Brocade tears

Meng Yan had a wish since she was a child, that she could be as strong as her elder sister, so that no matter how much sweets she ate, her mother would not stop her.As the youngest in the family, she grew up under the protection of her older brothers and sisters since she was a child, but she didn't have long contact with her parents.After she was born, her father was often away from home on missions, and her mother was not in good health and was always sick and bedridden.Auntie is taking care of everything at home, including taking care of her daily life.

The closest person in her heart is actually Sister.She was brought up by Elder Sister. As long as I can remember, it is Elder Sister who takes her every day and takes care of everything about her.The eldest brother is training and going to school outside, and the second brother is studying in the study at home all day. The adults told her not to disturb them.Because they are men, they need to train their skills now, and they will make contributions in the future.

It may be because there are many brothers and sisters in the family, and the family background is not very good, she has shown the appearance of wanting nothing since she was a child.When adults asked her what she wanted, she always shook her head, not because she was too shy to say anything, but she really didn't have anything in particular she wanted.The clothes she wears are old sister's old clothes, and the things she uses are also old sister's old things. Every year during the Chinese New Year, her father, elder brother, uncle, and cousin will bring her some small jewelry and gifts. She is very happy. Satisfied.The only thing that can't be quit is the hobby of liking sweets.The mother said that it was all because of her uncle who licked brown sugar on her full moon wine back then, which made her get out of control since then.Uncle is happy to give her sweets and cakes, but what mother fears most is that she will ruin her body.Meng Ai knew that her mother blamed herself for eating sweets on the surface, but she was actually blaming herself.She blamed herself for passing on her faults to her children, making them suffer the same suffering as she did.Elder Sister said that she once heard her mother crying to her father in the bedroom in the middle of the night, saying that she should not have had so many children, and that she was sorry for her second and youngest daughter, both of whom would suffer from illnesses for the rest of their lives because of her.

Meng Yan still wanted to eat candy, but she decided to eat it little by little in the future, and never eat too much at once.She didn't want to get sick and make her mother worry and cry.Daochang Luo said that if you don't want to get sick, you can't exercise vigorously, but you can't stay still at all, and you must exercise moderately.When she was about seven or eight years old, she began to practice exercises with Daoist Luo, every morning and evening, to exercise her muscles and bones and restrain her asthma.This exercise is effective. Meng Ai has developed very well, his body bones have been moving upwards, and the frequency of attacks has become slower and slower.

She actually has a vague memory of the changes that happened at home when she was a child, but the impact she received was so great that it was indelible for the rest of her life.I just remember that a young lady came to the house one day, and the young lady was dirty and smelly at first, and it took a lot of effort for my sister to wash her clean.The young lady stayed at home for three months, and the elder sister became very good friends with her, and I also liked the young lady very much. The young lady was not very talkative, but she always patiently played with me. My sister doesn't have the patience, because my sister is busy with too much housework every day.

Later, father and elder brother suddenly said that they would send young lady away, but elder sister was so sad that she cried out.That was the first time she saw Sister A cry, but it made her very sad, and she also cried with Sister A.Then, within a few days, she suddenly lost her parents and elder brother. It took her a long time to accept this matter, and her memory has always been vague, and she was in a daze without knowing it.I only remember that my second brother fell ill because of this incident, and my sister's smile completely disappeared.She was sent to her uncle's house for a period of time, and her aunt held her in tears all day long, repeatedly chanting "poor child" and "how is life so hard", she felt very uncomfortable, and finally began to cry.She is not a poor child, and her life is not bitter. She wants to go home to find her elder sister. She misses her elder sister and second brother.

After making a fuss, she was finally sent back home. At that time, the three coffins in the main hall of the house had been transported away for burial, but the main hall still maintained the layout of the mourning hall, with three memorial tablets placed on it.The second elder brother and the elder sister once again held her shoulders and told her solemnly that the three of them, the three of them, had lost their parents, and from now on they could only depend on each other for life.

Meng Ai thought of his father's thick chest and long prickly beard, his elder brother letting her ride on his neck to watch the fireworks, his mother's nagging and rough and gentle palms, and suddenly burst into tears. , she was so sad, why they were gone in the blink of an eye.

Later, the second brother and the elder sister planned to find out the cause of the death of the father and brother.At the same time, because of the inheritance of military status from generation to generation, someone in the family must go to the army.The second brother is weak, so the elder sister will join the army on behalf of the second brother.They agreed on it like this, and they didn't discuss it with her who was young at the time.Of course she understood the helplessness, but she still wanted to say that she did not want her siblings to make such a decision, so that the Meng family would be separated, and they would not be able to reunite for many years.

