through those heavy years

After walking on the road for a few minutes, my back was sticky and wet, like my face wet with tears.

In the new environment, I met a new group of people and lived a new life.Unexpectedly, in my new life, I would also encounter new unhappiness.I understand that the change of the environment does not mean that everything will change accordingly, and that the self does not change, that is the fundamental change.

My heart was very uncomfortable, and I felt that my appearance at this time was very disgusting.The condemnation of the contractor because of Luo Feng's attitude all boiled down to my frustration at my lack of behavior.Keeping your head down, you don't know how long it will take you to adjust your emotions.In fact, I have to say that I don't like to spend time adjusting my emotions.When I was a child, I cried and cried, that's fine.When I grow up, the environment is different, and my consciousness has also changed, so I didn't expect it to be so complicated.Let yourself be sad and sad, and it will take time to adjust.

Sitting under a tree, the right side of the tree is the main road, and the left side is the sidewalk with people coming and going and rows of shops.Slowly raising my head, people looked at me, and I looked at them.They cast unimaginable and partly contemptuous glances, because my face was tear-stained, my clothes were dirty, my hair was disheveled, and I looked poor and out of the ordinary.In the past, I would double stare at them to let them know that it is very impolite to look at people with such unkind eyes.But now I am a sad person and have no energy to pay attention to them.I even felt ashamed and couldn't sit still.

I would also like to emphasize that I am a thick-skinned person. What I did before caused repercussions in the school and the village. After being commented and pointed out by people, I will still live by myself in the crowd without any irritability or feeling in my heart. shame.When I came to the construction site, I seemed to have changed a little unintentionally, whether it was good or bad, I couldn't tell.I just realized that human beings are a process of constant change due to certain sensitive factors.

Reluctant to go back, I happened to see a place marked with the words "Internet Cafe" above the gate on the left front.Internet cafe, a familiar word.A few younger workers often mentioned going online, and they had to go to Internet cafes.I don’t know how to access it, because the concept of surfing the Internet has never been in my mind.If you want to surf the Internet, you should crawl the Internet like a spider.So when I heard young workers talking about it, I scoffed.Crawling a net can also make them talk about it.Looking at it now, it seems that it is not that simple. It is vaguely visible that there are rows of people sitting in it, and then they are engrossed in the face of a display screen that looks like a black and white TV, almost in a state of obsession.

With some curiosity, I walked in.Sitting by the door was a female boss who was scratching her foot with one hand and holding a small board in the other. When she saw someone coming in, she didn't even bother to see the face of the guest, so she said mechanically: "Five yuan an hour for surfing the Internet, ten yuan for an hour." Three hours for a dollar!"

What? !I shouted in my heart.An hour of overtime work at night is only three yuan, but it costs five yuan to use the Internet here. What kind of Internet is so expensive.I don't need money to climb a tree on the mountain in the countryside, and I can even pick up bird eggs.

The female boss put down her feet and looked up at me standing there blankly. She didn't say a word, and immediately looked disgusted, "I'm from a small village, you can tell it at a glance. The computer is high-tech, and it has everything on it. It's for seeing the big world." Window, it's fun!"

No matter how bad my mood is, this contemptuous gesture can irritate me all at once.Although the monthly salary will be saved in the bank, the money for overtime pay is still on me.I took out two five-yuan ones, put them on the small time-recording board with a snap, and said, "Three hours, pick a good net for me to climb!"

The female boss put away the money and giggled.Shun pointed to a "black and white TV", which means that it is the Internet I want to use.

I strode over and sat down on a wooden stool.I thought to myself, what's the big deal, the people in the country and the city are not all Chinese.But some people like to be proud of themselves among their peers, and look down on others with dog eyes!

However, facing the black screen, I was really dumbfounded, because I didn't know what to do next.But this does not mean that the people in the city are nobler than the people in the country. It is just because I have never been in contact with it, so I don’t understand it, so I can understand it.

I looked around and saw that there were children of all ages surfing the Internet in the Internet cafe, and they were all very busy.A boy sitting next to him, who looked about fifteen or sixteen years old, was also meticulously and enthusiastically playing a game called Red Police, which I later learned about.Because he really didn't understand, he reached out and patted him, asking how to make a screen like his appear.Without even looking at me, he stretched out his hand and pressed a button on the black box under the table, and the monitor instantly lit up, followed by rows of English letters.

