The Daily Life of Wizards [British and American]

Seems like a sign.

After Hogwarts hired a Muggle professor, Diagon Alley became more and more Muggle-infested.

Especially in the first few weeks of the school season, all kinds of Muggles have been entering Diagon Alley in the name of accompanying their children.

However, what is different from the past is that these 'parents' did not just visit and leave, they began to frequent Diagon Alley.

They all expressed enthusiastically: The wizarding world is really wonderful!We love the wizarding world so much!

Most wizards, who have no ill will towards Muggles, are proud of the situation.Some friendly wizards, like the Weasleys, will enthusiastically lead the Muggles to visit Diagon Alley.

Until one day, a Muggle, a handsome young man named Eggsy, suddenly opened a 'kingsman' handmade suit shop on the first floor of the Black Building in Diagon Alley. [Note 1] Ignore those shop assistants, the shop manager, wearing black-rimmed glasses, looks refined, wearing a snow-white shirt and a tight waistcoat, with a perfect waistline.

He will carefully measure the guests with a tape measure, and his actions are polite and quick, which will not make the guests feel unhappy or embarrassed (of course, his handsome appearance is also a major reason why people don't feel annoying).Although wizards are very unaccustomed to the "can't move by themselves" tape measure, if the person in charge of the measurement doesn't hate it, he will discuss with the guests in a polite tone the fabric of the suit, the style of buttons, the style of pocket flaps, The particularity of the lining, whether the slit or the lapel, and what kind of stitches to use seem to be trivial, but actually have great significance, and the tension and discomfort are quickly relieved.

"A suit is the armor of a modern gentleman." The store manager said seriously.

The way he speaks is almost pious, and no matter what profession, even a tailor, if he has achieved the extreme to the point of pious, it is worthy of everyone's admiration.

Many ordinary wizards came to order a suit with the intention of trying something new (after all, wizard robes in the wizarding world have been worn for hundreds of years).

The process is still a little difficult and embarrassing (because the store manager will directly point out their hunchback, lumbar disc herniation caused by irregular standing posture, the shape of the spine, whether the head is usually crooked, and even if the elbow is bent It is embarrassing to measure), but after they put on the well-fitting clothes, they will find that this treatment is simply royal.

What does a well-fitting suit look like?

He is not only that you can wear it, it looks neat, and it is enough if it is not too big or too small.Rather, it makes you feel comfortable, like the second skin of the human body, which does not hinder your various movements at all, and makes you feel at ease as if you are back in the arms of your mother.

And, completely show your personal style.

"Do you know? How detailed is that store manager's question!" A wizard who had been to this store curiously sighed.

Then he lowered his head and whispered to everyone: "He actually asked me whether I usually put the penis on the left side of the zipper or on the right side." [Note 2] All the wizards who heard his words were taken aback for a moment, and then Haha laughed, "Isn't this too exaggerated?"

"Not at all, you can't imagine how detailed and complicated it is..." the wizard continued to sigh.

However, despite this, he still couldn't help blushing and said, "Even if the price is expensive, the process is cumbersome. But after wearing clothes of this quality, I feel that my whole person is completely new, as if I was born again. And the clothes , I feel like I can wear it for 20 years and never go out of style.”

In fact, when this usually scruffy wizard reappeared in front of his friend in that well-made suit, he looked refreshed, full of energy, and even a little bit of personable, which made his friend They immediately raised the desire to also run to order a set.

A lot of wizards talk about the Muggle shopkeeper, and the witches generally say 'it's a pity he doesn't do women's clothing.But he speaks very funny and interesting, and behaves like a gentleman, we are still willing to go to his shop just to chat. '

And the wizard is mostly love-hate: "My mother never knew my body so well."

Although they also fell in love with custom-made suits (very few men refuse the charm of suits), the process of ordering is really embarrassing.

Sirius also went to join in the fun, but the remarks he made had nothing to do with suits.

