desperate entanglement

questions, and he doesn't need me to give him answers.

He just wants me to be an executioner too, to drag me down the abyss.

Want me to be like him, with hands filled with the blood of countless people.

Want me to become a sinner and not be reborn after death.

He said that I was the redemption for his sins.

He also said that I was the source of his evil.

But I can't do what he does, treat life and death as a joke, and dispose of it at will.

Even if it is not Su Yan who is going to be killed now, I can't judge other people's lives.

That was too painful, and too cruel.

I shook my head, grabbed his hand, and wrote in his palm, 'Don't kill him, I beg you. '

I beg you, spare those who are not bad.

Not for me, but also for your future, children and grandchildren to accumulate virtue.

Ji Yun smiled, frost rose in her eyes, she pinched my wrist and held it tightly.

"You begged me for him?" Ji Yun said with a contorted face, "Hong'er, have you fallen in love with him!"

I felt pain and didn't respond.

He raised my head, made me look at him, and said cruelly, "At the beginning you said you loved me and you wanted to stay by my side, now you want to betray me!"

I was slightly taken aback.

There was a chill.

Everything he does comes from his love for me.

He was not wrong, it was me who was wrong.

It was my mistake to think that staying by his side could accept him like this.

But later I discovered that what I fell in love with was the gentle and kind side of his character.

His cruelty and cruelty are what I hate and fear.

I am sorry for him.

I shed tears, held his hand, shook my head, and wrote softly, 'Ji Jin, I will not betray you. '

"In this case, prove it to me." Ji Jin patted my shoulder and smiled beautifully.

I looked at him and froze for a moment.

He took out the gun, put it in my hand, and pushed me forward, "Go and kill him, I will believe you."

I stood where I was, looking at the half-conscious Su Yan, my hands trembling.

No.

I can't.

I can't kill Su Yan.

Anyone can, but I can't kill him.

He held my back and whispered in my ear, "What? Are you scared? How about I help you?"

I shook my head and wanted to drop the gun, but Ji Yun shook hands with me and pointed at Su Yan who was not far away.

"Hong'er, after finishing him off, I can take you out of this place."

He patted my head and coaxed me as usual, "Good boy, be obedient, don't disobey me, you understand?"

I closed my eyes in despair, unable to resist his request, but I also could not inflict the most fatal injury on Su Yan.

Ji Jin.

He knew that I couldn't do it, but he was still pushing me.

He knew that I loved him very much, but he still doubted me.

What he wants me is to stay by his side in peace and obey his orders and arrangements.

I had love with him, and we had a short time of beauty, but the time was fleeting, and we all changed our appearance.

I know that several scars on his body are left for me.

I know he passed up many chances and chances for me.

He has done for me, there are so many things that I cannot pay for him.

So, what I owed him has already been repaid.

Even if it takes my life, my whole life, it cannot be compensated.

but……

Su Yan can't be the victim I owe him.

I struggled suddenly, broke free from Ji Yun's embrace, stepped back, and pointed a gun at my head.

Ji Yun's eyes changed, she stared at me, and smiled instead, "Hong'er, you're not good at doing this kind of thing, so stop messing around."

I shook my head, stepped back, moved my hand slightly, and slowly pulled the trigger.

He lost his smile, shook his hand, and walked towards me with heavy steps.

I couldn't dodge, looking at him approaching, I finally let go of the gun.

He slapped me, squeezed my shoulders, and shook me with anger on his face, "For such a person, you have annoyed me again and again, what are you trying to show!"

I burst into tears and opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

He sneered, hugged me, and kissed me hard.

Such a broken kiss seems to be sad, I am so sad.

He hugged me, picked up the gun, held my hand, and pointed at his chest, "Hong'er, shoot, kill me, and you can save him."

I opened my eyes wide, thought about it, and shook my head.

No.

I don't want him to be like this.

I don't want him like this either.

"Can't you shoot?" He smiled slightly, "It's okay, I won't blame you if you fired."

I bit my lip, let go, and hugged him.

I'm sorry, Ji Jin.

I'm not trying to push you.

I just want to save Su Yan.

Really, I just don't want to see Su Yan die, I have no other thoughts.

Ji Jin, why can't you trust me?Why do we torture each other?

He smiled lightly, kissed my hair, and wiped away my tears, "Hong'er, it's all right, don't cry."

