coward

"is it?"

Li Xiluo suppressed her astonishment, and finally asked a flat question.

"I heard that he was seen in the bathroom with a boy from our school. Oh my god, it's disgusting, two boys." A boy next to him came over to gossip.

The boy's eyes were full of contempt.

Li Xiluo's face darkened, "Did you see it? Don't talk nonsense if you don't see it." His tone was neither too good nor too bad.

Unexpectedly, the boy who was being talked about withdrew his expression, feeling uncomfortable, his face froze, and his face was filled with displeasure.

"Hey, don't care, it's none of our business what other people do, let's eat." Chen Jingyue saw that the scene was a little stiff, so he changed the topic.

"I just think he's disgusting, relying on himself to study well, pretending all day long, who knows how dirty he is in private."

The boy refused to let go, and said a few more difficult words.

Straightforward and embarrassing.

"Say it again?" Li Xiluo suddenly stood up and stared at him, causing the vegetable juice on the table to splash all over them.

The people around looked over, and they were instantly quieter.

"You talk too much, at least give yourself some morals."

Seeing everyone around him watching, the man was embarrassed, put his face down, packed up the tableware and left, poured out the leftovers, threw the tableware out of the bucket with a bang, turned around and left.The aunt who was in charge of packing up the tableware glanced at him and bent down to pick up the plate from the ground.

"Why are kids nowadays so angry?"

After the man left, the people sitting there didn't speak any more.

Chen Jingyue picked up chopsticks and carrots on Li Xiluo's plate, "Hey, don't be too angry, we don't know the sixth class very well, what's more, that's all, Li Qinghe seems to be in the third class of the school almost every student knows..."

Li Xiluo didn't speak, but his face was not as ugly as before.

Chen Jingyue continued: "Didn't you see, he has been alone all the time, and Class [-] has never seen him with anyone. Damn, anyway, Class [-] is the school's baby bump. We can't get along with others, and they can't get together." I disdain to have friendship with our group of poor students."

"The group of people in class six have eyes on the top of their heads. Aren't they fucking studying? I heard that only their class still has people who buy in through connections. One by one, you can see arrogance from far away. Fuck."

"Well, it's not all of them..." Zhao Xin swears to defend his girlfriend to the death, and retorts weakly.

"All right, all right, except for your partner!"

A few people chattered about indiscriminately, but Li Xiluo was in no mood to interrupt.

While talking, Chen Jingyue secretly picked up Li Xiluo's Pleurotus eryngii mushroom, but it was not picked up properly and fell on the table.

"How many times have you done this! You won't change your bad habits? Take your carrots away!" Li Xiluo watched his dishes being spoiled three times by Chen Jingyue, couldn't bear it, and gave him a trick.

"Carrots are good for your health and protect your eyes, do you know that?" Chen Jingyue said, covering his head.

"Father, I don't need protection. My eyesight is good. You treat me as blind. This carrot looks unripe at first glance, like fucking toothpaste!" Li Xiluo threw the carrot that Chen Jingyue picked aside.

"Did you eat toothpaste? Is your sense of taste out of order?" Chen Jingyue looked in disbelief.

"I'll just make an analogy."

Several people were happy.

"Eat! Everyone is gone! If you dare to take my food, I will chop you!"

"Did you get beaten up so badly that it exploded at once."

Chen Jingyue kept trying to die.

Li Xiluo smiled softly: "Just say one more thing, the Tianling cover has been lifted for you."

"Fuck, goodbye, brother Luo, I'm afraid."

"vomit."

"vomit."

"Hetui!"

"..."

Several people vomited repeatedly.

"..."

A few people had the cheek to eat until the end, and they didn't get up until the aunt who cleared the table urged them to leave.

When Li Xiluo returned to the dormitory, it was still warm and yellow.The curtains have been drawn, the dormitory is quiet, and there is a boy with a fair complexion sitting beside the bed.

The two still didn't talk much.

Li Xiluo took out the quilt he had stuffed in carelessly from Li Qinghe's cabinet, stretched it out and put it on the bed.

Li Xiluo went to Chen Jingyue's dormitory with nothing to do, and came back before the uncle blew the whistle.

Li Xiluo entered the door and saw Li Qinghe's back towards the window, so she couldn't help walking over, "Your class has so much homework?"

"Ah, that's not it...it's almost time for a model, next Tuesday, I'm not ready yet..." Li Qinghe became nervous as soon as he talked to Li Xiluo, he tried his best to control it, but there was no way.

"One model? So fast?"

"Well, number 25. You..."

"Are you nervous?" Li Xiluo asked.

"No! No. I just..."

When Li Qinghe was asked face to face by Li Xiluo, he felt anxious and cut a long mark on the straw paper.

