want to be your person

After Daihe and Dingka finished talking, they went back to work in the study and left Dingka to hang in the living room.Dingka regretted it. If he could go back in time, he would not get married. Would it be possible to stay with Chen Mo for a long time?Ding Ka didn't know until now that he had no sense of security. He hadn't had it all along. It wasn't that Chen Mo couldn't afford it, but that he didn't have confidence.

Dinka fell asleep on the sofa in a daze. There was a cold touch in the air. After an unknown amount of time, Dinka felt that someone was hugging him, and there was some warmth in his embrace. When he opened his eyes, it was true. It's Chen Mo who is back...

"You'll catch a cold if you sleep here, let's go to bed and rest." Chen Mo carried Dingka to the bed in the room, took off his coat for Dingka, and then covered him with a quilt. Chen Mo just supported his head with his hands next to Dingka Lying lazily.

"Mo..." Dinka exhaled in a low voice.

"What's wrong?" Chen Mo gently stroked Dingka's neck with his hand.

"What happened between Fang Che and Dai He?" Dinka felt Chen Mo's hand on his neck visibly paused.

"I... I'm just asking, I..."

"It's okay... I just find it incredible that even a stupid person like you can see it~~~"

"I'm not stupid!" Dinka was a little angry, and he didn't know why he was angry.

Seeing Dingka's angry look, Chen Mo was a little puzzled: "What's wrong with you, are you angry after joking?"

Dingka covered his head under the quilt angrily and said nothing, what, what is it!Don't tell yourself anything, do you think I don't care about the things between you and Yan Luo?Those five years were the best time between you and Yan Luo, did you really give up completely?Chen Mo? !

"What's wrong with you?" Chen Mo wanted to lift the quilt.

"Chen Mo...how about we don't get married, I'm afraid..." Ding Ka made a muffled sound under the quilt.

Chen Mo was nervous and uneasy, and immediately tore off the quilt vigorously, and pulled Ding Kala out.

"Don't get married? What the hell are you talking about?! It's come to this point, what are you still worried about?!" Chen Mo strangled Dingka's wrist so hard that Dingka felt pain the sound of.

"I'm afraid you'll regret it, I'm afraid we'll get a divorce." Dinka lowered his head, the disappointed expression on his face turned into a large shadow.

Chen Mo suddenly thought of something, his eyes became fierce, and he lifted Dingka's stubbornly lowered chin.

"Daihe told you something?" Chen Mo squinted his eyes, and the streamer refracted wanton rotation overflowed into his eye sockets.

"Yes, he told me a lot, and also said things you dare not say!" Dinka felt uncomfortable, and it was normal to be angry.

"What did you say?" Chen Mo became angry when he saw that Dingka didn't speak.

"What other people say is their business, how we live is our business, why don't you understand?"

Chen Mo's words made Dingka feel even more uncomfortable. He seemed to have forgotten that in fact, this relationship still depends on each other to maintain it. The barriers of parents and the pressure of the world are just external factors. If you persist The result will be better, but if there is a rift between me and Chen Mo, even a small thing can become the fuse of separation, are we too fragile?That relationship, maybe it's nothing, compared to those five years, you and Yan Luo's five years, you don't even want to mention it to me?

"You and Yan Luo..." Ding Ka saw that Chen Mo's eyes were absorbed and dimmed.The light is gone...

"Yes, I had a relationship with Yan Luo..."

"But that's just a thing of the past. Yan Luo and I have passed, Dinka, can you understand?" Chen Mo's tone was very light, but it sounded heavy to Dinka.A thing of the past?It's easy to say, isn't it?If Chen Mo had heard that Yan Luo hadn't betrayed him at all, he wouldn't have said these words, and wouldn't have pushed Yan Luo away to marry him?right?Chen Mo?

Ding Ka is very straightforward, since Dai He threatened him to tell Chen Mo the truth about Yan Luo's departure, anyway, he has to say it sooner or later, so he should be more straightforward, even if it is over with Chen Mo, he will not regret it, Dingka will not allow Chen Mo to have sloppy entanglements in this relationship, to be with him, but still miss Yan Luo, and Dingka does not want to hide the truth about Yan Luo's departure from Chen Mo, if all these are revealed , Chen Mo, how would he choose?

"Dai He told me..."

"Yan Luo didn't betray you, uncle forced Yan Luo to leave you..."

"Daihe also said that Yan Luo didn't give up this relationship on purpose, his mother was in a hurry to spend money..."

