stupid dirty romance

"They were originally local tenants. They grew some common crops and poppies, but the output was not much. Their family had no brothers except two sisters." Yin Yu was silent for a moment, just when Xia Jun thought he would not say anything. I spoke.

"Later, when I came back from Europe, I heard from people in the same company that their family was famous in the local area. Many people wanted to ask for marriage. Some were brothers, and some wanted to share the blessings of everyone. I'm not interested in that, but in their land."

"The person who leased the land to their family was a businessman next door to me. He had no influence. I hoped that the land would be used to grow poppies, so I went there and met their family."

The night was deep, and Yin Yu spoke very slowly and softly. Xia Jun listened quietly, and seemed to be able to outline a picture. He had seen the living conditions of the tenants here. They were poor and hard-working, which is why The reason why he prefers to grow rice.Only when a person has enough to eat and lives can he have more hope and realize more value, but there, what he sees is only hopelessness and oppression of being ruled.

To be honest, every time at this moment, he would have hatred for Yin Yu.But what he should really hate is not Yin Yu, but this vicious circle system.

"Their father is not a good person." Yin Yu paused for a while, and continued: "That is a very strange man. The first time I saw him was when I was looking at the land. They lived in a wooden house and there were leaks everywhere. The rain was leaking, the man came out with an empty wine bottle cursing, the woman was silently working in the house, and the two daughters were also silent. They were only sixteen or seventeen at that time, hiding in the corner, looking ahead, Not moving."

People with no skills are like this, they can only show their prestige to their family members, a drunkard can't work to make money outside, can't plant the land well when they go home, and can't even make their family happy, they can only blame others, like Going around like a lunatic.Women are also incompetent, silent, and can only be silent endlessly. After enduring suffering, they complain about the suffering in the world, and spread the depression to the children, so that the children can bear this suffering together.

At this time, we will find out how difficult our own survival is.

Yin Yu has never had a family, but he knows that not all homes are perfect. Some people will work hard for their families. As long as the family is together, they can overcome any difficulties. For some people, these people's homes are fragmented and full of difficulties. tedious grief.

"So you married them?" Xia Jun imagined many situations after Yin Yu kept silent, but no matter which one was put on Yin Yu, he didn't think Yin Yu was such an emotional person. This kind of thing is very common, and he doesn't care at all.

"No, I didn't, I just hated my parents and wondered what my parents would look like if they were alive."

"Have you figured it out yet?"

"No, I don't even have a picture of them, can't imagine."

There were insects chirping one after another outside, Xia Jun turned over to face Yin Yu, got closer, and hugged the man tighter and tighter, the breathing of the two soon became in sync, Yin Yu opened his eyes and looked at Xia Jun , he felt that Xia Jun was smiling at him.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked puzzled.

"I'm thinking of you." Xia Jun said, his voice is a little hoarse, this is the unique voice after the tide subsides, Yin Yu likes this kind of voice, it is soothing and makes people feel stable, as if being gently Gently stroking the general. "I was thinking about what you looked like at that time. At that time, you were younger than now. You looked so pure and innocent. Thinking of this, I just want to laugh—I want to kiss you."

After speaking, he did just that, kissed Yin Yu's forehead, and those hairs brushed the bridge of his nose, itching.

"You smell good too." Xia Jun said.Sniff Yin Yu deeply, from the hair to the side of the neck.

"You don't smell like fish at all."

Yin Yu stretched out his hand to surround Xia Jun, and his lips rested on Xia Jun's arm. He was also smelling Xia Jun's scent carefully. Human beings are also familiar with each other's scent. He is very familiar with Xia Jun, just like the same Yes, no matter how many kinds of colognes he has changed, Xia Jun can also find out the shirts he wears.

They are looking for each other by their sense of smell. This is somewhere in the dark. When you stand on top of the tower in S City, the air smells like fireworks have been set off, but you can still know that person is waiting for you standing under the tower.

There is a tacit understanding between them, fainting together, sobering together, presumptuousness together, and suppression together.

But they are not just lovers. Is the cutest person in the world really a lover? The most hateful person is a lover. If there really are enemies who are utterly sincere, then they are lovers who fight openly and secretly. This kind of love It's love on the battlefield, basically, it's not love.

Sometimes, Xia Jun feels that if one day they lose this kind of game, less ridicule and suspicion towards each other, they will no longer be them, and he will even be afraid that they will come to an end after becoming ordinary, If this is the case, then it is better to let them smell each other's blood and gunpowder smoke on the battlefield to the end.

