forgive me for not being able to touch you

After An Ya settled down, the two thought about each other.Yan Binyang deeply felt that there was something in Anya's heart that they didn't know. One of the insiders didn't want to say it, and the other couldn't tell it clearly, but it was related to him and Feiran. Maybe he could know what happened back then!

Ye Yue glanced at the thoughtful Yan Binyang, opened her mouth, but didn't know how to speak, what to tell him?Comfort him, or accompany him to search for the past, roll through that painful memory again, and lose his mind again?No, it's impossible!

"Ye Yue..." A soft call pulled him back to his senses, and he saw Yan Binyang looking at him with concern, "What's wrong?" "Don't worry, I'll be fine, but I need to find out about this matter. "Otherwise I won't be reconciled!

Ye Yue took his hand and patted it on the palm, "Well, I will find out!"

Yan Binyang nodded and left the nursing home with him.

"What's for dinner?" Ye Yue asked while driving, but Yan Binyang remained silent and just shook his head.

Ye Yue sighed and patted his head, "Then let's go home!"

Then he turned around and went back to his apartment.

After Ye Yue took a shower, she went to the bedroom and saw Yan Binyang lying on the bed with her eyes open and she didn't know what she was thinking.

He walked over to sit on the edge of the bed and leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek.He kissed gently, all the way down.

"Ye Yue, stop making trouble. I'm still wondering if Feiran knows about this, if... um..." Yan Binyang was kissed before he finished speaking. He was not as gentle as before, but rather angry The beast, red-eyed, teased his tongue in his mouth.

He was still propping up the bed with one hand, and with the other hand he picked up his clothes and slid them on his body. His movements were rude, and he didn't care that Yan Binyang's face had changed.

Finally, he let go of his mouth, buried it between his neck, and gritted his teeth in a low voice, "Binyang, you are mine, I don't allow you to miss him!"

Yan Binyang bowed his head to the side weakly, without words.

Seeing his indifference, Ye Yue became even more angry. He put his weight on him, Yan Binyang groaned, but remained silent.

He kneaded the dogwood on his chest with one hand, and lifted his belt skillfully with the other, finally, at the moment when the button was remembered, Yan Binyang began to struggle, "Ye Yue, what are you doing, let me go! "

Ye Yue couldn't control her emotions anymore, he stretched out his hand and pulled out his belt, and with the other hand, he raised Yan Binyang's hands above his head, and quickly tied a knot on the bed with the belt.

Yan Binyang's eyes were full of fear, why did Ye Yue suddenly become so strange? !

"Say! You love me." Ye Yue's voice was low and hoarse, with a tender youhuo.Yan Binyang was startled, stopped struggling, and then chuckled, "Ye Yue, this is not love."

It's like being drenched in a basin of ice water. In this not-so-warm March, it's so cold to the bottom of my heart.

"I'm sorry." He said dully, got up from him, untied his belt, pulled his clothes, covered him with a quilt, and went out to close the door without saying a word.

"哐" The sound of the door being closed made Yan Binyang's body tremble, he hugged himself tightly, and huddled into a ball as much as possible, it was so cold.

Ye Yue sat on the sofa slumped, he suddenly found that the apartment was too big and deserted, there was no one to talk to.where to?bar?nightclub?These are all the places he liked to go to a few years ago.

It's not love, what does that mean?Is it his own wishful thinking, or is there still a sense of embarrassment in his heart?

No, no, Ye Yue patted her head angrily, what was he thinking! ?What is he doing, is he crying?He looked sad just now.

After struggling for more than half an hour, Ye Yue still couldn't control her mood, went upstairs, pushed open the door of the master bedroom, and saw a small lump on the bed, which seemed to be still shaking.

"Binyang, what's the matter with you?" He walked quickly to the bed and lifted the quilt, only to see Yan Binyang huddled into a ball, shivering, his eyes closed tightly, his face pale.

