exactly

The city of London at night is very charming. The city lights are reflected in the dark night sky, alternating with the deep black clouds and mist. The mountains are full of dreamy purple, mysterious blue, and passionate orange. It's a pity that the sky is not beautiful, and there is no star in the sky. , After nightfall, it began to rain sporadically and sporadically. Xi Ling held a glass of red wine in his hand, sipping sips, and leaned back halfway on the bay window of the bedroom, admiring the uncanny craftsmanship of nature.

Vincent is very popular and entertains a lot, so he seldom stays home at night. At first, he saw that Xi Ling was staying at home all day, so bored that he almost grew weeds. He insisted that Xi Ling go out with him to relax, but Xi Ling refused to agree. As time passed, he gave up on demanding, and couldn't bear to leave the other party to guard the empty door all night, but Xi Ling didn't mind, and when Vincent closed the door, he breathed a sigh of relief and became peaceful and at ease.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, forming streams of water on the transparent windows, and then slowly flowing down the clear and clean glass, like tears in the eyes of a lover, bubbling and flowing, every drop expressing the sorrow in the heart.Whenever there is heavy rain, Xi Ling will inevitably think of the past, his deceased father, and all the childish and ridiculous things he has done, and his heart will ache.

Unfortunately, there is no regret medicine in this world.

"If you want to become an abnormal man, you have to like men. I can barely accept that." At that time, my father pointed his trembling index finger at the tip of his nose, his face flushed with anger.

"But you are not only dissatisfied, but you also said that you want to give up the law and learn some unreliable archaeology. I see you, I see you just want to piss me off!" Covering his chest, he coughed violently.

Xi Ling hurriedly stepped forward and stroked his back with his hands, but was thrown away by the latter. Father Xi finally stopped coughing, his face engraved with vicissitudes became more and more red, and his round eyes were full of deep red He let out a long breath, and Xu Heng said angrily, "Get out, cough cough, get out...you go be your homosexual, learn some inexplicable archaeology, cough cough cough... ...you go, I don't have a son like you!"

"I don't have a son like you!" These were the last words my father said to him before his death.

At that time, Xi Ling's heart sank, he didn't look at his father again, and left without looking back. He hastily packed his luggage, rushed to the airport and bought a ticket to fly back to the UK temporarily, and not long after returning to school, he followed up with a few The classmate went on an expedition together, and disappeared for a few weeks. When he turned on his phone again to check the information, what he received was the news of his father's sudden death...

His father lost all his wealth and life because of an investment failure. Just before his death, all the shareholders surrounded him, all angry and bossy, demanding that he give an explanation to the whole company. The heart has always been bad, and he couldn't bear this intense scene for a while, his eyes went dark, and he fainted on the conference table on the spot. When he was sent to the hospital, it was too late for emergency treatment...

Xi Ling, who was far away in London, received the news and rushed back to China without stopping, but his father had already been buried. That day, he knelt in front of his father's tombstone for a whole night, and that night was the same as this time. Big raindrops, Xi Ling didn't hold an umbrella, his body was soon drenched by the rain, but he ignored it, the bone-eating grief made him forget the cold, he knelt there, non-stop Kowtow to confess: "Dad, I'm sorry, Dad, I will not indulge in archaeology anymore, I promise, I will definitely study law hard, and I will never like men again, I..." He originally wanted to say that I would marry a wife and have children, Living a normal life, but a few simple promises were stuck in his throat, and finally he bit his lower lip hard, and changed his words, "I swear, I will never change Become a homosexual that you hate, and I will never be with him. From now on, I will only live alone, and live this life alone..."

It wasn't until Xi Fu came to the cemetery that the brother who had almost fainted was taken home. Xi Ling lay on the bed and fell into a coma for three days.

After waking up, his head was as heavy as being embedded in a piece of iron tongs. The oath he made that night was like a brand, deeply engraved in his mind, but when he returned to England again, he still couldn't suppress it. Living up to his inner desire, he continued to study history while studying law. He knew that he had lost half of his promise, and the other half, he should stick to it no matter what.

