Hanqing Japanese Words

At five o'clock in the morning on the day of Dada's death, heavy rain began to fall in Zhejiang, and crackling thunder echoed across the city. The torrential rain flooded most of the city's streets.

The rain didn't stop until eight o'clock. Cheng Han received the autopsy results of Dada and Xia Zhi at home: they both took a lot of drugs before they died.

Cheng Han threw away his mobile phone and watched the raindrops outside the window wet the grapefruit trees downstairs. Except for the vibrant sound of the rain, everything was dead.

He still remembers the mood when he took drugs, feeling that everything is dead, feeling that he is dead.

But he did not believe that Dada committed suicide because of extreme depression or hyperactivity after taking drugs.

It's not drugs that kill you, it's despair.

He even had a vague feeling that if Dada hadn't quit the drug, he would have been living in a daze like before, or died of cardiac arrest caused by drug overdose like that in Midi. In short, he would not commit suicide.

It was precisely because he was sober during this time, and he was soberly aware that what he was pursuing was about to overturn like the city in this heavy rain, so he committed suicide.

Living is full of pain for him, no matter sober or the hallucinations created by drugs, it has no effect on him, only death, only death, can he be free.

However, this did not make Cheng Han accept the fact that he died. A person... bloody and disintegrated in front of him, fell like an old puppet. At that moment, Cheng Han even thought, if he picked up those broken flesh and blood Put them back together piece by piece, Xia Zhi, Dada, will they come back to life like this?

In an instant, the person was gone, just such a dull sound, a living life, just died like this?

too suddenly!Cheng Han sat paralyzed on the edge of the bed, sometimes the reality was like a nightmare from which he could not wake up. There were thousands of pains and sorrows in the world, but nothing could be more cruel than a sentence of powerlessness.

Guan Qing's side was better, at least there were no casualties in the whole fire, except for a few payments enough to make them go bankrupt, people still survived, and things always had a turning point.

He had been busy all day, and he didn't get the news of Xia Zhi and Dada's suicide from rumors in the factory until the evening. The pictures in Moments were blurry, and he only knew the address and the identity of the suicide. The text is nothing more than bad feng shui on XX Street, or that rock singers are really a high-risk profession. We must stay away from such irrelevant sarcastic remarks.

He didn't think about Dada at first, but he didn't answer Cheng Han's phone until later, and then he got this jaw-dropping news from the old man.

The rain had stopped, and earthworms and disgusting sticky bugs could always be seen on the street. Guan Qing was always on guard against his feet. The corridor was filled with damp musty smell, and the house was pitch dark. He walked into the bedroom and found Cheng Han lay on the bed.

In the darkness, he couldn't hear his breathing, and only saw a figure dimly, without a trace of life.

"Cheng Han?" He called him softly.

Cheng Han moved his arms and looked at him quietly, and then his hoarse and weak voice sounded in the back room: "Qing'er...I feel so uncomfortable."

Guan Qing went to bed and hugged him, put his head on her chest, followed his back one by one,

"I'm with you, it's okay, I'm with you."

Cheng Han sighed repressedly, put his arms around Guan Qing's waist and pressed it firmly against his body, then he broke free from Guan Qing's arms, as if he felt uncomfortable with this position, and insisted on holding him in his arms like before.

"Qinger,"

"Ah."

Cheng Han blinked in the dark: "Do I treat you well?"

Guan Qing nodded in his arms, "Okay."

"Then what else do you want?"

"No, as long as you stay with me, I don't want anything."

Cheng Han snorted and laughed: "Then we really didn't pursue it! It's so easy to satisfy you if you are full of water."

Guan Qing looked up at him suspiciously, "What do you want?"

"I don't want anything," Cheng Han looked down at him, "as long as you stay with me. Can you promise me something?"

"I promise you anything," Guan Qing said eagerly, holding his face in one hand, staring into his eyes in the darkness, "I can do anything for you, as long as you tell me, I can do anything."