He just thought about it, and said to Daniel: "This kid, why does he look like that Muggle professor is printed out of the same mold?"

Daniel had to admire his bestial instincts again.

But he didn't want to tell Sirius about the complicated matter that the two people were from the same secret service organization, and they probably had a teacher-student relationship with each other. He just shrugged and replied perfunctorily: "Because they are all Muggles!"

Yes, they're all Muggles.

Soon, a tornado named Muggle swept across Diagon Alley.

Hogwarts has a Muggle professor, and Diagon Alley has a Muggle-owned suit shop... By the way, a while ago there was another beautiful woman who called herself Lancelot and came to open a women's clothing store. The store is already under construction.

At the same time, Daniel's entertainment company made a big splash about casting, saying that they would film the history of wizards, the stories of Merlin and King Arthur.

The change was so sudden that many of the Slytherins didn't react.

By the time they realized it, a strange coexistence of wizards and Muggles had already appeared in Diagon Alley, which connected the world of wizards and the world of ordinary people, and it was extremely prosperous.

For example, some cautious nobles, such as the wizarding families headed by Malfoy and Parkinson, who have some conflicts of interest with Daniel, still barely maintain a stance of watching with cold eyes. They just kept probing with words when they met Daniel. the other party's purpose.

However, for those standard pure-blood paranoiacs, such as the former Death Eater Patriarch Nott, they can no longer bear this situation.

"We have to drive Muggles out of our world." The Nott family said to a group of people from the same pure-blood family.

Since the establishment of the wizarding world, the Nott family has been persistently pursuing pure blood.One of his ancestors once published a book called "The List of Pure Bloods", which fairly listed all the pure blood families in the wizarding world.

(It also contains the surname Weasley, but Mr. Weasley has always hated his family to appear in such an obvious 'blood discrimination' book, and he has always expressed strong protest against it. For this reason, he also publicly Proudly claim to have Muggle ancestry in their family.)

"How do we do it?"

"Deport them, or kill them."

"But, Nott, we're going to be arrested by the Aurors..."

"Shut up, coward, we are wizards!" Nott was as cold as a poisonous snake, staring at the wizard who raised objections.

"Just to kill a few Muggles, are you so bad that you'd give away your identity even if you got rid of a few Muggles? Go in, get them some Avadas, Cruciatus, and then we'll retreat, that's all Simple!"

So, everyone shut up.

However, what they didn't expect was that the people they were going to deal with were indeed Muggles, but they were not ordinary Muggles, but the most elite team under the command of the British government, the Kingsman.

Mr. Agent who is fully armed (including a big black umbrella that can be bulletproof and can be used as a pistol, an electric shock device, wearing Oxford shoes that can eject poisonous blades, a lighter-shaped grenade, a watch that shoots poison needles, etc.) Ladies, when faced with the wizards who underestimated the enemy and just wore a black cloak, they acted foolishly and aboveboard like robbers, rushing into the shop roughly and trying to attack, the situation was really tragic.

"We were attacked!"

The long-haired beauty known as Lancelot made a pitiful expression. Unfortunately, a wizard who was stunned by her with an electric shock device is still lying next to her high heels.

"This is terrible. I want to call the police. How do you report to the police in the wizarding world? Are you looking for an Auror?"

The little handsome guy in the suit shop also had a flustered expression on his face, clamoring to complain about the Ministry of Magic's connivance with wizards and the inaction of the Aurors... However, there were several bloody wizards lying in his shop. He didn't show much mercy.

The newly appointed Director of Magical Law Enforcement rushed to the 'scene of the crime' in such a mess.

The new director is a middle-aged wizard named Savage.

He could barely be regarded as Fudge's direct descendant. He came from an ordinary wizarding family, Hufflepuff House, and belonged to a rare neutral member in the Ministry of Magic.

Due to the strict law enforcement of the predecessor Batty Sr., it caused a huge rebound from the nobles.