Xi Ling grew up with her elder sister since she was young. Xi Fu has a bright and cheerful personality. In elementary school, he met all kinds of girls in school, and he realized that not all girls are as careless as his sister. On the contrary, women with a personality like his sister are really different, but when he finally recognized this After the fact, he can no longer get close to any delicate little girl. Almost all the boys in the class have a crush on the girl, and because of his outstanding appearance, he is always liked by others. The girls who pursue her are fat, Yanshou , in various poses and with different expressions, but he was not interested in any of them.

He thought that he was born lacking the instinct to love, that he had no interest in girls, and that he had no affection for the boys around him, until that sunny noon, when that golden figure broke into his eyes unsuspectingly...

Why do you like that person?He didn't understand it himself, it was probably like the very dreamy line said: the sun was just right that day, and he happened to be wearing a white shirt - this was the first impression Chang Qin left on him when we first met, who I knew that I just glanced over it so casually at that time, but I never expected that after I pulled away and left, I would never forget it.

After living for 20 years, it was the first time that Xi Ling realized what it means to be heartbroken.

Unfortunately, it was not a pleasant encounter.

At that time, Chang Qin was sitting on a bench by the garden, his brows were tightly furrowed, his lips were slightly pursed, and his face was filled with impatience and anxiety. At that time, he had just gotten rid of an annoying matter...

Xi Ling sniffled, and pulled himself back from the memory. This first meeting was so heart-wrenching that when he met Chang Qin again, he couldn't associate this person with Wen Runruyu.He told himself over and over in his heart that as long as he sticks to the bottom line, everyone can be relaxed and happy, and Chang Qin doesn't have to repeat his mistakes, breaking with his parents in terms of sexual orientation. He has tasted and suffered such heartbreaking, It was enough, and there was really no need to drag a good young man into the water who was still too late to save.

Chang Qin gently put down the note in his hand, and cut the steak into pieces as if nothing had happened. After cutting, he picked up a small piece with a fork, put it in his mouth and chewed slowly, but his eyes stayed on the delicate steak. On the ramisu cake, he stared intently for a long, long time... After that, he picked up a spoon, tasted the cake carefully, occasionally raised his glass, and sipped the red wine gracefully. The small cake was very delicious. He was almost finished eating, so he turned his head and looked out of the window, only to find that it was raining again at some point.

London is always attached to raindrops, and the lyrics are true.Chang Qin smiled helplessly. He had been here for two days, but God was stingy and didn't even give him a good face for a second.

After eating and drinking, he took out his cell phone and sent a text message.

Vincent didn't come back until midnight when he was crazy. When he passed Xiling's bedroom, he unexpectedly found that the light was on in the room. He was resting on his bent knees, his face was slightly drunk, his eyes were blurred, his lips were slightly pink, and he looked like he had drunk a lot.

He sighed, stepped forward, took the cup from the other party's hand, and said worryingly: "You always use alcohol to drown your sorrows, and you will easily fall into depression."

Xi Ling raised his head and smiled briskly: "I'm not so fragile." Then he turned his eyes away, looked out of the rainy and foggy window again, and muttered in a low voice, "I just thought of my father."

Vincent was silent for a while, walked to the other side of the bay window, knelt on the cushion with one foot, and sat down with the whole person. In this unrestrained posture, he cleared his throat, looked at Xi Ling's clear side face, and slowly Huan said, "There is one thing that I never told anyone."

Xi Ling turned back again, looking at him with great interest.

Vincent lowered his head in embarrassment, repeated words in his heart, and finally said: "When I was in high school, I had a crush on my teacher."

Xi Ling raised his eyebrows, his face full of disbelief.

Vincent smiled, gave a noncommittal hum, and then said: "She is a graduate student from a nearby school. She works as a part-time student on weekdays. She comes to our school as an assistant teacher in the art class. She is very good at drawing. It doesn't take half an hour for a close-up sketch to be completed. She is vivid on paper, she is the first Chinese girl I met in London besides my mother since I was a child, maybe I like my father like Chinese girls with black hair and black eyes, so I just I will fall in love with her at first sight. She is very beautiful, with fair skin, clear eyes, long and soft hair. Every time I walk by her, I can smell the light perfume on her body. At that time, I am looking forward to the art class every day, looking forward to hearing her sweet voice, and looking forward to her teaching us how to draw.