I hugged him tightly, tears still rolled down and wet his skirt.

He put away his gun, picked me up, turned around, walked to the door, and then said softly, "From now on, don't let me see you again, or I will definitely kill you."

There was no echo in the room, and a gust of wind blew by, making the smell of blood even stronger.

Chapter 10

After Ji Jin took me back to Ji's house, he left.

I know, he is very busy.

This time, it was just a game he played with me.

He still won.

I was locked in that room and suffered from the darkness day and night.

I should thank him for not locking me hand and foot.

But he broke my leg.

In the dark, I couldn't move, so I could only lie on the bed, three meals a day, and the servants took care of washing.

That's why I said it was the last time I took a train.

Because the price of running away is my freedom.

I'm used to sleeping deeply. In my dream, Ji Yun was so gentle, calling me one after another.

Honger.

Honger.

My Hong'er.

This sound is one of the factors that allowed me to endure Ji Jin's torture for so many years.

He thought I would suffer from what he did to me.

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

I will be the source of pain, not just because of him.

I have a secret that no one knows.

It is buried deep in my heart, and sometimes I dare not explore it.

That secret is my deepest sin.

Twenty years ago, two children were released in front of the orphanage.

One is called Hong He, and the other is called... Su Yan.

As I got older, my looks got me into trouble, and the dean used to molested me.

Su Yan grew up with me, stood up for me, and was often punished.

He wanted to save me, but he was too young to have any power.

He often said to me, Hong'er, when I become stronger, I won't let you suffer.

I deeply believe in his words, and look forward to the day when Su Yan can take me out of this miserable day.

Until one day, when I was molested by the dean again, Su Yu took out a knife and stabbed the dean to death, and sentenced him to death.

Before he went to prison, he told me over and over again, Hong'er, wait for me, I will come back to find you, and I will definitely take you away when the time comes.

I stood at the gate of the prison for a long time, and I said, I will wait for him.

On that day, Su Yan's parents came to find him.

The courtyard had collected money from his parents earlier, and it was supposed to hand him over, but because of this, it was very anxious.

They thought of me, and warned me to prevent my disclosure of the truth.

Once I'm exposed and sent back, they'll sell me.

I was terrified of them and finally said yes, partly because I longed for my family.

Since I was a child, I hoped to be cared by my parents like a normal child.

So I replaced everything that should have belonged to Su Yan.

So much so that when I learned that Su Yan was released from prison, I didn't go to see him, and I didn't even want to return what was supposed to be his.

I betrayed my oath with him.

I caused him to live a hard life in displacement.

In the end my selfishness almost killed him.

I have a deep guilt towards him, and I have to calculate my debt according to time.

I owe Su Yan more, so I will bear the sins I committed and live in pain.

On that train, when Su Yu stood in front of me, I recognized him.

I think fate will not give up, some people cannot hide, I will still meet him.

Staying by Ji Yun's side all year round, I noticed that some people in his partnership wanted to cheat me out of money, so I followed his lead.

And the money in that card can also be considered as compensation for him.

It's just that what I didn't expect was that Su Yan still had a deep bond with me just like when he was a child.

When he asked me if I had feelings for him, I couldn't answer.

Because I apologize to him too much, I can't express anything, and I don't want to hurt him.

Su Yan, he is a thorn in my heart, every time I think about it, it can bring me pain.

When Ji Yun asked me to kill Su Yan, I wavered.

After all, killing Su Yan will end my suffering.

But I can't do it.

When he took me to the train station and asked me if I would like to leave with him, I knew that I would have to spend my life with pain and guilt.

So, Su Yan, if you know the truth, can you forgive me?

Maybe you will hate me, maybe you will regret that you once fell in love with such a me, but I still hope that you can forget me, forget that there was such a person like me in your life.

When Ji Yun came to see me, she first expressed her desire on me, and then she talked to herself.

He will tell me everything about him, even his fatal weakness.

He is not afraid that I will become his threat at all, he trusts me too much, and distrusts me too much.

After he took a shower, he turned on the light.

I haven't seen the light for a long time, and when I see the light, it's hard to open my eyes.

He hugged me, seemed to be in a good mood, and smiled softly.

When we're alone, he's happy as long as I obey and don't mess with him.

He brushes my hair