[EXO] Jing Ci

I don't know when it started, but I was suppressed by a title.

Everyone is saying, you are the eldest lady of the Baek family, and you will inherit the whole family in the future, so you must do this and complete that, you can't rest, you must be stronger than everyone, if you don't complete those, how can you be qualified sleep.So Bai Nian never had a good rest since he was a child, even if he was so tired that he could suffocate and his legs and feet couldn't stand still, he still had to continue training.

This is her life.

Her mother has high demands on her, and she never slackens. Apart from the training of elemental magic, she also added training courses of alchemy magic. No matter how hard she tried, her mother never showed a smile to her, as if she always treated her dissatisfied.

She knew that there was another person outside the family named Bian Boxian. Even if she had never met her, she had heard this name many times from her mother. She could lose to anyone, but she couldn't lose to Bian Boxian.

But she can't lose to anyone.

Because as the eldest lady of the Baek family, she cannot have a record of losing, and she must win no matter how contemptuous the means are. Steady pace.She didn't know if this was right, but she could only accept it, because this was the rule of survival.

Even though her mother is very strict with her, Bai Nian knows that her mother loves her very much. Apart from being strict with her during training, she is very kind to her and will satisfy her with any request.

"Nian Nian, you can't fall in love with anyone in the future, understand?" Mother always said to her like this.

At that time, Bai Nian didn't understand the meaning of what her mother said, so she could only nod her head. Those words were too far away for her, but she still knew to some extent that what her mother was talking about was between herself and her father.

Most of the marriages between families have no emotional basis, but the mother loves the father very much, so she is willing to accept this marriage, but the father has never loved the mother, what he loves is the man named Bian Boxian Mother.

Because of this, Bai Nian is more or less clear about what her mother has done. She feels that there is nothing wrong with doing this. After all, that man named Bian Boxian is just an illegitimate child. What right does he have to rob her of his father, let alone his mother? And because they are so sad.

Although such a life was not pleasant, Bai Nian felt that there was nothing wrong with living like this until one day, in order to avoid the teacher, she hid in her father's study.

"Tell me! Are you still in contact with that woman!" The mother's voice was very different from usual, it sounded like she had cried.

Father interrupted her impatiently: "How many times have I told you, don't worry about my business."

"Why don't I care! You are my husband, you have been seduced by women outside, can I stay out of it! Can't I even look down on my own husband!"

Her father didn't reply to her.

"Bai Jingsong! You talk, why don't you say a word, feel guilty, admit it? Finally don't want to face me anymore? Have you forgotten that I am your wife!"

Bai Nian who was hiding in the bookcase couldn't help but started to cry, wiped his tears with the back of his small hand, and covered his mouth desperately to prevent himself from making a sound, at least not to be discovered by outsiders.This was the first time she heard her mother's desperate voice, even mixed with crying, footsteps, and the sound of porcelain smashing on the ground.

She was very scared, she felt that she was going to have no home, would her father drive them all out, would she not have her mother, would she...

Not even her.

"enough!"

In an instant, all sounds stopped.

Bai Nian, who was trembling all over, was also frightened and froze in place.

"Just do what you have to do."

With the sound of closing the door, the sound of mother crying reached Bai Nian's ears again.It was the father who left the study, while the mother was still crying on the spot.

She quietly walked out of the bookcase, trotted a few steps and hugged her mother, trying to comfort her, but before she could say anything, she felt that something was stained on her clothes, and a large area was wet.

Bright red blood stained the hem of the skirt, and the original white satin was dyed bright red.

"Mom—Mom!" Bai Nian was so frightened that his voice began to tremble.

The woman she called out tried to squeeze out a smile. This was the first time she saw her mother's smile, but she didn't expect it to be at this time. She was so frightened that she cried, calling her over and over again, thinking Let her give herself a little response.

"Don't fall in love with anyone, look at me now... that's what happens to lovers..."

These were the last words her mother had ever said to her.

It was also at that time that Bai Nian decided to restart the research on Jingci. If time could be turned back, then the mother would be able to come back and not die in front of her. But no matter what she said, her father did not agree. He just died, and Byun Baekhyun...

She hated her father, and she hated that guy named Bian Boxian even more.

If it weren't for their mother and son, their family of three would be very happy, and the root of all this is all because of them!So she decided to step by step to push her father down, emptied his power, and then took his place.

