north wind blows south

Mu Liang has always believed that memory has a self-protection mechanism.Just like in his memory, since his mother passed away, his father rarely appeared, as if Mu Jinguo was absent from his entire childhood.

Memorizing this kind of thing is amazing, at least he thinks so.After losing the memory of his father, he can't say whether he loves or hates Mu Jinguo. It's like a thorn in his heart. It doesn't hurt, but he always feels uncomfortable.

Just like now, even though Mu Jinguo fell into a coma and needed supplemental oxygen, and should have lost a lot of weight, Mu Liang felt nothing at all.

The sound of ECG monitoring was really annoying, and Mu Liang rolled his eyes.After arriving last night, He Shen also slept in the small room of the special ward. Although it was a high-end private hospital, the accompanying bed was not as comfortable as imagined.

Watching a comatose person is definitely the most boring thing in the world.

The current wife of Shen Ye and Mu Jinguo was called away by the doctor. Originally, she meant that Shen didn't have to go, and Mu Liang would just follow, but someone really didn't want to go. His physical condition caused his head to buzz.

It stands to reason that smoking is not allowed anywhere in the hospital, but the addiction to smoking has increased, and the rules are a piece of waste paper for Mu Liang.

I always feel like a stone is stuffed in my heart, and there is a heavy feeling, but I can't say what the specific emotion is.

The "click" of the lighter sounded like the last snap of hypnotic fingers, as if everything had become quiet.Mu Liang was the only one in the entire safe passage. He leaned against the wall and watched the tide outside.

He was a little tired, but he didn't know why he was tired.

This is a feeling of physical and mental exhaustion, as if I slept all night and didn't get up at night, but when I wake up during the day, I don't feel sober and refreshed, but like running a marathon all night.

In the past, about two or three years ago, the company where Mu Liang worked was in the most critical period, and the pressure was so great that he needed a large dose of sleeping pills when he fell asleep, and a high concentration of sleeping pills when he had to stay awake. refreshing drink.

The inhuman life lasted for three months, and at the end of the night, Mu Liang fell ill.

It was so serious that I spent almost a month lying in the special-needs ward, handing over non-essential work to others, and letting the assistant take the necessary work to the hospital.

Those three months were like a nightmare.Every hour, every minute, every second of the day, Mu Liang felt so tired, as if he was about to fall to the ground in the next second.

Now, he felt that way again.

It's just that, unlike at that time, he is much more free now - he can sleep when he is tired, and he doesn't have to work when he wakes up.

It's just that troubles are always around him like annoying flies, and he can't be driven away.

In addition to his quick response, his hearing is also very good. Before Shen Ye opened the door of the safe passage, Mu Liang accurately extinguished the cigarette butt, then hid the cigarette butt in the crack of the window sill, and then opened the window to the maximum, hoping that the smell of smoke could be absorbed. Jump out quickly, just like his troubles.

It's a pity that the windows of the hospital can only be opened half a palm wide, and the smell of smoke cannot escape at the speed Mu Liang expected.

As a result, the moment Shen Ye smelled the smoke, the corners of Shen Ye's mouth collapsed very quickly, like a face changing in a Sichuan opera.

As soon as Shen Ye frowned, Mu Liang's heart frowned along with him.

"Smoking again?" Shen Ye asked.

Every time, like an adult, when a child expressed dissatisfaction with Mu Liang's long-standing living habits, he wanted to laugh.It's not that it's ridiculous, it's just that the person in front of him is really cute.

The corner of his mouth rose uncontrollably, and Mu Liang held Shen Ye's hand, a little embarrassed.

"Are you worried about uncle?" When Shen Ye talked to Mu Liang, most of them seemed to be asking a child.

This is what Mu Liang likes about him.It's not that I like his tone, but that Shen always regards him as a very simple person.In the eyes of the children, his lover is a very kind person.

Are you kind?Is it a nice guy?This problem has troubled Mu Liang for many years.

How should I put it, Mu Liang always felt that he was selfish.Because of his family environment and growth environment, he always wants to put his own interests first, or protect himself first, and then think about others.

The former him, or the one before he met Shen Ye, was actively suppressed.Because I know that once the desire bursts out, it is difficult to take it back.

He is like a mass of ashes with sparks, but only needs a little flame to burn forever.

Shen is that little flame.

"Are you worried about Uncle?" Mu Liang couldn't answer Shen Ye honestly to this overly kind question. He could only drag his tired body, hug him, and put most of his body weight on Shen Ye. body.

