coward

His name is Li Xiluo.

He hates his name.

Today is his first day back to school.

An hour ago, he had just jumped off the wall from the northwest corner of the playground, and now he was wandering in the street outside the school.

Without him, person Y is too biased, just like the suburbs. "Fuck! What a shitty place! There's not even a place to eat outside the school..."

Li Xiluo took a deep breath and rubbed her hands, her breath filled with white mist.He pulled the zipper of the down jacket to the top, and stretched out another hand to put the hat on.

The weather is dry and cold, and the weeds on the roadside are lodging randomly, like boundless blue-gray crawling at the feet, and the end of the street without people can be seen.

bother.

Li Xiluo shrunk her neck, kicked the pebbles and went back to the northwest corner of the school playground. She took out a cigarette from her pocket, fumbled up and down, inside and out, and finally found the lighter. After lighting it a few times, it still couldn't light up. .

"Go to his grandma's!" The lighter was thrown into the dry grass beside Li Xiluo, and he brushed his slightly curly hair with an annoyed expression on his face.

Five minutes later, in the northwest corner of Y's campus, a handsome long-haired guy was rummaging through the weeds, pawing and cursing unceremoniously.Not long after, the handsome man with long hair stood up and kicked the soda can that had been pulled out.

Li Xiluo squatted back to the corner, with his back against the wind, gathered the fire, and finally lit the cigarette.

He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled the smoke.Blue smoke lingered and climbed onto Li Xiluo's face, his eyes were half closed, the ends of his wide eyes were slightly raised, and he couldn't tell the expression.

The winter in December was extremely harsh, and the smoke trembled from the lips, trembling in the cold wind, and it was fleeting.

Li Xiluo stared at the pebbles at his feet in a daze.It wasn't until a cloud of ashes fell on his shoes that he regained his composure and stretched out his hand to flick off the soot adhering to the shoe.The soot that was flicked off was blown by the wind and rolled down into the weeds.

He squatted in the corner for a long time.

I want to move.

I don't want to move at all.

As the dusk fell, the birds fluttered to the tree fork's nest, the dusk crow was dumb, begging for mercy during the day and being swallowed up by the darkness, Li Xiluo stood up, sighed, stomped his feet, and jumped over the wall.

Just as he avoided the iron point on the iron railing wall and jumped down if he was not careful, he caught a glimpse of a moving thing in the corner of his eye.

A pale face appeared in the corner.

Li Xiluo took a deep breath, "c..."

Before he could finish speaking, he staggered and fell down.He endured the fire and prepared to stand up, and finally looked up to see the person in the corner clearly.

Tsk. Person Y's school uniform is not ordinary ugly.

This was Li Xiluo's first thought when he saw that man.

That person was obediently wearing Person Y's huge and ugly red and black winter school uniform, with the zipper pulled up to the top.He lowered his head and shrank in the corner of the wall, but he couldn't see his face clearly.A piece of red rope on the left wrist is particularly conspicuous in the dim twilight.At this moment, he seemed to be startled by a person falling from the wall, and was looking up at him slightly.

do not know.

The two looked at each other.

Really sad and embarrassing.Especially Li Xiluo.He climbed over the wall and was so frightened that he fell headlong in front of the person.

Gee.

The person in the corner didn't speak, just glanced down at the words in his hand, and there was no expression on his face, Li Xiluo felt a little annoyed.Standing up and walking, just as I lifted my foot, a heart-rending pain came from my foot.

Li Xiluo cursed.

He sprained his ankle.

I was numb when I was squatting outside the wall just now, and I was not in the mood to pay attention to it, and I didn't care when I climbed over the wall.But the embarrassment and ankle pain just now seemed to have stirred up Li Xiluo's emotions, tore his patience, and made his irritability and anger overflow, with nowhere to hide.He ignored the person in the corner behind him, turned around ruthlessly and staggered away.

