who are you?

People who meet for the first time seem to ask each other's name so politely.

But the first time my ex-fiancé spoke to me, he asked neither my name nor my family or where I lived.A boy in his teens was sitting behind a half-rolled bamboo curtain, his face was as pale as the snow falling by the lake in winter, his pupils were as bright as red plums, and his hoarse voice was tinged with coldness and boredom.

"How did you get in here?"

That wasn't the first time I rummaged into my fiancé's house.I originally thought that he would always treat me as an invisible person, sitting quietly by the window as a sick and beautiful boy, but I didn't expect him to talk to me, which made me stunned for a moment.

After reacting, I nervously pointed towards the wall:

"...Climbed a tree and flipped in."

My fiancé frowned, and I realized that I had taken off my long coat and tied it around my waist for the convenience of climbing trees. It looked particularly inappropriate and lacking in style, so I hurriedly put on the clothes again good.

"What are you doing here?"

In the eyes of outsiders, Mr. Pianpian is neither elegant nor gentle when he talks to me.

In the past, I attributed these to the illness that had tormented him for a long time, thinking that no matter how gentle a person is, there are times when he is in a bad mood, but now that I think about it, it is just simple disdain.

Just like people don't deliberately guard against insignificant ants, my ex-fiancé didn't even bother to put on a disguise mask when facing me.That's all.

"Aren't you going to ask me who I am?" I was very curious.

The plum-colored pupils did not stay on my face, the boy looked away and replied unhurriedly:

"I can probably guess."

I don't know how I made him unhappy, and I stood there a little bit at a loss.

Everyone said that my fiancé was mild-tempered and outstanding in everything. If it wasn't for his poor health so that he could return home at any time, he would be the perfect husband-in-law in the eyes of all the girls in the capital.

I have observed him curiously for such a period of time. Apart from finding that he really likes reading books and stays indoors every day, he is too weak to take a step outside. I have not yet seen where his perfection is. She has a gentle appearance, but she is not happy at all in private.

The boy who has been hidden by his family all year round is like a snake that has been hibernating for a long time. It looks weak and sluggish, quiet and harmless—it just looks like that.

I have never been bitten by a snake since I was a child, and I don't know that putting a frozen snake in my arms is something a fool would do.

At that time, I only remembered that if a sick person is in a bad mood, how can he get better quickly.

"...I brought you some presents."

After stuttering, I wiped my hands on my clothes, put the persimmons in my arms on the wooden floor in front of the bamboo curtain, and ran away as if to escape.

With those two shriveled persimmons as a precedent, I had more courage and started to carry things over every three days.Sometimes it is a grasshopper made of bamboo leaves, and sometimes it is a fan with beautiful patterns, just like a squirrel collecting pine cones. Whenever it sees a beautiful thing, it will subconsciously send it to the other party.

This was not allowed in that era, but I was a freak, no one expected anything from me, even my mother would just pat my head and say, as long as I am happy.

How lonely it is to be alone in the house all the time.

How lonely it is to be always excluded by others.

It has always been one person's words.

will be sad.

Such a presumptuous way of judging others by oneself, insisting on holding one's heart full of kindness in front of one person.

Between the ages of ten and fourteen, during those four years, which in hindsight seem so fleeting, my greatest joy was visiting my ailing fiancé and racking my brains about what to give next time.

I gave him many things, even a fluffy calico kitten.

The cat was very friendly, lively and cute, and quickly captured the hearts of the maids.The quiet and lifeless mansion became more lively. I saw my fiancé sitting by the window, watching the cat chasing butterflies all over the courtyard.

Three days later, when I went to visit my fiancé again, I learned from the maid that the cat had drowned.

"...How pathetic."

The maids raised their sleeves to wipe away their tears.

"It's so pathetic."

My fiancé turns the pages without lifting her eyelids.

now think of it--

Until I later moved into a mansion that smelled of bitter medicine.

I never once saw those presents I gave.

The narrow alleyway was filled with the smell of burnt flesh, and a thin inch of light penetrated through the ruined walls, resting on the blood-stained long knife.

When I found the ghost-slaying swordsman, he was still holding the knife in his hand.The dim pupils were covered by the half-closed eyelids, as if he was hanging his head and contemplating why his body suddenly couldn't move, why the knife in his hand no longer obeyed his commands.

Until the last moment of his life, that face was full of confusion that was almost angry.

I put my hand up and close his eyes like someone did for me.

The fire that had been burning all night finally died down at dawn.

I stepped across the charred ruins, passed by the numb or mournful crowd, and it seemed like I had walked for a long time. When I reached the curtain of the tea house, I realized that I seemed to have forgotten an important thing.

Run up the steep wooden ladder in three steps in two steps. The second floor of the tea house is a space for storing sundries, which is not usually freed up for guests to use.I thought I would have to spend a lot of effort last night, but the owner of the tea house nodded and agreed to my request almost immediately, allowing me to temporarily place the homeless girl in the attic.

"You're back."

Candlelight reflected a slender figure on the wooden floor.There are no windows in the attic, so there is no sunlight outside.Sitting quietly at the junction of light and shadow, the girl in coral-colored sleeves quietly raised her eyes. Her face was as clear and soft as the moon in an autumn night, and her whiteness was unforgettable.

Fair enough...almost pale.

"Are you OK?"

The situation last night was so chaotic that I didn't even notice that the other party was unwell.

Almost habitually, I stretched out my hand, as if I wanted to warm him with my own body temperature, and put his fingers into my palm.

"Cold?"

I have said this to my fiancé many times.

His hands were once as cold as the girl in front of him, and light blue blood vessels could be clearly seen on the back of his pale hands.

The girl did not answer my words.

She seemed briefly out of focus.The subtle pause was fleeting.

"Is that ghost-slaying swordsman dead?" His soft lips were bent, and the words he spit out were cold and ruthless.

That inexplicable sense of familiarity floated up, and I let go of my hand slightly.

"died."

The girl's eyes fell on my face, as if she was interested, she spoke slowly:

"You don't seem very upset."

"Do I have to look sad?"

The plum red pupils narrowed suddenly.The feeling of peeping, as if being cut open from the inside, is quite unpleasant, even a bit creepy.

I was stared at by the other party for a while, although my intuition told me that a wrong step at this time is not just a matter of "losing", maybe even the head on the neck will move along with it.As someone who has moved my head many times, I frowned slightly at this overwhelming gaze and decided to ignore it.

"Do you still have family?" I cut to the point of this topic.

"Family?" The girl repeated my question, with a playful and incomprehensible expression on her flawless face, "It seems to have existed before."

I felt as if I understood something, so I lowered my eyes: "...Please forgive me."

After a brief silence, crisp laughter, cold as pearls splashed on the ice, sounded in the dark attic.

…It is normal for someone who has just experienced a major trauma to be mentally disturbed.I meditate in my heart.

I saw ghosts eating people with my own eyes, and my house was burned down by a fire.Normal people can become a little abnormal.

"Do you have any distant relatives or good friends who you can turn to?"

It is too difficult to survive in this world alone, let alone a beautiful woman.

The laughter stopped slightly, and the girl stroked the corner of her lips, as if she was thinking seriously: "Maybe in Kyoto."

I nodded: "In a few days, I will accompany you to Kyoto."

After nodding my head, I realized.

"What's wrong?" The other party seemed to see through my hesitation at a glance.

"Well... nothing." I thought for a while and said.

"It's just that I left bad memories there because of lame eyes."

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