Now it's interesting, and my whole body is full of fighting power as if I have been injected with chicken blood.After groping for an hour, I gradually realized that surfing the Internet is not a spider crawling the web, but surfing the Internet is a technology that is more advanced than TV, such as watching videos and playing games on a monitor.Going online is indeed a wonderful website full of magic and temptations. Workers now understand the excited expressions on their faces when they talk about going online.

However, I don't like playing games.Operation to operation to go, that's all.I like to watch movies. Lin Zhengying's zombie movies were very popular at that time. Lin Zhengying borrowed from Western vampire movies and used a humorous and funny way to more deeply interpret the Chinese people's fear and hazy understanding of zombies from ancient times to the present. It has made film history. The classics of zombie movies have thus become a specific product of Chinese culture.

After watching a piece of "Music Zombie", I am already fascinated.When I wanted to find another one to watch, three hours passed in a blink of an eye.The pointer of the time has already pointed to six o'clock, and the old gangster who is picking her feet is holding a wooden board and stepping on the point to drive away.The sun outside was still dazzling, and the number of people in the Internet cafe only increased. I was so lazy that I didn't want to go back, and I didn't feel the slightest sense of hunger in my stomach.Thinking that I am a sad person, sad people don’t care about spending money, and the zombie movie is not enough, so without further ado, I decisively slapped the proprietress ten yuan and continued for three hours.The proprietress smiled when she saw the money, and said, I will give you another half an hour!

I went on to watch two zombie movies. After six and a half hours, it was already estimated that it was ten o'clock in the evening.Time flies so fast, I reluctantly left the Internet cafe, this time I knew I was hungry all of a sudden.It's a pity that I brought a total of more than 30 yuan. The fare when I came here has already spent [-] yuan, and the Internet cafe is [-]. The rest is only enough for the fare back to the construction site (the more than [-] yuan is still saved by me in a month. What about the overtime pay, I don’t know the pain until after spending it).When I had no money to eat, I simply starved, and I would not die of starvation without eating a meal.

When it was time to go back, what happened at noon came to mind instantly.After the sadness, the calm mood began to worry again.The night wind blew past, and half a star could not be seen in the night sky of the city.When it comes time to have to think about the consequences, the aftertaste of zombie movies can't alleviate it in the slightest. I don't know what to do in the future!

Let's go, isn't he the most decisive one in the past, stride forward without procrastination.But when he thought of Luo Feng, he couldn't let go.During these days together, the relationship has merged to that of relatives.A big brother who is so warm and handsome is hard to separate from him from the bottom of his heart.Thinking of this, I feel even more depressed in my heart, and I really regret that I have made a fool of myself. It is only half a day's salary. Everyone seems to be okay, since you are yelling.

Luo Feng, Luo Feng, if only he could walk with me.The world is so big, there will be no place for us.It's a pity that I can see that he really cares about this job.Although he is tall and big, he is actually a person who lacks confidence and courage.He thinks that jobs are not so easy to find. Losing this job means starting from scratch in the city, which is very difficult.

The bus has been driving for more than an hour, and there are basically no passengers in the compartment.The big trees and shrubs outside the window appear to be full of shadows and ghosts in the suburbs.Fortunately, the night is not too quiet, there are night insects calling endlessly, and I can feel less scared.It's midnight, and the solid snores of the dormitory workers have already resounded like thunder!

After getting off the car, deep in the suburbs, you can see a few sporadic stars when you look up.Naturally, it is not comparable to the countryside, but it can bring some comfort to people.Walking on the road, the moonlight is still not lazy, and the white is sprinkled on the ground, and a curved path can be clearly seen.

I don't know if Luo Feng fell asleep, I was a little afraid to see him.He won't ignore me because of the contractor.Even if you don't think about it, the contractor is not even a fart in the hearts of all the workers, and Luo Feng should not be.Then Luo Feng was angry because of me, although I'm not sure how much weight it has in his heart, but I've been in contact with him for so long, I can still see the concern from the bottom of my heart.

Slowly pacing on the moonlit path, thinking of him, I don't think he will appear at this moment, but what a coincidence, he is standing upright as if he suddenly appeared in a mythological TV series. In the middle of the road, I couldn't see my expression clearly, silently, facing me, like a ghostly zombie, motionless.

