[Natsume] When the sun shines

Because there was still class to attend, Natsume left the lunch box and left.

The boy's back is very thin, as if he could fall down with a light push, but I know that that back is not just thin.

I carefully picked up the rabbit made of dogtail grass, which is fluffy and very delicate. I can imagine his careful look when weaving the rabbit, and I can also imagine his slender and beautiful fingers hooking on the slender grass stems. tenderness.Therefore, the heart will be more moved.

"Xiao Hei, isn't it pretty?"

I stared at the rabbit in my hand, and asked the monster next to me who seemed to have been watching for a long time but didn't say a word.

It's quiet, which I'm really happy with.

No one answered for a long time.

I suddenly turned my head to look at the place where Xiao Hei was lying on his stomach, but found that Xiao Hei had disappeared without a trace.

...It's a good habit not to be a light bulb, hehe.

A slight sense of fear sprouted in my heart.

I put the rabbit down carefully and reached for the bento box.Some thick quilts were torn apart by my actions, and the book of poems on the quilt rolled and fell to the ground under my actions. froze.

The floor of the school's infirmary is paved with ceramic tiles, a piece of clean white, which makes people feel faintly unable to breathe.

I blinked my eyes, rubbed the corners of my eyebrows, and felt an inexplicable sense of fatigue in my heart. In order to prevent me from going crazy again, Xiao Hei put a restriction on me and controlled the demon power in my body. Actually, I don't think it really matters yes, just...

There was sunlight shining on the floor, reflecting dazzling white.

It's just that when I look at monsters now, I feel a hazy feeling.

I silently looked at the collection of poems that fell on the floor, and gradually put down my convenient hand, and then slowly covered my eyes.

So sad.

Feeling, so sad.

When I can't see the monster, I feel, so sad.

The feeling of wanting to cry is like the gorgeous red leaves that have passed through the autumn. Under the call of early winter, the color is gradually extinguished, and it turns into the sadness of falling dead leaves.

Natsume, you can see monsters.

This incident made him feel a little troubled.

Even though those eyes always seem to be filled with shallow tenderness, I feel it.

That kind of faint perplexity, bewilderment, and even a little disgusting.

He didn't want to see the monster.

I am not Natsume, even though he is the person I like, but I think I have never walked into his heart, I don't know what he likes, I don't know what he wants, I don't know his past, I don't understand his feelings...

I never knew that I was so ignorant of the boy in my heart.

An inexplicable panic rose in my heart, and the feeling of being betrayed suddenly rushed to my throat. I pulled the corner of the quilt, and my finger bones were blue and white.

Why do I like Natsume?

I looked blankly at the pale surroundings, the gentle smell of sunshine and gardenias in the air, I slowly lifted the sheets on my body, and got off the bed with bare feet.My foot suddenly went limp, I staggered and fell to the ground.

The knee hurts from the fall.

I half-kneeled on the ground, stretched out my hand, and picked up the collection of poems that fell on the floor. The cover was exquisite, and the English letters were round and smooth with a touch of free and easy. When I opened the title page, the girl's smooth signature was entangled in a corner. As soon as people see it, they can recall her shy eyebrows and the faint smile on the corners of her lips.

Everyone here is untrue to me.

But why...?

Yeah, why?

The cold feeling of the floor penetrated into the bones, something fell out of my arms, the sound of metal colliding with tiles was clear and cold, I took a slight breath, stood up in a panic, picked up the pocket watch that fell out, and looked at it carefully , I was slightly relieved to make sure that nothing was damaged.

But he couldn't help but feel more at a loss than before.

What if one day I lose sight of monsters?

Hayakawa Liu's gentle amber eyes immediately jumped into my mind, and I vaguely remembered her soft smile, "Xiao Mu, I will let you have a good life, I swear."

The panic in my heart dissipated a little, I clenched the watch in my hand, and lowered my eyelashes slightly.

My legs are still a little weak, Xiao Hei is really ruthless in attacking, and I don’t leave anyone with any time to prepare. I just lost control when I was talking to Duoguitou just now, and it sealed all the strength in my body. A little bit.

It's just... that's fine.

The sunshine outside was gentle and bright. I found my sneakers and put them on, and carefully tied each shoelace. I hugged Natsume’s bento box, multi-track poetry collection, and Hayakawa-ryu’s pocket watch in my arms, and then Stumbled and was about to leave the infirmary.

"Eh? That classmate... are you alright? Just now you took your temperature and felt a little feverish, don't you want to hang a bottle of water?"

The doctor in the infirmary is a gray-haired old man wearing thick presbyopic glasses. Seeing that I opened the door to go out, he hurriedly asked me.

Holding a pile of things in my arms, I shook my head, "No need..."

I turned around to leave, but after thinking about it, I went back again, "Sorry, please give me the opening certificate."

