little uncle

Many years later, Wu Siyuan realized that his friendship with Zheng Mingkun ended on the night of graduation, and the entanglements and conflicts in the next ten years were nothing but a long and embarrassing farewell.

Wu Siyuan didn't think about whether he was a natural or not. He only liked Zheng Mingkun in his whole life until he was in his twenties.It was because of him that I determined my sexual orientation for the first time, and it was also because of him that I went to bed for the first time.Zheng Mingkun occupied too many first times in his life. The years he loved Zheng Mingkun even exceeded half of his own life.

When they met for the first time, Zheng Mingkun was at the same table as him. He was born on the sidelines, and he happened to be extremely thin. The two of them seemed to be a perfect match. Sitting together, neither of them felt crowded.

Zheng Mingkun is a forthright person, loves to make friends, and likes to give alms to others, he soon got along with most people in the class, and Wu Siyuan is close to the water, so he is naturally Zheng Mingkun's best friend.

Wu Siyuan is a precocious person with a deeper mind than his peers.He was very surprised at first, why Zheng Mingkun could greet any classmate he met with a smile, and he didn't understand where Zheng Mingkun got so much happiness, so that he couldn't stop laughing every day.So he just imitated Zheng Mingkun's way of dealing with people, being optimistic and cheerful, so that he became a sand sculpture and a showman in the eyes of others.

However, he found that being a person like "Zheng Mingkun" would indeed make him much happier.

At that time, both of them had good grades. They took turns sitting in the first and second classes. They had many friends and the teachers liked them.

They sweated on the court together, and led the basketball team in the class to win the first grade; they chatted together in the classroom; they showed love and sunshine to every classmate, and they turned the class into a human being. Everyone envies...

Those were the most carefree days in Wu Siyuan's life, and also the most simple and happy years in the long suffering of his life.

And when did this simple brotherhood start to deteriorate?

That's right, Pandora's box opened in a clichéd love triangle, nothing more than a drama where he loves her and she loves him.At that time, they were only in the second year of junior high school, and there was a girl in the class who was chasing after Zhou Hongyuan. Wu Siyuan could tell at a glance that Zhou Hongyuan was not interested in that girl, but Zheng Mingkun was interested in this matter. very.At first, Wu Siyuan felt strange, but his strangeness only lasted for a few minutes, and after a few minutes, he understood the fact that Zheng Mingkun liked that girl.

After reaching this conclusion, Wu Siyuan was very annoyed. This emotion came so suddenly that he didn't have time to think about why he was angry.

There was a fire in his heart, which burned him hot and dry. He was angry and helpless. He didn't know how to explain it, let alone how to vent it. Weird indifference.In the eyes of Zheng Mingkun and Zhou Hongyuan, all these unreasonable emotions were nothing but awkwardness.After he understood all this, he felt extremely disappointed.But exactly why he was disappointed, he couldn't say clearly.

Thinking about it, what he needs most is Zheng Mingkun's ability to coax himself.

In the end of this unembarrassing love triangle, no one was with Li Weiyang.In other words, this is just an insignificant episode in their lives. Of course, they can play jokes and fight every day as before, but Wu Siyuan knows that some things have changed long ago, become beyond recognition, and will never return. to once upon a time.

He likes Zheng Mingkun.It's not the love for friends or brothers, but the love that wants to spend a lifetime together.

Of course he struggled, but after the struggle, he admitted.It's not uncommon to like such a person.Some people are destined to be the sun in other people's lives.

Their relationship was fully restored in the third year of junior high school.In other words, Wu Siyuan and Zheng Mingkun were the only ones who needed to restore their relationship.Facing the huge pressure of going to school, Wu Siyuan finally let go of the occasional tension and yin and yang. He learned to compromise and put it aside.

They are red-faced because of a question, they are fighting each other for an exam, they are in their prime, full of enthusiasm for book business, and they have marked their own golden age.

During this year, Wu Siyuan also occasionally did some stupid things, singing "Courage" in KTV, telling Zheng Mingkun half-truth and half-fake love when going out to play, or holding Zheng Mingkun in a nasty way Carefully stroke Ming Kun's hand.