A teenager is still a teenager, no matter how mature he may be for his age.

Just like now, the tired Mu Liang was embraced by Shen Ye, and all the muscles in his body relaxed instinctively.He buried his nose in the neck of his boyfriend wantonly, so that the whole nasal cavity was filled with his smell.

Obviously they all use the same laundry detergent, and Shen also has no habit of using perfume, but he always has a very fragrant and very fragrant smell on his body.It is not a pungent flavor, but a milky flavor, an obsessive sweetness.

Mu Liang wrapped his arms around Shen Ye and pushed him closer to him.

"Mu Liang." Shen Ye said.It is rare that the child actually called his name.

"What's wrong?" Mu Liang's voice was muffled.

Shen didn't continue talking, he just kept silent, and kept silent.It seems like there are so many things I want to say, but I don't know where to start.Obviously, before opening the door, he had already finished the draft, but when he came in and saw Mu Liang's face, he didn't know what to say.

Sure enough, it is impossible to say those dishonest words to the one you love.

In fact, Mu Liang had guessed more than half of it in his heart.Shen is also a person who can't hide, at least he can't lie to himself.In the half hour just now, he accompanied Mu Liang's stepmother to find Mu Jinguo's attending doctor. In this case, it was obvious that the child couldn't say anything.

Like coaxing a child, Mu Liang patted Shen Ye's back, once and for all, to slow down the child's crazily beating heart due to nervousness.

"Uncle..." However, he still hesitated in his words, "The doctor said that uncle has advanced cancer, bowel cancer."

He is obviously Mu Jinguo's father, and he has no relationship with Shen Ye, but based on the real emotion brought about by the word "Love House and Wu", the child holding Mu Liang seems to be sobbing.

Instinctive, not an instruction from his own brain, but Mu Liang still patted Shen Ye on the back like coaxing a child.

However, it was clear that his own mind was blank.In any case, even if Mu Jinguo, as a father, has done a lot of wrong things to him, at least Mu Liang thinks so, but in the final analysis, Mu Liang's body is bleeding from him.

He just couldn't fully accept that at the age of 28, he would lose his father.

He was going to be an orphan.

Mu Liang felt that his originally relaxed muscles became tense again.The weight on his body also became a burden for him, and he felt that his back hurt so much.

Of course, without intention and without any emotion, Mu Liang pushed Shen Ye away.Without even realizing it, his voice was choked.

He said, "I... I'm going to smoke a cigarette." After that, he turned around and began to walk down the steps of the safe passage.

Shen Ye stood where he was, looking at Mu Liang's back, his eyes filled with tears that were about to fall.

In fact, he just wanted to sort out his mood, not only about Mu Jinguo, but also about his relationship with Shen Ye.He fell in love for the first time, and he didn't know that it was like this when a relationship reached a precarious stage. Without any warnings or warnings, or even anything unusual happened, they entered a period of burnout.

Still in love, Mu Liang can be sure of this, but he is a little tired, or to be honest, he is very tired.

Now he doesn't know how to face Mu Jinguo, let alone how to face Shen Ye.

I especially remember that before her mother passed away, her physical condition was already very poor. She was lying in bed and couldn't get up, nor could she eat anything. She barely supported her body with a bag of nutrient solution worth 1000 yuan.

At that time, she also had a very bad temper. Once she changed from her usual gentleness, she often couldn't understand a little bit of things, and she was about to lose her temper with Mu Jinguo and Mu Liang, and she also left several nurses in anger.

It was not until the last day of her life that God was willing to return Mu Liang's mother to him.

Mu Liang is a boarding student, so he doesn't go home for non-essential things.He was in class that day, and the head teacher called him out to answer a phone call from his mother.

There was nothing important in the phone call, the mother just said that she felt better, and she was lying on the bed to knit a sweater for Mu Liang, telling him not to worry at school, and to study hard and improve every day.

It was a critical time in high school, and Mu Liang didn't think too much about it, just agreed with a few words, and hung up the phone hastily.

He just didn't expect that this was the last time he heard his mother's voice.

His mother's death hit him so hard that he didn't want to go home even after a long time.Later, Mu Jinguo remarried, and they moved out of their original home.The memories of his mother's death seemed to be sealed in the house that hadn't been opened for a long time, and Mu Liang didn't have the courage to face it again.

Now, reality was like a thunderbolt, slamming him awake, making him open his eyes to the facts before him.

This is what he has to face.