[Hammer Base] White Night

Thor wakes up in the morning.The transparent mist and a little bit of sunshine outside the window, with the noisy fireworks of the world, rushing towards our face.

In this extremely ordinary and ordinary morning light, he struggled to open his eyes. He didn't know whether he was dreaming or waking up all night, which gave him a headache.The things in the dream seemed to pass by in a flash, as fast as a fleeting moment.He couldn't think of anything, only the tight pain in his chest and the endless emptiness.

It was a sense of loss that had been lost.

He suddenly felt that the thing was very important and he must be found.

He got up on all fours and took a shower.When he turned off the shower and wiped his hair with a towel, he habitually yelled towards the outside of the bathroom door.

"Loki, remember to eat breakfast."

It was very quiet outside.He didn't get the usual answer.Only then did he suddenly realize that there was no one beside him.

Loki was missing, just vanished out of nowhere.He and Jane searched for a long time that day, but found no trace of him.He quietly evaporated around them like water vapor, as if he had never been here before.

He changed his clothes, closed the door, and drove out of the garage.When doing these things, he moves quickly, but absent-mindedly.His buttons were buttoned incorrectly, he forgot to change his slippers, and he shifted into reverse when the car started.

He was thinking about him, and he was going to find him.He didn't know what kind of mood it was driven by.It seemed to be his natural duty to seek, to get out and bring the child home, wherever the child was.

He drove towards the station, dock and airport, searching for Loki among the crowd.This behavior has been repeated every day since the day he disappeared.

People on the street are in a hurry and their steps are fast.Countless boys appeared during the period, but none of them was the face he wanted to see the most.

At last he came to a step, and he stood there.He felt that he hadn't gone far, but he didn't understand why he couldn't find him.The grass growing out of the stone steps by the roadside has gradually withered and yellowed, and climbing vines have also begun to droop in the gaps in the walls of the buildings behind.Winter is coming in this city.

He sat there and waited until night fell.After he couldn't see the expressions of people on the street for countless times, he got up and drove home. Jane called him and said she would come over. Thor hears a knock on the door shortly after he puts down the phone. Jane stood outside the door with a paper bag from the supermarket, half of her head was exposed from the baguette inside.

"I brought you food for the past few days." Jane put the contents of the paper bag into the refrigerator.She knew that Thor didn't care about taking care of his life these days, so she helped him prepare everything, which she felt was her responsibility as a girlfriend.

Thor lay in bed, watching the flickering lights outside the window cast jumping shadows on the ceiling, and he remembered the days when he used to hold Loki to sleep.He only remembered these, he even forgot whether he had dinner just now, he forgot about hunger, and forgot about sleep.He waited for the sleepless nights that were so common these days as he was waiting for the end of the world and Judgment Day.

Jane lay down next to him.In the darkness, she looked sideways at the man.There are too many mysteries about him that she can't figure out, like layers of light waves, shooting out from the core of the burning sun, although it is warm and brilliant, it has a primitive wildness, and it is still impossible to look directly at it.

"Who am I?" He said suddenly, as if he was asking Jane, more like asking himself.

"You are Thor." She said, leaning gently against his body, "You are my love." There was admiration and trust in her breath, and uncontrollable fascination.This man she embraced could wash away all timidity and melancholy in her.Before Loki appeared in their lives, she could love him bravely and passionately without distraction.

Not now, everything has changed.He was missing him, and this Thor felt strange to her.Although they are sleeping on the same bed now, they don't have the enthusiasm of lovers at all—indifferent, tired, and each has their own thoughts.She lowered her eyes, holding on to the last bit of hope, and kissed his cheek, as if waiting for his extravagant response.

After a long time, Thor gently hugged her back, closed his eyes, and apologized to her, "I'm tired after being out all day. Jane, I'm sorry."

He still rejects her, the same way he did when Loki showed up.

Jane looked at the shimmering blond hair floating by his ear in the dark, just as attractive as his smile once, but the back he left for her at this moment made her feel that he was separated from herself by two universes distance.

