South of Chutian

Li Yuechi suddenly opened his eyes wide.

"Do you think I don't know, Tang Heng?" The woman's voice was sobbing, sharp and mournful, "You can fool others, but you can't fool me! Why don't you go abroad? Why don't you go abroad? !"

"Isn't this just what you want!" It was Tang Heng's voice, very irritated, "If you don't want me to go abroad, I won't, is that okay?"

"You are not for me at all!"

"I--"

"You are just for him, right? You have worked so hard to prepare for four years, and you finally got the reward, you don't want it! Do you remember how many times you quarreled with me about this before? Your reason is not to compare others Is everything sufficient? You said you wanted to do academic work, you said foreign research is more cutting-edge, you said these words, Tang Heng? I never asked you, but I know... When you were young, did your dad often Tell you, when you grow up, you will do scientific research?"

Tang Heng was silent for a while, as if he wanted to comfort her: "Mom, people's ideas will always change... I am staying in China now, you can see me anytime you want, isn't it good? And look, I signed That company is very reliable, and I also like singing, isn't this... the best of both worlds."

"I'd rather you go out, Tang Heng," Fu Liling said painfully, "How can you... because of a...a man...I'd rather you go abroad to study."

Tang Heng stopped talking, staring at the shiny glass shards on the floor.

"Before you made up your mind to go abroad, I had no choice but to convince myself that it is a good thing that you have grown up and you have your ideals - no matter how much I hate you and worry about you, I shouldn't stop you from pursuing your ideals. But Now, if you don’t want to go, you don’t go, you don’t even pay the reservation fee, you really don’t leave any room for yourself! Tang Heng, you gave up your own ideals just for a relationship? You used to What are the words you told me?!"

"This is my life," Tang Heng dared not look her in the eyes, "I can be responsible for the choices I make."

"You are responsible for shit!" Fu Liling cursed unexpectedly, "You are only 21 years old, what do you know about being responsible? Do you know what the price is behind your doing these things? Let me tell you, Tang Heng—— There are some things you can’t take responsibility for at all, you just have to pay the price.”

"Mom," Tang Heng said with his head lowered, "I love him very much."

"He's a man—"

"I just love him."

"Love, Tang Heng, can love be eaten?" Fu Liling covered her eyes, tears leaked from between her fingers, "Besides you love him so much, what about him, how much does he love you?"

"He loves me too."

"You said he loved you, and then he admitted in front of everyone that he was with a girl?"

Tang Heng's face changed suddenly: "How do you know?"

"How do I know—I already knew about your relationship! You were together when he came to borrow books that night, right? He didn't come here to borrow books, did he? I'm your mother, and I can Can't see it? Not only I know it, your uncle knows it, we all know it! You said he loves you, has he considered your feelings? Does he dare to admit your relationship? What does he think of you? "

Tang Heng said hastily: "That time he was just helping! That girl has been harassed by a brother for a long time, he just helped to cover up!"

"Harassment? Then why didn't he come to you directly and ask you to go to your uncle. It's okay for him to go to your uncle to talk about it himself, and your uncle won't ignore it! He just wants to pretend to be a couple with that girl? There is no other way? Tang Heng—is he covering for that girl, or is he not daring to admit your relationship at all, and asked the girl to cover for him?"

Tang Heng was speechless for a moment.He suddenly remembered that day at Fuchunxuan's dinner table, when Xu Rong said that Li Yuechi and Tian Xiaoqin were together, everyone boisterously.Did the uncle already know about his relationship with Li Yuechi?Does Xu Rong know?Do other students know?That's right, Li Yuechi's roommate had known for a long time that Li Yuechi was in a relationship. Even if others heard about it, they would understand that the fact that Li Yuechi and Tian Xiaoqin were "together" was purely a lie.

So when he left the meeting that day, what were they thinking?

All kinds of memories suddenly flooded into his mind, together with thoughts that he thought he had relieved or forgotten.It’s this feeling again, the brain seems to be torn apart, half of it says don’t think about it anymore, and half of it says that you know that these thoughts are all right...

"Mom," Tang Heng took a deep breath, "Let's calm down a bit before talking about these issues, okay? I won't go out tonight."

"Are you running away? How long can you run away?"

"Mom—" Tang Heng almost begged, "Let's talk about it tomorrow...I'm not leaving."

When Li Yuechi walked out of the corridor of the staff apartment, the rain had stopped.The night sky in Wuhan is not as pure black as his hometown, but a reddish black color, as if covered with a layer of dirty rust.Li Yuechi walked sluggishly on the campus, perhaps because of the rain, there were very few pedestrians on the road.

It was not yet the access control time, but he didn't want to go back to the dormitory, so he walked slowly towards the rental house.Hanyang University is too big, and it is still a long way from the rental house.Li Yuechi pressed a button on the phone, the screen was pitch black, there was no response, and the phone had already been turned off.He remembered that Tang Heng had told him not to mute his phone, and that Tang Heng would charge his number if he had anything to do. Tang Heng seemed to be very afraid that they would lose contact. Whenever he called Tang Heng, Tang Heng always answered quickly. pass.