Zheng Mingkun was ignorant of all this, and sometimes, Wu Siyuan didn't even know whether he should be grateful for Zheng Mingkun's ignorance, or hate him.If it weren't for Zheng Mingkun's ignorance, Wu Siyuan would have lost even his closeness as a friend, but it was Zheng Mingkun's ignorance that made him wander in doubts and temptations every day.

The day before the senior high school entrance examination, Zheng Mingkun wrote crookedly on the blackboard, "You are my three years", trying to force Wu Siyuan to tears.

This is his three years, and it is also their three years of intense color.

This is the boy he loves, no matter how hot the weather is, he always sits there as steady as Mount Tai, calm and down-to-earth; The classmates couldn't help laughing.This is the boy he loves, rough and bold, it is the most delicate care.If he is there, he will feel at ease, and when he is there, all impetuousness will disappear.

As Zhou Hongyuan said, he doesn't have to wonder why Wu Siyuan fell in love with Zheng Mingkun who weighed nearly two hundred catties.Some people, no matter how ugly they are, are enough to shine in the lives of others.

On the night of graduation, in the KTV, he finally couldn't hold back and said everything.Maybe it was because the atmosphere was so good that night, maybe it was because the alcohol had paralyzed the brain, he hugged Zheng Mingkun at the toilet door, Zheng Mingkun was startled, patted him on the shoulder as usual, and said, "Okay brother".

Wu Siyuan laughed suddenly, he shook his head and said, "Not brother."

Zheng Mingkun drank as much as Wu Siyuan, his tongue was too big, and his brain couldn't turn around. After hearing this, he thought for a few seconds and asked, "Why are you not a good brother, you are the best brother in my life. "

For some reason, Wu Siyuan's heart broke, and he simply broke the can, "It's not a brother, I like you. I want to be with you."

Zheng Mingkun suddenly woke up from the wine, he looked at Wu Siyuan fixedly, "What do you mean?"

Wu Siyuan drank too much wine and still didn't know the severity, "Mingkun, I like you." As he spoke, he brought Zheng Mingkun back into his arms.

Wu Siyuan was drunk and couldn't stand firmly. He was pushed abruptly by Zheng Mingkun, staggered twice, and fell to the ground. Zheng Mingkun's distraught voice was next to his ears, "Did you lose your mind after drinking?" Then , Zheng Mingkun didn't even look at him, turned around and walked out, but was bumped into his arms by Zhou Hongyuan who was oncoming.

It wasn't until Zheng Mingkun ran away, until Zhou Hongyuan squatted in front of him, that Wu Siyuan vaguely woke up as if from a dream.

Did he still mess up everything?Is he still going to lose the most important boy in his life?But in the last second, they can still be brothers for a lifetime.

After that day, for a long time, Wu Siyuan was unable to speak to Zheng Mingkun.Although they both passed the provincial examination, they are not in the same class. It is such a big school that it is really not easy to meet each other.What's more, after such an experience, what position does Wu Siyuan have to talk to Zheng Mingkun?

During the winter vacation of the first year of high school, Wu Siyuan inexplicably received a message from Zheng Mingkun, saying that no matter what, they were brothers.

Just as Wu Siyuan couldn't let go of Zheng Mingkun, Zheng Mingkun couldn't let go of Wu Siyuan, but although he couldn't let go of his past friendship, he didn't want to, let alone be gay.So I can only avoid intimacy and communication while indulging in past feelings.

In front of Wu Siyuan, Zheng Mingkun has nothing to fear. He will not feel embarrassed, let alone feel embarrassed by his capriciousness. He can be a scum through and through, enjoying his lost friendship while making this inappropriate love Push far away.Wu Siyuan had nothing to do with him, after all, all of this was what he wished for.He was the one who fell in love first, he fell in love with the person he shouldn't love the most, he couldn't get what he wanted, he tossed and turned, the only comfort that was better than nothing was the only flame in his gloomy life.

After finishing high school, Zheng Mingkun's grades were not as good as before.He was very anxious and lost a lot of weight.If you meet someone you don't know well, you might not recognize them.Gradually, even his temper and character changed a lot, adding a bit of gloom to his temperament.