Li Xiluo looked at his obviously fluctuating breathing, and couldn't help thinking about what happened in the restaurant just now.

To be honest, Li Xiluo didn't want to believe it.But after a few weeks of getting along, he found that the child was too withdrawn.It's not like the two of them haven't seen each other before, in the corridors, toilets, offices, playgrounds, and restaurants, they may not be able to see each other between classes, but they actually meet each other every day.

He could clearly feel his loneliness.

In the corridor, far away, Li Xiluo looked at Li Qinghe, feeling that he was looking at him, and seemed to be looking behind him.

He felt that the gaze was too cold, as if they were just ordinary classmates, and there was no need to even make eye contact.

Li Qinghe passed him by, and when he walked up to him, his back was always straight, his steps were steady, and he looked straight ahead without blinking his eyes.Or, he will lower his eyes, leaving only a pair of white eyelids to cover them, the light in his eyes is completely blocked.

Li Xiluo looked closely into his eyes.The color of the eyeballs was a little lighter, covered with a hazy layer of water mist, and he was holding his clothes in his hands. At that time, his eyes seemed to burst out with a glimmer of light from despair.

Quiet and fiery.

Fragile and strong.

Li Xiluo never thought that a person's eyes would be so impressive.

The relationship between the two was maintained very well.But he always felt that the teenager who lived with him for more than two weeks was always out of the crowd.

He has no friends, no company, no conversation, no complaints, no expectations, always quiet, always downcast eyes.Like the stars in the dark night, they can only be buried under the dark night forever.

He felt that he was the same as Li Qinghe, but different.

Thinking of homosexuality, he smiled wryly, sighed slowly, and closed his eyes.

Homosexuality is not a disease.

Homosexuality is not a perversion.

In all love, no one is noble and no one is base.

Love is equal.

Besides, he doesn't think other people's gossip is the standard by which he judges a person.

Pointless and utterly stupid.

Li Qinghe is different from them, different.

But there is only one thing, he has long been sure.

The boy never seemed to initiate a conversation with him.

"Hey, thank you for your review letter this morning." Li Xiluo sat down on Li Qinghe's bed very kindly.

"Ah, you're welcome, my handwriting is so ugly, I made you laugh." Li Qinghe lowered his head and said in a low voice.

Does not exclude others from sitting on his bed.

Li Xiluo thought to herself.

Li Xiluo looked at Li Qinghe's lowered head, his eyes were drooping, his eyelids were white, as if he could see the fine blood vessels.He continued: "Does Lao Zhang often punish you for writing self-criticisms? But it's really amazing that you can write five-thousand-word self-criticisms."

"The words on the last two pages are also very cute."

Before Li Qinghe could speak, Li Xiluo added another sentence.

Li Qinghe blushed, he couldn't hide it this time.

"Hey, haven't you been praised before? When you praise, you blush."

Li Qinghe wanted to escape.

Li Xiluo said a few more words, and when the uncle passed by the door of their dormitory for the second time, he hurriedly said: "Let's have dinner together tonight."

"No, don't... you can't mix classes."

After Li Qinghe finished speaking, he regretted it.

Anxious and regretful.

Why did you say the wrong thing again.

"Then how about I go to your class to find you?"

"If you can't do it, you have to do it! You invite me."

"Okay." Li Qinghe nodded.

The two of them did not speak as before, lying in their quilts and waiting quietly.

The noon in December is still a cold silence, the sun shines on the window sill, but there is no warmth to be found.

Li Qinghe felt that the light coming in from behind the curtains was very warm, surrounded by the warm orange sunset like the dusk in July.

He slowly stretched out his hand from under the quilt, stroking the blue and white checked sheets.

There was a person sitting here just now.

He has a scorching temperature on his body.

He didn't dare to get close, only dared to covet secretly.

……

After the fifth period in the afternoon, everyone rushed to the restaurant.

All the third-year students are in the No. [-] building, which is the farthest from the restaurant. When the bell falls, some will rush to the restaurant on the second floor.

"Tsk, bullshit."

Sitting in Li Qinghe's seat, Li Xiluo sighed as he watched the crowd pouring in like zombies.

He has bought a meal and sat for 3 minutes.

two copies.

Soup is ready.

The reason is very simple. He escaped for 10 minutes during the fifth period of self-study and came to the restaurant to buy food.

He didn't want to fight for food with a pack of wolf cubs.

Come in one.do not know.

Come in two.do not know.

Three come in, fuck, it's that little guy from 405, running so fast?

Come in...too many to count...

He finally caught sight of Li Qinghe and pulled him over.

"Don't run away, the food is ready." Li Xiluo said with a smile.

Li Qinghe was dumbfounded.

"Come on, the food is getting cold."

"..."

"I run fast, and Chen Jingyue's group of sports students can't match it."

