through those heavy years

"No, go beg for food!" She stood up straight, and pushed her mouth out in front of her kneeling grandma, "Because there is still half a semester in high school, now I go door to door to beg for food. Maybe I can get together the expenses, even those who are going to college We have all the fees. Just go a little farther to ask for it. We can't afford the reputation of begging!"

A cry of begging made me kneel at the back door, tears covering my face.The surroundings are silent, and the pain is like the twelfth lunar month of winter, numb my limbs and bones.All I can do is breathe with my mouth open, staring bloodthirstyly like the eyes of a hungry wolf.

Grandma got up slowly, staggered to support the leg of the stool next to her, and stretched out one hand tremblingly towards the broken bowl. The picture seemed to be sentenced to death, picking up a bottle of Ling Chi's poison.She stood on her side crookedly for a while, then turned around with a look of despair, and I saw grandma's muddy eyes filled with tears, the light that radiated was cold and cold, and grandma's heart fell to the bottom of the valley.

Grandma said in a cold voice: "If you do this, you can feel at ease!"

I don't know how grandma stepped out of the threshold of the uncle's house and walked to her own home step by step.I don't know what will happen next, emotions are dominated, I have lost my mind.I picked up a shovel and walked around the deep alley, like a beast lurking in the dark night, staring at the gate of my uncle's house.The burning of anger has accumulated to the point where it cannot be added.The pain and humiliation of being hung up and whipped by my uncle when I was a child, the abuse and ridicule of eating bad food for many years, the ruthlessness and cold-bloodedness of my grandma being forced to kneel down, all kinds of things are played back one after another. He raised his shovel in fear and rushed in.

These two people, I no longer want to call them people.They were still patting the dust off their bodies leisurely, with the contemptuous expressions on their faces not retreating.I roared hysterically, like a gust of wind, I raised the shovel and smashed it down on my head and face.People don't want to die, they are really like bloodthirsty monsters.I vented my anger and smashed everything I saw.At that time, I was 15 years old, and my youth burst out of my bones.Uncle is an adult, strong and strong, reacting and trying to stop me.But I have a weapon in my hand, so he can't stop it for a while.I want to be a lunatic who loses his mind once, or smash it down recklessly.As long as I grow up for a few years, I will definitely let their brains splatter, blood flow into rivers, and their bodies be bruised when my uncle can't stop them for a while.

But after all, I was young, my strength was exhausted to a certain extent, and I could only be in a stalemate with my uncle Hongyan.My uncle and aunt panicked and pointed at me and yelled at me. I wanted to cut off the hands that were handing the tattered bowl to grandma.

I then yelled and yelled, and it was bound to teach them a lesson.The uncle and aunt were frightened and dared not speak out.The uncle was panting while fighting against me, and said with a terrified expression on his face: "What are you doing, what are you doing!"

They who used to be invincible in front of me are now frightened like a cat under a cat.I have never felt so happy in my heart.I kicked my uncle vigorously in the stomach, broke him free, stood upright with the shovel, and looked at him with a deadpan expression.The house was in a mess, and there were large and small wounds on their bodies, with blood dripping open.On his pale face, his eyes were full of vigilance.My anger began to subside in front of such a picture, and my reason slowly recovered.

After growing up, the pleasure of being able to maintain more dignity by one's own strength is indescribably smooth.I took a deep breath, letting my cruelty warn them.

I said: "In the future, if you dare to bully grandma again, I can risk my life and make your family's life worse than death, or the death of a dead body. From now on, I will also formally explain to you that you will never be me and me again. Grandma's relatives, we don't have such relatives who don't recognize pigs and dogs as relatives, you are just my enemies, enemies for life. Also, I hope your pig brains understand that I owe you the tuition fees for these years. My parents have been with you for a long time. I paid in advance when the house was built. The tuition fees you gave are just repayments to my parents. So I don’t owe you shit. Shit is disgusting." Finally, I felt the need to make a statement, and I told them that I didn't want them to tell Grandma about the lesson I gave them today.If they say so, I will spread the story of grandma kneeling in front of them to the village hundreds of miles away.When people live in this world, they all need to be cheeky.I also believe that they will not threaten to say that their 15-year-old nephew beat them, what a shame!

Amidst their silent resistance, I walked out with a straight body.Since then, I have never stepped into their dirty land, nor will I have any interaction with them in life.I even closed the back door and put a lock on it permanently!