"You'll find him. Thor, you can't give up hope." With that, Jane got up and left, disappearing into the twilight darkness. Thor lay quietly on the bed, like a statue whose blood was still flowing.He didn't see her back, let alone anything more on her face.

Gradually, as if miraculously, he fell asleep.When I first entered the dreamland, my mind was in a mess, and I would jump up from time to time.He woke up and slept, slept and woke up, half dreaming and half awake.

He tried hard to recall the past.I thought very hard, but still got nothing.This painful torture touched his drowsy and tingling nerves, he got up and got out of bed, and turned on the TV.Press the channel casually and turn up the volume.He was afraid, afraid that his mind would become dull due to being too blank, and that he would miss something because of his dullness.

He needs the stimulation of sounds and pictures to distract him.

The light from the TV flickered on his face, and the few beautiful idol stars that appeared on the screen made him a little overwhelmed.A boring-looking movie that starts with a boy screaming.The long-haired young man lives step by step in the golden town. The boy is the only trouble in his life. He is used to taking him with him in everything, so his life has a purpose.

Thor unexpectedly didn't change the channel, and continued watching in silence.

In the movie, the boy causes trouble again and again, and the young man has to take time off from his own time to solve the trouble the boy brings to himself and the town.Looking up at the boy on the water tower, he gently persuaded, told stories patiently, and even sang out-of-key nursery rhymes in public, just to let the boy get down safely.In the end, he hugged the boy amidst the applause of everyone, with no complaints or accusations on his face, only love and pity in his heart.

Thor watched, motionless, as if he were the last man on earth.

The boy in the movie climbed the tree and dangled his legs over the window.In the convenience store, the young man bandaged the boy's wound, saying that as long as I am here, no one can hurt you.Because you are my brother.

Because you are my brother.

His heart was knocked down by these words, and the sharp pain made him feel like he couldn't live without it.His consciousness was quickly overwhelmed by overwhelming memories, and he didn't even have the strength to breathe in a short time.

He remembered everything.

The father's broad and rough hands stroked his hair, and he set off to Jothuheim in the rising sun.In the afterglow of the setting sun, another life was brought to him.

The young Loki hid behind him, looking at his father with some fear.Amidst the doubts and accusations of the crowd, they held his hand tightly.

They went to conquer the kingdom of frost giants together, and he was pushed down by his father from Asgard.He saw him standing there, eyes full of surprise and guilt, and sadness.

In the haze, Loki stood in the center of Asgard, looking at the earth calmly, like an ice sculpture without blood or emotion.

He watched his brother kiss a woman, accept the sharing of other people's body temperature, and release his desire in another strange body.The mirror shook violently and shattered into pieces.Also shattered, there was a heart that was as cold as ice in the chest cavity.

Loki! ...

Thor reaches out, but only touches the blue TV screen.He wanted to go to him immediately, but there was no trace.He's not the Thor of Asgard now, he's just mortal.He can do nothing but wait.

Thor wanted to laugh to thank Fate for his kindness.

But his laughter sounded like a whimper.

He finally fell asleep peacefully that night.But he still couldn't remember what he dreamed about.

In the later dream, it seemed that someone was laughing vaguely.The thin lips are slightly pursed, like Loki's original look.

A long time later, when many people wrote stories about the evil god, they would emphasize that he was a clever, cunning and wicked giant.There are different versions of each story, many of which are based on real evidence, but many of them are just legends and speculations.

The people who wrote these stories had already given him a clear positioning of evil in their hearts. They only heard of the evil god's cruelty and sophistry, and forgot the soft nature he once had.People had no chance to see his true heart, he erected a high wall, and sealed himself in a dark place that even he couldn't touch.What was the original appearance, perhaps no one can answer.

Odin still remembers Loki's original appearance.

