night fades

"What about when I grow up?" Bewitched by this tenderness, Zhou Ning'an mustered up the courage to ask, "When I grow up, won't I need a mother?"

"It will be fine when I grow up, really." She squeezed out a smile, turned around and left hastily.

Time is the best medicine, or so they all say.Ling Zi's hands trembled a little, she hoped that Zhou Ning'an would grow up quickly, at least in this way she would no longer need to hurt a child as the only revenge for this absurdity.But does time really heal everything?

She looked at the darkening sky in front of her eyes, she didn't know how to spend the long life after losing that person.

Zhou Ning'an closed the living room door tightly, squatted on the ground, curled up into a small ball, hugged herself and wept softly.He didn't want anyone to see such a humble and abandoned self.

"Will you be fine when you grow up?" Zhou Ning'an muttered to himself, "Will you not be so lonely when you grow up?"

"When I grow up, will someone love me?"

Having cried enough, Zhou Ning'an stood up, wiped away the tears on his face, and thought of Lin Ye.

He wanted very much to have someone to spend time with, talk to, do whatever, he wanted a friend very much.

Zhou Ningan searched around in the bedroom. He dug out an airplane model, and looked at the two racing cars next to him. They were both the latest models. There was no toy on the market that could compare to this one. It was made by the following company. Sent it to him.Zhou Ning'an put them in his schoolbag, thinking that Lin Ye liked both of them, so it should be considered as enough sincerity.

Zhou Ning'an asked the driver to take him to the corner of the street in front of Lin Ye's house, and he ran over by himself. It was very dark, and there were no children outside who were still running around playing games.

Zhou Ning'an was a little scared and cold. He didn't know where Lin Ye lived, so he could only call Lin Ye's name in a low voice.

Shouted a few times, but there was no movement. A black cat walked by the wall. Zhou Ningan almost threw away the schoolbag in his hand in fright. Walk.

"Hey! Rich boy!"

Lin Ye hid in the entrance of the corridor and called him. He didn't know how long he had been watching him there. Did he want to play a game to scare him, or was hesitating whether he should come out to meet him.

Zhou Ning'an ran over in surprise, the small figure under the dim streetlight was all he had expected for warmth at that time.

"Lin Ye!" Zhou Ning'an ran over with a smirk on his face, wanted to hold his hand, but withdrew it, and asked a little nervously, "Are you coming down to see me?"

"Nonsense." The little Lin Ye frowned and stared at him, and whispered, "Why are you still looking for me?"

"I brought a lot of toys, just wait, I'll get them for you." Zhou Ning'an was a little excited. After several days, Lin Ye finally came down to see him.The previous few times he came here, he was only in vain, and the other children around him didn't see Lin Ye very much.

"Hey, pervert, don't you remember what I said to you earlier?"

Zhou Ning'an's hands froze in the air, he stared at Lin Ye blankly, and stammered, "But, but you're already down."

"I'll come down and return these to you." Lin Ye coldly threw a bag at his feet, took a step back, and said with a little disgust: "You like men! Pervert!"

Zhou Ning'an stood there helplessly, looked at the toys he brought to Lin Ye under his feet, and asked stupidly, "I don't like you anymore, can't we be friends?"

"Who wants to be friends with you? What if I am also perverted! Get out, go play with other rich kids, don't come to us!"

Lin Ye ran upstairs while Zhou Ning'an was about to chase her. Lin Ye turned around and spat, "Bah! Don't come here, you are not allowed to like me! Get out!"

Zhou Ning'an was stunned by his scolding, and he realized that he had completely lost Lin Ye as a friend.

Zhou Ning'an stood at the entrance of the corridor for a long time, and the street lights flickered, flickering, flickering and flickering.Only then did he come to his senses, and slowly picked up the things Lin Ye had thrown on the ground just now. The book package couldn't fit anymore, so he took off his coat and carried the toys he had brought to Lin Ye in the past two years. For all the memories of "friends", under the flickering street lights, I walked towards the waiting driver in a daze.

The driver was startled when he saw him like this, and hurriedly reached out to pick up the things in his arms. Zhou Ningan shook his head, and put the toy coat next to a trash can at the corner, and squatted on the ground to look at the toys for a while. Get up and say to the driver: "Let's go, go back."

The driver has been watching Zhou Ning'an grow up, and has worked in Zhou's family since his father's generation, so he knows more or less about the bad things in his family.He knew that Madam ignored this child more or less on purpose, and he also knew that what happened back then was hard to tell, but Mr. Zhou was indeed ashamed of Madam, and even this child was probably for the sake of keeping Madam Insist on it.These two people hurt themselves compared to the competition, but what did this kid do wrong?

He did nothing wrong, he just shouldn't have been born.

Zhou Ning'an walked into the car by himself, his solitary figure, he was quite tall among his peers, and only wearing a shirt made him look thinner.The driver himself has children, so he couldn't help shaking his head, what a crime.

On the way back, Zhou Ning'an kept silent. The driver wanted to comfort him a little bit, but he didn't know what to say. After thinking for a long time, he hesitated and said, "Young master, in fact, those toys don't need to be thrown away. Where are such good things? No one wants to play with you? He doesn't want it, so you can keep it for yourself."

Zhou Ning'an didn't even raise his head, and his voice sounded exhausted, "It's okay, I'm going to add a Japanese class tomorrow, and I'm going to meet shareholders, I don't have time to play."

The driver glanced at him in the rearview mirror, and he huddled in the back seat, looking small because of his emaciation.I wanted to say something more, but considering my body, what I said was inappropriate after all, so I had to keep my mouth shut.

As the car drove into the yard, Zhou Ningan sighed and said, "The doctor Xu Pingchuan I asked about last time, remember to make an appointment for me."

The driver recalled who Dr. Xu was, and nodded in agreement.

Zhou Ning'an dragged himself into the bedroom, wrapped himself in the quilt, waited for the darkness in front of him, and quietly stared at the long seemingly endless night.

He will always remember the night of that day, just like the present one, quiet but ominous.The only difference is that he already has the answer.It won't be better when he grows up, and no one will love him when he grows up.

Zhou Ning'an wrapped himself up a little tighter, the air conditioner was turned on in the room, and he was covered with a quilt, but he still felt cold.The bone-chilling cold seeped out from behind every wall of this house, freezing him almost to the point of rigidity.In memory, there is only one person who is warm, and there is only one place where he can gradually melt.

Zhou Ning'an lay staring at the endless and cold darkness all night, lying motionless, closing his eyes from time to time, but he knew it was futile.In years, since puberty, he hadn't had a good night's sleep without drugs.

Except when she was by Lin Ye's side.

He opened the small drawer at the head of the bed, and in it were the sleeping pills that he had obtained one after another after going to Xu Pingchuan last time. After Lin Ye saw it, he never took it again, and he had saved so much without knowing it. .

Zhou Ning'an hesitated for a while, but still didn't eat. The insomnia was not the most uncomfortable thing at the time, but the most uncomfortable thing was the day after dawn, when he was dizzy and dizzy every second, but he couldn't continue to lie down, and he had to make the most sober and rational choice, reaction No slowing down.