forgive me for not being able to touch you

After that, Yan Binyang saw him every night, sometimes he played basketball by himself, sometimes bought food for him, and sometimes sat beside him and read a book with him.The days go by day by day, Yan Binyang feels that it feels good to have more people around him!

They only know each other's names, not even their classes, but they just remember meeting each other under the basket every night, seeing each other and smiling, and then doing their own things, calm and peaceful.On a rainy day, Yan Binyang sat in the stands of the playground, watching him go round and round the track. He also wanted to run with him in the rain, but he was born weak, so he finally mustered up the courage to run with him , As a result, I caught a bad cold and was hospitalized for a week.

"Half a month ago, I saw Feiran. He was waving at me on the middle school playground. I was about to rush in, but was stopped by the security guard. I finally got through with the security guard, but Feiran disappeared." Yan Binyang As he spoke, his expression dimmed, and then he smiled wryly, "Actually, I know, Fei Ran is long gone."

Seeing the sadness in his eyes, Ye Yue felt an inexplicable heartache, and wanted to comfort him, but suddenly found that she, a neurologist, was at a loss for words.

That... Before he could speak, a ringtone rang. It was his text message. He took out his phone and looked at it. It was Anya who said to go back to his mother tonight.

"Girlfriend?" When he raised his head again, he found that Yan Binyang was teasing, and there was no trace of the previous sadness.Well hidden!

"Yeah." Ye Yue nodded.

Yan Binyang smiled brightly, "Doctor Ye, you and your girlfriend are very happy, I wish you well. This is the end of today, do you want to know the story of tomorrow? Then, please help me find the gashapon, the pattern on it, I I want... a black kitten, Scarlet likes it the most."

Yan Binyang returned to the ward, sat by the bed, staring at his knuckle fingers in a daze.

Obviously he is by her side, and she can clearly see him.

"Yang, what are you thinking about?" A voice that belonged to him came from the top of his head, he looked up, and saw a familiar face, a scarlet face, a face that he thought about day and night.

Yan Binyang smiled at him, "Fei Ran, I told that doctor about our affairs." "Really? What did he say?" "He said..."

Ye Yue thought for a long time, then turned around and suddenly saw Yan Binyang sitting beside the bed talking to himself with a gentle expression.

...

After finishing speaking, Yan Binyang reached out and stroked his hair, "Fei Ran, don't let me think of you again, okay? Do you know how bad I have been in the past five years? I know you are no longer alive, doctor Tell me yourself that you are dead, but you are still by my side every day." He wept, lowered his head, but there was still no shadow at Feiran's feet.

The head was hugged tightly, someone kissed on the top of the head, and the voice was hoarse: "I'm sorry, Yang."

"Yan Binyang!" With a cry, the door was slammed open, and Ye Yue appeared at the door with a nervous expression.

He looked at him for a few seconds, as if he had discovered something, and suddenly turned around, but the familiar figure disappeared.

"Crimson! Scarlet!" He hurriedly called his name, stood up and looked for it in a panic, as if he couldn't see, he stretched out his hand and grabbed around.

A bad premonition arises spontaneously, no, no, Fei Ran will not leave, he is so naughty, how can he be obedient?

Ye Yue grabbed his hand, put it on her heart, and said loudly, "Yan Binyang, Fei Ran is gone, I have a heartbeat, I am alive, what you saw, no!"

Yan Binyang was stunned for a moment, then smiled helplessly, his eyes turned white, and he passed out.

Damn it!While hugging him to bed, Ye Yue blamed herself in her heart, she was too careless, and actually used the most taboo truth education method to tell him the truth.I hope he wakes up not too extreme.

It was almost night after waking up, Yan Binyang rubbed his temples, the night outside fell, and the lights had already been turned on, but he was still gone.That's good, walk clean!

There was no one else in the ward, and he was the only one left. He sat up, his eyes touched a piece of paper, and left a note.

"I'm going back to my hometown first. I need to find a nurse. I'll be back tomorrow."

Oh, what a kind man!Aren't you just a patient yourself, why do you care so much?Not to mention responsibility, if everyone was responsible, Scarlet wouldn't... he wouldn't... like that.

That damn reporter will be sentenced and go to jail!go to hell!go to hell!

He suddenly went crazy, tore the note in his hand to shreds, and threw it into the air.

The world deserves to die!

Ye Yue ate a meal very uneasy, Yan Binyang's injured expression would always appear in his mind, is he awake?have you eaten?Are you emotionally stable?These questions were enough to make him uneasy.

Finally, he finished his meal hastily and was about to go back to the hospital for a look. His mother stopped him, "Are you okay?" It's okay, it's okay.Mom, there is a patient in my hospital..." Ye Yue showed distress, and a look of suspicion flashed in the woman's cloudy eyes. "Oh, patient! "It means a lot.

"Oh, mom, don't worry, it's a man." Anya spoke for him. Ye Yue said that the man was emotionally unstable, so she was probably worried.Ye Yue pulled her and gave him a reproachful look. Ever since her younger brother became like that because of a man, her mother has always been bitter about it. "Mom, it's just a patient. Let's go back first!" Then he dragged Anya away.

Men, gay, gay.These words are taboo in front of the mother.Just because my younger brother loves a man.

My younger brother is a smart child, he is pure and kind, he is the top three in every exam, he is the most favored at home, he is four years older than him, but he has lived so much longer than him.

Because of that incident, my younger brother became a vegetable. He has been living with a weak heartbeat for five years. He has no vitality and no signs of growth. He is still the same as the year of the accident.

Because he also likes men and is trapped by love, he pays so much attention to Yan Binyang, right?There may be other reasons, he doesn't know.

That gentle young man, with those pupils overflowing with sadness, made people feel heartbroken unconsciously.

There's a story in the small town hospital, hey, you know what?Dr. Ye in the psychiatry department is very concerned about Yan Binyang.

Ye Yue also heard about it, but she just smiled, noncommittal.It seems like that, the first thing I do when I wake up every day is to come to the hospital, and I even stayed in the duty room several times when Yan Binyang was emotionally unstable, sleeping on the wooden bed was very uncomfortable, but the next day If he gets better, he thinks it's worth it.Originally, the wedding in half a month has been delayed. At first, he felt that he would live peacefully after getting married, but for some reason, he felt that if he got married, he would be alone again.

Checking the ward as usual, he walked into Yan Binyang's ward alone in a white coat. He was reading a book, and when he saw him coming, he smiled and waved. "It's a bit late today?" "Well, a patient is delayed." He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, touching his head, "Well, the body temperature is normal." He would measure his body temperature in this way every day, Yan Binyang got used to it.

He didn't tell him the story behind it, because he hasn't found a gashapon for so long, and that kind of 80s toy is very rare.

But he would tell him strange things, the so-called talking about life and ideals, and he listened carefully to the nonsense.

But he said, "I have no ideals, because the dream is shattered, and I can't go back when I fall into reality." He smiled indifferently, as if nothing was important.

"Then... there is no one or anything you care about?" Ye Yue asked nervously.

He looked at him seriously, and after looking at him for a long time, he said slowly, "I don't have anyone close except Feiran. My parents had a car accident when I was traveling in my freshman year of high school. Five years ago, Feiran... well, that's fine." , carefree, carefree, at least no one will be sad when he dies."

Ye Yue opened her mouth, but didn't say anything, she just thought in her heart, I will!

"By the way, Doctor Ye, we are friends, so can you scatter my ashes on Feiran's grave in the future? I want to be with him." Even if we cannot be together.

Ye Yue looked at him and nodded solemnly, "I will definitely send you to him."