15 diary

"Yiran, have you recovered?" Lu Jue put down the book and said with a faint smile, "I'm sorry, I haven't seen you all this time."

Xie Yiran walked in with a heavy expression on his face. His heart was twisted like a knife. Seeing that everyone became like this because of him, what should he do?Could this be what Ji Bei said? Lu Jue didn't want to embarrass himself, so he didn't let anyone talk about his situation.

"Lu Jue, you've been here...why didn't you let me know?"

Lu Jue smiled calmly, "I just don't want to disturb you."

"How's your leg?"

"very good."

An stood aside, glanced at the two people in front of him, and finally couldn't help but said: "Mr. Xie, Mr. Lu's legs are inseparable from crutches for the rest of his life."

"An!" Lu Jue's calm smile suddenly cooled down, and he glanced at An: "Go out."

Xie Yiran's eyes were hot. He had never seen Lu Jue treat An like this before, and he had never seen An be so impulsive. Just like Lin Fei just now, she couldn't help but want to leak the secret to herself, even if she knew that would change her. Come Lu Jue's fury.

An sighed, turned and left.

Xie Yiran looked at Lu Jue's leg under the quilt, and he reached out to touch it: "I'm sorry, does it still hurt?"

Lu Jue smiled and said, "It doesn't hurt, I don't feel much anymore." He said it so easily, but Xie Yiran felt that a knife had been stabbed in his heart.

"Still, it's okay. Don't blame yourself." Lu Jue said lightly.

"I'm going abroad the day after tomorrow... Accompany Yu Chuan to Germany for treatment." Xie still lowered his head, he hardly dared to look at Lu Jue now.His harmless smile is like a mirror, almost completely reflecting his anxiety and guilt.

But I had no choice but to give him another explanation, and I was destined to owe him a lifetime of guilt.

Lu Jue just didn't speak. After a long time, he smiled faintly: "Oh, then...do you have anything to tell me?"

"Lu Jue...I'm sorry..." Xie Yiran stood up with red eyes, and ran out towards the door.

Back in Yu Chuan's ward, Xie was still a little out of his mind. Looking at Yu Chuan's fascinated eyes on the racing car on TV, Xie still knew that he owed Yu Chuan this too.

Yu Chuan pointed to the TV for Xie Yiran to watch: "Yiran, look, that's me, my team won the rally the year before last, and our team became famous at that time! And the team behind was our sponsor at that time, isn't it handsome? "

Xie Yiran smiled and nodded, saying that he was tired and wanted to go back to rest early today.

Yu Chuan was in a very good mood these two days, and said with a smile: "Well, good! You still go back to rest, don't worry about me, we are going abroad the day after tomorrow, do you want to bring anything?"

"No need, I don't have anything to bring over there." Xie Yiran stood up: "You have a good rest, I'll go back first."

The next day, Xie Yiran stewed pork ribs for Yu Chuan, and stewed a portion for Lu Jue.

When An opened the door for Xie Yiran to enter, Lu Jue was practicing walking on the balcony with a cane. When Xie Yiran came in and saw this scene, he almost couldn't even hold the soup pot in his hand steadily.

Seeing Lu Jue bent slightly, taking small steps tentatively, Xie Yiran felt very sad.

He never thought that one day, Lu Jue would need to use a cane to spend his life.

Lu Jue turned around and saw Xie Yiran coming in, immediately put the crutches aside, and sat down by the bed to hide his embarrassment.

Yes, how could such a serious and calm person like him accept the life of being on crutches in front of others?

"I'm practicing..." Xie Yiran said, but regretted that his words had caused Lu Jue embarrassment.

Lu Jue smiled and said, "Yeah, I didn't expect to be inseparable from it in the future. I want to get used to it first. It will be even uglier if I wrestle again."

Xie still lowered his head and put the soup in front of Lu Jue: "...I made soup for you, would you... drink it?"

