Chinese Almanac Master

The Huang Li hanging on the wall suddenly spoke human words. If ordinary people heard this, they would probably faint from fright at that time.But this Xiao Nanzhu has never been afraid of these things since he was a child. Although he was taken aback at the moment, he did not act too exaggeratedly.He took a step back almost subconsciously, and after confirming that the carp boy on the calendar was talking to him just now, he opened his mouth incredulously,

"Ah, now the almanac has a voice call function..."

"..."

Xiao Nian on the calendar was already sulking, but when he heard Xiao Nanzhu say that, he immediately puffed up his face in displeasure.He originally thought that this year he could sleep through it like in previous years, and he didn't need to be busy with anything.Who knew that when it was twelve o'clock when I got off work, I was actually disturbed by this guy named Xiao Nanzhu.Lishen like them, who work one day a year, are all squeamish because of the low work intensity, and the few who are approaching the end of the year are even more lazy than each other.Among them, Xiaonian who is in charge of Xiaonian is the representative.

Originally, the Chinese New Year is all about red envelopes, reunion dinners, and warm quilts. A few days ago, Laba and Lichun, they can all get by so easily. How could it be my turn to be so unlucky...

Thinking of this, the chubby face who should have been beaming wrinkled up. Xiaonian really wanted the baby red carp in his arms to throw this guy's face in the pond again, but seeing Xiao Nanzhu who was quite tall and bulky. He looked quite big, and he didn't dare to be naughty casually, and Xiao Nanzhu, who hadn't figured out what was going on until now, was still a little drunk, but at this time he was half sober, he subconsciously wanted to lift Touching the old lady's old almanac with his hand, what's wrong with it, but in the next second, a vividly drawn big fat boy was holding a big red carp, with a dazzling golden light coming from his bare buttocks. The calendar climbed down.

"Hey! If you have anything to say, hurry up! Don't ink! I only have [-] minutes! What's the matter? Ask good fortune, fortune, zodiac signs, or Duke Zhou interpreting dreams..."

The little fat man, who looked as good as a golden boy, started trying to talk to Xiao Nanzhu as soon as he landed. He was wearing a red bellyband and hugging a red carp, which seemed festive and cute.He just watched Huang Li speak human words, and now Xiao Nanzhu, who saw the calendar turned into a living person again, the hairs on his back stood up, and he couldn't speak a word at all, and this carp boy seemed to be used to seeing humans for the first time. When I was so dumbfounded, I just stroked my double chin and muttered in a low voice,

"Forget it, forget it, it's not in vain to call me out, I'll do something for you, after all, it's a working day and you can't be perfunctory... Let me see, today you are not suitable to take a bath, you are not suitable Make a fire..."

Xiao Nanzhu came back to his senses from the little fat man's muttering. He pinched the bridge of his nose, eager to make sure that what he was seeing now was a hallucination he saw only after drinking too much.After all, the education he received over the past twenty years told him that everything before him was unscientific and should not have happened, but in the next second, he suddenly smelled a bad smell near his nose. the taste of.

"What does it taste like... Sizzling squid..."

Sucking his nose and talking to himself, Xiao Nanzhu, who usually has a good mind, now has a rusty mind. After speaking, he turned his head and glanced at the carp boy beside him, and also Xiao Nian, who was sniffing and smelling, first thought with him for a while, then suddenly changed his face and said,

"Ahhh!! You are so big, squid!! I told you not to start a fire!! It's on fire! It's on fire!!!"

The yelling Xiaonian was so frightened that he threw away the red carp in his arms, grabbed Xiao Nanzhu's trousers and hurried to the kitchen, suddenly remembered that Xiao Nanzhu, who had boiled a pot of water just now, also returned immediately. After being overwhelmed, he ran into the kitchen with the carp boy.

After rushing in to take a look, he found that the water in the thermos was almost boiled dry, the gas stove was on fire, the whole kitchen was filled with a pungent smell of thick smoke, and a large area of ​​flames had ignited on the ground.Seeing this, Xiao Nanzhu hurriedly covered his mouth and nose and pulled the curtain next to him to throw off the flames that sprang up. When the sparks splashed on him, he quickly waved away, and Xiao Nian who followed him I don't know where I got a washbasin, and I took a large basin of water and staggered to extinguish a large cluster of flames on the ground.

"Huh...huh...so dangerous...I'm exhausted..."

Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, Xiaonian helped Xiao Nanzhu put out the fire, his chubby face was completely smoked.He has been staying in the almanac on weekdays and only works one day a year, so the physical strength can be imagined.Xiao Nanzhu, who had lingering fears in his heart, was also relieved when he saw this, but he turned his head to look at the half-burned kitchen, showing a slightly puzzled expression.

