[HP Doujin] 1943

Asthedeer panteth for the water, as the deer long for the brook

Somy soul long after Thee. My soul longs for you

You alone are my heart's desire, you are my heart's only desire

AndIlongtoworshipThee. I long to admire you

Youalonearemystrengthmyshield, you are my strength and shield

Toyoualonemaymyspirityield. Only you and my soul can bloom

You alone are my heart's desire, you are my heart's only desire

AndIlongtoworshipThee. I long to admire you【15】

The clear and melodious chorus floated over the auditorium, the enchanted ceiling was a solemn iron gray, the torrential rain poured down the tall stained-glass windows, and the hundred candles floating in the air made the four The golden cutlery on the college table is shining brightly.

A short, fat Professor Isaacs sat on a high stool and played an ugly harp.Behind him, students in black school robes stood in three rows, singing the song.

Ada and I stood in the last row singing harmony.Ada suddenly poked me with her arm and winked at the door.

While I was singing, I looked towards the entrance of the auditorium. A tall, slender, slightly thin boy was standing there, looking towards us.The edge of his robe was soaked, and his schoolbag was slanted across his left shoulder. He was holding a book in one hand and a black umbrella dripping water on the floor in the other.

Youalonearemystrengthmyshield, you are my strength and shield

Toyoualonemaymyspirityield. Only you and my soul can bloom

You alone are my heart's desire, you are my heart's only desire

AndIlongtoworshipThee. I long to admire you

Sylvia is one of the three girls who are the lead singer. She stands in the middle of the first row, her black hair is loosely tied into a ponytail, and she holds a music score in her hand. In the auditorium.I opened my mouth and sang the harmony, while looking at Tom Riddle at the door, I accidentally sang a low note, and Professor Isaacs gave me a hard look.

For the Christmas dinner, Professor Isaacs insisted that we practice the chorus in the auditorium every dinner time.As soon as the practice was over, all the girls ran away quickly, some ran to their college desks, and some picked up their schoolbags and went to the library.

"To the common room?" Ada asked me.

"Uh, no," I said, digging through my schoolbag as I walked, "I'm going to astronomy class."

"Oh, yes," she said, "see you later!"

I smiled at her and walked up the steps to the Astronomy Tower, deliberately not looking at Tom standing at the door.

I read about the accident in the Daily Prophet the day after Tom was injured.Five wizards and three witches who were shopping nearby were seriously injured in a vicious explosion in a disused warehouse in Diagon Alley.

"There were extensive traces of the use of ancient black magic at the scene," a Ministry of Magic official revealed, "but when we arrived at the scene, all evidence conducive to the investigation had been cleared away. This was an organized and premeditated operation. We Magicians in London must be called to vigilance."

Although it wasn't mentioned in the newspaper, various rumors were circulating among the students: "Two student-looking figures in black Hogwarts robes were seen apparating together in the warehouse door after the explosion. One of them appeared to be seriously injured and unconscious. But Professor Dippet thinks this is nonsense."

I knew in my heart that if anyone found out that Tom was seriously injured at this time, he would be finished.Abraxas Malfoy, the pointy-faced boy with the buff head, had been going around calling attention to any injured students around him.

"My dad thinks Dippet is old-fashioned," he told a large group of Slytherins and Gryffindors in Potions class. "My dad thinks the testimony of the witness in Diagon Alley is very important. .We all need to be careful. If there is a Hogwarts student who used the ancient dark arts outside the school and escaped back to the school after the explosion, he must be covering his wounds by now!"

"You have to be careful too." Tony said to me worriedly, "Be careful. If you find anyone around you who might be around, tell me right away."

I didn't say anything.No matter what Tom is doing, I believe that as soon as Tony, Malfoy, or Black and the others get hold of him, they will kill him immediately.They were never really friends, they were just followers of a group of interests and power.

Although I haven't spoken to Tom in two weeks since I last left the Room of Requirement, I do notice him in the hallway from time to time.When he was walking, he was not as striding as before. Sometimes he would stop suddenly in the middle of speaking, frowning slightly, as if he was enduring something.

I worry about him all the time.

Because it was raining heavily that night, the astronomy class was changed to an ordinary classroom to teach theoretical knowledge.The noise of the rain splashing on the windows made it almost impossible for me to hear what Professor Andrews was saying.From the corner of my eye, I saw Tom sitting in front of me on the right. His back was straight and his body was stiff. Although his expression was calm, his face was terribly pale, and fine beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.

I opened the notebook, and the quill was spinning in my hand. I felt so fidgety that I couldn't understand a word.

