You are the sunny scenery in my heart

"You came to me because you want to talk to me, right?" I intentionally changed the subject.

"Of course not," Lao Zhang continued after taking a sip of his wine, "I'm actually...in fact, I'm..."

"What's the matter with you? Tell me, hesitating."

Lao Zhang suddenly looked at me with a serious expression. The colorful lights in the bar should be on his face, making his beard colorful. He lowered his voice: "I have AIDS!"

Hearing this sentence, I felt as if I had been hit hard on the back of the head by a stick, my whole body trembled, and the drunkenness that came slowly disappeared in an instant, and I looked at him in horror.

"Not long ago, after Sun Hongwei and Zhou Ran got married, once I got sexual and had nowhere to vent, so I went to the software to make an appointment with someone. When I first met him, I saw him as a very listless person. Always in a world-weary tone, as if the world owed him tens of thousands. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I thought it might be because I was kicked by some wolf-hearted person. To comfort a lost boy..."

Old Zhang lowered his head in shame.

"This kind of person is too sinful. Since he knows that he is sick, why do he come out and mess around?"

Lao Zhang calmed down slightly, and said slowly: "At first I didn't understand why he did this, but these days I understand a little bit, we... have a lump in our hearts, it's very heavy, and it directly drags us down Going to the bottom of this society, it is bleak. That person must not be able to face himself, and he will not be relieved, so he has the heart of revenge against the society."

"You let him go?"

"When I was found positive just now, I was so angry that I brought a group of people out to beat him up, but when I saw him kneeling on the ground crying with tears all over his face, thinking that he was suffering from the fear of AIDS at this time, I felt that he was very sad. Pitiful."

"Even if you beat him to death, what's the use?" I looked at Lao Zhang regretfully, "Is there any way to treat him?"

"Treatment? I should take some medicine now." Lao Zhang's eyes suddenly became haggard. "But don't worry about it for the time being. The doctor said that this disease doesn't show anything every ten or eight years."

For some reason, when I heard Lao Zhang say these words, I could hear a sense of righteousness and awe-inspiring tenacity to die.

"You won't go..."

"Anji, don't worry about this. I know my character very well. Although I haven't done any good things in my whole life, I haven't done many wicked things. I know how severe this disease is..."

In addition to sadness, there is also inconceivable that a good person will get sick if he gets sick.Suddenly exhausted physically and mentally, no matter what, Lao Zhang is someone I owe, and I have to help him if there are some things I can help.Make an appointment with him to go to a bigger hospital the next day for a thorough checkup. AIDS is too easy to be misdiagnosed.

The train ticket was refunded, and she didn't go back for the time being. She didn't tell Xin Jing the reason for staying, and she didn't ask too much.Help me transport my things back to the place where I used to live. After leaving for so many days, it is still covered with dust.

I got up very early the next day, because I came back too late yesterday, so I just cleaned up the room hastily, and cleaned it inside and out this morning.Lao Zhang came to pick me up at my house, and the two of us went to eat fried dough sticks and tofu nao.About the time the doctor was going to work, the two rushed to the hospital by taxi.

After the examination, the doctor came over and said, "I'll get the test results in three days. Also, I suggest you do the examination as well." The doctor suddenly looked at me and said to me meaningfully.Suddenly it occurred to me that Yang Lin and I had once... Then I was very scared, that Yang Lin also had HIV, right?If that's the case, wouldn't I...

"He doesn't need it, we don't have that kind of relationship." Lao Zhang hurriedly explained to the doctor.

The doctor's pupils dilated for a moment, realizing that he had made a slip of the tongue, and apologized to me incessantly.

Quickly calm down my mood, smiled, and said to the doctor: "I will do one too!" He spoke frankly, but he was still nervous when drawing blood, for fear that he would really contract a nightmare-like infection because of that person. sick.If I was really unlucky, wouldn't I be even more unqualified to play a pair with Zhou Ran?Even more invincible to Sun Hongwei?He was better than me.

"Don't worry, it's fine. The main reason is that I thought you two just now..." The doctor said to me in a domineering tone.

Suddenly I felt that I was so ridiculous, I was obviously fine, but I thought of such a tragic consequence so wildly.

While letting go of the big stone in my heart, I couldn't help worrying about Lao Zhang. "But why did my test result come out so quickly, and why did the person outside the door have to wait so long?"

The doctor looked up at me, breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Because, it is very likely that he is really infected with AIDS. We dare not judge lightly, and further diagnosis is needed."

When I went out, I saw Lao Zhang sitting on a chair with his head leaning back against the wall.Coupled with the promenade where passers-by are rushing, I feel that Lao Zhang is a capitalized sadness.His beard is no longer as sharp as it used to be, and in the sun, it is interlaced with gray and golden colors, making it even more decadent.

"You're back, what did the doctor say."

"The doctor said...and let me get the results in three days."

After hearing this, Lao Zhang was startled, looked at me with wide eyes, immediately stood up, and walked to my side, "You, don't you..."

"Maybe! The test results haven't come out, so it's too early to say." I forced a smile.I don't know why I want to tell this lie, I just feel that telling him my results come out so quickly at this time is really a kind of cruelty to him.I don't want to be that villain.

Lao Zhang hugged me tightly, as if he wanted to embed me into his body.

On the way back, he didn't say a word.

"Actually, it's nothing. Even if you get it, it's just that you don't do that kind of thing with others."

"An Ji, don't you know me yet? Not doing that kind of thing makes me feel worse than killing me."

"You don't, do you?"

"Don't worry, it's a big deal to buy a fake one and keep it at home."

I saw with my own eyes that Lao Zhang pretended to be strong, and I felt unspeakable bitterness in my heart. Facing this heavy society, we have too much to worry about, too much to take care of, and too much to fear. Our social status , was not very high, but there is such a disease, which once again lowers our social status, but what we can do is to accept it silently, or be brutally exterminated.

"Why don't you come to me, I'll help you, just take safety measures. The doctor said it's fine."

Lao Zhang returned to reality from his own meditation, and looked at me sternly, "Anji, I know you are kind, but kindness alone can not help others. You think I will really harm myself for my own desires My friend? I am very clear about my own situation, and I have said that I will do it if I don’t touch others.”

Hearing Lao Zhang's criticism, I also felt that what I just said was really reckless. How could I say such a thing in front of him? The speaker had no intention of listening to it, and Lao Zhang must have thought that I was pitying him with an arrogant identity. , Once upon a time, I also hated this kind of pity of unknown origin.