The year he brought Loki back, Frigga had the same dream several times. She dreamed of a gray-blue snake winding its way across the golden palace, wrapping around the pillars and looking at her, docile and cold.When she woke up, Odin placed a little life in her arms. Loki has always been very quiet, unlike Thor who is lively and energetic jumping up and down, he is always quietly meditating, seems to have an innate peculiarity, but never refuses to tell others what he is thinking.Everything about him is very normal, except that the cloud of smoke created by his fingertips invisibly isolates him from others. When he is meditating, he has rich expressions, sometimes smiling, and sometimes frowning deeply.In contrast, his brother Thor is like a lion with too much hormones and energy in adolescence with nowhere to vent.The appearance of the two children is very suitable for such a personality. They grow up in the eyes of the public, but they are not as natural as expected.

Whether it's a blessing or a curse, this is the future, and Odin doesn't want to face it so soon.

Time was so fast that a heavy object fell freely, and Odin had no time to speculate on the future, and crisis and conflict suddenly loomed in front of him.

The frost giants still hold a grudge against that war, Laufey's army is eager to regain the former glory, and Asgard may be taken advantage of by the frost giants at any time.Odin alone cannot completely resist their attack.He realized that he was old and could not do many things.When he rushed to Jothuheim to save Tho and the others, Laufey could see that the All-Father was tired.The evil spirit snickered.His act of letting Thor and the others leave tolerantly was not because of fear, but because he wanted to wait for the opportunity-when the heavenly father fell, the frost giant would be able to flatten this golden kingdom in one fell swoop.And Thor's exile on Earth is a great opportunity for them to counterattack.

Asgard needs a pillar.But the pillar at the moment won't be Thor, who is too foolish to actually defend his country. Odin does not regret his decision, Thor must learn to live among humans, curb his recklessness, and be a true hero.And Loki, another son of Odin, seems to be calm as before, but no one knows that he is wrestling with his own heart.

Both honed their characters in different ways.Get better, or get worse.

After Loki returned to Asgard, Odin didn't say anything.He pretended not to know that this period of time for the disappearance of the evil god seemed very long, but it couldn't match the time concept of the gods.

He knew his kid was just going to meet his older brother. Loki has had a kind of determination and heroism since he was a child. As long as it is something he wants to do, even if it will be smashed to pieces, he must devote himself to it.Everyone has fear and impetuous emotions about the uncertain future, but Loki seems to live with the mood of knowing the future.He lives in his own world, seemingly in a trance isolated from the world, but he clearly understands every step he takes in his heart.

Odin sometimes wonders if Loki, who had sneaked into the library that time, had read the Nibelungenlied.Later he overturned this assumption - if he had seen it earlier, Loki would have known his parentage.Thinking of this, Odin felt that he was too cruel.

Thor's return is nowhere in sight.

It's not like Odin didn't think of Loki when Asgard was in danger.

Though he'd prefer Loki to be the one to be protected, no matter who.

The All-Father is a selfish and shameless old man.

He thought so.

That day, after discussing state affairs with his ministers, he called Loki to his study.He seldom called anyone into his study, and no one was an exception.

With mixed emotions, Loki listened to what the guard told him verbatim.He didn't know what was waiting for him.In my memory, my father seldom talked to him.When he walked into his father's room and quietly stepped on the ground paved with gold bricks, the air froze with the inaudible footsteps.There was an unnerving silence in the room.

Odin wasn't wearing armor, he was wearing casual clothes, his back was turned to Loki, making it difficult to see his expression clearly.Maybe he'd be speechless to Loki.

"I've been feeling a little tired lately," said Heavenly Father.He realized that his voice came out earlier than he imagined, and the All-Father hated this kind of mood like confessing the funeral.

"I don't know when I will fall into a deep sleep again. Although I don't expect anything to happen." When he said this, he coughed intermittently and couldn't stop intermittently.

Loki took a small step towards Odin's back, but backed away.

After Odin managed to catch his breath, he continued, "If someone violates Asgard while I'm asleep, I... hope you will hold onto it."

What could have been said with determination, he suddenly had courage in the second half of the sentence, and he said to his son.

"Hold it. For me, for everyone."

Odin's words were low-pitched, but to Loki they were no less than thunder.He moved slightly towards the back of his father.He still remembers how he listened to this request with trepidation and mixed feelings at that time.Although he couldn't believe his father's words for a while, it was not easy for him to remain unmoved by his father's trust and trust.