She was already sad enough when the second brother left, but when the elder sister was about to enter the military camp, that was almost the last straw that broke her down.Even if her uncle, aunt and cousin were with her, and Daoist Luo and Daoist Qingxu were beside her, none of them could replace Elder Sister's position in her heart.Sister's departure felt like the sky was falling to her.At that time, she didn't know why, maybe it was because her relatives were separated from each other again and again, and the blow was too heavy, she never wanted to let go of Sister, the only relative.This is her closest relative since she was a child, the person she can't live without, why does God even want to take sister away from her?

In the end, sister left cruelly. Meng Yan cried for a long time, feeling like she was about to cry dry.Cousin finally managed to persuade her, telling her that Sister A will be back in three months, Sister A doesn't want to see her cry every day like this, but wants to see a Xiao Ai who is working hard to live a strong life.

"Xiao Yan, you have to reassure your older brothers and sisters. They keep you here to guard their home. Only when you guard this home can they have a place to come back."

The cousin's words penetrated Meng Yan's heart thoroughly, and set the direction of Meng Yan's efforts for the next few years.She wants to keep this home well, and let her brothers and sisters feel at ease, so that they can have a home no matter when and where.

How should I guard this home?The first point is to ensure that you do not get sick, and the second is to ensure the source of income for the family.In fact, both my uncle and Daoist Luo have considered these two points.In order to ward off evil spirits and get rid of evil spirits, and at the same time leave the sad place, they moved out of the old house and moved to the gate of the school yard.At that time, Meng Yan, who was only ten years old, offered to study medicine under Luo Daochang. This was the goal and plan she had set for herself.She studied medicine, and to a certain extent, she was able to treat and control her own illness.Coupled with the fact that the second brother is weak, and the elder sister has a female companion and joined the army in men's clothing, the two of them have some illnesses, and with their own family by their side, they don't have to worry about seeing a doctor anymore.I run a pharmacy at home, so I don't have to worry about spending money to get medicines.So becoming a doctor and opening a medicine hall became Meng Yan's most sincere pursuit.The new home at the entrance of the school was quickly planned to become a pharmacy, but she was too young to operate it. Daoist Luo and Daoist Qingxu acted as agents to open the pharmacy first, and then handed over the pharmacy to her when she was on her own. She operates.And all the expenses for opening the pharmacy were paid in advance by my uncle.Uncle didn't intend to ask them to pay it back, but it was Sister who insisted on issuing an IOU, and put it in the cashier of Zhao's Grain Company.

After her sister left, Meng Yan began her ordinary and arduous medical study career.

Studying medicine is a very difficult thing. The initial hardship lies in the need to learn to distinguish and memorize a large number of herbs and pathological analysis of diseases.This point is not easy even for Meng Yan, who is bright and bright. Daoist Luo is very strict with her, and he teaches her exactly as he teaches his disciples.The initial memorization left a hellish impression on Meng Yan.If she remembers wrongly, she will be spanked with a wooden stick. The pain is so painful that she wants to cry but she just can't cry.Senior brother Qingxu told her that she learned much faster than he did back then, Qingxu was much worse than her back then, being whipped by Daoist Luo with a rattan cane, he could only lie on the bed, and had to continue to memorize the properties of the medicine.But this is the case with studying medicine, and there is no room for carelessness, because every judgment of a doctor is related to human life, and if you are not good at learning, you will not be able to practice medicine.

The second difficulty lies in the need to master how to judge the cause of the disease from the symptoms, and prescribe the right medicine, with the help of gold and stone.At the same time, we must further familiarize ourselves with the properties of medicines and start to learn how to make prescriptions.Since ancient times, every doctor has his own prescription, and the prescription is not fixed, and changes with the patient, constantly changing.This kind of ever-changing requires doctors to continue to study deeply and master deeper laws.Instead of asking for a sword, laying on the basis of the predecessors without making any efforts.She is often troubled by a question for a long time, without an answer, and no one can give her an answer.

The more bitter thing is at the end, that is to see a doctor, there is a kind of indescribable suffering.Seeing the pain of the patient makes her feel uncomfortable, and sometimes the patient does not understand or trust her, which is even more painful.Daoist Luo said that hanging a pot to help the world is not an easy task, and it requires great perseverance and determination. If a person does not have a great Buddhist heart and kindness, he will definitely not be able to be a good doctor.The four Meng brothers and sisters all have great perseverance and determination, but they can only see the heart of Buddha in Meng Yan, and it is her bounden duty to be a doctor.

