Possessive relationship

After I hung up the phone, I stood by the lake in a daze for a long time. Seeing that it was getting dark, I drove to go home. When I was about to drive home, I suddenly remembered that that warm figure would no longer be guarding me at the door.

Where can I go back?

I parked the car at the door, but I didn't have the courage to go in. In the past, I never understood that the backside of freedom is loneliness.

Without bondage, there is no waiting.Without restraint, there is no protection.I opened the door with my eyes closed, walked into the room and turned on the light from memory, and buried myself in the quilt, still unable to accept this fact.What Su Jinwen said is too informative, and I don't know where to start to accept it.

Is this the taste of freedom?I thought I would never be able to get out of the cage, but I opened it on my own initiative. Chen Zhiyao had chosen to let go long before it started.But why, I can't taste the taste of freedom?

The phone vibrated, and I slid away feebly, and saw a message from Su Jinwen: He was rushed to the hospital this afternoon, and he won't let me tell you this, so don't come.

I smiled wryly and lay there without moving.With Chen Zhiyao's pride, how could he accept my charity?I have no position to see him, I understand, so I continued to lie on the bed without conscience, continued to think that Chen Zhiyao was just angry so he ignored me, continued to know nothing about him, continued to call him The identity that comes and goes immediately.

Until the evening, I was so dazed that I didn't know if I fell asleep, and I heard the phone ringing again, so I picked it up in a daze, "Hello, who is it?"

"It's me." With a short reply, Chen Zhiyao still seemed very angry.

"What's wrong?" I suddenly had a sore nose, and raised my head to answer the phone, "Looking for me so late, feeling lonely and cold? Do you need me to go over and serve?"

"No need." I don't know if it's my illusion, Chen Zhiyao seems to be very quiet on the phone, although it is impossible for someone in his house to make noise, but that kind of quiet always makes me have bad associations , In the hospital, there are pale sheets, cold equipment, empty corridors, and a lonely and seriously ill figure.

"Then...?" I suddenly felt cold and hugged myself tightly under the quilt.

"Do a few months' work ahead of time, and go out with me for a while later." Chen Zhiyao's voice was very steady, as if nothing had happened in the afternoon.

I nodded, thinking again that he couldn't see, so I said, "Okay, I see."

After I finished speaking, we fell into an awkward silence, but no one hung up the phone. I didn't know if Chen Zhiyao had discovered something, and I didn't know how to deal with it, so I heard him ask: "What do you want to do?" The place?"

"Me?" I was a little surprised, subconsciously said: "It's nothing, you can go wherever you want." After finishing speaking, I felt something was wrong again, and added: "The places you think are good should be good."

"Okay, I got it." Chen Zhiyao didn't say anything, my head was full of buzzing echoes, I was numb, and I didn't know what to talk about. This kind of phone chat in the middle of the night happened to me The relationship between Chen Zhiyao and Chen Zhiyao was really a bit novel. We were not used to this kind of conversation, so we fell silent for a while.

The world is changing so fast, I lay down with my phone in my hand and thought, Chen Zhiyao will not only die, but also call me to chat, what else is impossible?

"Shall I go to see you?" As soon as the words came out, even I was surprised, and Chen Zhiyao over there was probably even more surprised. He asked with some doubts: "What did you say?"

"I said, I'll look for you in the past, is that okay?" After the words were out of my mouth, I simply said clearly, "That... I was too impulsive this afternoon, I apologize to you."

Chen Zhiyao was silent for a while, and then sighed helplessly: "I have something to do now, come over in an hour."

He hung up the phone. I know that Chen Zhiyao needs time to rush back from the hospital, and I don’t know if it will affect his treatment. I really don’t know if there is any other treatment for the tumor in his head besides surgery. ?

I sat up and wanted to find something to do to get through this hour, but the house was too empty and tidy, and I couldn't find anything to distract my attention. The more I stayed, the colder I had to go to the bathroom to take a hot bath Take a shower as long as possible, until the skin on my fingers is wrinkled before blowing my hair out. I am too lazy to put on clothes, so I simply put on my pajamas and a coat, and then drive over directly after checking that the time is almost up.

When I arrived at Chen Zhiyao's house, the housekeeper told me that he had already rested, and the lights in the living room were all turned off, giving it a night atmosphere.I went upstairs quietly, the house was silent, I could almost hear my heart beating, every step I took was heavy, and I seemed to be more nervous than the last time I came, even though I only saw her this afternoon He even quarreled with him without saying anything, but at the moment I was so nervous that my hands were shaking when I pushed the door open.

The wall lamp in the bedroom is on, with a dim yellow tone, warm and comfortable, and it doesn’t make me feel glaring when I walk in the dark. Chen Zhiyao is sitting on the bed in his pajamas and a piece of clothing, holding a notebook in his hand, seeing me come in , looked up at me, with a mocking smile on the corner of his mouth, and said to me: "It's not easy, you can take the initiative to admit your mistake to me?"

The moment I saw him, I realized how terrified I was, how terrified I was when I saw Chen Zhiyao again. The pride and indifference of everything being in control, there will no longer be such a mocking smile on the corner of his mouth, even... he is even afraid that he will stop breathing at some point, that strong body will lose temperature, and then never, never wake up again Come.

Driven by such fear, I walked towards his bed, and suddenly realized that we were wearing the same pajamas again today. When Su Jinwen called me over in the middle of the night last time, did he have the same fear as me?