He has been looking for his own value like a child without self-confidence.From the day when he had a clear understanding of himself, he swayed between his elder brother and his father, and the affirmation he longed for came from the two of them.All the love of the former and the [-]% trust of the latter can become the driving force for his survival.Only the approval of these two people he loves most will give him true satisfaction.

He returned to Asgard sadly from Earth, almost feeling that he had lost the need for existence.Now his father's trust in him was just giving him an overly warm hug and comfort.He is willing to die for this touch.

He said, "I will. I swear."

Odin turned to look at Loki, as if trying to discern if the seriousness on the kid's face was real.

During the days when Loki was in his life, he was conflicted.He couldn't deny that he loved the kid, but he couldn't figure out where Loki stood when he found out about his parentage.Over the years, he thought about how profound Asgard meant to Loki, although Loki and Thor fought side by side in many cases, using magic to release smoke to cover Thor's escape when he was defeated by force.In this way, they charged forward, marched forward bravely, and cooperated seamlessly.

It's just that Loki's blood and passion stem from the sense of belonging of family and blood.He is proud of who he is.

This is precisely what worries Odin the most.

Odin looks at Loki, his son, the stubborn and paranoid child who always wants his approval.This is not to compete with Thor, nor is it something to show off, it requires a willingness from the heart, one's own responsibility and loyalty to Asgard, and he agreed without hesitation.

The harder Loki promised, the more frightened Odin became.

He stood for a long time before saying,

"I don't want you to agree so quickly."

Then he said,

"This is just the last help and struggle of a confused old man."

Loki's gaze drops. Odin went on to say,

"Don't pay attention to my words, I just want to hear you say that I am willing, that's enough."

"I've had enough," Odin said.

"But I'm serious." Loki raised his head, smiled slightly, and said, "Give me a chance to protect my country."

"No, Loki..." Odin eagerly withdrew his original request, "Your father is selfish. For the sake of Asgard, he actually sent his son to the battlefield."

"I would," he said quietly.

"Loki, your answer is enough."

"Father, please allow me to do something for this country, for you, for everyone." Loki covered his heart with his hands, knelt down on one knee, and said word by word, "I will It is an honor to hold my sword against the foe, and my spirit endures in the land of Asgard and returns triumphant in eternity."

That was Aesir's oath before the expedition.

Loki is swearing to the Gungnir in Odin's hand, once he swears to this gun, he can't go back on it.

"In the name of the Son of Odin, let the invaders pay!"

He finished what he wanted to say most in his life.

Loki leaves.

A gust of wind pierced through the bedroom, and Odin became even more silent.His eyes are getting cloudy under his gray hair, he is old, and his body is getting tired.He swiped his finger across the mirror in front of him, and the surface of the mirror blurred like ripples in still water.The young Loki in the mirror approached on a staggering horse, raised his face and smiled and said, Father, I can ride a horse now, it's not difficult at all.

Odin took him off the horse and reprimanded him angrily, who let you ride the horse?How dangerous! Loki felt aggrieved, and said, I just learned to ride a horse to become a warrior earlier. Odin said, I don't need you to be a warrior, you are by my side and don't cause trouble, that's more important than anything else!

After saying that, Odin left Loki. Loki looked at Odin's back and shouted, but I want to be a warrior and a hero of Asgard!

Odin still walked forward, without stopping, let alone looking back.The voice behind him gradually died down, but the sound of sobbing could be heard faintly. Loki cried.

Odin slowed down, he wanted to comfort Loki, even if he said "I'm just worried about your safety", but he didn't say anything, and the inarticulate Father left Loki just like that.

The next day, Odin knocked on the door of Loki's room and pulled Loki to see a docile pony he had prepared for him.Watching Loki lovingly stroking the horse, he asked his father if he could ride it with an inquiring look. Odin didn't say anything, just picked Loki up on the horse, and Loki giggled happily, and he pulled the rein, letting the horse gallop gently.

