Infinite Love ∞

When M returned to the apartment, the sun had already set. From a distance, M could see the dim lights on the corridor on the second floor of the apartment.Of course, I also saw the figure leaning against the concrete fence, the neighbor.

"Hmm."

"Hi, are you off work?"

M pushed his glasses and coughed deliberately, only then did S realize that M came back from get off work, S took down the cigarette that was just in his mouth with his thumb and forefinger, turned around and smiled at M again.

"Can you please stop smoking here?"

"Yeah? What's the deal with semi-open spaces?"

S looked at the unfinished cigarette in his hand, smiled crookedly at M, took another puff, exhaled and spit out a cloud of white mist into the air, watching the white smoke rise and disappear with half-closed amber eyes.

"I don't want to inhale your second-hand smoke. In addition to causing lung cancer and high blood pressure, smoking can also cause sexual dysfunction, do you know?"

M walked past S lightly, crossed S's room and came to the door of his own room, ready to take out the key from the briefcase on his back.

"Fuck, bluff me, I'm still alive and kicking off every day!"

"You are still young and don't feel it. I advise you to smoke less." The doorknob unlocked with a crackling sound, which also released S's laughter.

"Hahahaha, it's already thirty, is it still young?"

S' smiling eyes bent into two small bridges, turned his face sideways, took a deep breath of the almost burnt tobacco in his hand, and then extinguished it in the ashtray placed on the fence.

M stopped and turned to look at the college student behind him who claimed to be 30 years old... No, maybe he was a member of society. M watched in disbelief. Although his face still had the usual Puke face, his heart was indeed slightly shaken.

The meeting was too hasty in the morning, so M now has time to carefully scan S leaning on the fence.In addition to his dark skin and slender figure, he is actually not tall. Visually, he should be less than [-], which is not at all in the general definition of tall.Plus that pair of smiling eyes, and that strong kid breath... No, there are also some immature behaviors.

In any case, it will not be associated with the year of standing.

"I thought you were a college student."

"Hahahaha, relying on the waist, it's better!"

And does this guy have to use dirty words when he speaks? M frowned in confusion, and walked directly into the room without continuing the conversation.

"Hey! M, tell me what you think after watching your movie this morning, if you like it, I have something else."

"thank you for your kindness."

This guy will appear in an art gallery, am I mistaken?

M put a big question mark in his heart, and directly closed the door. The porn film S gave him was still lying on the cabinet in the entrance, and it hadn't been moved since it was put down in that seat in the morning.

The new life is gradually on the track in M's expectation, and this special neighbor, at most, meets and greets in the corridor of the apartment when going to work, and there is almost no intersection at other times. M didn't take it to heart, after all, he was used to being alone, and cutting unnecessary social interactions made him quite relieved.

Until the neighbor reappeared in the tic-tac-toe box in front of him, the situation began to change slightly.

"Yes, the lights on the second floor on the east side are completely off in one area... Yes, please trouble me again."

M hangs up the phone call just finished in the office, and just looks up at the monitor as a habit, but in a certain image frame, he catches a glimpse of that thin figure; S is standing in front of a certain painting with his hand in his jeans pocket .

He also comes here today?It's really indescribable...

Just as M's thoughts were wandering through the monitor screen, a female colleague leaned over and peeked from outside the office door.

"Xiaoyu, the lamp repairer is here."

"Ah, okay."

M turned to look at the female colleague who stood up, and S in the monitor was still in the same position in the picture.

The maintenance worker straddled the ladder and raised his hands high. After removing the old lamp tube, he inspected the upper lampstand. After looking at it, he indicated to M at the bottom of the ladder that he still needed to go to the tool room to get materials, leaving M on the side of the ladder looking at the second floor of the art gallery. building.As a newcomer, he is not very familiar with the structure of the art museum. This space is designed as a building within a building. You can see the downstairs exhibition room from the fence on the upper floor. When M's eyes drifted to the corner downstairs, he found S. Standing there, it is the same place as on the monitor screen just now.

Has he been standing there since just now?Is he in a daze, or is he really savoring the work?

The distance is a bit far away, and there is a difference in height between upstairs and downstairs. M can't quite see what S's expression is now.What is more certain is that S is looking at the painting quietly, and M is looking at S quietly.

Who would have thought that this man smoked, drank and sweared?Crying and laughing at one time, noisy as hell when we met, but unbelievably quiet now, what kind of person is he?

The doubts in M's heart gradually expanded as he watched S.