"Of course I drank it, maybe... this is the last time I drink something you made for me." Lu Jue smiled, took the soup and opened it.

The rich aroma of bone soup is lifted, and it is fragrant.Lu Jue sniffed it, took a sip, and said with a smile, "It's delicious, especially precious."

Xie still didn't speak any more, he just hoped that time would be faster, he could no longer face Lu Jue like this, he seemed to regard the last time he spent with himself as the end of the world, and he was reluctant to say and behave.

"Yet, I'm going back to the United States too. The plane at two o'clock this afternoon is in a hurry, so I took off at the airport here." Lu Jue put on the soup cover: "Grandpa wants to hand over Venus to me. Management, I have to leave."

Xie still didn't speak.I chose Yu Chuan, how would I face Lu Jue...

Lu Jue held his hand: "Yiran, I know that doing this will embarrass you, but... I'm afraid I'll regret it, if I let you choose... Would you like to go to America with me?"

Xie Yiran was very sad, I don’t know, I really don’t know, I really can’t help it, if I choose Lu Jue, I will abandon Yu Chuan, but I have already promised Yu Chuan...

Seeing that Xie Yiran hadn't spoken for a long time, Lu Jue finally just smiled lightly, with a bitter smile, and he slowly let go of Xie Yiran's hand.

"I know, you won't choose me. Maybe I should have known earlier that what I think you like me all the time is really just my wishful thinking." Lu Jue closed her eyes heavily , smiled and said: "Yiran, I decided to give up on you... I shouldn't drag you down with my appearance."

"Lu Jue..." Xie Yiran's eyes were red.

Lu Jue just shook his head indifferently: "I used to think that I could walk into your heart, I thought I could replace him, but I couldn't. What I did was to pester you and trouble you all the time, just to take advantage of your kindness I am the most despicable person who kidnaps you constantly, so you don’t have to feel guilty or blame yourself.”

Xie Yiran shook his head: "That's not the case..." He didn't know why?The feeling in my heart is so painful, so sad, seeing Lu Jue like this makes me feel so sad, why does what he said make my heart feel like it's being screwed up?

Lu Jue looked at Xie Yiran affectionately, reluctantly.He has always loved him so deeply, but now he wants to let go. He just doesn't want him to make a painful choice. He is still so kind, and he can't leave Yu Chuan alone.Although he didn't choose himself, he was always ashamed in his heart.So, let it go.

"Yiran, I'm going to let go," Lu Jue held Xie Yiran's hand, his eyes were full of tenderness: "Can I... kiss you for the last time? No coercion, no deceit."

Xie Yiran finally couldn't hold back the tears and nodded.

Lu Jue smiled. He held Xie Yiran's face, cherishing it like a treasure. He will always be as good-looking as when he first met him, and he will never change.He is always as quiet and pure as he was when he was a child, and as kind as he was in junior high school. He is the one who is so clean and stubborn that he will never get it.

Xie Yiran returned to Yu Chuan's ward. Yu Chuan had already finished the whole pot of soup, and he did not forget to pick and eat the rest of the meat with chopsticks in his left hand.

Seeing Xie Yiran come in, he smiled proudly: "Look, I seem to be able to use chopsticks in my left hand."

Xie still nodded, as if he was not in any mood.

Yu Chuan curled his lips, and coaxed with a smile: "Yiran, are you unhappy? You don't have much to say recently."

"No, I'm just tired recently and I want to take a rest."

Yu Chuan smiled and said, "Okay, you should have a good rest!" As he spoke, he patted the space beside his bed: "Do you want to come up and sleep?"

Xie Yiran smiled and said, "No need, I...don't sleep, just sit and rest."

"Then... would you sit next to me?" Yu Chuan didn't smile anymore, for some reason?When he said this, there was a bit of reluctance in his expression: "You just sit here and get closer to me."