Hearing his voice, Yan Binyang opened his eyes with difficulty, his voice was weak, "Ye Yue, I'm cold."

cold?Ye Yue reached out to touch his forehead, it was cold, but his palms and body were hot.

what happened? "Binyang, lie down first, I'll call the doctor over, and hold on for a while." Then he covered him with a quilt, took out his mobile phone and called a doctor in the hospital to ask him to come home.

"...Ye...Ye Yue, I'm so uncomfortable...so uncomfortable..." Yan Binyang's face was wrinkled into a ball in pain, which made his heart ache.

Ye Yue leaned over and hugged him, kissed him, "It's okay, I'm here, it's okay." Now he only thinks of this way to calm his emotions.He had completely forgotten about the rest!

"Doctor Ye, there's nothing serious about him, it's just psychological and emotional. You're better at this than me." After speaking, he packed up his things and left.

Ye Yue looked at Yan Binyang who was asleep, and tucked the quilt up for him. He just added some sleeping pills into the syringe.

He has heard that emotions in the heart lead to physical diseases, but the frequency of clinical trials of that kind is only 1.2%. Binyang has an emotional physique, which is incredible!

Psychology, psychology, this is his specialty, what method should he use to regulate his emotions?what way?Psychological transfer?Psychological litigation?He's in a mess!

He forced himself to be quiet, not to think about it, sat on the edge of the bed, took his hand, and rubbed it on his cheek, "Binyang, Binyang..."

Yan Binyang woke up and found himself lying in the bedroom, thinking that what happened before was a dream.Just when he moved, he found that his hand was being held down. Looking up, it was Ye Yue, who fell asleep holding his hand with his head sideways, his lips were tightly pressed, his eyes were blue, did he stay up late?

He secretly tried to pull his hand out lightly, but when he felt his struggle, Ye Yue opened his eyes and subconsciously said, "Binyang, don't go!"

What responded to him was Yan Binyang's embarrassed face, his eyeballs rolled around, "I didn't leave."

Ye Yue smiled awkwardly, let go of him, and rubbed his fluffy hair, "I'll do whatever you want to eat."

Yan Binyang lifted the quilt, got out of bed, put on a windbreaker, turned his head and smiled at him, "I'm not hungry." Then he stopped at the door and turned his back to him, with a soft voice, "Ye Yue, go upstairs Come down, I have something to tell you."

Ye Yue's heart skipped a beat, she froze, followed behind him, trying to make herself look normal, "Binyang, it's not too late for us to eat something first, isn't it?"

Yan Binyang has already arrived downstairs, sitting on the sofa, looking at him with an incomprehensible expression, "Maybe we won't have a chance to talk in the future."

"Binyang, what do you mean, you're playing with me! Oh, I'm coming down, I really can't do anything about you!" Ye Yue felt that she had become very stupid, and hurried down, Sitting next to him, patted his leg, "Speak, I'll listen."

Yan Binyang took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled: "Ye Yue, you are a straight man!" His tone was a little stiff, which made Ye Yue's whole heart hang, yes, he is a straight man.

"So, you shouldn't provoke me." Yan Binyang looked gloomy, "Your Ye family has a great career, you can find a good woman to start a family..." "Stop! Stop! Yan Binyang, just tell me what you mean! Don't talk about breaking up with me, don't talk about the door, there is no window!" Ye Yue was upset, and interrupted him with gestures.

"Do you know why I said that's not love?" The sudden question confused Ye Yue.Then he asked, "Why?"

"Because you're not gay, you don't understand what I'm thinking." Yan Binyang lowered his head, as if disappointed.

Ye Yue almost jumped up from the sofa, "Yan Binyang, you can't be so heartless! I took you to see my father, and my father agreed, what the hell am I doing? I just want to be with you Together?! What are you in the mood for?" Ye Yue suddenly felt that she had been gentle for more than [-] years, and it was the first time she was so angry, so very wronged!

After he finished yelling, there was a thin laugh, as if he had heard the funniest thing in the world, Yan Binyang raised his head and rubbed his eyes, "Who said he agreed? He said responsibility, in your hands In a world where the responsibility lies with the woman, not the man."

"Why are you so nervous when you wake up early in the morning?" Ye Yue frowned like a distant mountain, and he strode out the door, "I'm going out to buy food."