The time when S appears is not certain. After M's observation for a whole week, the time is mostly after three o'clock and before the museum closes, M will see S's figure in a certain frame of the monitor screen.Sometimes, he can be seen wandering around the permanent exhibition areas in the museum, no doubt because those areas are free; sometimes, he will sit in front of the large sculptures in the museum, looking like he is in a daze; Sometimes, he would stand in the sun under the large French windows not far from the entrance gate.

But the monitor screen was always blurry, and S's expression couldn't be seen even when shooting from above.Because it is not sure whether S is smiling, crying or something else, whenever M sees S appearing in the museum, he thinks of the star that cannot defy gravity under the fiery sunset on the first day after work. Amber teardrops, the moment they fall.

That image is still deeply imprinted in M's mind.

One day, M felt that it was inexplicably long.

The workload has not increased or decreased, but M always feels that he has forgotten something?But I can't remember how to think about it.The M who made it was a little restless all day long, worried that there would be work missing, and he who demanded perfection would not allow this kind of thing to happen.

Another day passed peacefully, and the time finally came to the gratifying 58:[-]. M tidied up his desktop and was about to leave work. The colleague sitting behind him was already ready for a run-up, and it was [-]:[-] with his backpack on his back. Card.As soon as the clock rang, colleagues said goodbye to M one after another.After he came, it became one of his responsibilities to finally lock the office door, so M did not leave quickly after confirming that the environment was in the correct position.

So I didn't see that guy today.Uh, but he's not obligated to show up every day, so why should I care?Go to the supermarket to buy food for the next two days before going home.

M walked into the supermarket that opened on Ertiao Street outside the Art Museum. If you didn’t buy food in the city center, the nearest convenience store to the apartment would be a ten-minute walk. It would be troublesome to store food irregularly. M casually browsed around the supermarket, and came to the checkout area with a shopping basket.A familiar and high-pitched voice came from the ear, and M immediately found the owner of the voice, because his voice was the loudest and most eye-catching in this space.

S is happily talking to the checkout customers at the cash register, with a bright smile on his face.

So he works here?So I was occupied by part-time work, so I didn't go to the art museum?

The feeling of depression that had been lingering in his heart for a whole day suddenly evaporated and dissipated at this moment. Only then did M feel a little more comfortable in his heart, but he was not sure why.

"Do you have a membership card?"

"no."

"M! Why did you come here to buy things?"

"The company is nearby."

"Oh? Just got off work?"

M deliberately chooses to check out at the cashier at station S. S sees M, smiles and narrows his eyes like a child, but M still maintains his No. [-] expression. M knew that the person in front of him would not flinch because of his expression, and he was a neighbor whom he could often meet, so without those polite official smiles, it made him feel quite relaxed.

The cashier swiped through beeps and beeps, and the last barcode scanned was a carrot.

"Wow, M, did you buy these to cook yourself?"

In the shopping bag, there are green vegetables and uncut raw meat, all of which are ingredients that need to be cooked. S smiled and opened his mouth wide in surprise.

"Well, eating out is not healthy."

"Damn, it's true, I actually cook by myself! I can only fry poached eggs, hahahaha."

"Just ordinary home cooking."

"Homework is good, I'm hungry after talking about it hahahaha."

Seeing S smiling so happily, M suddenly didn't know what to express.

It should be said that M felt a kind of inexplicable contradiction with S's exaggerated way of laughing.Isn't it just a normal conversation, why can you be so happy?Where did those tears go?

S helps M to settle the bill, and after saying thank you for coming according to the standard operating procedure, he lifts the shopping bag with both hands and hands it to M.When he took the shopping bag, S showed his usual row of white teeth again, and his bright smile seemed to show that he didn't need money; in fact, he really didn't.For M, it was an expression that even he himself didn't know if he had shown it before. In what state could such a happy smile appear? M walked to the subway station, recalling when was the last time he laughed.

When he was a student, he had been buried in books. Although he didn't have particularly painful memories, he didn't have any happy memories either.

In high school, because his mother was the dean of instruction, his classmates had a preconceived sense of distance from him.Coupled with his face that doesn't like to smile, the students are afraid of him when they see him.While other students were playing ball, participating in club activities after class, or going to the fast food restaurant to eat French fries and chatting about how sweet the girl is, he stayed in the training office preparing for the next day's quiz, waiting for his mother Let's go home after class together.