If it wasn't for this little fat man who appeared in his home out of nowhere, he might have just fallen asleep in the living room.He never thought that the liquefied petroleum gas in the kitchen would actually age like this because no one lived in it for a long time, and as long as he drank a lot of wine and fell asleep in such a fire, then 2027 would pass in a few days... ...I really lived to the end.

Thinking like this, I don’t know why I felt a sense of gratitude for the rest of my life after the catastrophe. Xiao Nanzhu, who was completely sober at this time, didn’t want to find out who this little fat man who ran down from the calendar was. This kid can be regarded as his own savior.Xiaonian, who just helped out, naturally didn't expect Xiao Nanzhu to accept his existence so quickly, and was still wiping his dirty face with his little hands, but in the next second, he seemed to suddenly think of something He stared at him, then ran back to the living room barefoot.

"Hey, what are you running for? Are you cold with bare feet..."

Following the little fat boy, he ran out quickly, Xiao Nanzhu felt that he had suddenly become a father, and he was a little worried when he saw the fat boy running around, but when he came out chasing the dead boy, he wanted to give When he casually found a pair of cotton slippers and put them on first, he saw the little bastard squatting beside the sofa, staring at the red carp lying on the floor with its eyes rolled, tears were about to fall from its eyes down.

Xiao Nanzhu: "..."

"Xiaohong...Xiaohong...Xiaohong is dead...ahhh..."

Tears fell down like he didn’t want money, just now he was in a hurry to help Xiao Nanzhu put out the fire, this stupid child lost his precious carp and ran to the kitchen, but he forgot that fish can’t live long without water, and when he thinks about it again When I woke up, my poor red carp was still lying on the floor of the living room kicking dryly, this red carp, which originally symbolized the surplus of every year, had already curled up its braid miserably.

Covering his eyes with his hands and crying, Xiaonian lost his precious red carp, so he was crying very sadly.Brought him a small bench for him to sit on, and found him a pair of big cotton slippers, Xiao Nanzhu almost hiccupped seeing the little fat man crying, pinched his face impatiently for a long time road,

"Okay, okay, don't cry, uncle, I'll buy you another one at dawn, okay? If you like carp, buy carp, if you like grass carp, buy grass carp, if you like soft-shelled turtle, buy soft-shelled turtle..."

His tone was like that of a big bad wolf who eats children. Xiao Nanzhu, who was tormented this night and was on the verge of going crazy, sat down and began to persuade Xiao Nian who had lost his love fish before he had time to clean up the messy kitchen.If this was normal, he would have been impatient and beat the child directly, but this little fat man tried his best to save himself after the Chinese New Year, so it was rare for Xiao Nanzhu to restrain his temper and become a confidant uncle. This young man's eyes were red from crying, but when he heard Xiao Nanzhu's stupid words, he cried even more sadly.

"Wait for dawn, woo woo...it's too late...it's all your fault...it's all your fault woo woo...my little red... woo woo..."

"Hey, why blame me, Xiaohong obviously has a bad life..."

"It's your fault!! It's your fault!! Woohoo!"

"All right... Blame me, blame me..."

Once the child started to cry, he coaxed him to cry more and more fiercely. Xiao Nanzhu, whose head grew big from crying, almost knelt down and called for his father, but in the end he couldn't make the fat boy laugh out of tears.He was still thinking about whether he could let this little ancestor explain to himself why he could predict the fire and why he appeared here, but Xiaonian patronized crying and made it clear that he didn't want to have too much with him comminicate.Xiao Nanzhu didn't know what to do when he saw it, he thought that he should keep this mysterious fat boy to himself first, and see if he could get something out of him in the future. Then, he stood up directly and said to Xiaonian who was sitting on the small bench,

"There's nothing to eat at home, and I still have some sesame paste, can I make it for you?"

Xiao Nian just cried and ignored him, Xiao Nanzhu took a cigarette in his mouth and went straight to make sesame paste for his little ancestor. Before entering the kitchen, he glanced at the wall clock, and the hands on it showed that there was still 1 minute left. It's past zero.Xiao Nanzhu didn't care, and re-boiled the pot of water when he entered the kitchen. This time he was waiting by the induction cooker, so it took a little longer, but after he came out after 10 minutes of busy work, the original Xiao Nanzhu, with a lazy expression, was surprised to find that there was no one beside the sofa outside.

The little fat man is gone, and the red carp is gone.

He didn't hear any anti-theft door being opened just now, and it's impossible for a child to run out in the middle of the night...

His heart suddenly became half cold. As soon as Xiao Nanzhu put the small porcelain bowl in his hand, he hurried to the old almanac hanging on the wall. He didn't know what drove him. Everything was indescribably inexplicable, but just when Xiao Nanzhu ran to the old Huang Li and glanced at it, the first thing he saw was the festive and lovely picture depicted on it. With his bare butt facing his own carp boy and the... dead fish in his arms.

Xiao Nanzhu: "..."