Li Qinghe looked at him and said nothing.

"I skipped class and came early." Li Xi said truthfully.

"You skipped class?!" Li Qinghe was quite shocked.

"Hey, if you don't come early, you won't be able to snatch them. Don't talk about it, let's eat."

Li Xiluo handed two bowls of soup to Li Qinghe.

Li Qinghe didn't move his chopsticks: "Didn't you say... I invite you?" He lowered his head.

"It's the same, please ask me next time."

"……it is good."

"You are a real dog!" Chen Jingyue held the bowl

"Boom" placed between the two of them.

"You don't even buy me food, don't you love me anymore?!"

"Pfft!" Li Xiluo just took a sip of the soup and dedicated it to Chen Jingyue, the future wonder of the motherland: "Don't be so fucking disgusting!"

Chen Jingyue sat down: "Why are you sitting in class six?"

"Someone treat me to dinner, can't I?"

Only then did Chen Jingyue notice that Li Qinghe was sitting opposite Li Xiluo.

Chen Jingyue: "!"

"If you don't have anything to do, go to eat quickly, don't blah here."

Chen Jingyue: "..."

Chen Jingyue shook his clothes: "Aren't you disgusting! Wash my school uniform!"

"In the next life. Embrace the earth."

Chen Jingyue took a ball from Li Xiluo's dinner plate and rolled it.

Li Qinghe ate silently.

Li Xiluo occasionally said a word or two, and Li Qinghe responded in a low voice.

Li Xiluo ordered three dishes, and they were all the same.He didn't ask Li Qinghe what he liked to eat, so he ordered according to his own.

But Li Qinghe didn't have any special likes and dislikes, he ate everything he ordered.

Li Qinghe ate without making any noise but ate faster and faster.

"No, take it easy, are you eating so hard in class six?" Li Xiluo couldn't stand it any longer, and pushed the soup towards him.

"Thank you." Li Qinghe said softly.

He drank a few mouthfuls of soup, put the bowl aside, and sat upright.

Li Qing and his eyelashes flickered.

so many people.

Many people are watching them.

Li Xiluo was eating slowly, and stopped when she saw this: "Is this the end? I'm so fast?!"

"……Um."

Li Qinghe lowered his eyes and was very quiet.

He opened his mouth and asked in a low voice: "Next time, when will I invite you to dinner?"

Li Xiluo took a sip of the soup: "How about tomorrow at noon?"

"it is good."

People in class six have already left their seats one after another.

Li Xiluo stuffed two more mouthfuls of food: "I'm almost there, you wait for me! Fuck, I haven't eaten a few bites yet!"

Li Qing wrestled with his hands and didn't say anything.

Take your time, I can be late.

Li Xiluo stacked their bowls together, and was about to leave, Li Qinghe took out a tissue from his pocket in a panic: "Wait...wipe it."

He wiped it clean, including Li Xiluo's position.

Li Qinghe followed behind Li Xiluo.

Get out of the seat with him, walk around two pillars with him, step left foot first and then right foot with him, bend over the leftovers from the plate and put them into the blue bucket with him, follow Behind him, with him.

Li Qinghe glanced at the chopsticks in the big blue bucket.

His and his cross each other.

They were put together by him.

He followed behind him slowly, took 27 steps from the sink and walked out of the restaurant on the second floor, avoided three elementary school students with him, said hello teacher twice with him, walked down the 23 steps with him, and went with him Building No. [-], go back to work with him.

Li Qinghe thought he was going crazy.

If this is a dream, he is willing to indulge forever.

He bumped headfirst into a broad back.

He quickly took two steps back.

Li Qinghe looked up and saw Li Xiluo looking at him, his pretty lips opening and closing.

The brain roared.

……

Li Qinghe ran away.

He ran up to the fifth floor in one breath.

He went to the bathroom to wash his face, the coolness of December could not quench his burning heat.

His heart was beating fast.

The tip of his tongue hurt and was scalded by the soup.

He approached the classroom and took a seat in the third row from the north wall.

His mind went blank.

Once again, he didn't know what Li Xiluo said.

He was a coward, so he ran away without daring to stay or ask.

He sat in his seat and looked out the window.The treetops were forever motionless, and there was not a single cloud in the sky.There was no wind at all, only dry, cold air that seemed to freeze time.Indistinctly, he seemed to see a ray of clouds, quietly hanging in the west, extending from the side of the building where he could see, quietly revealing a little warmth in the sky.

Li Qinghe felt that it was warm and comfortable, and finally found a different color from the sky.

It looks like it's very warm.

It's a warm, scalding aftermath.

It is a legacy of presumptuousness.

It is the delusion that cowards secretly look up to.

The author has something to say: It’s raining again today.

?(There is a sunflower here.)

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