I can't run away after agreeing to fall in love

I am more precocious than other children. This is the compliment I have heard since I was a child. When others praise me like this, I will show my most kind smile. I think I should be happy, but I don’t even " I don't know what the word "premature" means.The only thing I know is that I only have grandpa and no parents, not that I don't have them, but that I rarely see them.

Grandpa said that as long as I am a good father, my father will pick me up. I still remember that time when I was still a little kid. After finishing my daily homework, I wanted to learn violin, piano, fencing... All these filled my life, but I didn’t know tired.

Fortunately, it will all pay off and I can go home.

But there are two more outsiders in my family.

When I went to my father's house, I saw my tall brother. That was the first time I called him brother. After I knew that it was his mother who took my father away, I never called him that again.That day he took the initiative to extend an olive branch to me and asked me if I would like to go out with him, and I accepted his kindness.

According to him, this is his school, and there happened to be a cultural performance today. Compared with Tang Aichu himself, I am more interested in this.When we arrived, the performance seemed to have started early. I followed him to the frontmost position. The host said that the next program would be a poetry reading.

I remember that day very vividly. He was wearing a white shirt, knee-length black shorts, and white socks tied to his calves. He walked slowly to the center of the stage. I think it might be because he was so good-looking. , made the microphone start whimpering, and I could whimper too if I could.

The venue was noisy for a while, and his gaze was cast on us. I almost swallowed nervously, only to realize that he was not looking at me at all.

Tang Aichu told me that his name was Shen Zhitang, and he was still a classmate of his, and even took me backstage to see him.

When he saw Tang Aichu appearing, his eyes seemed to be radiant, just like the little gold leaf scattered on the stage just now, he ran to Tang Aichu panting, and said with a smile: "I thought you wouldn't come, you were so scared to death just now I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'll forget the words."

"Such a short poem, if you memorize it after class and after dinner, you are just worrying!"

"You know, I don't like to show off, on stage..."

I saw that his face was a little red, and following his gaze, I saw bouquets of flowers, and then I heard him mutter, "I'm a little embarrassed, they... are too enthusiastic."

They continued to chat until he looked at me before asking Tang Aichu who I was. Tang Aichu told him that I was his younger brother as a matter of routine, and then he saw his face froze for a moment, and he looked at me with a bad look , although it was only for a moment, but I also noticed it.

I was not able to be the topic of their conversation, and I was not able to participate in it successfully. Somewhat frustrated, the excuse I made to myself was that I was too young to participate in their chat.

I think I probably want to possess him, and what I want to possess is everything Tang Aichu owns. I only realized this matter later, and I am not indebted for it.

I even went to my father's house often in retaliation, and even hoped that he would visit me. Anyway, my life was half of his life, but I didn't. I understand that no matter how good I do, I can't compare with Tang Aichu. From then on, I stopped going there and unilaterally severed contact with him.At that time, I also knew that my mother died not because of dystocia, but because she cheated, went to another man, and even just gave birth to a little guy I should call my brother.

To be precise, I have no parents now, but I don't feel uncomfortable because I have a new focus, his name is Shen Shitang.

I also noticed my precocity, for example, I can clearly know that something seems wrong with me, that feeling is very erratic, but I just want to see him.If he finds out, he will definitely think that I am a little pervert, with a pair of eyes that stay on him all the time.

That day I went to look for him on a routine basis, but I saw him talking and laughing with a girl. I looked up, and it seemed that boys and girls were walking together. I began to doubt myself.But it is undeniable that his attraction to me is like an invisible net, enveloping me, I understand that I don't just want to possess him out of jealousy, but another emotion, another An emotion I'm not familiar with.

It may seem offensive to me to say this, but I do feel a kind of gentle power almost like motherhood in him, compassion, pity for all things, and extremely powerful.

He affects my irritability that is exclusive to summer.

During the period when I doubted myself, he disappeared, and soon Tang Aichu also went abroad, and I was the only one left at home.

After he left, I dared to go to his school blatantly, and there were blackboard newspapers written by him, in regular script, and I could imagine him holding the book in his hand and transcribing word by word. This is his own Composition, he said he wanted to go to the beach.

I know that Shen Shitang went to Qinye, and then I know that he went to Jiangbei University as the provincial champion.

I knew that I couldn't go abroad anymore, so I also put the label of Jiangbei University on my bedside and made him my volunteer.I was also laughed at by my friends, saying that I thought about such a long way from a young boy, but I didn't think so, I wanted to be with him.

But planning takes a long time, and giving up seems to be just a moment.

I was preparing for a competition when I realized that I hadn't fed my rabbit for almost a week because he had sneaked out to play.

I almost frantically ran back to my room and stuffed the vegetable leaves into its cage. The little rabbit was dying, and I went to the veterinarian to save it. Since then, it has never been close to me, and I feel very sad Feeling helpless, I just gave the little rabbit to Chen.

I knew I was sick, but my worst fears still happened.

I have gone abroad.

I thought I would stay outside for the rest of my life, but in the end my grandfather called me back and told me to think about developing in China. After all, Tang Aichu is abroad, and as long as there is intersection between us, there will be conflicts.

I know that he has been staying in Jiangbei, but at the same time, I want to see him more and more occupy my whole thoughts, but I thought of the fate of that rabbit, so I still left Jiangbei to go to another place study in a city.

I worked very hard, I didn't check any news about him, I just agreed in my heart that he would leave Jiangbei one day. After all, his wish was to go to a city by the sea, so I returned to Jiangbei with this expectation, and suddenly felt, Without him, Jiang Da seems to be less attractive to me, at least not as attractive as when he was there.

What I didn't expect was that I could still see him. He has become very mature, and he showed a sense of alienation in both actions and words. I accepted it calmly. After all, I was just a stranger to him. Accept the fact that he didn't leave.It was just a small accident, but he was determined to compensate me, so I had no choice but to accept it, and secretly swore in my heart that as long as this incident was over, I would have nothing to do with him.

Then, I slept with him.

It sounds absurd, but it's true, and I'm still his first man, his beauty is from the inside out and deep into the bone marrow, I'm addicted to it, I can't extricate myself, I think this is called addiction.

I couldn't hold back, this was a last stand for me, such a despicable means in exchange for his compromise.

……

Then we were together, although there were many twists and turns in the middle, but in the end we were still together.We live together, he wants a quiet life without being disturbed, we share the same bed, the same quilt, he will put his hand on my stomach, and I will kiss his forehead.

Everything is dreamlike and real.

There are roses he picked in the white porcelain vase on the bedside table. I don't know what magic power he has to make this bouquet of flowers look as fresh as they were just picked.

I think I brought him down, he is now a little expert in bed, and when he is not at work, he seems to have a life-seeking and vigorous love with the bed.

For example now.

The sun came in through the curtains and fell on his face. I was afraid of waking him up, so I had to use my hands to block the ray of sunlight that wanted to kiss him. His eyelashes trembled like a butterfly that was staying. Its wings, and whirring, grabbed the corner of my pajamas with its hands.

I'm thinking about what breakfast to make today so that he can get up by himself because of the smell, otherwise I can't bear his acting like a baby, so I can only let him continue to build a nest on the bed.

Surrounded by flying dust, in front of me is my little Eros, with a gentle light all over him, he is tenderness itself, he is love itself.

I think I will always love him, or I have made a lifelong plan and a death consciousness before loving him.

We were once lovers, then lovers, and now family.

I think I will love him and will love him till I die.

This is my life's belief and mission.

Kiss on.