"What kind of broken school is this! That person must be sick! Squatting in a corner in the cold!" Li Xiluo squatted down slowly, and heaved a sigh of relief by pressing his ankle that had begun to swell.

No broken bones.

Yep, another week.

A dirty word vacated.

Li Xiluo was so disgusted that she suppressed her anger and went back to the dormitory directly.

……

The setting sun was completely swallowed up by the darkness. In the northwest corner of Y-person's playground, Li Qinghe looked in the direction of the dormitory, opened his mouth, but finally said nothing, his hands curled up in his school uniform were trembling slightly.

……

When Li Qinghe ran up to the fifth floor, the bell had already rang for self-study in the first quarter, and he hurried into the classroom.

The head teacher was already standing at the door, and was a little surprised when he saw him.Li Qinghe took a breath, returned to the third row of seats on the right side of the classroom against the wall, packed up his homework, and stood in the corridor outside the classroom.

Class [-] is not allowed to be late.

The class teacher Zhang Chunhua glanced at him, but went back to the office without saying a word.

Li Qinghe held a thick round of innovative designs, plus a few papers, and stood in the corridor with his head bowed to write.

The weather was very cold, Li Qinghe rubbed his hands with a sigh of relief from time to time, and stopped to slowly stiffen his wrists after writing for a while.He glanced at his right hand, frowned, and looked down at the question.

The first self-study class passed while the voice-activated lights in the corridor flickered on and off.The bell rang for the end of get out of class, and students from other classes rushed out of the classroom.

Li Qinghe took a deep breath and rubbed his hands, then returned to his seat.

It's the old rules, there are very few people in class [-] moving after class, they are all doing their homework and brushing up questions.

Li Qinghe rubbed his swollen wrist, looked down at the diametrically opposed function equations on the test paper, and sighed. He stared at a small black spot on the table, thinking of the boy who looked up and appeared in front of him. I found it incredible, and couldn't help but start to stay.

He is back.

Thinking of just now when he squatted in the corner and looked up, when Li Xiluo appeared in front of him with a smell mixed with tobacco, his hands trembled slightly.

He didn't dare to look at Li Xiluo again, he never dared to look directly into his eyes.

When he raised his head again, Li Xiluo left, leaving a back, just like the first time he saw him.

It's so cold in winter.

Li Qinghe looked at the direction Li Xiluo was leaving, holding the English word in his hand, his fingertips turned white.

……

9:30 Evening self-study get out of class ends, Li Qinghe packs up the books for evening review and returns to the dormitory.

Along the way, Li Qinghe heard some students talking about art students.

Classes [-] and [-] are both arts and science classes in the school, and they were assigned to a separate class due to going out for training.The girls were very excited, because there are many talented and good-looking art students.

Girls are shy and cute, and they can't hide their favorite things.

"Hey, hey, Xi Qiu, did you see that Class [-] came back from training today!" Tang Ying pulled Xi Qiu and a group of little sisters to gossip.

"Which one?"

"That's it! The best-looking one!"

"Oh, the one with the long hair!"

"Ah, yes yes yes!"

"Mom, how can there be such a good-looking person!"

"He's so cool, he's handsome with long hair!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, he's super temperamental. When he just came back today, I went to the office to deliver my homework and saw it. Ahh! It almost blinded me!"

"Yeah, it's so cool, it's too...forget it, I can't find words." The girls talked and laughed, their eyes full of excitement.

Li Qinghe walked past them quietly, as if everything had nothing to do with him.

Tang Ying was covering her face in embarrassment when she was talking, she glanced at Li Qinghe from the corner of her eye, tugged at Xi Qiu who was laughing, and signaled with her eyes.

Xi Qiu frowned: What's the matter?

After Li Qinghe walked away, Tang Ying asked, "Hey, Xi Qiu, who was in your class just now?"

"What what?"

"That's all! You are in the same class as him, don't you all know about it in class six?"

Xi Qiu knew what she was referring to: "I don't know." Xi Qiu looked at the proud and confident young man in front of him with a straight back and straight eyes, and frowned inaudibly.

