Hanqing Japanese Words

Of course, now Cheng Han knew that the kiss was not an illusion.

It's a pity that he knew it too late. In fact, it doesn't matter whether it's early or late. If he knew it earlier, he didn't know how to deal with it.

It was early morning when Cheng Han returned home, it was almost dawn, and the sky was at the borderline between light and darkness.

He rushes home every day, because that is the only place where he can feel safe and sleep peacefully.

But now he is suddenly confused, that home seems to be another strange place with unknown things.That thing moved him a little bit, but also made him at a loss.

When he entered the door, he saw Guan Qing waiting in front of the dining table, his eyes sparkling, and the dishes were already set on the table.

"I made porridge, go to bed after eating."

Before he could answer, Guan Qing plunged into the kitchen, quickly filled a bowl of porridge and came out.

The two of them had a quiet breakfast facing each other, Cheng Han wiped his mouth after eating,

"I'm going to bed first."

Guan Qing followed him and stood up, staring at him closely, "Yes."

Cheng Han felt that this scene, no matter how he thought about it, seemed like he had become a family. After he was done with work, there was someone in the family who prepared a meal and waited for him, serving him without complaint.

It can be said that Guan Qing didn't feel anything when he did all this, but it was very warm. After all, there is still a big difference between someone waiting and no one waiting.

At that time, as long as he thought that there were people at home, he felt that going home was the most ordinary thing, and it was because of this ordinary that it was commendable.

But now he thinks, is it because there is someone in the family that he thinks is valuable, or is it because this person is Guan Qing?

Don't think so, Guan Qing is too quiet, maybe anyone with a similar personality to him can give him this kind of atmosphere.

After a while, Guan Qing appeared at the door of the room and looked at him expectantly when he saw that he was awake:

"Can I sleep with you?"

Cheng Han ruthlessly turned his back on him, and quickly turned back, "Why are you so aggressive? Do you think that if I don't say anything, it means you won? You make me very confused by you, do you understand?" ?”

Guan Qing scratched the door frame, not daring to look at him, "Where is the confusion?"

"I..." Cheng Han was speechless, thinking that from brother to lover, can this not be confusing?But he could let Guan Qing go, or let Guan Qing simply give up his heart and like others, but he vaguely felt that something was wrong, nothing was right.

"Forget it, come in." Cheng Han smashed the jar.

Guan Qing smiled slightly, and hurriedly climbed onto the bed without any hesitation.

Two people lying on the bed, this feeling is also very strange to Cheng Han, even if suddenly there are more people, suddenly there is a guard, not to guard against him harming you, but to guard against all his actions, and to guard against himself that will affect him.

He felt Guan Qing's breathing was very light, and the two of them were lying on their backs, the distance between them was less than a fist.

"Are you on duty today?"

"No, I resigned."

"Resigned?" Cheng Han was quite surprised, "Tired of it?"

Guan Qing said: "No, our section chief wanted to work alone, but was short of manpower. He asked me if I would like to follow him. I think it would be good to work alone with him. I can buy some shares. Although it may be tiring in the early stage, after all, I It is better to be able to make decisions on your own business than to work for others.”

Cheng Han thought for a while and agreed, "Well, that's right."

The two were silent again, and after a while, it was Guan Qing's turn to ask:

"Is everything going well at the bar today?"

Cheng Han said: "It's going well, I'll just sing, what can go wrong. I have nothing to say about singing!"

Guan Qing just laughed, "Yes, you sing the best."

Cheng Han sneered: "You have heard several singers sing, how can you be sure that I sing the best?"

Guan Qing stared at the ceiling and said seriously: "I have been to many music festivals with you, and I have seen many live bands, but I still think you are the best."

"What's a good way? Tell me."

"Hmm...it's a very confident and generous feeling."

"Really?" Cheng Han was proud, "Are you awesome? There are so many bands, rock players, folk singers, and a lot of them who sing well, but I have to be the general Cheng Han."

"Yes! You are the best."

Cheng Han felt that this sounded a bit strange, why didn't it sound like a good thing?

But he didn't delve into it, and fell asleep while thinking wildly, but he didn't sleep well, because he always felt that Guan Qing was staring at him.Once during the period, when he opened his eyes, he really caught Guan Qingna's bright eyes, and when he saw them, he immediately closed them tightly, which made Cheng Han very uncomfortable and wanted to get angry.

Then at noon, when Cheng Han had just slept better, he heard a slap outside, as if something was broken.

In his profession, he has to go to bed at dawn, and the last time he wakes up is at two or three in the afternoon.He didn't sleep well at first, but now he woke up angrier.

He opened the door gloomily, and saw Guan Qing squatting on the kitchen floor wiping the broken glass with paper towels, and the trash can next to it contained broken plates and vegetables.

He stepped forward and stared at Guan Qing's hair, and said, "Guan Qing, stand up."

Guan Qing stood up, eyes dodging.

"Can you stop being like this? I'm very uncomfortable when you're like this. Can we still get along like we used to?"

Guan Qing didn't speak, turned around and washed his hands in the sink, turned his back to Cheng Han and said:

"Do you think if I can get along with you like before, do we have to be where we are today?"

After he finished speaking, he picked up the rag, dried the bowls one by one, and put them in the cupboard, but the patterns on the outside of the bowls must be neatly aligned in a straight line.

"You..." Cheng Han was a little hard to say: "Do you just like men, or just like...cough." He didn't finish speaking, but the ambiguity was clear.

"Yes, I just like men, and I like you the most among men." Guan Qing replied calmly.

Cheng Han frowned, this was not something he could be proud of, "Have you tried it?"

"Well, I tried talking last year, and that man's mouth resembled yours, and his figure," he said as he put the cut vegetables into the saucepan, "We ate together, watched movies, dated Yes. Later," Guan Qing paused, as if caught in a very unhappy memory, "we tried to kiss, but it didn't feel right, so I broke up with him."

As long as Cheng Han thinks that Guan Qing has kissed a man, and that man still looks like him, he will feel strange in his heart, like a gnat in his throat, like swallowing a fly.

"So have you tried anyone else?"

"It's not necessary."

"why?"

Guan Qing started to get busy in front of the stove again, but kept saying:

"Imagine that you have someone in your heart. You have liked this person for many years. You know that you can't, so you find someone who looks like him, but you know you are looking for a substitute. You and that person Will you be distracted when kissing? Will you be disappointed when you see that person’s face? Every time you have intimate contact with him, the mood you can’t ask for will be infinitely magnified. Originally, you found a substitute to let Make yourself happy, but in the end you find that it just makes you sad."

Guan Qing stopped, and continued: "Besides, every time I come into contact with him, as long as he touches me, I feel disgusted. On the one hand, I feel disgusted, and on the other hand, I feel that I am sorry for you. Even though you don't know it, Don't care."

His voice was calm and the narration without emotion, but it was even more bitter and unstoppable.

Guan Qing put the dishes on the table and sat down alone.Cheng Han stood beside him like a log for a while, feeling that he had nothing to say, the atmosphere was stiff, and he planned to leave.

He grabbed a T-shirt from the bedroom, walked to the door, and heard Guan Qing say: "Actually, you don't have to go, I should go."

Cheng Han didn't know whether to leave or stay. He didn't bring Guan Qing back to make them feel so comfortable.

"Cheng Han," Guan Qing raised his head and looked at him with pitiful hope in his eyes: "You haven't finished listening to when I started liking you, do you want to finish listening?"

Cheng Han moved his hand away from the doorknob, and sat down in front of Guan Qing, "Speak."