Wu Siyuan was very distressed, so he had no choice but to take Zheng Mingkun.

They have never been together, but they are doing more ambiguous things than being together.They waited for each other after school, one after the other, bypassing all eyes, wandering in the dark woods, they shuttled around the corners of the city on weekends, holding hands in unknown corners, they even stood in the sky On the wheel, in the KTV, behind the bookshelves in the library, exchange a hasty and awkward kiss.

Wu Siyuan loves frankly, and he has never had anything to do with Zheng Mingkun, so he has to accept everything from him.

Later, they participated in competition training together in Beijing and lived with Zhou Hongyuan and Qin Yiming whom they met.Wu Siyuan took the opportunity to ask the question he had always wanted to ask, "What university do you miss?"

Wu Siyuan never dared to discuss this topic with Zheng Mingkun.Zheng Mingkun's studies are now much harder than before, and he failed the exams one after another, which made him unable to straighten up, and his body became thinner and thinner.Under such circumstances, on weekdays, how dare Wu Siyuan ask, what school do you miss?

Wu Siyuan finally heard a sentence from Zheng Mingkun's mouth, "I want to come to Beijing to study".Oh, so he wanted to study in Beijing.So, Wu Siyuan also said, I also want to come to Beijing to study.

Unlike Qin Yiming, who was all about making money, Wu Siyuan had no interest in making money. What he liked, apart from Zheng Mingkun, was only physics.Well, Beijing is not bad either. Both BIT and Beihang University are top schools.He was so excited thinking about it in his heart.

In junior high school, Zhou Hongyuan always felt that Zheng Mingkun and Zhou Hongyuan were very similar, both cheerful and lively, as bold and generous, but now he discovered that the two of them had never had the same personality.One makes a mask for himself, the other follows suit.When one person's mask is shattered, the other's happiness is also gone.

Zheng Mingkun studied very hard, and stayed in the classroom until the early morning every day, with pimples popping out one after another on his face, but the harder he worked, the more anxious he became, the more anxious he was, the more unbalanced he became, the more If it is out of balance, you can only lose everything.

Zheng Mingkun lost his name to Sun Shan in the competition, and there is no hope of self-enrollment, and his studies have reached the most difficult time. Not only did he not improve, but he also failed repeatedly.Not only that, the rumors about him and Wu Siyuan gradually spread in the school, and they realized that they are not in the same class, but go home together every day, and go to the small woods specially, this kind of ambiguous and unique The awkward relationship is too weird for two boys.

Wu Siyuan heard these rumors, Zhou Hongyuan heard them, and finally, another party involved, Zheng Mingkun, also heard them.Wu Siyuan knew how much Zheng Mingkun cared about what others thought of him, so he was so scared for a moment that he didn't even have the courage to find Zheng Mingkun and ask him a question.

Zheng Mingkun never contacted Wu Siyuan again, and Wu Siyuan didn't dare to take the initiative to appear in front of Zheng Mingkun.

Later, Wu Siyuan heard about Zheng Mingkun's love affair. The other party was a girl who was really cute.

Wu Siyuan felt hopeless.He didn't even have the position to question the boy, the boy who held his hand and kissed his lips.

After the model ended, Zheng Mingkun fell to No. 20 in the class unprecedentedly, and he broke up with that girl.On the day of the breakup, he waited at the stairs that Wu Siyuan had to pass every day. The two of them never said a word, like countless days and nights where they couldn't figure out the way, one after the other, separated by a long distance, turning around. Into the dark woods.

Zheng Mingkun never said anything, and Wu Siyuan didn't know how to ask anything.

Zheng Mingkun walked halfway, and suddenly stopped moving. He took out the math paper in his bag and spread it out in Wu Siyuan's hands.

They sat side by side on the stone bench, without any extra words. Wu Siyuan was holding a paper, his hands were shivering with cold, and he wrote a series of calculation formulas on the paper from time to time, explaining the train of thought in detail. Tell Zheng Mingkun.

Until the college entrance examination, they maintained such a relationship. There was no showdown, and there was no explanation. It was just one's intentional use and the other's acceptance.