The door was slammed shut, and then there was a loud locking sound. Yan Binyang slid down on the sofa like a balloon that had been evacuated, and raised his hand to cover the dense sunlight coming in. He suddenly remembered a movie " The Fox and Me", look, does he look like the fox who provokes troubles but is unwilling to be imprisoned?

He stood up, walked over with heavy steps and opened the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the wind rushed in. He walked to the balcony, leaned on the railing and looked down. There was a crowd of people.The sunshine in March is not warm, and it is cold when it shines on the body.

The fox finally jumped from the round window on the second floor and fell on a piece of glass shards. If he jumped from here, he should have crushed an innocent passerby.Fortunately, the injured fox was sent back to nature by the girl, so what about him, who will collect his body?

Floating clouds cover the sun, like a smiling face with a strange smile.Yan Binyang trembled unconsciously, feeling sad.Ye Yue is not gay, he doesn't need to enter this circle for himself.Many people go the wrong way because of misunderstandings, he doesn't want Ye Yue to abandon his arrogance and luxury for him now, but regret it in the days to come.

To put it bluntly, the devastated world scares him!The current situation made him even more insecure!

Suddenly, a pair of hands surrounded him from behind, and those trembling hands hugged him tightly, as if they wanted to embed him into his bones.

"Binyang, don't scare me..." Ye Yue's voice was trembling, he just opened the door and saw him standing on the balcony, he was so thin, as if a gust of wind could blow him down, his heart was so frightened that he almost jumped His throat was tight, but he dropped his things and ran over to hug him.He suddenly regretted it, regretted letting him stay by his side and compromise, what a bastard!

Yan Binyang just stared at the distant sky and said lightly, "Ye Yue, I once said that I would never say sorry to you in this life. I still remember that you had a car accident for me. Do you know that I almost wanted to take care of you for the rest of my life, but I thought about it later, no, you have a family and a lover, you are not gay like me, you are an ordinary person. Then you came to me with a shameless face, and you found me after hiding from you so many times, so I I wonder if you are also gay, but you just don’t realize it? So I kissed you, I don’t know what kind of feelings I have for you, it’s not like I miss Fei Ran, and it’s not like a simple emotion, maybe, It's the so-called love. You can't get it. What about you?" He turned around and hugged him back and forth, and buried him in his chest, it was really warm.

Like a fox in a little girl's arms.Leaving and reluctant to give up, in this wilderness, it has finally found warmth, but if it does not leave, it can only be anxious and choose extremes. The human world is not his nature.

"Binyang..." Ye Yue's voice choked with sobs.

"Ye Yue, I want to go to the dream hall again." Yan Binyang said sullenly.

"Well." He didn't ask when he would come back, and he didn't know if he would come back. He only knew that his stomach hurt so badly that even tears fell down his face.

Yan Binyang raised his head and looked at him with a smile, his brows were affectionate. "Thank you, Ye Yue." Even smiling made Ye Yue feel distressed.He held Ye Yue's face, kissed away his tears, and whispered in his ear, "I love you, really."

Ye Yue didn't speak, just kissed him, delicate kiss, gentle and tactful.Yan Binyang responded to him, Ye Yue, maybe we haven't had a good time to face love, when everything is settled, I will come back to you.

Kissing and kissing, Yan Binyang's body gradually weakened, Ye Yue took him to the guest room, stumbled along the way, but the two hugged each other tightly, Ye Yue pushed Yan Binyang to the door , while kissing his ear, while reaching out to open the door.The door opened, Yan Binyang almost fell due to the sudden weightlessness, but fortunately Ye Yue held him, so he didn't fall to the ground.Ye Yue took him a few steps and pressed him on the bed, "Binyang, Binyang..." He couldn't stop chanting his name, tears streaming down his face.He unbuttoned his clothes and looked at him with hazy eyes, fair skin, flat belly... "Binyang, you are so beautiful." A faint smile responded to him.

Yan Binyang reached out to help him take off his shirt, and then helped him untie his belt. The nightgown he was wearing was unbuttoned and exposed to the light.