Can I love you?

My name is Zoe, Linlin is my cousin, we grew up together.Although I live in Hong Kong and she lives in mainland China, we only see each other during Mid-Autumn Festival and Chinese New Year, but we have a very good relationship.She likes to play with me very much, and always follows me behind my sister's call.Logically speaking, I should really like to play with the eldest sister, Linlin's own sister, but I don't, maybe because she is really much older than me and Linlin.So I always like to stay with that lovely sister and take her with me in everything.

When I was in junior high school, that is, when Linlin was still in elementary school, my father and uncle had a bad fight. Since then, until I went abroad to study, I have never seen my lovely sister again, and never talked to her again. Played together again.I once told my mother that I wanted to go back to the mainland and to go back to my uncle. She just told me to study hard and not think about what I have.Since then, I know that we may not see each other again.

I also thought about going back to the mainland to find her by myself, but every time I go back to the mainland, my parents take her with me. I am unfamiliar with the place, and I really dare not go out alone.And I'm very busy, every day apart from classes, there are various cram schools and various competitions.Many times, when I am so tired that I don’t want to do anything anymore, when there is a lot of pressure but no one can talk about it, I always miss that cute little sister.Every day with her is a joy.At that time, I would think, I have to grow up quickly, so that I can find her.

When I was taking the university entrance examination, I even wanted to go to the mainland to study in a place close to her, but my wish did not come true.When I was preparing to study in Form Seven, that is, in the third year of high school, my parents told me to prepare to go abroad.go abroad?how come?With my grades, I can go to a good school and a good major in China. How could my parents send me abroad? Even if my brother went abroad, he was sent out because of his poor grades. How did I get here? Will the grades in the top ten of the whole grade still be sent abroad?

I asked my dad why, and I told him that I don't want to go abroad, I want to go back to the mainland to study in university.Dad didn't say anything, just looked at me, I knew he was angry, every time he was angry, he wouldn't speak, just looked at me with cold eyes.I didn't know why he was angry, and I didn't dare to ask. I just knew that I had to go abroad.My mother advised me that I would be a sea turtle after going abroad, and it would be easier to find a job, so I laughed.

In the end, I obediently went abroad. I listened to what they said and studied hard.Even if they don't say it, I will study hard, and I know that only when I have the ability can I do what I want to do.

When I was abroad, I was busy with various things, met all kinds of people, and of course attended all kinds of parties and evenings.No one cares about me abroad. I feel very free. Of course, I will not tell my parents about these things. In their eyes, I am still a good girl. Every time I have a long vacation, I will return to Hong Kong immediately.Although this is the case, I know that I have changed, and I have many thoughts in my heart.

Once I was on vacation and I went back to Hong Kong, my father asked me if I wanted to go back to the mainland, to my uncle.I don't know why he wanted to go back all of a sudden, but I agreed immediately. I am very happy, and finally I can go back to see that lovely sister.

Finally, we embarked on the journey back to the mainland. I was excited, happy, and extremely nervous at the same time.Finally, I'm going to meet my sister. I don't know if she has changed now, how much taller she has grown, whether she is taller than me, whether she is becoming more/beautiful/beautiful...

When I went back to my uncle, he still treated me as kindly as before. He asked me many things about my study and life, and I answered them one by one. After that, my father and uncle would talk again.I was a little anxious because I didn't see the person I always wanted to see. My uncle didn't tell me, and I didn't dare to ask.Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to learn some news about Linlin from their conversations. My uncle said that Linlin is now a freshman in Shenzhen and she is on vacation today, but she can’t go home until after school in the afternoon, around six o’clock.Shenzhen is so close to Hong Kong!Can I go to her school to play with her in the future?And there are still six hours, I am looking forward to it, looking forward to meeting in six hours.

Not long after, my aunt came back, and I said hello to her, but she just hummed lightly, with a very indifferent attitude, probably still angry about what happened before.After that, Linlin's younger brother Xiaotao also came back. He has grown a lot taller, about 1.8 meters tall, and his skin is a little wheatish.The arms have many muscles and look strong.I can't help but sigh, he has become a big boy, he has changed so much, so what about Linlin?