After the college entrance examination, Wu Siyuan was admitted to BIT as he wished.At that time, he hadn't contacted Zheng Mingkun for a long time.One summer vacation, he lived in a muddle. He didn't know until the eve of the start of school that Zheng Mingkun didn't report to the school in Beijing.

That day, Wu Siyuan didn't fall asleep all night, and the next day, he boarded the train going north.

For Wu Siyuan, life in BIT is no different from high school.After leaving Zheng Mingkun, he completely changed back to his original appearance, dull and alienated.

I saw Zheng Mingkun again during the summer vacation of my sophomore year. At that time, Zheng Mingkun sat in a green leather car all night and appeared at the school gate of Bili.Wu Siyuan was struggling with a difficult problem in the library, and the moment he received a call from Zheng Mingkun, he dropped the pen in his hand.Before he had time to pick up his pen, he hung up the phone and ran towards the school gate, and there was a tall and strong man standing at the school gate, smiling at him.

Wu Siyuan only felt that his heart missed a few beats. He wanted to call Zheng Mingkun, but no sound came out.Zheng Mingkun unexpectedly didn't shy away from anything, rubbed his hair and said, "I'll come and see you."

Just like the time in the third year of high school, there was no explanation, no preface and afterword, and they got entangled again.It was summer vacation, and Wu Siyuan's roommates were gone, so Zheng Mingkun lived in Wu Siyuan's dormitory directly. The two studied together during the day, and played and slept together at night.

Two hot-blooded young men with such an ambiguous relationship naturally inevitably misfired. The day after Zheng Mingkun came to look for Wu Siyuan, they did it once on Wu Siyuan's bed. There was no lubrication and no skill. , with obvious unfamiliarity with same-sex sexual behavior, that night, Wu Siyuan bled a lot, flowing down his thigh indistinctly.Zheng Mingkun panicked suddenly, he hastily withdrew from Wu Siyuan's body, neither of them had much interest left.

Later, Wu Siyuan found out that Zheng Mingkun wanted to be a graduate student of BIT.It was also from that day that Wu Siyuan gave up the idea of ​​going abroad in his heart and stayed in the school with all his heart.

After school started, Zheng Mingkun left.This time, their contact has not been broken, and they have to make phone calls almost every day, which has nothing to do with Fengyue, but it has already made Wu Siyuan feel at ease.Sometimes, Wu Siyuan knew in his heart that Zheng Mingkun was using him, but he loved the frankness and didn't care about being used by his lover.

Their relationship lasted until the eve of the postgraduate entrance examination, and suddenly one day, Zheng Mingkun disappeared from the world again.Wu Siyuan was a postgraduate student, but he didn't dare to delay Zheng Mingkun's time. He didn't take the train back to J City until the postgraduate entrance examination was over.

Wu Siyuan never went to S Province Architecture University to look for Zheng Mingkun. When he showed up in Zheng Mingkun's dormitory, Zheng Mingkun's roommate told him that Zheng Mingkun didn't take the postgraduate entrance examination at all.

Wu Siyuan was spinning.He didn't know what happened this time.What's more, they didn't know that the parting at Beijing Station more than a year ago would be the last time they saw each other.

Wu Siyuan returned to Beijing in a daze, and lived his life as usual, doing experiments, doing scientific research, and waiting for the start of graduate school.

It was not until two years later that Wu Siyuan secured his doctorate from the school that Zheng Mingkun appeared in front of him again.At that time, he had already let go of his infatuated love in the past, and he didn't want anything anymore.Zheng Mingkun's hasty explanation fell on Wu Siyuan's ears and turned into an unreal buzzing.

Wu Siyuan didn't even want to listen to Zheng Mingkun's eager explanation, he just felt that everything was extremely boring.

He waved his hands, his voice was as light as his expression, and he said to the man in suits and leather shoes in front of him, "Forget it, let's just forget it. I'm also very sad that Auntie is gone. But you may be mistaken, between us , has it started?"

If you haven't started before, why start from scratch?

Only now did Wu Siyuan realize that his friendship with Zheng Mingkun ended on the night of graduation, and the entanglements and conflicts in the next ten years were nothing but a long and embarrassing farewell.

What they need is never a reunion, but a decent full stop.