four year itch

【—I don’t need to be comfortable.I need God, I need poetry, I need real danger, I need freedom, I need good, I need evil. ——In fact, what you are asking for is the right to suffer][1]

"Dad? Why are you here?" Bai Zhuyu quickly stood up.

Ye Jia looked behind him, and saw the majestic old man he saw at Xu's house, dressed in black clothes and trousers, standing at his door with a cane in his hand.The old man's expression seemed to be a little brighter than the last time he saw it at Xu's house, he was no longer lifeless, and he stood there alone without any entourage.

The old man glanced at Ye Jia, then wiped Bai Zhuyu's hand that was reaching out to help him, and walked straight to Xu Ruibai's bed.

Xu Ruibai moved his dry lips, as if he wanted to call him, but he still didn't call out in the end.

The old man glanced at him indifferently, and then apologized to Cheng Jun: "Can Miss Cheng go out first, please? We have some private matters to discuss."

Cheng Jun shrugged.I thought to myself, the broken door and sound insulation effect of this VIP ward is worse than that of a garbage hotel that costs 100 yuan a night, so what’s the point of not being able to get out?

Of course she walked out obediently.

Turning his back to Bai Zhuyu, he said, "Zhuyu, you go out too."

"dad?"

"go out."

"Yes."

Bai Zhuyu bowed his head respectfully, and exited the room.

Before the old man could speak, Ye Jia wisely wanted to follow Cheng Jun out.

"Ye Jia stay."

As soon as he finished speaking, Bai Zhuyu looked back at him, while Cheng Jun raised his eyebrows at him.Ye Jia didn't have time to respond, he didn't know what kind of medicine the old gentleman was selling in the gourd, but he thought it wouldn't be worse than the current situation.

With the sound of closing the door, the old man sat down on the sofa at the end of the bed, and met Xu Ruibai's eyes.The two seemed to be sitting at opposite ends of the negotiating table, facing each other quietly.

Ye Jia felt in a daze that something had changed in the old man, but that change was too nihilistic, and if he had to describe it in a few words, he could probably only use the word "Qiyun", as if passing through the boundary of time, As if something came alive.

"How does it feel to be free?" the old man asked.

"very good."

"Is the price of freedom high?"

"Big."

"does it worth?"

"worth."

After asking and answering, Xu Ruibai hardly hesitated, and the old man didn't pause at all, as if one of them knew the question long ago, and the other also knew the answer long ago.

The room was silent for a few seconds.

The old man took out a thin card from his pocket and placed it on the glass table.The room was so quiet that there was a crisp clicking sound when it was put down, like the sound of dust settling.

Ye Jia followed the voice and saw that it was a brand new ID card.

"This is the last chance to choose. Are you sure you want to give up being Xu Ruibai?"

"Sure." Xu Ruibai didn't hesitate for a second.

The old man nodded and was about to stand up and leave.

Xu Ruibai asked, "Why?"

"Isn't this what you've always wanted? I'll give it to you now."

"You know all the things they did to me right?" was a tone that concealed some resentment.

The old man did not answer.

"Actually, it's all your acquiescence, right?" This time there was more anger, as if he wanted to know an answer paranoidly, he asked, "Why?"

The old man looked at him and said lightly, "Because I also came here like this."

"Being with the light and the dust is sometimes no different from being with the dirty."

The old man smiled, and seemed a little helpless at Xu Ruibai's entanglement: "Everyone came here like this, everyone has a time when they were young."

"It's just that some resisted and some accepted, but in the end everyone's choice will be the same. It doesn't matter whether I know it or not, or whether I acquiesce. This is a fact."

Xu Ruibai stopped asking, and looked at the old man silently, as if asking why he helped him.

The old man looked at Xu Ruibai, then at Ye Jia, and said, "But you are an exception. You have already gone farther than everyone else, so it's okay if I help you."

Such a story is very clichéd, but in the end it is still necessary to use the clichéd word "fate" to define it.

After a long time, Xu Ruibai asked: "Then did you resist?"

The old man didn't answer his question: "While I'm alive, I can guarantee that no one from the Xu family will come looking for you. When I'm gone, I hope you're really free."

"Don't worry about Xiao Ke, I will take her with me."

After a few seconds of silence, Xu Ruibai slowly said, "Thank you, Grandpa."

Mr. Xu didn't respond. He stood up on crutches, smiled softly and said, "I will try my best to live a long life."

As he spoke, he smiled and nodded to Ye Jia, who also bowed slightly to him.Afterwards, the old man walked towards the door, halfway through, as if he suddenly remembered something, he turned around and asked Xu Ruibai, "Have you been to Scarborough Fair?"

"Ok?"

"Didn't you go to Boscono when you were in college?"

Xu Ruibai thought of the fishing village town he passed by on his way of wandering, full of the smell of parsley, sage and rosemary.

"Ah."

The old man nodded in satisfaction, and said: "Two people go to see, the scenery will be better."

After finishing speaking, he turned around, as if talking to himself: "Go...go."

Go ahead, do things we didn't dare to do in the past, and live stories we didn't dare to live in the past.

May your bridges be strong and your tunnels bright.

The door of the ward opened, and Bai Zhuyu, who was standing with his chest folded, came up immediately, and Cheng Jun, who was smoking at the other end of the aisle, also looked over, but he didn't intend to approach.

"From now on, Xu Ruibai will no longer be a member of our Xu family." The old man's voice was neither high nor low, which happened to be heard clearly both inside and outside the ward.

"Dad!" Bai Zhuyu had actually heard it all over the place, and it was hard to rush into the ward to interrupt him, but now he still tried to stop it.

The old man also knew what she meant, and before he could open his mouth, he asked, "Zhuyu, how long have you been married into the Xu family?"

Bai Zhuyu replied in a low voice: "32 years."

"It's only been 32 years..."

After speaking, he smiled and shook his head and walked out.

It turned out that in just 32 years, a person who was completely unrelated to the Xu family could integrate so well with this place.

Should it be said that the place of Xu's family is too beautiful, or should it be said that human nature is too disappointing?

[1] Excerpted from "Brave New World"