After lunch, Dad and uncle continued to chat in the hall.My uncle told me that if I feel tired, I can go upstairs to sleep in the room of Linlin and Eldest Sister.I wanted to go up, but I still didn't go up. If Linlin knew that I entered her room privately, she would be angry, so I refused, and stayed obediently in the living room to chat with them.

At 05:30, the eldest sister came back from work. The eldest sister has also changed a lot in the past few years. Her hair was dyed maroon, and the big wavy curls are very suitable for her. It's 05:30, about half an hour before I can see my sister, I am very excited and looking forward to it.What are you going to tell her next?What will happen when she sees me?My hair isn't messed up, is it?Will the clothes I wear look bad?

Time passed in my wild thoughts, and finally, I heard the sound of the downstairs door being closed.It's her, it must be her, she's back!

She wears a ponytail, a white T-shirt, tight denim trousers, a pair of white sneakers, and carries a schoolbag, looking very pure.Her facial features are stretched out, and it's true that the eighteenth female college student has become more/hair/beautiful/beautiful/.The eyes are still as big as before, and the nose that used to be a little flat is now very small and cute.It may be that she just came back from the outside, or she was a little embarrassed to see us, her face was a little red, and her lips were dry; it may be that she has not recovered from the military training, her skin is not so white, it is a very healthy wheat color .The height is 1.7 meters by visual inspection, um~ just not as tall as me, I am a little happy.She was a little stunned when she saw us, maybe it was too sudden, a little unexpected.

"Linlin, you're back!" My mother sat next to me and spoke first, before she realized it and greeted us one by one.When I greeted her, I just responded to her and didn't say anything. It's not that I didn't want to say it, but I didn't know how to say it. I didn't know what to say. At that moment, I felt that all the parties I attended abroad were for nothing. Everything I thought just now was for nothing, I really wanted to slap myself and call myself an idiot loudly!

In the evening, my uncle arranged for me to sleep with Linlin and my eldest sister. The [-]-inch bed was a bit cramped, but I was still very happy. After all, it was the first time I slept with her after so many years of separation.That night, she slept next to me, listening to her breathing, I soon fell asleep.

The next day, I woke up earlier than her. She was sleeping on the right side, and I happened to be sleeping on her right side. I could clearly see her sleeping face.She was cute sleeping with one hand under her face and the other beside her.Like a child, but she seems to have just grown up.Like the Sleeping Beauty in a fairy tale, waiting for her prince to kiss her to wake her up, who will be her prince?I suddenly thought so, and when I realized why I was thinking about this question, I felt stupid.I took out the phone under the pillow, turned off the sound, secretly took a picture, and saved it in the photo album.

After that, I watched her for a long time, and I didn't choose to get up until I was so anxious that I couldn't hold it anymore.Although I know that when I get up, my uncle will ask me to wake her up, because I will go up the mountain to pay respects to my grandparents, but I still get up gently, so as not to wake her up, and let her sleep for a while For a bar.From the dark circles under her eyes, you can see how sleep deprived she was at school.

The cemetery of my grandparents is on the top of the mountain, and it takes more than an hour to climb. This is not a big deal for me. After all, when I was abroad, I would be invited to climb the mountain from time to time, but this is not necessarily the case for a certain child.The mountain road is very narrow, and Linlin walked in front of me. The flat road at the beginning was okay, but she walked more and more unsteadily as she got to the back, shaking from time to time, and she was about to fall. Steady.This happened several times, and it shocked me.Fortunately, every time she was about to fall, not really fall, otherwise I don't know if she would cry, after all, she cried so cute when she was a child.

After returning from worshiping the mountain, we returned to Hong Kong after lunch. Although we were very reluctant to leave so soon, there was no other way.I'm about to start school soon, I've already bought my air ticket, and I have to go.When she left, she exchanged WeChat IDs with her mother, but I don't have them anymore.Because whether in Hong Kong or in the UK, most of my friends use Facebook, and few people use /Q/Q/WeChat in China.

When I left, I really wanted to say something to her, but in the end I didn't say anything.Really, why can't she use any social skills on her?

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Inner Monologue from Zoe