Cheng Han stared at him, as if this request made it difficult for him to say, he opened his mouth, swallowed what he wanted to say.

Guan Qing looked at him in a panic, "Tell me, what do you want me to do for you?"

"I..." Cheng Han said with difficulty: "I want you to die behind me, I think... as long as I live one day, you will live with me one day. If I die, I don't care how you live in the future, But you are not allowed to die in front of me. I can't bear it..." He suddenly choked up when he said this, his brows were frowned in confusion, but the corner of his mouth was still smiling, but a tear fell from the corner of his eye without warning, and it hurt instantly It broke Guan Qing's heart.

"I can't stand it," he closed his eyes tightly, and the corners of his mouth twitched uncontrollably, "In my life, everyone has abandoned me, everyone has left me. Some people, I don't even know what they are now Is she alive or dead... My mother, I don't even know what she looks like or what her name is. I still wonder why she gave birth to me since she didn't want me?

I even wondered if she might be a prostitute who accidentally gave birth to me after being slept with by my father. If I didn't look like my father, I would have doubted whether I was born to him.Maybe she gave birth to me in exchange for money, maybe she hated me and my dad to death, there are so many mothers looking for relatives on TV, why didn't she come to me?Well, even if she came to me now, I wouldn't recognize her.

But what about my dad?Is my dad dead?I always think, you said that my dad is so powerful, he is so capable of fighting and so smart, can he really be tricked by the scam that can be seen through at a glance so that he even lost his life?Could he have been beaten in the head, where is he picking up trash now?Or is there no way to contact me in prison?Or...or maybe I passed by him once. He might be a beggar, one of those disabled people lying on a wooden cart pushing a stereo and begging for money?He may see me, but he can't give up his self-esteem to recognize me. If you say that, how uncomfortable he will be!

Or..." Cheng Han took a deep breath, turned his face away and raised his hands to cover his eyes, but the tears kept streaming down the end of his eyes and disappearing into the hairline of his temples, "Maybe he doesn't want me at all, he just wants to live Alright, living a glamorous and beautiful life like a dog, maybe he already has another son, anyway... People say three years old and old, I see it as that kind of useless waste!It bored him to death!He just used that pretext to abandon me, he didn't want me at all!He doesn't want to see me at all, I'm just an unnecessary burden to him!I……"

"Don't say it, don't say it," Guan Qing covered his mouth, his heart ached to death. He wiped the tears from Cheng Han's face while crying, and just wanted to comfort him, but Cheng Han's voice suddenly changed. full of puzzlement,

"Why do you want to be with me again? Why do you like me?" Cheng Han suddenly turned over and pressed him down, pinching his cheeks vigorously with his right hand, staring at him firmly,

"What do you like about me? I can satisfy you if you like me?" He lowered his voice and said in a gloomy tone, "If you like me, you can go crazy｜You? Have you ever been with other men before? Have you tried?"

"Cheng Han!" Guan Qing just yelled before he grabbed his cheek even harder.

"Shut up!" Cheng Han seemed to be going crazy, his eyes were scarlet, and the strength in his hand was so heavy that he hadn't even realized it, "Didn't you say that you found a man who looked like me? You and him Have you done it? Have you done it with others besides him? Have you done it with many people? Talk!"

Guan Qing's cheeks were sore, and his face was twisted by his pinching. He tried to break the iron claw, but in return he treated him even more fiercely.

"Answer me, talk, won't you?"

"No!" Guan Qing shook his head in pain, and slapped him angrily, but Cheng Han remained motionless. Guan Qing then grabbed the hair on the back of his head and stared back fiercely, "I never did it with anyone! , Only you have always been. Even if I owe|fuck, I will only let you|fuck. You can insult me, why should you insult yourself like this? Do you think the only thing worthy of my liking is your two taels of meat?