Meng Ai asked Daoist Luo, the second brother and sister are very kind, why they don't have the heart of Buddha.Daoist Luo smiled and didn't explain much.But soon Meng Yan understood the deep meaning of Luo Daochang's words.

Three months later, sister really came back.But her good sister, the one who loved and cared about her since she was a child, and who always liked to laugh and tease her, has completely changed.In addition to her tanned appearance, rough skin, and a large body, she became extremely violent, bad-tempered, silent all day long, either alone in the room, or ran out for half a day Without a trace, the communication between the two sisters was almost reduced to zero.

Meng Yan thought of the letter she wrote to her sister with the help of Daoist Luo and senior brother Qingxu in the past three months, but there was no news after sending it, which made her really worried.Now that her sister came back like this, she was terrified and begged Daoist Luo to save her sister.Luo Daochang comforted her, saying that her elder sister must have suffered too much grievance in the army, and she was so tit-for-tat and fully armed for the sake of protecting herself.After a while, she will relax.

As Daoist Luo said, a few days after Sister came back, she finally relaxed. Daoist Luo also talked to her, and she later apologized to Meng Ai. The two sisters had a heart-to-heart talk, and Meng Ai found out What happened to my sister in the army.Although Ajie spoke very briefly, it still made Meng Yan feel distressed.Poor sister, she really wants to grow up quickly so that she can take care of her herself.

Elder Sister was about to leave again. Before she left, she told the family that there was a problem with the delivery of the letters at home, and that she would rely on the staff of Zhao's Grain Company to deliver the letters. Only then did Meng Yan know that their family was being bullied by local snakes.She got angry and wanted to reason with the local snake, but Daoist Luo stopped her.Daoist Luo didn't say much, he just said that her elder sister will take care of this matter, so don't worry about it.This matter is out of her control.

The years that followed were still ordinary to Meng Ai. She worked hard to learn medical skills, and gradually became proficient in it, and began to practice medicine with Daoist Luo as an apprentice.As the years went by, she also received many letters from her second brother who was away. The contents of the letters were very simple, and she knew that her second brother always reported good news and not bad news.My sister's life in Jinyiwei is also getting better and better. After the catastrophe, the Meng family is finally on the right track, and her heart is finally much more peaceful.But her elder sister who joined the army and her second elder brother who are away from home are still her heart problems that she can never let go of. She only hopes that they will be safe and healthy, and she is satisfied.She also hated and resented the enmity in the family, but it may be because she was too young at the time, that kind of resentment was not as deep as that of her brothers and sisters, and it gradually faded with the passage of time.It's just that her brothers and sisters have this ambition, so she supports them unconditionally.The strange thing is that her resentment is concentrated on the little sister who stayed in her house for three months, maybe because Li Sui'er was the only one who had the clearest memory of her father and brother's death at that time, thinking of her father and brother Li Sui'er thought of Li Sui'er's death, and invisibly bound her to the death of her father and brother.But she never brought up this resentment to Sister A, because she could see that Sister A liked Li Sui'er very much, and she still missed her after so many years, and she never forgot.

Many years later, as she got older, she read more and more books, gained more knowledge, and experienced more and more.She gradually began to realize the real answer to the theory of the Buddha's heart that Taoist Luo and her said back then.Her second elder brother and elder sister are all good people, but she alone has a Buddha heart, because she has no obsession, no greed, no selfishness, a clear mind to see the nature, and a heart of great compassion to save others. Buddha heart.

Her second brother has a benevolent heart. "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye" has a saying: "A benevolent husband establishes others if he wants to establish himself, and achieves others if he wants to achieve himself." The second brother is a person with great ambitions and great pursuits. It is to help the common people in the world.

And her elder sister has a chivalrous heart.Think of righteousness when you see benefit, accept orders when you see danger, and never forget the words of your life for a long time.Poverty cannot be moved, and might cannot be bent.She has her own ultimate pursuit and goal, and she does not hesitate to risk her life for it.She can die for the one she loves; she can also stand in a strong world, travel Kyushu with a sword, and defeat princes with strength; she can even build walls with flesh and blood for the common people in the world, and she is a great hero.

She is proud of having such brothers and sisters, and hopes that she can always be their most solid backing, guarding the last peaceful destination of their struggles in the world.