After he took office as the director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, he obviously relaxed his methods a lot. He spent most of his time imitating Minister Fudge's appearance and muddling. When encountering most things, he resolved them peacefully if he could, and reconciled privately if he could reconcile privately. .

And this Diagon Alley incident can be called the most serious incident since he took office.

In wizarding logic, his first reaction was 'Why don't these Muggles get an Oblivion Charm?Wouldn't the matter be easily resolved? '

Then, following the eyes of the Aurors, he noticed that the current Patriarch of Black standing in front of the Muggles—Mr. Daniel Black.

"Little Mr. Black, what are you doing here?" Savage asked politely.

Although the reputation of 'Little Black' in the wizarding world is more inclined to adjectives such as kind, friendly, and amiable.But he didn't forget that it was this guy who directly or indirectly caused his former director, Old Batty, to take the blame and resign.Therefore, although I am not afraid of the other party, I don't want to get into trouble.

"Can't you see?" Daniel looked serious, and with a big black umbrella, he pointed at the wizards lying on the ground, and said in a suppressed and angry voice, "These terrorists attacked my shop last night. And my staff. Is this how the Ministry of Magic treats taxpayers? Should we be left with no protection when attacked and have to stand up and fight on our own?”

"Terrorist?" Savage's pupils constricted slightly when he noticed the wizard's standard Death Eater attire.

In fact, before he came, he had received part of the news, which was probably a prank played by a group of wizards who couldn't understand Muggles. '

This kind of thing is very common, mostly in Muggle society.

According to the wizard's previous thinking mode, the correct progress should be: the prank was successful, and the Muggle was treated miserably.

So, the Aurors set out to check the situation, punish the wizard appropriately according to the seriousness of the plot, and then forget the Muggles, and everything returned to normal.

However, the current situation obviously cannot be carried out in accordance with the normal resolution steps.

First of all, this group of idiot wizards couldn't beat Muggles, the attack failed, and they were caught on the spot; secondly, the damned Patriarch Black actually protected Muggles (Is there anything more ridiculous than this? He once claimed to clean up the wizarding world , the Black family, who wanted to kill even the half-breeds, actually went to protect the Muggles); finally, at dawn, what happened did not happen in Muggle society, but happened in Diagon Alley.All wizards, all people have seen it all.

Not far away, the reporters who heard the news had already started snapping pictures.

It is conceivable that in less than 10 minutes, various newspapers will appear in the wizarding world, and then, from various angles, they will tell about this 'conflict between wizards and Muggles'.

Director Savage had a headache and predicted that this would be the biggest workplace crisis since he took office as the director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

As for the more serious 'Death Eaters' problem, after he came back to his senses, he has directly ruled out this idea, because...

Don't be funny, it must be a fake. Are there any Death Eaters who can't beat Muggles?

The author has something to say: I know that there is a discussion point in this chapter, which is the issue of wizards and Muggle force.But the author expresses here that I do not plan to examine this question too much.

The setting of this article is to transform the wizarding world. If wizards are really that powerful, there is nothing to say or write.So, that's the setup.

You can understand it this way: if you think wizards are weak, it means that the author has lowered the ability of wizards; if you think it is unreasonable for Muggles to defeat wizards, it means that the author has cheated Muggles. (Although in my mind, I always feel that even if it is the original book, untrained wizards still can't beat trained agents equipped with black technology, but I don't intend to discuss this controversial point. Different people have different opinions.)

[Note 1] This character is from the same movie "Kingsman" as the Muggle professor Harry Hart in the previous chapter. You can Baidu Encyclopedia. A very stylish (pretentious) special agent team under the government's McCoff will do, with extraordinary skills, plus excellent weapons and equipment, and various black technologies.Also, their code names are King Arthur and the 12 Knights of the Round Table.

[Note 2] What I saw when I checked the suit information before was the real situation, but I really don’t remember the source, it’s not the author’s own thought, so mark it down.