Indeed, Person Y has a rumor that is well known among the students.

too embarrassing.

Li Qinghe walked quickly, and few people came back when they arrived at the dormitory.When he pushed open the door of the 406 dormitory, he was stunned at the door of the dormitory.

Li Xiluo was wearing slippers and wearing the gray sweater that he wore in Jumping the Wall today. His hair was tied up in a random way, with one strand hanging down to caress his eyebrows and eyes. It was... pretty.If he hadn't bitten the quilt cover at this time, pinched the unfinished quilt corner with both hands, and stepped on the quilt with one foot.

Li Qinghe was stunned by the scene in front of him.He looked at the dormitory number, 406 was correct.Once again, he turned his shocked gaze to Li Xiluo.

Li Xiluo also looked towards the door.

do not know.

"I'm in Class [-], and the boys' dormitory in our class is full." Li Xiluo nodded, not being very acquainted.

"...Yes." Li Qinghe walked into the dormitory, tidied up, went to the bathroom and gently closed the door to wash up.

When Li Qinghe opened the door again, Li Xiluo was still under the quilt.

He watched Li Xiluo gossip, hesitated again and again, and returned to his bed.

Li Qinghe unfolded the quilt, turned on the desk lamp, opened the small table on the bed, spread out the math test papers, and studied the questions.

Li Xiluo was so annoyed by the tangled quilt on the bed, leaning on the wooden frame bed to play with her mobile phone, she was not in the mood to talk, the dormitory was quiet for a while, with a vague embarrassment.

The silence was not broken until the hostess slammed open the door of their dormitory and slapped the switch on the door with a slap.

"I already blew the whistle, why don't you turn off the lights! Only your dormitory is special! Why don't you lie on the bed?!"

Li Xiluo was shone with a flashlight by the uncle in wool trousers. He said with a cold face, "Master, I just came back, and the bed is not yet..."

"I don't care about your situation, lie on the bed quickly! Otherwise, I will deduct points from you, and the whole school will report criticism!" Before he could finish speaking, the uncle interrupted impatiently.

Li Xiluo endured it and did not speak.

There was laughter from the dormitory next door, and three seconds later, the dorm manager kicked and pulled the cotton mop and turned to leave. A burst of yelling came from the next door.

Li Xiluo suffocated for a long time, and threw the twisted quilt, "!!!!"

Li Xi fell into the bathroom.

Li Qinghe looked up at the closed bathroom door and clenched his fingers.

"Crack", the sound of the lighter lighting a cigarette was very clear in the dark night.There was also the sound of smoke puffing from the door.

Li Xiluo was smoking.

Smoke when you're bored.

What are you bothering about?

He never could figure it out.

Cigarettes fascinated him.

He always wanted to let the smoke pour into his lungs and fill his body like masochistic.

Li Xiluo extinguished the cigarette butt in the crack of the plastic window, leaving a small patch of blackness.

He reached out and opened the window a crack.

It was cold and silent outside, the treetops were motionless, but the cold wind poured into the narrow space desperately, and the glass hit the ground and whined.

Li Xiluo opened all the windows, leaned against the window, and smoked one by one.The scarlet sparks flickered and extinguished, and the smoke from the lips was torn away by the cold wind.

Very lonely.

He stuffed it with tobacco and let his mind go blank without thinking about it.

It seems that only cigarettes can make him suppress the restlessness in his heart and not think about why.

Li Xiluo looked at the black soot on the window sill that he had pressed into a circle with a cigarette butt, and was stunned for a while.

His throat was astringent and sore from the smoke, he touched his pocket with his left hand, squeezed a mint in his mouth, closed the window, and opened the door.

Li Qinghe hasn't slept yet.With his back to the direction of the door, he was still writing questions.

Li Xiluo didn't bother, but when he stretched out his hand to pull the quilt and planned to just make it up for the night, he was stunned.