Later, I found out about her birthday through various means. When it was her birthday, I bought a platinum necklace with a silver cross on it with the money I earned from working in my grandfather’s restaurant during the holidays. Changed it to this stud earring. "Vincent pointed to one of his earlobe, "I secretly put the gift on her desk and left without leaving a name. I don't know how she knew that the gift was from me. During the art class, She quietly called me out and returned the gift box to me. She didn't ask me why I gave her the gift, but just thanked me and told me not to spend money indiscriminately in the future. At that time, I felt very uncomfortable , Without thinking about it, I blurted out my love to her, I stared blankly at her, and said to her, teacher, I like you.

At that time, although I was only in the first year of high school, I was already 1.8 meters tall. She stood in front of me and needed to look up to see me carefully. She examined me for a long time with those charming big eyes and heard my voice The confession was not surprising, I couldn't even see any expression on my face, I was a little disappointed, so I just looked back at her with a desperate look, and when I was almost intoxicated in her clear pupils, she spoke slowly, her voice was Sweet as always: 'You are young now, I will answer you when you grow up. 'After speaking, she turned around and went back to the classroom without waiting for any response from me.

Not long after, she graduated and returned to China. The night before she left, I ran back to school and found that the lights in the office were on. Her cheerful silhouette was reflected on the glass window, leaning over and busy. I breathed a sigh of relief. Pushing the door and walking over, I hugged her into my arms without saying a word. I promised her over and over again that when I graduated, I would go back to China to find her. I begged her to wait for me, and when I grew up, I would definitely promise her Promise, she turned around, looked at me gently for a long time, then showed a charming smile, tiptoed and kissed my cheek, then whispered in my ear, she can give me, only these.

That was the first time I was kissed by a girl, and I will never forget that kiss in my life, so soft, so sweet, with her unique fragrance, this is the most intoxicating kiss I have ever experienced since I grew up, except ..." Vincent paused suddenly, and looked at Xi Ling with deep meaning, but the latter didn't notice the dark tide in his eyes, and still listened with his head bowed. Vincent sighed softly, and continued, "After she returns to China, we will I lost contact, but my father learned that I had an affair with the art teacher at the school through some means, so he dragged me home from school that day, regardless of my delicate skin and tender flesh, and picked me up. A thick | long stick was thrown at me. He felt that I was immoral, and I fell in love with a woman who was nine years older than himself. He was so angry that he planned to transfer me to another school the next day. The news confirmed that the teacher had resigned and returned to China, so he was relieved and let me go back to school to continue my studies. However, he refused to let go of my request to return to China. There is no way to return to your own country. "

Vincent laughed lightly, and continued: "When my father hit me, I didn't say a word, nor did I defend myself. I don't know if I was more sad because of the sudden departure of the teacher, or because my father couldn't understand my feelings. It’s a little more sad, but one thing is for sure. Since that incident, I rarely communicate with my father. I hardly stay at home during the holidays. I either go out to play basketball with my friends or travel with a group of people. After I went to college, I became more and more outrageous. I tried clubbing, one-night stands, and taking drugs. I was even proud of it. , so there is no way to vent any complaints, the pocket money is still generous, and I obeyed my father's will to take business administration, he was impeccable for me, but the communication between me and my father became less and less, he was busy. His business, I'm busy with my studies, the most exaggerated time, the words we father and son said for a whole year didn't add up to ten sentences."

Vincent took a deep breath, turned to look out of the window, and said to himself: "Once upon a time, the communication between children and their parents was as rare as panning for gold in sand. I don't know what I hate about my father. He ruined it." My first love? In fact, this matter has nothing to do with him. After all, the teacher rejected me first, and my father reprimanded me later, but why do I hate him so much? Maybe when I was young, I would have a strong rebellious psychology It seems that if you don’t do a few outrageous things, you call yourself a man in vain, but Xi Ling, since I heard what you said yesterday, I have thought about it for a long time, and I suddenly felt that if I was really with the teacher at that time , if my father dies because of this, maybe, I will not be able to forgive myself in this life."