"……Um?"

Putting the note written by the old man in my pocket, I lowered my brow slightly.Looking at the pile of things in his arms, for some reason, a touch of satisfaction appeared in his heart.

Is it true that even if there are no monsters, I can still love this world safely...

Is it possible that I can be cared for even if there are no monsters?

Don't be afraid of the terrible cold in winter, don't worry about the sudden warmth and coldness of spring, don't worry about the scorching sun in midsummer, don't be sad about the depression of everything in autumn...

So, I don't want to be a worrying child anymore.

Tightening the things in my arms, I grabbed a classmate who seemed to be checking hygiene, "Excuse me, where is the teacher's office?"

"Over there...turn left and go straight...up the stairs and then turn right."

"...Well, thank you."

"No, no thanks."

I walked slowly, stepping on the sunshine of late autumn and the gentleness of gardenias, on the clean path cleaned by the students on duty, turned a few turns, and then stopped.

It was as if I was living by the power of the demon before. Only after the power of the demon was sealed, I realized that I was so weak as a human being.

My body started to sweat, and I had no strength in my limbs. I took a breath, walked slowly to a sycamore tree, and then leaned against the tree and sat on the grass.

This season, there are not many green grasses left, and the withered and yellow grass dyed my sight, I closed my eyes a little tired.

But Xiao Hei's words couldn't help lingering in his ears.

"You're starting to lose control."

"Maybe the reason for the loss of control at the beginning was those messy dragon spells that were not adapted by me, but it is absolutely impossible to happen so frequently."

"You're going to lose your mind, you're going to hurt people, you're going to be like those fallen monsters—"

What did I say?

I said, "I won't hurt anyone."

At that time, I really thought that even the smell of disinfectant in the ward was mixed with the scent of gardenias, how could I bear to hurt this beautiful town?

"But you wanted to kill that girl just now." Xiao Hei's voice was very quiet, and those golden pupils were no longer filled with countless murderous intent and blood as before, but were as quiet as if they had been redeemed. And indifferent, faint, filled with a soft and gentle feeling like the sun.

This is what a dragon looks like.

This is what Zhao Lan looks like.

What did I want to say at the time?

Ah, I didn't say a word at the time.

Why would I want to kill Multi-Rail Tohru?how could be?

I asked myself over and over again, even in the darkest time of my life, even in the most desperate time for this world, I never thought about killing people, or killing monsters.

But, why did you tell me that the demon power would get out of control when I started to feel hopeful and warm about this world?

It's so cruel.

I stayed under the plane tree for a while, maybe only a quarter of an hour, maybe half an hour.

I can see vague shadows passing by the side of the road, like ghosts, and there are also small shadows, the size of a palm, but I can't see their appearance clearly.

When I saw them, I rubbed my eyes habitually. When I was not awake, the world was always blurred.

But even if I rubbed my eyes until they hurt, they still looked the same.It was vague, as if I was six hundred degrees shortsighted all of a sudden.

But I don't have glasses to see clearly.

Feeling the strength in my body slowly returning, I hugged the things in my arms tightly again, stood up, and walked towards the office step by step.

All the teachers had gone to class. When I opened the door, there was only one teacher who seemed to be wandering around the door of the classroom.

It looks very familiar, I thought about it, it seems to be...

"Grade director?" I called out with some uncertainty.

When looking at people, it is not as blurry as looking at monsters.The grade director is a very beautifully dressed woman. When I opened the classroom door, she was flying on the computer keyboard with five fingers flying. Her fair and beautiful fingers were painted with blood-like nail polish. She was wearing a beautiful fiery red dress. Seeing me calling her, she frowned thinly and looked up at me, "You are..."

There is a light makeup on her face, which is very natural, not tacky, but rather beautiful, and it matches her outfit very well.

Of course, the purpose of my coming here is not to see this beautiful grade director.

"I have a fever and I'm here to ask for leave."

It is very impolite to ask for leave with a bunch of things in your arms.

No one taught me, but that woman once said it.

She said that when you visit others, you should have a light smile on your face, whether it is sad or sad, at least, don't let the guests you visit feel sad because of you.

That is a kind of tenderness.

Although it has nothing to do with it.

But I feel that I can't laugh at all, "I... come to ask for leave."

"Huh?" The grade teacher narrowed his eyes to look at me, and closed the computer, "You should tell your class teacher..."

"I'm sick." I put the certificate written by the old man on her desk, "I'm tired..."

I looked at her, "I think, if I stay here any longer, I will die of grief."

"..."

The grade director finally approved me to ask for leave.When I was leaving, I heard her muttering, "Didn't this child always go out through the back door without asking for a leave slip...Is his brain burned out today?"

"..."

This is really a very sad thing.

It turns out that I often skip classes is already known to everyone.