In case Tom was captured by the Ministry of Magic, he would have to tell everyone what he was doing.I imagined the happy faces of Tony and Malfoy, and I thought I should also feel a little bit of revenge, but for some reason, I couldn't be happy at all.

"Miss Bradley?" A dangerous voice rang in my head.I came back to see the magnified, angry face of Andrews, the astronomy professor.

"Can you come back from your daydream and answer my question?" he said sullenly, and I looked up and all the students were looking at me.Carl, Chris, Ada, and several Slytherin students all turned their heads.

I said, "Professor Andrews, it's night and I'm not daydreaming."

I heard Ada gasp.

Mr. Andrews was so angry that his beard was trembling: "Then can you answer my question now, Miss Bradley?"

Ada wrote the question on a piece of parchment and pointed at me behind Mr. Andrews' back.I was so upset that I didn't even want to watch it.

"I didn't hear what the problem was," I said dryly.

"Please describe the characteristics of Ganymede's orbital period."

I crossed my arms and leaned against the back of the chair, not even bothering to open the book: "I don't know."

"Although I am the head of Ravenclaw, I absolutely cannot bear the attitude of the students..." Mr. Andrews roared, "Thirty points will be deducted from Ravenclaw!"

I shrugged nonchalantly, staring at the blank blackboard in front of me and a rusted brass model planet on my desk.

The whole class looked at me dumbfounded, except Tom, who lowered his head silently, as if he didn't notice what happened in the classroom at all.A strand of black hair hung down on his forehead, slightly wet with cold sweat.Except for me and Sylvia, no one else has noticed his abnormality.Several tall boys in Slytherin were sitting lazily in the seats at the back of the classroom, holding books in their hands, and whispering with snickers.

Ten minutes later, the get out of class bell rang.I saw Tom sitting in his seat without moving, looking as if he was still carefully sorting out his notes with his head down.I also dawdled on the seat on purpose.A few Slytherin boys patted him on the shoulder laughingly as they walked away, and every time they patted, my heart sank.

Sylvia also looked worried. She looked at Tom and then at me. She put on her schoolbag and was about to come over when Professor Andrews shouted from above: "Miss Black! If you don't mind, Can you come over? Your paper on venus is brilliant and I've invited two or three 5th graders to come over at nine o'clock and discuss the venus model - that's [-] minutes away - if you're interested in staying and listening Listen? Merlin, I hope it will stop raining later...so we can go up and observe..."

Sylvia didn't seem interested at all, and Professor Andrews looked at her expectantly: "I hope you can participate! Oh, yes, and Mr. Riddle, if you are also interested..."

Tom raised his head and forced a smile: "I have something to do tonight. Sylvia can go. She can tell me the content of the seminar later."

"No problem!" Mr. Andrews said happily, tucking a thick copy of "Advanced Celestial Operations" under his arm, and looked out of the classroom, "Ah, the seventh-grade astronomy students are here. Blake Miss, please sit down first."

"Then I'll go first." Tom said, packing his schoolbag, his fingers a little uncontrollable.Both Sylvia and I looked at him, nervous as hell.At this time, a group of seventh grade students appeared in the corridor. I looked up in horror, and saw the heads of Tony and Malfoy through the window.

I've never been so frightened--the robes flipped when Tom stood up, and I saw that his shirt was bright red with blood at the waist.He lowered his head and buttoned his robe, picked up his schoolbag and walked along the aisle to the door.Walking to the side of the podium, his body shook slightly, knocking over the brass celestial model with a bang.

"Oh, Merlin's beard," said Mr. Andrews, repairing the model with a flick of his wand. "Are you all right, Tom?"

"I'm all right," said Tom, straightening up.He turned his face away from Professor Andrews' sight, coughed, and spat out blood spots, which landed on the robe on his chest.

Tony, Malfoy, and the rest of the seventh graders were already at the door, with a second to go in.

Sylvia covered her mouth, as if preparing for the worst.

Suddenly, a thought flashed through my mind like lightning, I jumped up, with my schoolbag slung over my shoulder, I rushed forward, hugged Tom's neck, and kissed his lips.

A salty bloody smell rushed into my mouth, I suppressed the feeling of nausea, kissed him deeply, closed my eyes, and after about a long minute, I opened them, crossed the Over Tom's shoulder, he saw the stunned Professor Andrews and Sylvia who seemed to be petrified.

I gently opened Tom's lips, and saw a hint of relief and tenderness in his dark and deep eyes.My sudden kiss made his original pale face flushed, and the blood at the corner of his mouth was also wiped away by my kiss.

I turned my face and glanced coldly at Malfoy who was standing in the doorway, and behind him were Tony and the other seventh graders.Several people were poking their heads, trying to see what was happening ahead.

