my love

一

Many times, I thought I was dead.

There is no sunlight in the daytime, no star lights in the night, only the boundless darkness, I wander around like a lost soul, wherever I can see a little spark, I will go there, even if there is no end.

I have always suspected that this is a dream, a dream woven by a powerful being.But I can't think of a reason.My memory is slackening and fading little by little, what seems to be a layer of strange dark light slowly appearing in front of my eyes, a completely strange picture that does not belong to me.

And while I am unfamiliar, I feel familiar at the same time.I don't want to admit that the latter is my real feeling, because my subconscious tells me that once I admit it, I can never wake up.

I seem to be caught by someone?

It's not like...

The scene where the fire is burning is very clearly visible. I always see a young man curled up in a corner of the iron gate in this illusory world when he is sleepy. To add the young man's clothes and body, I seem to be able to see all the unwillingness, hatred and strong desire to survive in the young man's wide-open eyes.

This one is familiar... yet distant.

As a bystander, I watched silently as the flames continued to spread, erode, and burn, igniting the boy's clothes, legs, and arms, and even those eyes were completely annihilated in the frenzied flames and could no longer be seen.My vision seemed to be distorted by the heat for a moment, and I returned to the gloomy world.

Still don't know, who is that, who am I, and what I care about for no apparent reason... Is that boy dead?

When it comes to "death", my heart will suddenly throb. Obviously, I am instinctively concerned about this issue.

Who am I?

Why repeat wandering in this "dream".

let me out, okay...

two

The most important thing for a person is emotion or memory, I think it is memory.All emotions rely on memory, and it is the little things that build up all the joys, sorrows, sorrows and joys of a person. If a person is compared to an exquisite container, then what is contained in it is good or bad. memory.

But now I keep losing the most important things.

My heart hurts like it's been hollowed out.

Because now I seem to be alive like a walking dead, all I have is an empty mind.

Who am I and what is my name?

From where, and where is this?

At least tell me, what's my name?

"tell me……"

"tell me……"

"tell me……"

Even if it's just a voice, please let me get rid of loneliness.

three

Besides the loneliness that drives me crazy, there is absolute silence.It's true that I feel lonely when I don't speak, but once I really open my mouth to shout something in this world, that's the real pain.Because no matter what, even if I tear my throat, there will never be a second person to respond.

The only thing you get from talking is more loneliness.

I haven't eaten for a long time, but I don't feel hungry at all. I start to force myself to eat something, because I think I must eat something to live, and I will die if I don't eat. I insist.

No one cares about me, I'm a little nervous.

How can a person who has no memory and no one to accompany him survive in such an empty world?I have only a little pale instinct calling out:

"elder brother……"

"I want to live..."

Who is brother?how to liveI have no idea.

...I don't want to cry.

Fingernails are painful.

four

There is a pure white flower, once stained with blood, and then soaked with madness, it will outshine Manjusawa.

I have experienced the feeling of having no memory for too long, and I felt unbearable after suddenly many fragments of pictures that should not exist in my mind.

The stretched string in the brain is about to snap.

No one can bear and feel the pain of ignorance instead of me, and no one can experience the feeling of being suddenly implanted with too many messy fragments in a completely blank brain, but after a long time, it is like experiencing a kind of abuse The pain and joy, because there is still pain, and I can still feel the meaning of my life and a strong sense of existence.

五

"I... still want to live..."

"Do you still want to escape after seeing this?"

"...Are you still qualified to escape?"

"You have to stay, stay here forever...I'll let you see the end..."

remain silent.

Keep silent.

Stay here forever.

Dedicate yourself forever to me, to me.

You, don't need consciousness...

"I... don't need consciousness?"

just accept...

"Just accept...?"

Watch me take revenge on these liars for you...

"what……"

六

The hot stairs, turns, and the sound of "thumping" heartbeats, the screams that hurriedly passed by my ears and disappeared, I clung to the handrails and climbed desperately.

Flame was finally temporarily left behind. I suppressed the fear in my heart and stumbled into the room on this floor.

"!" I was taken aback by the person who suddenly appeared in front of me, staring suspiciously at the other person's pale face, "You...you, why are you here?!"

He tilted his head expressionlessly and asked, "Where's brother?"

"What brother! You trash!" I suddenly burst into anger, "Don't you know that trash? Now the house is on fire! Everyone is dying! You trash, you should hide earlier!

"Where is my brother...?"

"Where do you have a brother? How do I know?? Ah! Brother Ziliang..." I suddenly thought of my elder brother and panicked.

……

When he pushed the wheelchair and finally left, his eyes were surprisingly cold, and I couldn't help but flinch.

elder brother……

elder brother……

Terrified, I shrank in this small, temporarily safe room, not daring to go out, but kept hoping that someone would come in and rescue me.

But when my brother came, the first question he asked was not me, but—"A Cheng, is it you..."

I tremble. "Brother, I... I'm scared!"

I lied. "Brother, I don't know! I'm scared! Brother!"

I really wanted my brother to take me out together, but my brother was so full of nothing but that trash, he bit my finger and asked me to go upstairs.But I didn't hesitate to turn around and look for the waste who didn't know where to go.

I could only grit my teeth, thinking over and over again of the tragic death of my sister, my eyes were completely blurred by tears, and I was tortured by extreme fear, rolling and crawling...

My brother will be here soon... I want to hurry up, hurry up and listen to my brother!Brother will definitely come!

Sister... Sister...

sister!sorry! !

Tears washed down his cheeks as if they were endless.Until the final despair, before being completely swallowed by the fire, my last fantasy was still that my brother could come back to me again.

"I want to live!" Because I want to wait for my brother.

"I want to live!" Because my brother will take us away together.

I don't want to die like this, sister, you are dead, but I must live... no matter what I pay...

include……

"... Be good, just give me your soul."——You can have everything.

...my soul.

Until "death", my favorite brother did not come.

From the time he chose to go downstairs to look for that trash, he completely abandoned me, my beloved brother abandoned me, and no one will know about my miserable "death" at the end...

But why.

Please tell me, please tell me, please tell me.

Leave my reasons behind.

If I can only choose one of the two, is it true that I can only be abandoned.

In the face of pain, I exist beyond recognition.

just to live... please tell me...

Give me a dead end, no reason to come looking for me, no hesitation to leave.

I struggled in my pale memory, not knowing life or death.

Anyway, I betrayed all of me, and it's... broken.

Seven

"Nian Song."

"Did I show you what I showed you?"

"...that's not true." No, those are true.

"You don't resent the truth behind it?"

"...I said it's not true!" I really hate it.

"You don't want to take revenge on those who wantonly abandoned you?"

"……"I really want.

Then-

destroy it.