I thought I was hiding well.

The author has something to say: I want good-looking column pictures and advertisements (TAT

Well, I can't see the monsters... This is really interesting (enough for you grave egg!!

Thank you He Wan and Mi Nuo for mine (bow

Now that I have a computer, Sajia is no longer a scumbag game, and I will work hard to code _(:з」∠)_, so in response to the calls of all the girls, the era of daily updates has come! (sprinkling

Post at [-]:[-] am _(:з」∠)_

☆、weak X missing

Holding a pile of things in my arms, I walked slowly along the way home.

The blue sky above my head was clean and clear, but I was not in the mood to appreciate it. I lowered my head and watched the red canvas shoes step on the ground without leaving any footprints, step by step, step by step, just like that, walking slowly.

The body is slightly weak.

…No, maybe not just a little weakness.

I stretched out my hand to support the wall on one side. It was not very high. When I looked up, I could see the branches of unknown fruit trees sticking out of the wall. The slanted branches were dry and lifeless. The only leaf was also yellow. Under the sun Dyed with a light golden streamer.

I took a breath and felt that it was a bit difficult to raise my head. What happened?

Yes, what happened.

That feeling of desolation eroded my heart bit by bit, like a terrible nightmare, slowly eroding my will...

Do you love humans?

Qin Mu said a year ago, no love.

what do you love

Qin Mu from a year ago replied, I love monsters.

But now what?

Now, there is no more Qin Mu.

The one here now is Mu Hayakawa.

I leaned against the wall and squatted down slowly. My fingers rubbed against the rough wall to create a warm feeling. I felt that the sun was a bit dazzling, and it seemed that it was difficult to even breathe.

Just like when I was a child.

Hayakawa Mu, have you ever fallen in love with humans?

I hugged the things in my arms - Hayakawa-ryu's pocket watch, Natsume's persimmon cake, Duoguitou's "Asuka Collection"...

"like."

I heard my low voice, with a feeling of crying, like the sad whine of a thorn bird when a thorn hits its throat, "But..."

However, I prefer monsters.

I prefer monsters.

Or rather, love.

I have never hated this world, even when I think I should hate, there is always something that pulls me back from the abyss to the ground.

It's a pity that the ground is not heaven, but it is much better than the abyss.

And the things that have saved me time and time again are, unfortunately, monsters.

I felt warm liquid slipping from my eye sockets, dripping onto the ground, wetting the dust on the road——

I really like monsters.

I love all monsters in this world.

Whether evil or good, whether ugly or beautiful.

I want to see monsters.I want to see what they look like, I also want to find the beautiful monster who brought me to the orphanage, and I also want to listen to the stories of every little monster who occasionally climbed to my window sill in every quiet and lonely midnight ...

I raised my eyes, the glare of the sun spread out the intense white, I thought in a daze, what should I do... Please let me see you again...

Little black!

Can I still see Xiao Hei?

Panic suddenly surged into my heart, I took a breath, stood up slowly while leaning on the wall, confusion slowly gripped my whole heart——

"Little Black..."

I heard my voice, very low, like the whine of a wild animal, "Xiao Hei..."

"is crying?"

Clear voice, with a little taste of sunshine.

It was a familiar voice.

I raised my head in a daze, and the blue-haired boy squinted his eyes and smiled at me, his long and narrow eyes shining beautifully in the sunlight, "Why are you crying?"

why cry?

No... did I cry?

I stared at him greedily, inch by inch, from his light blue hair, narrow eyes, and delicate cheeks, from top to bottom, inch by inch.

I wanted to stand up, but I really didn't have any strength left.

I heard me say, "I didn't cry."

I looked at him, staring at him firmly, "Are you a monster, or a human?"

He smiled bluntly, "Of course you can see me if you hold my things. But, I don't know about other monsters."

...with his stuff?

It was as if a basin of cold water had been poured on my head. Even though there was an autumn tiger emitting light and heat from my head, I still felt icy cold all over.I slowly lowered my head, and carefully put the things in my arms on the ground. I slightly drew back my lowered eyelashes, feeling like I was laughing at myself.

A token of the monster.

With nothing to spare, I took out the handkerchief from my pocket and looked at him, "I forgot to wash it for you, sorry."

I don't know what the fabric of the handkerchief is, it is smooth and soft, it feels very delicate, silky and comfortable.

"Hey." But he didn't answer, just looked at me with a smile, an unknown light flashed in his crooked eyes, with a bit of sly taste, "Mumu, are human beings fun?"

My pupils shrank suddenly!

"Sure enough, Zhao Lan was very careless. I only used a little illusion to lure her away. Hey, Mu Mu, you have no demon power and can't even see monsters. What should you do now?"

