little uncle

Cheng Yu raised his head, stared into Zhou Hongyuan's eyes, and said word by word, "As an elder, I used to love you very much, and my love for you may be many times more than your parents."

Every time Cheng Yu said one more word, Zhou Hongyuan's waist bent a little, he seemed to understand what Cheng Yu was going to say next, and this long pause seemed to be the most terrifying waiting before the execution.

The knife of fate finally fell, Cheng Yu's voice was very soft but heavy, "But, as a man, I'm sure I don't like you."

Zhou Hongyuan suddenly raised his head as if masochistic, he wanted to see clearly Cheng Yu's expression at the moment, whether it was cruel and ruthless coldness, or the kindness of pity for all beings, the pleasure of revenge, or the indifference without sorrow or joy.But he couldn't see anything, Cheng Yu's eyes were like a sea of ​​water, he couldn't see the end, he couldn't see the edge.

Zhou Hongyuan felt a chill in his heart, he couldn't help shivering twice in the summer, as if he wanted to pull out a forced smile, but in the end he was powerless.He is obviously the most hypocritical one, he is obviously a person who can smile even in the face of the most disgusting nepotism and black sheep, but at this moment, he can't even give the simplest and most perfunctory smirk.Facing Cheng Yu, Zhou Hongyuan completely lost the indestructible heart that everyone praised, and with all his armor removed, he was just a poor man who was fascinated and dreamed of.

After finishing speaking, Cheng Yu's eyes became a little weird. He looked into Zhou Hongyuan's eyes and asked, "Don't you know what kind of person I like?"

Zhou Hongyuan lowered his head, he stared at Cheng Yu's gray slippers, his eyes widened and he refused to let tears fall, "I, I..."

Of course Zhou Hongyuan knew what kind of person Cheng Yu liked.He likes virtuous ones, who can cook good dishes, and can take care of their husbands and children; he likes gentle ones, with a non-aggressive face, preferably soft and boneless.How could Zhou Hongyuan not know?The him who used to be like a voyeur, followed the clues on the computer to find Cheng Yu's unknown hobbies;Even if he had no way of finding out the whole picture of Cheng Yu, how could he not know the details that he cared most about, these private worlds that Cheng Yu hadn't deliberately concealed?

Zhou Hongyuan thought that he was probably crazy and stupid to ask such a question.And I am one of the most stupid idiots in the world, so I still have a glimmer of hope until now.This is what it is like to love someone. One moment you think you have the courage and strength to fight against the world, but the next moment, maybe it’s just a word, or maybe it’s just a gap in the eyes, and those courage and strength can disappear.

Cheng Yu lived his life aboveboard, so naturally he couldn't make fun of his sexuality and love to belittle others. On the contrary, he still felt a little guilty and owed in this matter. Province S is conservative, and Cheng Yu has never had an openly gay comrade around him, and he has no intention of prying into other people's privacy.Because of Zhou Hongyuan's sexuality, he deliberately learned about homosexuality in newspapers and on the Internet.But even though he already knew a lot about homosexuality, there was still a voice in Cheng Yu's heart that kept telling himself that maybe it was his connivance to Zhou Hongyuan, and it was precisely because of his slowness and evasion that Zhou Hongyuan would leave completely. Take this road that is neither understood by the world nor accepted by the law.In the early years, Cheng Yu always hoped that he could be a perfect parent, and tried his best to provide Zhou Hongyuan with the best everything within his ability, whether it was material or companionship.But life is made up of countless things that backfire. As a parent, it is also the first time for him. He has made many mistakes, and there is no chance to make up for them.Thinking of this, Cheng Yu rubbed the center of his brows wearily, sighed, and said kindly, "Let me go, and yourself too. You will have a lover, and so will I."

How shrewd Zhou Hongyuan is, when he quickly caught the next moment when Cheng Yu still had no partner, most of his wounded heart immediately recovered. Rationally, he knew that most of Cheng Yu's singleness was due to his academic pursuit. , At the same time, it is normal for graduate students and PhD students in China to be poor, and it is difficult to start a family.What's more, Zhou Hongyuan knew that even if Cheng Yu didn't have a partner now, he would not accept him easily.But emotionally, Zhou Hongyuan was still very excited by this discovery, his heart was "thumping", as if this hopeless love had taken shape.

Zhou Hongyuan took Cheng Yu's hand again, "Uncle, uncle, I don't ask you to accept me, nor do I ask you to forgive me, can you give me one more chance at last, let me atone for my sins, let me make up for it..."

Cheng Yu's heart was in a mess. During this period of time, he had already said all the harsh and ugly words, no matter how much he blamed, he was already unwilling to say it, and it was meaningless to say too much, and he would not be able to say it.He has always been lenient towards others and strict with himself. Although he couldn't say forgiveness to Zhou Hongyuan, he was already tired and tired at this time. He couldn't forgive, but he didn't want to see Zhou Hongyuan suffering in such a humble posture again. I begged myself.He didn't hate Zhou Hongyuan any longer, what he wanted and wanted was nothing more than a simple forgetting about each other.You walk your Yangguan Road, I cross my single-plank bridge, you have your feasting, and I have my food, vegetables and drinking water.Cheng Yu is getting older, and he doesn't want to bother to hate someone. He doesn't agree with each other when he disagrees. Now he just wants to live a peaceful life.