Then why don't you fuck me today, so that you don't have to worry about which of us will die first, we might as well follow Xia Zhi's example and die together! "

Cheng Han lowered his head with a complicated expression, but stared back at the next moment: "Then why are you with me? If one day, when I get old, I won't move you anymore. If I can’t give it to you, will you leave?”

Guan Qing leaned close to his face, and said word by word: "I, no, yes! I will not leave you, I will never leave you, I will never be separated from you for the rest of my life. If you want me to die behind you, I will wait for you If you die, then immediately chase after you, and then I will set a fire and burn us both. When I go to the underworld, I will still chase you, stay with you, guard you, and I will follow you in the next life and the next life ,OK?"

He covered Cheng Han's face with his hand and felt the cold wetness, then he raised Cheng Han's head and stared at him sadly, "Cheng Han, I'm so glad you told me this, I'm very happy. You need I, want me to accompany you, I never dared to think that you would tell me these things before. I like you for more than ten years, you ask me why, I don’t know myself. Maybe I like you better than me, You can fight better than me, and you are more free and easy than me. In my eyes, you are better than me in everything, and you are better than me in everything.

These days, since you promised to be with me, you don't know how happy I am. I always feel like I'm dreaming. I dreamed that you hugged me and smiled at me many times.Now that you finally hold me, I gradually feel that this is not a dream.I have gained enough joy and happiness these days, I am a person who has no pursuits, or all my pursuits are only you.

If you feel sad now and you don't want to live anymore, I won't stop you, I will go with you.If there is no you in this world, my life is meaningless.The only thing I want to do now is to make you happy. "

Cheng Han leaned against his chest, listening to his gradually gentle words, the uneasiness and confusion in his heart gradually calmed down, and disappeared like a passing cloud of smoke.

"They're all fucking lunatics!" Cheng Han held his hand, "Emotions are really...crazy."

It is not difficult to understand that Cheng Han judged others by himself, because Su Rida's death was too sudden and inexplicable.Cheng Han is a person with no ideals. He guessed that Dada must have had a dispute with Xia Zhi on the night of his suicide. He may have wanted to die a long time ago, but his relationship with Xia Zhi must have promoted the realization of this idea.

No one knew what happened to Xia Zhi and Su Rida that night, but what happened after their death inevitably became the topic of media hype.

Someone has made a music journal of "27 Club". This club is composed of the world's top rock singers who have passed away. The most famous member is undoubtedly Kurt Cobain. superstars, and the second is that they all died at the age of 27.

The article stated that rock singers are a high-risk occupation, and their life expectancy is shorter than that of ordinary people.

Now Dada can also join this club, although he is not as famous as the other members, and the irony is that when the next day

After the news of his suicide was reported by the media, Dada became popular.He is very popular, and almost all the websites have posted videos of his performances and repertoires. Some people scold him, some feel sorry.

As the old things were brought up again, the black hats that Rock and Roll couldn't escape pressed heavily on their heads again.Alcohol, drugs, promiscuous sex, suicide, and even gays have all been uncovered one by one.

There was a video of Cheng Han and the others downstairs in the hotel that night, and the news that Cheng Han was gay also spread like wildfire. Several gossip articles talked about the love triangle between them, and in the end even Shao Che was involved.

This caused Cheng Han to feel unprecedented anger. For the sake of profit, all sacred things can be defiled, and all dead souls can be discredited.

But anger is useless, they are all busy with the sacrifice ceremony of Dada Touqi, he deserves to be sacrificed.

He left two things in total, one was his outrageously expensive two-handled guitar, which he left to Shao Che according to his last words.The other is his suicide note.

On the first seven nights, they held a rock concert in Kuo Sanniang's bar to commemorate Su Rida. The people who came that night were all friends from the circle, some famous and some not.Six bands including "Prisoner" came to the stage to perform the repertoire composed by Su Rida during his lifetime.

When the prisoner came to the stage at last, Shao Che read Dada's suicide note for everyone.