The lack of a lot of communication made him rank among the best in grades, but M has never felt at ease in his heart.It's like a hunger pang, but there's no food around to fill you up.I had no choice but to deceive myself that it was just a momentary gluttony, and I couldn't die if I didn't eat it.So I just kept my stomach empty trying to ignore my hunger, pressing an unnamed bug that was about to move to the deepest part of my mind.

When was the last time you laughed?

On the way home, M still didn't get an answer.

The sound of pacing and chopping vegetables came from the kitchen, as well as the scalding hot water boiling on the stove, and the sound of gurgling and bouncing echoed in the room.Only a small light on the kitchen wall was turned on, and the whole room seemed a little dim. After quietly preparing the dinner, M sat alone at the table to eat, watching the evening news that was always negative news with a blank expression.

Eating alone feels quite lonely. No wonder people say to find a companion, at least someone to have breakfast with. Is this the feeling?

After washing the dishes, M sat on the sofa and watched the health program after the news for a while.Within half an hour, he lifted the dumbbells placed on the ground and stood in front of the screen while watching TV while exercising his arm muscles.After the health program, he usually has nothing to do and is ready to take a shower and go to bed.

Every day when I moved here was like this, a regular and boring life.

M came out of the bathroom door next to the entrance with a towel on after taking a shower. M rubbed her wet hair with a towel and was walking into the house.Suddenly the doorbell rang loudly!M was really taken aback!

Oh my god, this doorbell is really harsh. In fact, the room is so small that you can hear the door knocking, right?

Nervous by the doorbell, M turned around and put on the glasses that had been placed on the cabinet in the entrance before taking a shower.I wanted to open the door directly, but found that I was shirtless after taking a shower.

"Please wait for me!" M shouted to the door, and randomly took a gray plain T-shirt from the closet and put it on.

"Mile Queen!"

As soon as I opened the door, I saw the Miaomiao cat who looked like Alice in Wonderland. The first thing I saw in the dark was his smiling teeth reappearing at my door.

"Uh... can I use the door knocker later? Don't you think the electric bell is very noisy?"

"Yeah, no one has moved here for a long time, I don't know." S smiled and scratched his messy hair.

"Is there a problem?"

"This is for you." S gave M a package of things, and the name of the supermarket where S worked was printed on the plastic bag.

"?"

"It's something that will be taken off the shelves when the time comes, but it's actually still good."

"You're firing, so you should be able to use it."

"Thanks."

S lowered his exaggerated smile, perhaps showing a little fatigue because he just got off work, his eyes seemed not as bright as when he saw him in the supermarket. M took the bag and looked inside. There were some seasonings and root vegetables; a few potatoes and the carrots I just bought, and a few big, red tomatoes as a bonus.

"I'll bring it to you if I have any later." S squinted his eyes, saying that he was smiling with his eyes, and it was not an exaggeration to say that those eyes were always moist.

"You just got off work now?"

"Yeah, late shift today."

"Have you got a meal yet?"

"Not yet, but I still have beer in the fridge."

"That's not dinner..."

M looked at S with half-downcast eyes, with a bit of sarcasm.But S just smiled, raised his thumb and pointed in the direction of his home, this is the most gentle appearance that M has seen S in the past few days.

"Hey, have you watched the movie?"

"Uh."

S found the DVD that was still on the cabinet in the entrance, and remembered this incident again.But M never opened the box at all, it should be said that he never moved it at all. M originally planned to throw it away secretly, but she was worried that it would be too embarrassing for S to find out, so she didn't do anything to "subdue the temptation" for a long time.

"I cooked pasta last night and there is still leftovers, do you want some?"

"Pasta!"

S, who was feeling a little tired, immediately lit up when he heard M's invitation! M seemed to see the wagging tail behind S running out again!If you want to choose a breed for him, it must be a small dog; noisy, bouncing, happy and will immediately wag its tail at the owner.

M was thinking about it again without authorization.

S is sitting at the small dining table in M's room, and M is sitting on the opposite side of S, boringly switching on the TV.He wasn't very clear about the programs after nine o'clock, so he simply stopped on the music channel to listen to songs.

"I started! Thank you for your selfless sharing!"

S happily raised the fork to poke at the pasta, happily twirled it in the center of the plate, rolled out a ball of dough the size of a ball of yarn, and stuffed it into his mouth.

"I still can't grasp the amount for one person, it's too much to cook."

"Mmm, um, delicious, you are good at cooking!"

Like a greedy hamster, S's mouth is stuffed with food and his cheeks are puffed out, and the red tomato sauce is also stained on the side of his mouth. It seems that he is already starving.Seeing S eating so contentedly, M unconsciously raised the corners of his mouth and smiled, perhaps only three and a half degrees, but this was already his most vivid expression recently.