Under the clear blue sky, the boy's bright smile looked extremely gentle, like a dream from which he could never wake up——

"Let you leave the human body in dreams and pain, so you can return to the dragon realm with me?"

"Dragon Realm..."

I murmured, feeling like my thoughts were soft in a ball of cotton, slowly, slowly, disappearing...?

Dragon Realm is the hometown of dragons.

I felt a warm hand caressing my head, the boy's voice was very clear, "Humans are dirty creatures, don't play with them, okay?"

It is so clean that there is no trace of malice.

Yep...no malice.

With the cleanest and purest purpose, let me fall into the memories of the past again and again, and then——

"Mu Mu doesn't need nightmares... I just let Mu Mu fall into the memory, and Mu Mu dare not wake up."

It's like the whole world has been subverted, and it's like the world has subverted me.

I feel that the world is slowly being covered by darkness.

"Hayakawa—"

"Mu Hayakawa, you stupid woman—"

"Little Mu..."

A distant voice came, that anxious feeling... who is calling me?

Xiao Hei?

... Xiao Hei is no longer controlled by evil spirits, and now he is already a dragon.

I saw the light and warmth in those eyes, and there is very little killing and blood.

I don't know, will it be out of control after seeing the exorcist?

There is also a boy with a very gentle voice.

It looks like the most exciting human being in my heart...

……

Winter in the city is always so cold.

I hold an old hot water bottle, clutching my chest, trying to feel the warmth of winter.Occasionally, I raised my head to look at the sky. In the gray and hazy weather, some ghosts and monsters with black shadows flew through the air, and then disappeared without a trace like a dream.

The temperature of the hot water bag slowly decreased until I couldn't feel any warmth.

Fingers are cold and stiff.

I looked at my hands, which were very small, but turned purple from the cold, blinked my eyes, turned around, and ran slowly back to my little room.

They live together.

I, live in this place.

Pushing open the dirty old door, I walked into my own little world. The corners here are covered with dense spider webs, and occasionally I can hear the cry of mice, but I feel very kind.

People here are too cold.

It feels like ice cubes.My heart is trembling because of the cold.

"Cuckoo." I raised my eyes and shouted, "Cuckoo."

Cuckoo is the monster that eats the souls of children, because its eyes are black, so I call it Cuckoo.

Cuckoo hasn't come for a long time, but every time I come back, I always shout a few times out of habit.

I know it won't come again, but I feel a little uncomfortable in my heart-I put it down to not getting used to it.

I didn't know that this kind of suffering was called loneliness.

I just miss the tenderness that Cuckoo inadvertently showed when he told me its story.

Although it's not for me, it also makes me feel so warm.It was as if the sun that appeared once in a while in winter had all shone on his body.

Slowly went to bed, lying on it, a little flustered, I rubbed my sore eyes, turned over, it was getting dark, I can't go out... This is what the aunt in the orphanage said .

When it gets dark, I have to go back to the dormitory and have a good rest so that I can get up early the next day to see the beautiful sunrise in the east.

I don't have a dormitory to go back to because those kids hate me.

I don't know why, but suddenly I can't fall asleep.

I slowly sat up from the plank bed, with my head down, and a hot water bottle in my arms.

"Maybe that child loves you very much." I heard my voice, very small, "I think he loves you, coo."

"When I grow up, I will definitely prove it to you." I said slowly, "I think there is still love in this world."

Even though there are so many monsters formed by resentment here, I still firmly believe in the existence of that thing called "love".

--Yes.

I love every little grass here, watching them germinate in spring, grow in summer, wither in autumn and sleep in winter, I love every inch of sky here, watching it rise in the morning, rise to the sun at noon, and the sun is blazing at noon, until the dusk sinks in the evening——

I don't know why I can feel so much beauty in this sad world.

"only……"

I lowered my head slightly.It was completely dark, and I couldn't see any light in the small dark house, "Those three children who were eaten..."

Disappeared.

However, it is impossible to disappear.

What they were eaten was only their souls, but even their bodies disappeared.

Goo Goo didn't eat their bodies.

I thought for a long time on that little plank bed, with my underdeveloped little brain.

But I don't know what happened.

"No one will disappear anymore." I said to myself, "Gugu has already left, but if Gugu hasn't left, I can ask her..."

Cuckoo was driven away by me.

After it ate the soul of the third child.

On that evening full of loneliness and setting sun, the bloody sunset glow dyed the western sky a bright red, I hugged the hot water bottle it stole for me, looked at it with open eyes and said, "Goo, you leave Is it okay here?"

It was silent there for a long, long time.

At that time, I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't understand what that feeling was, but I knew that the things Gu Gu did were not good.

It said only one word as it left.

"Don't trust anyone here."

Good advice, but I didn't listen.

So I fell bloody.

The author has something to say: start recalling PLAY

No comments, tired or not love TAT

☆、Kitano X writing