I don't know how long Su Jinwen has been carrying this kind of fear, but Chen Zhiyao himself seems to have nothing wrong with him, leaning on the bed and watching me walk towards him, holding his wrist in a daze, and softly said: "I'm sorry .”

The moment I touched his skin, my heart finally calmed down. He was still warm, his muscles were so strong, and he didn't look like he would close his eyes and die at any time.I relaxed a little, and suddenly felt that the whole person was about to be unable to hold on, and I didn't dare to show anything in front of him, so I had to say something reluctantly: "I shouldn't come this afternoon, I shouldn't quarrel with you ...It really has nothing to do with you, I was wrong, I'm sorry."

I held his hand a little trembling, but he didn't push me away, but just looked at me with some doubts, rubbed his forehead a little tiredly, and said to me: "Okay, I won't hit you again." He turned his head and glanced at me, withdrew his hand, and sighed softly: "It seems that you have been really stimulated today."

I didn't react for a while, I looked at him a little nervously, and found that he was not talking about this matter, and then I remembered that he was referring to Qingqing.I was tangled in my heart for a while, so I didn't explain anything at all, but just sat silently.

Chen Zhiyao reached out and fiddled with my hair, and asked lightly, "Did you come here after taking a shower?"

The situation suddenly became a little ambiguous, as if I washed myself up and sent me here on purpose, but I knew that we probably didn't have such thoughts. When Chen Zhiyao's hand was waving in front of my eyes, I saw the white cloth on the back of his hand. Traces of infusion.

Seeing that I was stunned and didn't speak, Chen Zhiyao's tone became a little bit colder, and he said mockingly: "Could it be that you don't dare to sleep by yourself, so come and ask me to accompany you in bed?"

I didn't know what to say, I just shook my head.Qingqing is gone, I am very sad, but I know he will live better no matter what.But what about Chen Zhiyao?If he leaves like this a year later, maybe I will never see him again. This seems to be something I have been looking forward to, but what I am looking forward to is freedom, not... abandonment.

I can't describe my feelings for this person in front of me, and it's not appropriate to say so, but I felt like I was about to be abandoned.If he is a cage, the cage I have lived in for a long time, what I look forward to is the day when the door opens, not the collapse after the landslide and tsunami. After the collapse, all I get is devastated, and the distance is just a different distance.

Seeing that I was silent, Chen Zhiyao suddenly lost his temper. He threw the notebook aside and turned off the light, and yelled at me impatiently: "Come here if you want to sleep!"

I froze for a moment, quickly took off my coat and crawled over, lying down next to him.In the dark, his breathing was a little heavy, I didn't know if it was sick or angry, I quietly leaned towards him, and felt that he seemed to have a low-grade fever, and his body temperature was abnormally warm.

I lay guarding his slightly warm body as if I was afraid of the cold, after a while his breathing calmed down, he suddenly turned over and hugged me, and whispered like a warning: "Sleep calmly, don't talk in your sleep."

I nodded against his chest, only feeling that the weight he was pressing on me was so real, and this reality couldn't relieve my uneasiness. For the first time, I lost sleep in Chen Zhiyao's arms.

Chen Zhiyao also didn't seem to be sleeping soundly. He tossed and tossed in his arms, rubbing against me from time to time, which made me very itchy, but I didn't understand a single movement, for fear of waking him up.His brows were also tightly furrowed in his sleep, telling me that he probably hasn't had a good sleep for a long time.

Until Chen Zhiyao woke up, I remained in the shape of a pillow and pretended to be sleeping with my eyes closed. After waking up, he glanced at me, his breath sprayed on my face, it was hot and itchy, and then I felt very uncomfortable. Dense sleepiness asked: "Did you sleep well?"

I don't know how he saw it, but I had no choice but to open my eyes, and said a little tiredly: "No." Chen Zhiyao sat up by himself, pulled the quilt over me, and sat on the bed with his clothes on to write , which obviously means that I can lie down for a while.Counting it, I haven't slept much in two days, and my blood-red eyes probably can't fool anyone, so I wrapped myself in the quilt and continued to lie down, listening to his sound of turning the pages of the book, and fell asleep for a while. .

It was broad daylight when I woke up, and he found it as soon as I opened my eyes. He put down the things in his hands, and we got out of bed to wash up. My toothbrush and towel were already set up in the bathroom. I don’t know if he was Since when did he start preparing, or has he always been preparing.

After breakfast, Chen Zhiyao took a look at me, and I said to him: "I'm going to the company first today, and when the materials are almost ready, I'll come over and ask you to sign?"

"Okay," Chen Zhiyao nodded, "I'm going to the company too, call me before coming here in the afternoon."

The two of us set off, I drove away by myself, and Chen Zhiyao had a driver to see him off.Because he said that he wanted to go out to play, so he had to get out of work as much as possible in advance, so we were very busy during this period, meeting every day, approving documents, urging budgets and proposals, and unconsciously, this half year was quietly passed.

During this period of time, I haven't heard any news about Qingqing. I just heard from time to time that the old man of the Gu family has become stronger since his youngest son was found. As for how Gu Zhenlin will deal with him, I have no way of knowing.

When he went to Chen Zhiyao to sign for the last time, he said: "It's almost ready, you go back and pack up, we're leaving soon. In some places, it won't look good if you miss the day."

Only then did I realize that it was already spring.At the end of April, the flowers are about to bloom.