He looks really thin.

M stared at S's hand that was holding the fork tightly. On the bony back of the hand, you could see the radial hand bones and the bone protrusions at the junction of the wrists; while S was chewing and turning his head to look at the TV, his slender neck was clearly visible. The lines, and the three-dimensional collarbone were washed to a slightly loose old T-shirt neckline, and the head was slightly poked out.

"You don't have time to eat while you're working?"

"No, cough." S ate too fast and almost choked when he spoke suddenly. He closed his mouth with one hand and chewed the food in his mouth carefully before he could speak.

"It's a bit embarrassing to say it." S made a coquettish face and pinched his nose, not knowing where to put his hands.

"Too lazy to buy?" M randomly guessed possible answers.

"No, it's just... I hate eating alone, so I thought it would be fine to just open a few cans of beer when I get home from get off work."

S waved a fork and smiled wryly and met M's eyes. Perhaps the reason as S said made him hard to say. S immediately turned his head and took another mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth.

In other words, he is often alone, so he always skips dinner?

M turned his head quickly, and with the evidence of the thin body in front of him, he immediately came to this conclusion.

"Although I used to go to a friend's house for dinner at a fixed time..."

S lowered his eyes slightly to look at the table, and only half-spoken. This kind of behavior often arouses greater interest from the audience.

"What's wrong? Your friend doesn't welcome you?"

"No, he got married this year, and his wife gave birth to a baby last month. I'm sorry to keep bothering him."

I saw S holding up the plate, crawling the remaining noodles and sauce into his mouth, straightening his slumped back, looking in the direction of the TV again, feeling a little clumsy and wanting to end this topic.

"Would you like to have dinner together after that?"

"Huh?" S opened his eyes wide in surprise, maybe he had eaten too much just now, swallowed the food in his mouth with some force, and looked at M's calm face.

"It's easier to cook for two people, and it saves money."

"Why, what a shame."

"Some ingredients are not durable, and it is a waste if one person can't finish them."

"..." M pushed his glasses and stood up, while S bit his fork and watched M stand up in front of his eyes, without answering for a long time.

"Let's decide."

"What the hell! I'll collect it myself!" M reached out to pick up the plate that S had just finished eating, but was stopped by S immediately and bounced off the chair, snatched the plate and took it directly to the sink.

"There's no reason for you to wash the dishes after being entertained by you. I'd like to borrow your dishwashing liquid!" S picked up the dishcloth next to the sink, turned on the faucet, and lowered his head to clean it.

So this guy is still polite?What a surprise.No, no matter what, he is two years older than me, so these should be the basics.

M secretly teased S in his heart, he didn't know that at this moment, a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. M walked to the sofa and sat down, picked up the remote control and cut randomly. Looking at the electronic clock on the low table, it was already approaching ten o'clock. Usually at this time, M should be ready to turn off the lights and rest.

"You really just moved here, your room looks empty."

S came out of the kitchen, stood beside M, and looked around the room; there were only some basic furniture, and except for the traces of use in the kitchen, the other places were extremely lacking in sense of life.The tidy-up small TV table only put the TV remote control in M's hand just now; the entire empty wall, due to the passage of time, has a somewhat dull ivory white, unlike room S, which is decorated with paintings of various colors. The beige sofa, the wooden dining table and bed board, and the dark brown sheets with some fine stripes make the whole room look clean and tidy, but it also lacks vigor.

"Obviously the layout of my room is the same, but it feels like there are so few things."

"You don't need anything superfluous to live alone."

"Is that so." S seemed to be thinking about something.

"Thank you for your hospitality today, then I should leave."

Exit?What exit?This guy is playing lip service again.

M frowned and looked at S sideways.

"Then I'll go back."

"Um."

M responded calmly, mentally planning that he would go straight to bed when S returned.Unexpectedly, when S walked to the door, he saw the untouched "Uniform Temptation" on the cabinet next to it, and the cover was covered with a thin layer of dust, so S picked up the DVD box and said to M.

"Huh? M, you haven't told me whether you like this movie or not."

"I'm not interested, take it back."

"Damn, aren't you afraid to watch porn?" S walked into the room with the DVD in hand, and squatted down in front of M's TV.

"You should have a player, right?"

"What are you doing?"

"Gege will watch with you, don't be shy."

Seeing S walking back again, M suddenly felt a little annoyed, because he was about to turn off the TV a second ago. S pressed the power of the DVD player, smiled and said that it was on, and directly put the DVD disc into the groove of the player.