Not long after, I told my grandma to separate from my uncle's family.I've grown up to take back what's ours.We can farm and cook our own food.Don't be afraid of not being able to support yourself or grandma.Grandma said, you have to study, and you can't delay your study because of raising a family.

I was silent, silent for a while.Until I slowly raised my head and greeted me with a smile: "It's okay, didn't Principal Zhou say that I'm a genius, geniuses don't delay my studies!"

Grandma didn't make a sound, just looked at me quietly.Tears flowed over her wrinkles again, like criss-cross streams that flowed endlessly over the years.

During the mid-term exam in the second semester of the third year of junior high school, facing the exam paper, I fell into deep contemplation.Grandma can kneel down to let me continue to read. In this matter, she persisted to the end.If I say I don't want to study like I did in the first year of junior high school, it must be more uncomfortable than killing her.So I thought, the only way is not to let grandma have hope, only when she is disappointed will she let go.Although she will be sad, it is better than being wronged because of my hard work.

I made up my mind to pay attention and deliberately missed some questions and didn't answer them.After the test results, the ranking has only dropped a little compared to the past.Grandma didn't notice anything.Just tell me to work hard.

I said "hmm" and said intentionally or unintentionally: "The current topic is getting more and more difficult. No matter how hard I try, I still can't understand the essence of it."

Grandma became nervous when she heard me say this.Asked: "Did you listen carefully in class?"

I replied: "Yes, but what the teacher said is very general, which makes people confused."

Grandma said: "Nonsense, the teacher is also confused, how can he be a teacher."

I said: "Teachers are sometimes confused. Grandma thinks that teachers can do everything. If they can do everything, why didn't they get into key universities when they were studying. So, they can't do it either." I understand everything."

When grandma heard this, she was a little speechless.But he couldn't keep silent, so he said, "As a teacher, you always figure out the problem. After you finish class, just ask the teacher more and pester him to answer."

I said: "The teachers are very busy and don't have time to talk to me."

Grandma said: "Why is the teacher not free? It is their duty to teach students well. They should be eager for students to ask questions! I don't think the teacher is not free, but you are deliberately making excuses. You have no time at all." Study hard."

It seems that grandma understands everything and is not so easy to fool.I immediately said sincerely: "Grandma, you saw it too. I didn't study until late at night someday."

Grandma remembered that I read at night with the lamp on every night, and said that I was not paying attention, which was a bit unreasonable.In the end, she was speechless and sighed.I still did not forget to ask, "No matter what, you should ask the teacher more. If the teacher is not free, you can ask your classmates."

I nodded and agreed, feeling very sorry for cheating grandma.

I started to learn how to plow the fields. I didn't expect that it looked easy, but it was not easy to learn.It took a long time before I slowly grasped the essentials.

The cow is the cow left by the parents, and it has been occupied by the uncle and the others all these years.When the family was separated, I aggressively asked for it back.The uncles and aunts refused to give it at first, but they couldn't help but say that my parents paid for the cow, so I was entitled to bring the cow back.My attitude was tough and domineering, and I threatened that if they dared to steal, they would kill their relatives with a knife.This remark was naturally taken by the good people in the village as a very judgmental example and put many sinister hats on me.Over the years, I have put on a lot of hats, and I have gotten used to what I shouldn't be used to.The current state of mind is that they can say whatever they like, as long as my cow comes back.

It is an old cow, very obedient.Because it was left to me by my parents, I treat it like a relative.Eat green grass, drink clean water, and sleep in a clean shed.It's just that I'm old, and I don't have much strength to plow the fields, and the plowed fields often have to be plowed several times.Only in this way can the mud be plowed evenly and sticky and soft, and the whole rice field will be flat.

I never urge the old cow, let alone beat the old cow.The old cow felt the friendliness of my new owner, so when I was doing things, I felt that it was doing its best.The old cow once touched me the most. That time I plowed the field carelessly and cut my foot by the plow.I sat on the field ridge with my feet hugged, blood dripping drop by drop.The old cow saw it, and came to me, knelt down on his front feet, and bent his back legs.That move made me realize in an instant that the old cow was caring for me and wanted to hunch me back.I suddenly forgot about the pain in my feet, and embraced the old cow with tears in his eyes.The old cow is like another elder of mine, and I feel the support it gives me.The old cow couldn't walk at the end. On the day he died of old age, I cried so heartbroken.Grandma said she bought the meat, but I killed him and didn't allow it. I spent the night digging a hole and buried the old cow.