I acted like I just found them at the door, gave them a provocative glance, and said unceremoniously: "What are you looking at, get out of the way!"

Tom put his arm around my shoulder, and I put my arm around his waist, and we walked out of the classroom in full view of everyone.

That night, all eyes were on the minute-long kiss between Tom and me in front of two dozen people, and everyone was terrified.Tom Riddle has always been low-key and cautious in his personal life, and has never had any intimate actions with any girls in public.Everyone only paid attention to our kiss, but no one noticed Tom's sickness covered by flushing and some imperceptible blood stains on the collar of his shirt.

I only made this decision to cover up his wounds and bloodstains, but I didn't expect that from that day on, I became Tom Riddle's girlfriend recognized by the whole school, and this brand followed me all my life.

For the rest of our long lives there existed between Tom, Sylvia, and myself an understanding that required no words to explain.No matter how many internal conflicts we have that can never be eliminated, we will always cooperate seamlessly at critical moments.The three of us are connected to each other in a strange but strong bond, as if we have become one.

Tom and I walked in silence that night to the door of the Room of Requirement.Sylvia, who was following us, caught up and opened the door of the Room of Requirement.As soon as the door closed behind us, Tom grimaced, and Sylvia and I helped him onto the cot.

I rushed to the edge of the sink throwing up and gargling.

"Tom!" Sylvia said anxiously, half kneeling in front of Tom's window, throwing her schoolbag on the ground, "Your wound has opened again?"

He leaned against the head of the bed, sat weakly, closed his eyes, and nodded slightly.

"Is what they said true?" I spat out the water in my mouth, but I could still feel the disgusting taste of blood, "Is it true that someone saw you apparating in Diagon Alley?"

Sylvia turned her face away, avoiding my gaze: "Don't ask, it has nothing to do with you."

I became angry: "Okay, since I don't care about my business, what would you do without me today?"

Sylvia turned to me sharply, her lips quivering with rage.

"Shut up," she said, "before I make you regret it."

I knew it wasn't my words that made her angry, but my long kiss with Tom in front of two dozen people.If it was normal, I wouldn't care about her at this time, but at that moment I was on the verge of a temper tantrum, and my reason couldn't control my mouth at all.

"Oh yeah?" I rolled my eyes at Sylvia and said defiantly, "How can you make me 'regret'? Stop me from kissing Tom again in my life?"

"It's none of my business what you do with Tom!" Sylvia said a dirty word in front of me for the first time, and she was obviously mad at me.

Tom lying on the bed with a pale face, coughed, and said, "Excuse me...can you change the bandage for me first and then continue to argue?"

"Shut up!" Sylvia and I turned to Tom and yelled at him with the same fury.

The corner of Tom's mouth twitched, and he closed his eyes silently.

I didn't look at Sylvia again, and bent over Tom's head with a fluffy pillow.Sylvia quickly brought the sponge, bandage and potion to the bed.She raised her hand to help Tom undo his school robe, but just as he loosened his tie, her hand stopped in the air.

She glanced at me.The long black hair hung down from her left shoulder, setting off her calm and indifferent face, the anger and irrationality just now were gone.

"Come on," she wiped her fair fingers with a towel, and said to me expressionlessly, "soak the sponge with Greenland ice rib algae liquid, clean the wound, stop the bleeding with white moss essence, and replace it with a new one." Bandages, remember?"

I stared at her blankly and nodded.

She didn't look at me again, stood up, turned around and left.I turned my head and glanced at her back, and suddenly there was an indescribable sadness in my heart.

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and knelt in front of the bed, trying to calm down, reaching to unbutton Tom's robe and shirt.When I loosened his tie and unbuttoned his chest one by one, I raised my head inadvertently, and suddenly found that his pair of black eyes were looking at me with a **** expression.

My fingertips trembled, and I helped him stop the bleeding without a word, then wrapped it in a bandage, looked up at him and said, "Is it all right?"

He looked at me quietly without speaking.

I picked up all the remaining bandages and potions and prepared to put them back.But he suddenly grabbed my wrist, I was caught off guard, turned around and sat down in front of his bed, he held me in his arms with one arm, and gently brushed my long hair behind my head with the other hand, it was cold His fingertips grazed my hot cheeks.

My whole body was stiff, and I was so tense that I didn't move.His eyelashes trembled, he closed his eyes gently, and slowly kissed my lips.

In a panic, I subconsciously wanted to step back, but he said softly, "Don't move around."

He took the bandage from my hand and threw it on the floor.I was immersed in the familiar smell of his body mixed with the smell of medicine, and my whole body was trembling slightly.For a while, the room was silent and only the crackling of the fire and the breathing of the two of us could be heard.

He asked gently: "If I tell you the truth, will you hate me for it?"