"I said I'm not interested, don't you understand?" Although M's tone is still as cold as usual, but the words used can clearly feel unpleasant.

I thought he was very polite just now, but now I feel like kicking him out.

"This actress is so cute! You should like it."

S sat down on the seat next to M, ignoring that M was staring at him with a frown, his expression mixed with a little speechlessness and a little anger. S turned his head to look at M's expression, not only did not show any apology, but instead he pursed his mouth together triumphantly and smiled into a big V shape.

"Look, even if you don't like me, there are other things."

"No, it's not that problem at all, at this time..."

"You can only watch porn at this time, don't worry! There is no one living upstairs, so it's okay if you want to play it louder."

S playfully opened his eyes wide and made an OK gesture with both hands, making M completely defeated by S and lowered his head, burying his face in his palms.

This, home, guy, to, what, how, what, what, what!

M shouted loudly in his heart, but he has always been gentle and refined, of course he would not yell at anyone, but asked himself to be silent in his heart until ten, and then calmly analyze the current situation.This is what his father, who was a soldier, taught him: "Know yourself and the enemy, and you will win every battle." 』If you don’t understand the situation and are too impulsive, you will definitely make a wrong choice.

M sighed deeply, stepped back and leaned on the sofa, crossed her hands in front of her chest.I wondered why the neighbor next to me was so obsessed with porn, and wanted to give it to him as a gift? M turned her head to look at S who was huddled on the sofa, but she was quite intent on watching the beginning of the porn movie; the actress appeared wearing a student uniform with a low cut, and made some unimaginable moves, trying to attract the interest of the male audience With sex.

I just said twice that he wants to go back, is it to see if I will keep him?Could it be that he was reluctant to go back?

It was only after M calmed down a little that he thought about the unnatural feeling that S had given him just now when he was about to go back. Not only did S say goodbye twice, but in the end he still wanted to find something to talk about and continue to stay.It's just that this topic is a bit too shocking. Can people who just met watch porn together?Did he interact with others so little in the past that he lost touch with the human relationships of this society? M even questioned himself.

But thinking of the lonely look in S's eyes when he mentioned that he didn't like eating alone, M seemed to understand something.

Forget it, it's just an A movie, let him watch it in less than an hour.

"Hey, every time I feel that the plot of the A movie is all kinds of stupid! Hahahaha."

"Too fake."

It's clearly a sexual porn, but S smiled as if he was watching a comedy, and M just replied coldly. M silently extinguished the anger in his heart, but the sultry figure of the beauty in the film still couldn't ignite his desire.

Do you really want to say, has M ever seen an A movie?It can be said that there is, but it can also be said that it is not.The first time he knew that there was such a "human sex video" was when he was already in his sophomore year. In order to make fun of the other group of students, the classmate replaced the link of the other party's newsletter with an pornographic link.When the classmate who gave the report came to the stage and opened the briefing, a live erotic drama was staged in the classroom.The group leader who caused the report was so frightened that he turned off the power of the computer and shouted for an emergency stop. The male students in the class cheered one after another, while the female students screamed again and again.

The calm M was stunned for a moment but didn't react too much. He thought that this kind of film was a well-arranged plot, and those actors just acted according to the script.Isn't biological sex just to reproduce the next generation?He can't understand what the pointless sex in the film is for?

The two were silent for a while, the only thing left in the room was the horrible groans coming from the TV.As time progresses, the actresses in the film also travel less and less, and of course it is inevitable to expose the most private place of human beings naked.While M was still calmly looking at the TV screen, she complained that the actress in the film would not run away when she encountered a pervert.There was a brushing sound next to my ear, and M looked to the side.

S leaned against the sofa, but reached into the jeans that had just been unzipped with one hand.

M stared dumbfounded at S's right hand, stroking herself back and forth outside the underwear.

S looked at the screen with a lewd expression, slightly parted lips and flushed cheeks, enjoying the desire aroused by the video.

M continues to stop.

S noticed that M was staring at him, and the next second, S squinted his eyes and smiled.

"You can come together, I don't mind."

What is this guy doing! ! !

"Hey! It doesn't matter if I'm here!"

M really panicked, he, who was always calm, yelled out loudly at this moment.

How, how could anyone do such a thing in front of another human being!

"You have what I have, why are you shy? Fuck, you don't know how to handjob, right? Do you want me to teach you?"

S didn't mean to stop, but rather made fun of it

That day, I found a crooked fork in the straight road.