Taking a deep breath, the person in front of him was definitely Luo Feng.He was standing on the small road waiting for me, just like when I got off the green leather bus when I came, he was standing on the side of the road waiting for me.Facing him, I found that there was nothing to be afraid of, on the contrary, I was a little flattered.Seeing him at this very moment brought endless ecstasy in my heart.

Almost happily called his name.It is conceivable that he is still angry after all, and he can't be shameless. He walked over with his head down, and still had to put on a bit of a downcast expression.

"You still know how to come back!" He said coldly, with his back to the moonlight, so close, he still couldn't see his expression clearly.

He didn't speak, and didn't know what to say.So I went back to the way I was when I first arrived, unable to pry my mouth open for a long time, and kept silent to the end.I was really forced to speak, so I just said something to admit my mistake, so as to calm him down.

Luo Feng said slightly angrily: "Don't play silence with me, don't you become talkative now? It's really an eye-opener for me to talk so much. Why did you pretend to be so similar before? I thought you were a quiet mute who didn't dare to speak. I didn't expect that if you opened your mouth, you would scold a living person to death."

Uh, alright, teach me a lesson, I won’t make a sound, who called you Luo Feng!If it were someone else who dared to swear more, I would have to fight him.

Luo Feng continued to speak unceremoniously: "How about it? I've only come back now, so I've thought about it. Since you dare to offend me, you must have considered the consequences. Then tell me, and let me hear what your plans are."

Intend? !What else can I plan.If a man dares to do it, he dares to do it. I said confidently: "What else can I do, just leave!"

"What!" He became even angrier, "You really intend to leave, because a person who leaves without a single thing is a coward!"

Seeing his impatience, I thought for a moment that he was reluctant to let me go.But cowards, is this directly related to cowards?

I said dejectedly: "If I don't leave, the contractor won't stay either."

As soon as the words came out, Luo Feng did not rush to speak.The night suddenly became quiet, and we couldn't even hear the chirping of insects, only the moonlight, as thin as a cicada's wing, shone on us, leaving the sound of flustered breathing.

"Apologize!" he sighed, then said unquestionably.

"What?" I've never apologized to anyone in my life, let alone someone I hated.Of course, sometimes I have to make mistakes for certain things, but that is because I have learned the story of Han Xin being humiliated by sex, so I feel aggrieved and can accept it.Now, hey, it seems that there is nothing wrong with apologizing!I don't know why I was so excited when I heard the apology just now.What's more, in order not to leave Luo Feng, I seem to be able to compromise.The sudden 180-degree turn in my heart makes people feel boring and weak.What's wrong with me, this is not a change, it's abnormal at all.But now there are many abnormal things, so I don't think too much about it.

"What, what?" Luo Feng didn't know the change in my heart, and said angrily, "Do you think you did the right thing? No matter what, he is your boss and elder, and based on this, you should respect it instead of contradicting it. !"

elder? !respect? !This is all taught in school, and I also think that we should learn to respect it.But what I have come into contact with is the self-righteousness, domineering, cunning and ruthlessness of many elders as adults.They regard children through adolescence as devoid of human rights, ideas, dignity and memory.Always treated, criticized, ignored and bullied as a vulnerable group.When I was young and didn't know how to resist, this oppression kept converging, converging into a river, and then slowly converging into a river and sea, and then the flood broke out one day and it was out of control.People are kind and bullied. I have deeply practiced this principle. Only after they resisted will they know how to regress, and only then will they know how terrible it is.And after I knew the benefits of this, I got used to confronting some so-called adults with violence.So I understand respect, but choosing to respect or not is another matter.If someone treats me a little bit badly, I will definitely be colder than him and treat each other twice.

"Xiaodong, I always feel that you don't know much about the world, and you can't control your emotions!" Luo Feng's tone softened, and he said with a little sadness, "It's not as easy as entering society. You have to Learn to distinguish between true and false, and know how to advance and retreat properly!"

I don't understand what he said, what's so good about people.Doesn’t a person alive mean he’s alive? Aren’t people smiling at me and I’m smiling at him? I don’t care if his smile is true or not, as long as it doesn’t hurt me!