"I hate you enough already," I said.

"I mean it, Elizabeth," he said gravely.

I turned my head away and didn't speak, a strong depression and sadness welled up in my heart.

It's impossible for me to like him without any grudges.There will always be too many barriers and boundaries between us.He is always so clear-headed that he clearly divides feelings and careers.I can't do this, and neither can Sylvia.

"Okay," he said teasingly, "how can you be serious with a patient."

I glanced at him and remained silent.

"Elizabeth," he said softly, "how about we make a deal? Just give me a kiss and I'll tell you the truth."

I remembered how he was when he was a child.He always turned me around, and then said to me shamelessly: "Elizabeth, just kiss me and I will let you go."

Thinking of this, I bit my lip sadly, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

I miss him so much when I was a child, and I miss me even more when I was a child.We have all changed.We are all children who have lost their way in the river of time. We can only rush forward desperately, and we can never find the way back to the past.

He wiped away my tears with his hand, I bit my lip and looked up at him.His thin face is so familiar and handsome, there are some bloodshot eyes in the dark and deep eyes, and there is no blood on the dry lips.

"I've been doing some experiments," he said quietly. "Since the second grade, Sylvia has been my most powerful assistant. She is very smart and has introduced me to many very important things in the field of the dark arts." Useful friend."

I asked, "What kind of experiment?"

In fact, I already vaguely guessed the answer in my heart.

"Ancient Dark Arts," he said, "are unfathomable and powerful, but much has been lost and abandoned by modern wizards."

"Why did you do these?" I asked incredulously, "Just because you like them?"

"For the nobility and purity of magic," when he said this, a cold light flashed in his eyes, and at that moment, I suddenly felt that he was far away from me, "for my ideals, and For the future I want."

I frowned: "What kind of future do you want?"

"A magical world of pure superiority. It is a supreme ideal beyond money and status, the unfulfilled wish of Mr. Salazar Slytherin 1000 years ago." He said, something in his voice made me shudder, "Elizabeth... I will take you into my future."

I looked at him silently, feeling a sense of bewilderment and fear.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked.

"Because I don't want you to know that I'm doing illegal things," he said, "I don't want you to be my weakness, my weakness. I just want you to stay by my side, and I'll send you the whole world before."

When he said to me "I will send the whole world to you", the expression on his face was unwavering, and his eyes suddenly became stern.Oddly enough, I wasn't moved to tears.On the contrary, I felt that the panic and confusion in my heart were getting stronger and stronger.

I gently pushed him away.

"I don't want it, Tom," I said, very calmly. "I just want a simple and peaceful life. I don't like it...I don't like changing things."

There seemed to be a misty mist in his eyes, which made it impossible for me to see through.He looked at me and said calmly: "When you chose to cover up for me, you have already chosen to be with me. You have to admit, Elizabeth..." He paused, his voice became extremely gentle, "Whether you like it or not, you have to accept everything about me."

I struggled to break free from his arms, stepped back, and looked at him trembling all over.

"You're so obsessed," I told him, "that you've ruined Margaret's and Mytel's lives. I choose to forgive you because I love you, but you treat everyone's devotion to you as a gift." Of course. You are hell, Tom, you are a bottomless black hole, and everyone around you will be sucked into it, smashed to pieces, and lost forever."

Facing my accusation, he didn't seem to object.He leaned on the bed, looked at me leisurely, and said slowly: "Well, Elizabeth, don't be so sure. People's destruction is not because of others, but because of themselves."

After finishing speaking, he continued to lower his head and kiss me, as if he didn't care about the distress and sadness in my heart at all.I raised my head to cater to his passionate kiss, and the words he just said kept echoing in my mind-the destruction of people is not because of others, but because of myself.

Yes, that's right, others are always the incentive, and your own choice is the decisive factor.Choosing to fall in love with Tom Riddle has always been my choice and Sylvia's.He is like a cruel and cold-blooded hunter, looking at us tenderly with a handsome smile, waiting for us to walk step by step towards the deadly trap set by him.

The sad thing is that when I was only 16 years old, I only knew to cherish my love, and I always looked at this cruel and ruthless world with the eyes of a romantic.I think that love can save and restore everything. I think that all people in this world can be influenced. I even really think that God can see my sincerity and dedication.When I finally saw clearly that most of the sincerity in this world was trampled like rubbish, and most of the sacrifices sank into the dirty water like water, everything was irreparable.My life is like a ship on the rocks, the sea water has entered all the water tanks, and there is no way to turn back except to stay where I am and slowly sink into the abyss of death and destruction.

【15】The chorus is taken from the Roman Catholic Sunday Mass hymn "Asthe Deer".