He shook the quilt in his hand, it was already covered.The mess on the bed was also tidied up.Of course, it also includes the underwear that he unzipped the suitcase and dumped, which was lying on his bed an hour ago.

Li Xiluo looked at the neat row of things on the bed and rubbed her face.

Li Xiluo stepped on her slippers, walked to Li Qinghe's bed, bent slightly, and said, "Thank you."

The cool mint mixed with the heat of tobacco hit Li Qinghe's face.

Li Qinghe's right hand holding the pen trembled slightly, nodded, and hummed.The sound is very small, inaudible.

The two of them stopped talking.Li Xiluo threw herself on the bed, put on headphones and played games for a while.When he looked up again, Li Qinghe was still sitting there.

Tsk.Could this person be rushing homework?No, today is Wednesday, we have to finish it early.

It doesn't matter, love is whatever it is.

Li Xiluo lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.

Can't sleep.

A little light is not enough.

The warm yellow seemed to be shining directly on him, and there was darkness all around him, a little light would make him feel that he was being photographed clearly, and all his camouflage was torn to pieces.

"Hey, what..."

After exporting, I found out that I still don’t know the name of the person, fuck...

But seeing that Li Qinghe didn't respond, Li Xiluo opened his mouth and didn't speak, got up and walked to his bed, "It's late, don't you want to sleep?"

Li Qinghe raised his head, met Li Xiluo's eyes, and blinked hastily, "What's wrong?"

Seeing that Li Xiluo was just looking at him with a frown, he hurriedly realized something, and quickly packed up the paper, "I'm sorry, did I disturb your sleep? I forgot to check the time."

Li Xiluo saw him hastily stuffing the books into his schoolbag, and felt that his reaction was a bit exaggerated, and said, "It's okay, I think you've been studying for a long time, go to bed early."

"okay."

At first, Li Xiluo felt that this person was not very easy to talk to, because the other person had no expression and did not look at him since entering the door.Now it seems that it's okay.I just don't talk much, I guess I'm studying well, and I don't stop doing the questions.

Both of them were lying on their respective beds, Li Qinghe took a light breath and turned slightly to look at Li Xiluo who was on the bed by the door.

The warm yellow light climbed onto Li Xiluo's face, with deep eyebrows and wide eyes.The projection of the bridge of his nose hit one side of his face.

Li Qinghe stared at the projection and felt dazed.

Staring at the film, the projection disappeared.

The lying person turned his head and opened his eyes.

Li Xiluo opened his eyes and was about to say what's wrong, when Li Qinghe slapped the lamp off, lay down straight, and was knocked on the head by the steel frame of the bed, the movement was quite loud.

Li Qinghe hissed, didn't care about rubbing, and quickly covered his head with the quilt.

The hand holding the quilt under the bed trembled slightly, remembering the embarrassment just now, Li Qinghe closed his eyes.

After a while, I reached out and rubbed my aching head, and breathed a sigh of relief.

As expected, Li Qinghe went to bed very late.

Admittedly, he didn't know that the other was also bitterly chewing on the darkness.

Li Xiluo opened her eyes and looked at the light of the corridor coming in through the window on the door.

One, two, three, four, five, bright.

Five, four, three, two, one, off.

Li Xiluo counted over and over again in her heart, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes.

There are a total of five voice-activated lights in the corridor of the dormitory.One of them was broken, flashing and struggling like falling into icy water.

Can't sleep.

Li Xiluo stared at the light coming in from the window above the door, her eyes were dry.

It's good if you can't sleep, if you can't sleep, you don't have to see those anymore...

The broken faucet in the water room leaked water drop by drop, and every time it seemed to drop on Li Xiluo's heart, drop by drop, telling him cruelly that tomorrow would be hard to come, and the boundless darkness would exist for a long time.

He closed his eyes.

Both people in the room were breathing very lightly, dead still, waiting for the first ray of light in the morning to tear through the darkness and pull up their bodies that had fallen into the abyss.

……

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