Xie still didn't know why he felt that U Chuan had such an expression?In the end, he couldn't bear to refuse, so he took a stool and sat beside Yu Chuan's bed, watching TV with him for a while.

Yu Chuan watched TV, he stretched out his left hand, and held Xie Yiran's hand carefully, Xie Yiran was taken aback, but Yu Chuan held it tighter: "Yiran, just for a while, I won't hold your hand again without your consent. hand, okay?"

Xie still didn't speak, and let U Chuan hold his hand, watching the racing channel with him.

The time was very quiet. Half an hour passed quietly, and no one spoke again.

Xie Yiran gradually fell asleep, and Yu Chuan turned his eyes away from the TV, and began to look at Xie Yiran with great cherishment.

He fell asleep, his eyelashes were long, and they still trembled when he was asleep, as if he was dreaming something?The nose is neither high nor low, the tip of the nose is small and delicate, the lips are always subconsciously tight, the color is light, and it looks very fragile.

When I saw him for the first time, I was fascinated by him. His helpless look, and the look of being all right made my heart move.

But his eyelashes are covered with drops of water now. In fact, he himself doesn’t know that every time he falls asleep beside him recently, he babbles that name in his dreams over and over again, making himself very tired. Sad, very distressed.

"Lu Jue...Lu Jue..." Xie Yiran called softly.He opened his eyes, it was past one o'clock.

Yu Chuan was not around, the bedding on the bed was not folded, and everything in the room was still there, but the magazines were gone.

"Yu Chuan?" Xie Yiran called out, but no one in the ward answered.

I went out of the ward and asked the nurse if he had seen where the patient in the seventh ward had gone?

The nurse at the nurse's station took out an envelope from the folder and said with a smile, "Mr. Ji asked us to hand it over to you. His family members have helped him complete the discharge procedures and he has been discharged."

"Discharged?" Xie Yiran asked in surprise, "When did you leave?"

Another handsome guy left, the nurse was very sorry, and pursed her lips: "Just left."

Xie Yiran didn't have time to think too much, took the envelope and rushed to the elevator, waited downstairs and rushed out of the hospital gate, only to catch up with the taillights of a limousine going away, and go away in a hurry.

Xie still tightly clutched the envelope in his hand, looking for Yu Chuan's figure everywhere, the traffic was passing by on the road, but which car was the one to pick him up?

Yu Chuan sat in the car and took a look through the rear glass, and he was still standing there, he was still anxiously looking for himself, and the thin figure had gradually drifted away as the car started moving.

Still, thank you for your kindness, but I can't touch it anymore.It turned out that I had never been able to get close.

Xie Yiran watched the cars around him keep going away, and felt a little inexplicably sad. He seemed to have guessed Yu Chuan's intentions.

Opening the envelope, it was written by U Chuan:

"Still, I love you. Very, very much.

But with the existence of that person, my love becomes superfluous, it will only bring troubles to you.

Still, I thought I could replace Lu Jue, as long as I grasp the opportunity, as long as I pretend I don't know anything.But when I see you often cry in deep sleep, I know that I can't replace you.Because your tears proved to me that he has actually lived in your dream and your heart.

And I, in fact, have never been able to get close to you, those close, are all illusions.

Your tears make me feel guilty and make my selfishness nowhere to hide.

You shed tears for me because of guilt, but you shed tears for him because of love.

Maybe even you don't know it, you love him!I have fallen in love to the point where I dare not face it.

...I always knew that you don't love me, but still... I love you, maybe one day, I will marry someone else, maybe not, but no matter who is standing next to me in the future, I will Can't forget, I've always loved you.My love for you can be let go, but I can't forget.

Still, don't worry about me, Mom and Dad have already found the best doctor for me, and when I get better, I will come to see you. "

Xie Yiran's eyes were red and tears fell.Yu Chuan, I hope you get better and I hope you are happy.

The author has something to say:

Today's finale, two chapters in a row (^_^)