It turns out that when you want to contact someone, but you can't get in touch no matter what, is this the feeling tonight?

Thinking of the few times they had quarreled, it seemed that Tang Heng came to him first.Because of comforting Tian Xiaoqin, I missed the time when Tang Heng sang. It was Tang Heng who went back to the rental house to find him the next day; The time Tang Heng ran away suddenly at the dinner party, it was Tang Heng who returned to their rental house in the end.

He remembered that Tang Heng was sitting on the stairs of the rental house that night, as if sending himself to the door, for fear that he would give up looking because he couldn't find him.

Thinking about it this way, maybe he really was a bad lover?

Li Yuechi was tired from walking and sat on the school bench.He was surprised that he could still think about some problems calmly now.For example, what Tang Heng's mother said seems to be true - you love him so much, what about him, how much does he love you?

It feels like doing math problems in undergraduate, how to prove an equation, a proposition?If he and Tang Heng's contributions are listed on both sides of the paper, it is similar to Li Yuechi who gave up graduation and returned to Guizhou, gave up the idea of ​​"improving his hometown" when he entered the social college, and decided to go to Beijing to find Tang Heng after graduation.Correspondingly, in order to be with Li Yuechi, Tang Heng gave up his academic ideals, gave up the offer from the University of Chicago, and stayed in China to become a singer with an unknown future.

In order to fall in love with Tang Heng, Li Yuechi worked as a tutor, and paid 200 yuan less to the family every month (2000 before, 1800 after the relationship).

In order to fall in love with Li Yuechi, Tang Heng rented a house, bought furniture, paid utility bills in full in advance, and commuted between Beijing and Wuhan every week (and always bought expensive air tickets).

In order to save money and pay phone bills, Li Yuechi smokes much less than before.

In order to spend more time with Li Yuechi, Tang Heng always ate cheap canteens that he didn't like.

Li Yuechi felt that everything had a price.

Tang Heng said, I love you for free.

Li Yuechi leaned back on the chair, staring blankly at the night sky.He found that no matter how he listed and calculated, it seemed that there was no way to draw an equal sign between them.Of course, maybe he should not concretize "pay" into numbers, I add one point, you add two points-it's not calculated like this.

But if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to prove how much he loves Tang Heng.

Li Yuechi thought of the story of Bigan digging out his heart.The night sky was low and moonless.He suddenly felt that it would be great if he could also dig out the heart, and burn it for three days and three nights until it was white hot, then put it on the forging table and beat it countless times, and finally, beat it into a piece of gold. A thin, coppery moon.

Hang his heart in the sky, when Tang Heng misses him, he can see it.

Two white lights shot from a distance, and a gray Volkswagen stopped in front of Li Yuechi.Professor Tang rolled down the car window and said in surprise, "Xiao Li, why are you here?"

Li Yuechi came back to his senses: "...I'll sit here for a while."

"Hey, are you still worried about the equipment?" Professor Tang's tone was very gentle, even revealing a bit of guilt, "No one answered your phone call! I just want to tell you that Wang Lili admitted that you Before Xiaoqin and Dawu arrived, she had already shipped the equipment out."

Li Yuechi was stunned for a few seconds: "You mean... none of our business."

"That's right! I was too anxious and confused these two days," Professor Tang said sincerely, "You and Xiaoqin are both good boys! Hey, you know, the current Internet public opinion is terrible. If you say this If it gets out, it becomes 'Hanyang University corruption donation', isn't that troublesome? That's why I'm in a hurry!"

Li Yuechi stroked his sweaty hair, feeling dazed: "Then why did Wang Lili slander us?"

"She didn't expect the equipment to be a complete set, and she thought she could hide from the world. Now that she is discovered, she wants to drag you two into the water." Professor Tang smiled, "After all, you two are students, and she knows that the school will protect you. But Fortunately, she has admitted..."

The window was raised, and Professor Tang drove away.Before leaving, he said to Li Yuechi with concern: "You should continue to follow up Dawu's project, don't be burdened. You have worked hard these two days, so let's take a break first, and then return to the project team."

Li Yuechi wanted to ask if I could quit the project team, but before he could say anything, he thought about the project team's monthly salary of [-] yuan.

In the end, he didn't say anything, just nodded to Professor Tang.

That night, Li Yuechi felt extremely tired.Back at the rental house, he took a hasty shower and threw himself on the bed.A sudden accident disappeared like this, and he couldn't react a little bit, thinking that Tang Heng gave up the offer for him, but still felt heavy.

Li Yuechi fell asleep and had a lucid dream.He dreamed that summer was coming, and it was summer vacation, so he took Tang Heng back to his hometown.The temperature in the mountains is always much lower than that in the city, and the cool wind blows over Tang Heng's low ponytail.Tang Heng wore the white T-shirt with the red heart on the chest, stretched his legs, and sat by the village stream to sing.The stream water was crisp and the sun was shining brightly. He looked at Tang Heng and felt that life was really beautiful without saying anything.