"Uncle... let me treat you well once."

"I don't need your forgiveness, and I don't need you to respond to my feelings. Just treat me as if I want to make amends, and let me treat you nicely."

Cheng Yu's heart trembled slightly.It has to be said that Zhou Hongyuan's words perfectly grasped Cheng Yu's weakness.To some extent, Cheng Yu and Zhou Hongyuan are very similar, they are both victims of their original families, except that Cheng Yu used excessive kindness and even weakness to make up for his childhood, while Zhou Hongyuan used layers of vanity and philistine as the shell closed childhood.Essentially, they are all spending their entire lives healing childhood.

Did it work?No one can tell.Many times, even Cheng Yu himself felt that he had no childhood shadows, no matter how painful the first few years were, it was just an old dream of childhood, not to mention that he had a mother who loved him as much as his life.But those scars never disappear because of people's contempt, they are there, meandering, lurking, waiting for an opportunity to break you.Many times, Zhou Hongyuan, who is about 1.8 meters tall, would disdain to admit his own shadows. At his age, it is always hypocritical to say these things, but those little habits that he has never noticed, the insidiousness and selfishness carved into his bones , are relics of an out-of-control and even tragic family relationship.

After all, they are all people who lack love.Because of lack of love, Zhou Hongyuan fell in love with his uncle who was willing to give everything for him. Because of lack of love, Cheng Yu was willing to exchange his life for Zhou Hongyuan's happiness and peace.Many times, Zhou Hongyuan couldn't understand Cheng Yu, his inexhaustible kindness and inexhaustible tolerance, and his almost weak self-sacrifice. However, from another level, Zhou Hongyuan understood Cheng Yu very well. Cheng Yu's.He knew that no one cared more about family affection than Cheng Yu, and no one wanted to be loved more than Cheng Yu, so he knew how to handle Cheng Yu too well.

Of course Cheng Yu wanted someone to treat him well.He is used to the role of taking care of others. His mother was sick and he had to take care of her. Later, he brought Zhou Hongyuan back, and he had to take care of her from time to time. At work, he would help his colleagues whenever he could.He never dared to trouble others, but always tried his best to trouble others.Falling in love, he is willing to give everything he can, but due to various factors, he has no good results.He is 39 years old, and he has been in a precarious state so far. Apart from his mother who died young, the only one who can be called good to him is Li Rui, a college classmate.He really needs someone to love him.He never wanted to think about this, let alone admit it, but Zhou Hongyuan saw it steadfastly.

Sensibility preceded rationality, Cheng Yu's heart was undoubtedly moved, and after a moment's wavering, there was a deeper resistance.He hated this self who had no position and no principles, and there was an unnatural toughness in his voice, "You don't need to be nice to me, I'm doing fine by myself."

He is indeed living a good life. He has a doctorate degree, is engaged in his favorite scientific research work, owns two houses in a second-tier city, and although there is not much money left in his savings, he still receives monthly rent and various subsidies. Living comfortably, he even bought a car. Although he doesn't drive it often, it has greatly improved his living standard.All in all, there wasn't even much of a gap in love. I had just broken up with my ex-girlfriend for two years, and there were many suitors around me. It was just because I hadn't stabilized yet and I didn't want to delay her.Cheng Yu doesn't have too much pursuit of material things. He is very satisfied with such a life. Compared with living in the outer suburbs where there was no heating in winter and no air conditioning in summer, his life now is much better.He wants nothing more.

But is this good enough?Is this all he wants?

He returned to the room in a chaotic state. In the darkness, there was a roar in his heart, and some kind of ** was about to burst out of his body. How much he wanted, how much he wanted someone to love him, love him, and treat him well. .How much he wanted to be put on the apex of his heart, and how much he wanted to be protected by others.

It wasn't until the middle of the night that Cheng Yu gradually calmed down.He kept asking himself whether he was crazy, and was easily seduced by Zhou Hongyuan's few words. Could it be that he himself didn't understand what kind of person Zhou Hongyuan was?Isn't it enough that I have suffered from Zhou Hongyuan?His remorse is only superficial, and his affection can't be true. Some people are treacherous and cunning in their bones, and seeking fame and fortune is the main theme of their lives.

Cheng Yu couldn't help letting out a cold snort, thinking in his heart, what doesn't need to be forgiven, what doesn't ask for a response, what is said is better than singing, isn't it superficial and hidden?It's one thing to be able to say it, but another thing to be able to do it. How can a person like Zhou Hongyuan whose credibility has been reduced to zero have the qualifications to negotiate with him?

Thinking of this, Cheng Yu couldn't help being a little annoyed. Some people not only didn't improve their cooking skills, but even their brains didn't improve at all, and they thought they were young people in their twenties.Cheng Yu angrily buried her head in the quilt and fell asleep.

The author has something to say:

It's already [-]:[-] in the morning, I'm too sleepy, good night.