Dingka was interrupted by Chen Mo before he finished speaking.

"I know all of this." Chen Mo's tone was unusually calm.

"How do you know?" Dinka opened his mouth in astonishment.

"Yan Luo explained it to me, and I also investigated it..." Chen Mo's tone was a little low, very deep.

"Chen Mo..." Dingka's heart was soaked in alcohol to ferment with soreness and pain.

"You don't tell me anything, how can you let me be honest with you?" Dinka said what was in his heart.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it..." Chen Mo explained anxiously.

"On purpose? Even if you didn't mean it, it hurts here, Chen Mo..." Dingka grabbed the part of his heart fiercely, and the nails were deeply embedded in the hot pain, forcing his eyes to bleed and haggard.

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything, but don't be angry, don't hate me, Dingka..." Chen Mo hugged Dingka who resisted fiercely, his heart was torn off layer by layer, he didn't want to hurt Dingka It's stuck, I absolutely don't want to, but it still hurts...

After Dingka calmed down, Chen Mo hugged Dingka and lay down on the bed.Some tired mouth said.

"Yan Luo can be regarded as my first love. He and I...I met him at school. I remember his refreshing spirit at that time. He was the small and cute type. From the first time I saw him From the first sight, I admit that I feel what love at first sight is..." Chen Mo paused, watching Dingka's face gradually stiffen, feeling a little uneasy.

"It's all over anyway, so let's not talk about it, okay?"

"I want to listen." Dinka would not miss this opportunity.

"Then at school, Yan Luo and I always met in the library. We liked the poetry collections of the same author, and we got to know each other very quickly because of our common interests. Dai He was my death and often came to visit me. Playing, but I didn't expect Daihe to fall in love with Yan Luo. At that time, we were too young, thinking that having it was love, and thinking that losing it was losing. I don't remember the night when I confessed to Yan Luo It's gone..." Ding Ka listened to his heart being tightly entwined with silk threads, leaving shocking scars behind him. He knew that he would collapse if he couldn't listen, but he still wanted to listen to Chen Mo's talk, Zuo?Yes, I did it myself...

"Later we were together, Dai He also knew, he felt uncomfortable but didn't say it out..."

"So I always feel that Dai He treats Fang Che coldly. Is it not an illusion?" Dinka choked out a sentence abruptly.

"kindness……"

The atmosphere suddenly became gloomy, and Dinka covered his head under the quilt again.Chen Mo knew that Dingka was uncomfortable, he was angry...

"It's all over, let's turn this page over, okay, don't be angry with me..." Chen Mo had a pleading tone.

"Well, it's all over, let me lie alone for a while..." Dinka curled up in the bed, like a child who didn't want to get hurt, so fragile and distressing.

"No!" Chen Mo hugged Dingka tightly.

When night fell, Dinka condescended to see the sparkling city below through the glass window, and the high-rise buildings in the distance were also shining with all kinds of dazzling lights. He didn't like it here, not at all. Dinka didn't like these people. Dazzling lights, appear crazy indulgence, appear gorgeous vanity.What's wrong with me?Why not happy at all?

After Fang Che returned home, he made dinner and secretly took Dingka out to play.

"Just go out and play, it's nothing!" Fang Che and Ding Ka really sneaked out, and Ding Ka didn't even say hello to Chen Mo.

On rainy days, the fog gradually fills the city. It is a romantic season on the streets of Paris. Holding an umbrella and wandering by the rivers or lakes near the coast, there is a leisurely mood, but for Dinka, this is sad. In dead silence, looking at those classical buildings, they are so old that it is unbearable to recall their buried history, once brilliant, and now eroded and differentiated.

"Did you quarrel with Chen Mo?" Fang Che saw it.

"Daihe will be worried if you come out like this..." Dinka felt that even if Daihe didn't like Fang Che, he still cared like a relative, right?After all, after living for so long, even if they can't fall in love for a long time, at least they depend on each other, right?

"Worried? Except that he doesn't want to be disturbed by me at work, he doesn't care about the rest..." Fang Che lowered his head with a smile.

"Your family is really worried about you, do you want to make a call?" Fang Che was about to call Chen Mo as he spoke.

"No, I don't want to hear his voice now." Dinka was very confused.

"Okay." Fang Che couldn't say anything after seeing Dinka's persistence.

Fang Che really brought Dinka to a very special bar.