Xi Ling squeezed her fingers hard, lowered her head and smiled unnaturally, but heard Vincent continue: "However, I still hope that you can pursue your own love. In the world, you can meet someone who loves you and loves yourself at the same time." It is as difficult as reaching heaven, that Chang Qin, I think he has affection and righteousness for you, I guess he must like you very much, so he ran to England desperately to ask you to go back with him, if you just let go , Looking back on it later, will you really not regret it? Your father’s sudden death has become a fact, no matter how much effort you put in, it cannot be undone, but Chang Qin is still standing in front of you alive, if you don’t cherish it, wait until he is completely It's really too late to turn around and leave.

After quietly listening to Vincent's persuasion, Xi Ling pondered for a long time before suddenly saying in a low voice, "It's too late..."

"What?" Vincent opened his eyes in confusion.

Just 10 minutes before Vincent arrived home, Xi Ling received a message from Chang Qin: I agree to all of Lawyer Xi's requests, and please trouble Lawyer Xi, stop trying to follow me. PS: Thank you for the birthday cake.

"It's nothing." Xi Ling blinked, put away his lost emotions, and then he jumped down from the bay window, calling Vincent to leave, "You go take a shower, I'm going to sleep."

The next day, Chang Qin packed his luggage and boarded the plane back to China. During the eight-hour journey, he found nothing except that he was more physically and mentally exhausted than when he arrived.

It's not that he got nothing, he laughed at himself, at least, he also got a tiramisu cake.

When he arrived at the airport, it was [-]:[-] p.m. Beijing time. While waiting for his luggage beside the carousel, he changed back to his original mobile phone number. As soon as he turned on the phone, hundreds of text messages popped up one after another. He glanced roughly and found that Half of it was work, and the other half was to wish him a happy birthday. He swiped through several text messages in a row, and found Xi Fu's text message.

Xi Fu: I will pick you up at the airport tomorrow.

Chang Qin was wondering when Xi Fu became so caring, the phone vibrated immediately, and the two big characters "Xi Fu" were written on the display.Chang Qin was slightly taken aback, and hurriedly picked it up. Xi Fu asked him if he had left the airport, and he was right outside the airport gate.

Chang Qin dragged his luggage and came to the place where he had made an appointment with Xi Fu. He saw a familiar white private car parked on the side of the road, waiting for him in a double jump. Chang Qin ran over in two or three steps and put the luggage in the car. In the trunk, he opened the door on the side of the passenger seat and bent down to sit in the car. Xi Fu on the side smiled gently at him, and saw that the other party was as dignified and elegant as always, with exquisite makeup on his face, and his agile eyes were rarely bent so beautifully. Chang Qin was overwhelmed by the radian, and smiled at her, and opened his mouth to ask, "Sister Xi, why are you here?"

At this time, the traffic police came to urge Xi Fu to drive away quickly. Xi Fu temporarily put aside Chang Qin's problem, stepped on the accelerator, and drove the car out of this annoying traffic artery. The dazed Chang Qin was almost intoxicated by the soothing smell, only to hear Xi Fu calmly reply: "It was my younger brother who was worried that you would not be able to get a taxi when you left the airport, so he specially entrusted me to pick you up."

The author has something to say:

The first meeting between Xi Ling and Chang Qin is not a bug, it will be explained in the next chapter ╮(╯▽╰)╭

ps: At that time, I liked you not because you had a house and a car, but because, that afternoon, the sun was shining and you were wearing a white shirt. ——This sentence was said by my favorite actor Wu Xiubo Bosu!

There is another sentence I also like very much: You like this place, it has nothing to do with loneliness, it’s just that it’s raining again and I just want to be alone quietly, listening to an unknown song, thinking about your beautiful face.