Now that the Asgard sun was shining on Loki, the white horse seemed to be gilded with gold.In Odin's field of vision, all the past memories suddenly came to the fore.

The appearance of a small baby crying in the temple.

He conjured up a necklace to amuse his mother's happy expression.

The mouth pouted after being scolded by the king for the first time.

Overlaid with the figure now riding the horse, so perfect and so precious it almost brought Odin to tears.

Loki circled the castle, tightened his reins, and said to Odin like a little warrior, "I'm a warrior now, and when you need me one day, I'll stand up and protect you."

"No need." Odin hugged him off the horse and said in a deep voice, "There won't be such a day."

But Loki, basking in his own joy, blinked and leaned into Odin's ear regardless, "Father, I love you."

Odin turned around as if he didn't hear, and said into the distance, "You should go back." Loki led the horse, looking at his father with some reluctance and hesitation.

Odin didn't look at him, he was afraid, afraid that one day Loki would leave him.He was afraid that Loki would hate him in the end, and although he had made all the preparations, he was still afraid that the hatred would come unexpectedly.

Later, every time he recalled this moment, his heart ached unceasingly. His mood was the same as that of all the loving fathers in the world, but he never expressed it, and he dared not express it. He was afraid that the final truth would hurt Loki and hurt Loki. he himself.

He regretted his attitude towards Loki these years, his eyes that looked at everything saw the tears welling up in Loki's eyes more than once, those green eyes that shone in the dark had so much meaning to him where he couldn't see eager.But he comforted himself by saying that Loki still had hope for the future, he and his brother, Thor would never let go of Loki's hand no matter what.

On the day Odin left the kingdom of giants, he learned from the time giant that Loki sold his soul for his eyes.He returned to this room with a face of indifference, closed the door gently, and was left alone. He slowly took off his armor, put on a white nightgown, and looked at his face in the mirror, bit by bit. Carefully rubbing the gold eyepatch.Finally, he couldn't hold it back anymore, and tears welled up from the remaining eye.

Even a child who often gets into trouble will inevitably be moved when he learns that he gave his soul for himself.

Even if he has no blood relationship with him, he will have mixed feelings when he knows that he tried his best to give him a big gift for his birthday.

Even if it is a race of other countries or even evil forces, when he feels his inextricably thick love and despair, he will be heartbroken and suffocated.

He was really scared, scared like never before, Loki's love scared him so much.He couldn't bear so much love, and he was afraid that he would lose it one day.

Maybe it's because I was too kind to him in the past, maybe it's because of the pampering I gave him back then, which made him unforgettable all my life, but because I deliberately took it back, his character became sensitive and extreme. Loki still doesn't understand that bloodline is the despair that Odin can't resist. Even though Loki grew up in a warm country and became the prince of Asgard under his protection, one day he will know how cold his real home is and how homeland is. Incompleteness, how many secrets and ugliness there are in the war between races... Those are not acceptable to him.That's when the real tragedy comes.If Loki hated him now, he'd feel less pain then.If he is full of love and expectation, it will be beyond redemption.Because he still has consciousness, when facing the cruel reality, he will definitely feel more painful.

He was secretly thankful that he had given Loki a second life, if not for him, Loki would have starved to death in the temple or been destroyed by the frost giants.But up to now, he couldn't be thankful, when he had a premonition of Loki's hatred and departure, he really couldn't be thankful, because maybe Loki would have preferred him to die on the temple in the first place.

You can predict the future, but you can't predict what you want to know most. Odin began to have some lengthy dreams.He dreamed that Loki just left Asgard, never came back, and walked towards the icy mountains step by step.Even if he has a rainbow bridge, the eight-legged horse can't catch up with him.

Loki Odinson... that stubborn kid dropped his last name.

After all, we never met again.

He buried his most sincere feelings deep in his heart and never let the second person know.Caressing the distant figure of Loki in the mirror, the mist blurred in front of the mirror, the old Odin was speechless, and shed tears again.

The young Loki in the mirror led the horse, stopped, and looked back as if hearing something.