There are no crazy people twisting their waists, no cool lights that make people hallucinate, and there are no disgusting things.There was a very warm song playing in the bar, and Fang Che said it was a very old English song.Dinka likes the environment here quite a bit, there is no noise, no impetuousness, no madness, very plain atmosphere, very simple lighting, very calm men, these people seem to be very educated, just casually order a few drinks on the bar Drinking, chatting with each other like gentlemen, they are actually lovers, and they don't have such behaviors as kissing in public.

When Fang Che persuaded Dinka not to drink too much, the lights dimmed, only the flame of the candle was burning hot.

"There is a link in the bar, which is to tell the story of yourself and the other half, share your happiness with everyone, and let everyone tell you about your love. There is no discrimination, no promiscuity, and no smog here. It's just love. It's just an exchange."

Fang Che dragged Dingka to join in, and everyone sat around candles on the floor stalls, and the lovers cuddled up to each other.

"First of all, please introduce yourself!" A young man presided over the event.

Everyone introduced themselves, including Dinka and Fang Che.

Then the second activity is to tell the story between yourself and your lover.

Some are touching and warm, some are regrettable and distressed, and some are embarrassing. Everyone has a different story.

However, when Fang Che came, he couldn't speak anymore, and the atmosphere suddenly dropped a lot.

"My story?" Fang Che thought for a long time.

"Isn't it sweet?" The boys next to him were curious and wanted to hear Fang Che's story.

"..." Fang Che couldn't tell, really couldn't tell, these years, sweet?happiness?hapiness?It seems that there are very few, almost none, Dai He will send himself flowers on Valentine's Day, just let his secretary choose for him, and then ask his secretary to write something casually on the greeting card, Dai He will send flowers to him on Valentine's Day. On my birthday, I pick myself up for dinner, but I will always be called back by the company's phone call. There is only endless work and endless reading of documents. Daihe will give himself the best, but unfortunately he will not give him what he wants most.

Fang Che knew what he wanted, and it wasn't that Dai He couldn't give it, but he didn't want to give it at all.

So he envied Dingka, Dingka with Chen Mo.

After the bar was over, it was already too late, Fang Che came to this bar by car, because the location of the bar is relatively remote and far away from home, and the rain outside is also crackling.The people in the bar told Fang Che that the road back was slippery and prone to traffic accidents and mudslides, so he had to sleep on the sofa in the bar overnight.

Dingka didn't bring a mobile phone at all, and Fang Che's mobile phone was out of battery. He wanted to borrow someone else's mobile phone to bring a call, but it turned out that there was no signal.

Dingka and Fang Che are planning to go back tomorrow morning.

The temperature dropped sharply at night, and the bar was still cold even with the heater turned on. Fang Che covered Dinka with his coat.

"You'll be cold too!" Dinka wanted to return the coat to Fang Che.

"It's okay, Daihe won't feel sorry for me anyway, if you get sick, Chen Mo will feel bad."

Fang Che's face was blurred under the dim light, and it was impossible to see what kind of expression it was.

"Dinka, I like you..." Fang Che laughed out loud, his voice was as clear as a trickle.

"Ah?!" Dinka was so frightened that even the coat in his hand dropped to the ground.

"Haha, you're so cute!" A dimple appeared on Fang Che's face again.

"I like the way you look at Chen Mo, the feeling that you are the only one for me."

"Did you know? There is also..." in the eyes of Chen Mo looking at you..."

"I envy you, Dinka, really, I'm so envious..."

"So, Dinka, you must cherish it..."

"Be good with Chen Mo." Fang Che still smiled.

"Thank you, Fang Che..." Dingka was very moved, and the pain in Chen Mo's heart was relieved a lot. Perhaps Fang Che's words were a kind of awakening and a kind of enlightenment for Dingka.

"You also want to have a good time with Daihe..."

Dingka felt that although Fang Che was laughing, he was actually crying, because he saw some water stains piled up in the beautiful dimple.

"Sometimes I really give up..."

"That person is really too difficult to attack..." Fang Che still pretended to be relaxed, with a flat tone.

"Then are you going to give up?" Dinka regretted blurting out, his mouth is too cheap!

Fang Che, who loves to laugh this time, didn't make a sound, but the corners of his mouth were tightly pursed into a tight line.

"I wish I had met you sooner..."

"what?"

"Then I can have your eyes, the only eyes that express love to me."

Fang Che suddenly kissed Dinka on the cheek.

"I don't know why, but I feel like seeing you very much, so don't tell Chen Mo about kissing, I'm afraid he will beat me to death!"

"……………………"