"So, what happened later?" Xia Jun hugged Yin Yu, feeling that he really looked like a cold stone statue, and he wouldn't be surprised if he woke up the next day to find a marble statue in his arms.

"Not long after that, they were sold to a dance hall. There was a death in the family, and their father was an alcoholic. They couldn't live anymore and had nowhere to go. I took the land from the businessman, and the businessman mentioned this to me. I I remember their eyes, dark and bright, but dull, I went to that dance hall to redeem them, and asked them if they would marry me."

"that's it?"

"Yes, that's it. There is no so-called hero saving the beauty and kindness in the whole story, and there is no romance. I may have just had a whim at the time, thinking that I could create a family to fill my identity."

"It's like what you would do." Xia Jun said: "There is no redemption, I know there is no redemption in this world." You are not my redemption, we are each other's sins.

"Officer Xia," Yin Yu put his lips on Xia Jun's neck and kissed all the way, and said softly, "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid." Xia Jun smiled, touched the top of Yin Yu's head, he inserted his fingers into Yin Yu's hair, and suddenly grabbed Yin Yu's hair and pulled him towards him, "You can't lie to me anymore. But three."

OK, I won't lie to you again.

Xia Jun is really scared. He is afraid that he will be abandoned and deceived like he was when he was a teenager. Yin Yu is a plant without roots, and he is a canoe drifting in the rapids. Scared of losing him again.At such a time, they are not safe, and it is inevitable to have fear in their hearts. Whether it is life or death, it is unbearable.

"I remember when I was very young, my mother used to tell me not to be afraid." Xia Jun let go of his strength and pulled Yin Yu back into his arms. This man is not easy to hug. It's not soft enough, but Xia Jun only feels at ease if he hugs him like this.

"She told me...everything will be fine."

"Yeah, everything will be fine." It's just repeating again and again, you are wandering, and I am wandering again, a vicious circle.

"Life at that time was really difficult. I was scared every day, and I hated being threatened." Xia Jun laughed as he said, thinking that this matter was really absurd, and Yin Yu was the person who threatened him the most later.

"I always worry about too many things," he recalled while stroking Yin Yu's shoulder. Child, no hands, no feet, and then I will look at my father, and find that he and the beggar's 'father' are like brothers... I am afraid of losing my mother, I am also afraid of losing my father, I am afraid of losing the chance to live, even if It's painful to live."

"I remember that day, it was snowing heavily outside, and the neighbors upstairs were arguing, arguing fiercely, and smashing things. My family was also arguing, arguing fiercely, and someone was beaten. My mother protected me, but I felt more I'm sorry..." I can't do anything!

Under each of our sharpness, there is a coward hidden, he is sensitive, vulnerable, and fearful.

Yin Yu's eyes were always looking out of the window, looking at the thick blue layer outside, like a bucket of paint mixed with sand.His expression was the same as that of Miao and Nila back then, both staring at a place in a daze.

He listened to Xia Jun's words, there was no sadness and no joy, life was always like this, unwilling to resent, sad, sleepless.Because of the fear of suffering, I tied my feet, unable to break through the cocoon, and stagnated.

But the less you move forward, the more fear you will have, and you will live in the fear of the past forever, but when should you act and when should you start?They are afraid, they are running away, they are unwilling to get anything if they run away for the rest of their lives, and if they do not run away, they will not be able to get out.

Their feet turned into tree trunks, and their fingers turned into dead branches. They are still waiting, living in eternal fear.

"At that time, I asked my mother—Mom, what should I do?"

"It's okay, it will be fine when you grow up—grow up, wait, wait, die, I wait and wait, but you are the one who waits."

They hugged each other, tongues and teeth tangled, they became ouroboros, they became the same person, they wanted to eat each other, they wanted to cry, but they became dumb.

"Yin Yu, Yin Yu...don't leave me."

Leave me, and we will perish together in the smoke of gunpowder.

The night is still long, and so is the pain.

Incredibly long.

People suffer because they can’t get what they want, because they don’t know themselves, because they avoid pain, and because of all kinds of pain. People are suffering, but they still have to live, and there is hope to change when they live—how many people have such thoughts, and finally regret it for the rest of their lives.

Yin Yu opened his eyes and saw faces in the darkness. He bit his lower lip when Xia Jun bit him. He stared at the faces in the darkness and smiled.