The opportunity came in the first year after entering St. Yi, she knew about the existence of Do Kyungsoo. With the help of the imperial army, the probability of success would be much higher. To her surprise, Do Kyungsoo agreed very quickly. to her, and to help her with all his might.

Why does he want to help himself like this, is there any purpose?

But since they are partners tied together by marriage, if he has some goals that are consistent with hers, then it's okay to accomplish them together, but what she didn't expect was that Do Kyungsoo likes her.

like……

This is the most untouchable thing for her.

Loving someone will end up like her mother, because love will make people have weaknesses and make people humble, and as the head of the Baek family, she cannot have any weaknesses, nor can she bow to anyone.

From the very beginning she had no way out.

It was doomed from birth, she will never have someone she likes in her life, even if that person is Do Kyungsoo.

So she rejected his good intentions everywhere, and avoided his intentions in all indifferent ways, thinking that this would prevent him from expressing his love for her, thinking that this would be the best of both worlds.

But she did not expect that Do Kyungsoo would die in the line of duty.

On the day of the mourning ceremony, it was raining heavily, she didn't go to the scene, but stood in the courtyard, the housekeeper stood next to her with an umbrella, watching Bai Nian throwing letters one after another into the incinerator, Those papers were quickly reduced to ashes under the burning of the flames, and nothing was left.

Bai Nian didn't cry.

Just can't laugh.

There were so many letters that she could only dump all the letters in the basket in one go, and watch them turn to ashes bit by bit.The smoke made my eyes a little sore, as if I was about to cry.

"Miss can actually go to the mourning ceremony."

"No need." Bai Nian closed his eyes, "What am I going to mourn, instead of wasting time remembering the deceased, why not think about what the Baek family should do next."

It's useless to always be immersed in the past, she can't respond to Do Kyungsoo, no matter how clear she is about his feelings for her, she can't touch such a thing as "like".

Did she ever like him?

In fact, Bai Nian himself didn't know, he just felt that it wasn't worth it for Do Kyungsoo, if the person he chose wasn't him, maybe he wouldn't have embarked on such a path, but it happened to be him.

Only she knows what is behind the name of the Patriarch of the Baek family and what she needs to bear. Those burdens don't need to be shared with anyone, and it is enough for her to bear them alone.

She will not cry for Do Kyungsoo's departure, because it is unnecessary, and looking back at the past will not help the reality, except to increase troubles.

She thought that she should never have liked Do Kyungsoo, but a person like him is really good as a partner and a trustworthy person, but it's a pity that he likes her.

"You shouldn't like me." Bai Nian muttered to himself.

All the letters had been burned, and the rain hadn't stopped. The sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella seemed to be hitting people's hearts, and it actually brought a burst of sadness.Probably it is really a rendering of the environment, but I still feel a little sad.

"Go ahead and leave me alone for a while."

The housekeeper wanted to give her the umbrella, but Bai Nian refused, she just stood there, closed her eyes, letting the raindrops hit her, the sweater was already wet, her black hair stuck to her cheeks, His vision was blurred, and his face was covered with water, as if he was crying.

But she didn't cry.

On the anniversary of Do Kyungsoo's death, Bai Nian would occasionally find time to visit him in the Martyrs' Garden, put a bunch of white chrysanthemums in front of his tombstone, and stand quietly for a while.

She comes here every year, just by herself.

The engagement with Do Kyungsoo was naturally broken because of his death. The elders in the clan asked her to quickly find a better magician to get engaged, but she refused, not because she still missed Do Kyungsoo, but because she felt that It's not necessary, such a person who likes her will end up like this, so why change it to someone else.

In this world, those who loved her, those who hated her, and those whom she hated had all left, as if the whole world had abandoned her, and she was the only one left.

Mother is gone.

Father is gone.

Do Kyungsoo left.

Baekhyun left.

Relevant and irrelevant, all completely disappeared in her world, as if her whole life was fast-forwarded after they all left, and what happened was completely forgotten.Everything was abandoned in the wilderness of time, and she stood in that wilderness.

"Do Kyungsoo, do you believe in reincarnation?" Bai Nian suddenly asked.

No one can answer her.

"If there is reincarnation..."

If there is reincarnation...

She couldn't go on.

Wei Wei raised the corner of her mouth: "You still don't want to meet me."

Because I can't love you.