." As "Haruko", I just happened to be lucky enough to meet Mei when I became a vengeful spirit.The medicine seller who I met a long time ago also told me that there is no heaven or hell in this world, and even the gods have already fallen to pieces.

"And even if there is a reincarnation, the person who has already been reincarnated is not Huimei." I closed my eyes and sighed, and said, "Even if the souls are the same, I know very well that the Huimei I knew died long ago." That day."

Azhi was silent, and after a while, he said, "I took it for granted."

He pursed his lips and said, "Sorry."

"Why do you say sorry?" I asked with a smile, patted him gently, and said, "You have something you don't understand, and I explain it to you, isn't it good communication and exchange?" ?”

"What I mean is..." Azhi lowered his head and said sullenly: "The self-righteous misinterpretation of your thoughts made you have to tear your own scars to explain to me."

I smiled helplessly and said, "I'm fine." It's true that because of Huimei's problem, I tore open the scars of the past.But I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Rather, I'm glad that Azhi was able to ask his confusion.

"It's your point——" Azhi seemed to be unable to bear it, and his voice suddenly increased. After seeing my frightened expression, he lowered his voice and continued: "You are always worried that I won't be able to properly Live, but it's the same for me."

For Aji, it is a bit troublesome to express his inner feelings well.

My Aji is clumsy and timid, and he can play with others with a smile and applause in the face of killing intent, fear, and hatred.It was so bad that those people hated him even more and scolded him as a devil.

Whether it's vicious words, bullets, or fists, they are all useless to him. Even if he is to be killed, Azhi will only laugh wildly and accept his own death contentedly.

But when faced with the kindness and tenderness of others, Azhi would be at a loss like a child, so embarrassed that he wanted to turn around and run away.Aji, who will not be hurt by any sharp weapon or fist, can be easily stabbed by soft cotton.

How funny...and pitiful.

At this time, even though he would be stabbed because of this, he still tried hard to speak out to me what he said in his heart: "I hope you can have your own life-this matter is by no means fake, nor is it true. I forced myself to say the words."

Stumbling, clumsy, and serious, he said word by word: "I... sincerely hope that you can find happiness."

Azhi lowered his head and lowered his eyes, and said in a low voice: "Even if I am no longer the most important existence in your heart, even if you forget my existence and have a new life and child, I hope you will be happy."

"Azhi..." Hearing him say this, I couldn't help murmuring his name.

"Sachiko."

He shook his head, looked up, and looked at me with a pure smile.

"Mom, thank you so much all the time."

"You have been desperately pulling me not to fall, so this time I also hope that you will be happy."

He said softly, almost in a prayerful tone: "As long as I can do that, I will be very happy."

"..." I watched him quietly, and suddenly burst into tears.

"What are you talking about?" I looked at Azhi with tears in my eyes and said softly, "You are my most important child at any time."

Just like Azhi sincerely hopes that I can be happy, and I also sincerely hope that he can be happy.

But no matter what, I do have problems myself. My self-abuse and low self-esteem have deeply hurt Azhi, who wanted me to be happy. talk about his mood.

And all because he cared deeply about me.

So I replied: "Although I still haven't figured out what to do..."

What exactly is "happiness"?What does it look like?What does it feel like?What does it smell like?What does it sound like?What does it taste like?I have no way of knowing all this.

But even so, I had to stumble to find it—for both myself and Azhi to be happy.

I wiped away my tears and said with a smile: "But I make an appointment with you, I will definitely become happy."

"..." Azhi looked at me quietly and laughed. He stretched out his little finger and asked, "Are you ready?"

I couldn't help laughing, and stretched out my little finger to grab him.

"promised."

The two held each other's hands together and kept running towards the far side.

——For us all to be happy.