escape package

After Luo Xingyi returned from the cemetery, under the guidance of Ji Shuyao, he locked himself in a training room dedicated to the army, and never came out again.

He still couldn't shed a single tear. After being tense to the extreme, he lost any emotion and could only evaporate the infinite pain in the form of sweat.

Exercise is not effective for healing, but this kind of excessive physical self-abuse can strangely balance inner pain and guilt.Luo Xingyi kept fighting against the machine, one blow at a time, exhausted until he could no longer make any attacks.

just stopped.

After numbly taking a shower and changing clothes, he threw his exhausted self on the bed.

Xicheng is not far from the holy city, but the access restrictions between the two cities are strict, the procedures are cumbersome, and there is no direct road, it takes more than half a day to go back and forth.

It was late when Qu Lin came back, and the lights outside were just turned on, but not a single lamp was lit in the living room.Silence and thick darkness permeate the room, and against the warm orange light outside the window, it looks more like a corner forgotten by laughter.

He stood in the living room and thought about it, and felt that Luo Xingyi should be given alone time to digest himself, so he went back to his room to wash off his dusty body.But he was really restless behind, worried about Luo Xingyi's emotional state, so he walked over and knocked on the door of Luo Xingyi's room with his fingers.

"The door is unlocked." About ten seconds later, Luo Xingyi's voice came from inside the door, very soft, like a bubble that could burst at the touch of a button.

Qu Lin opened the door and entered, and saw that there was no extra furniture in the huge room, and the pure white wool carpet was spread all over the floor, but it was extremely empty.Luo Xingyi was lying on the bed, his legs dangling weakly by the bed, silently looking at the ceiling in the dark night, his eyes were empty.

In fact, at this time, Qu Lin didn't know what to say, but he still came in.After he came in, he had no place to sit. He knew that Luo Xingyi didn't like others touching his bed, and he couldn't sleep temporarily, so he still stood there.

It was Luo Xingyi who spoke first.

"No chair." Luo Xingyi's voice could not hear the ups and downs of emotions, he patted the open space next to him slightly, "Sit down, no more tea, wait."

Qu Lin walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed. After that, the two of them maintained this posture and atmosphere, and did not speak for a long, long time.

The silent night was getting darker and darker. The lights outside were brightly lit and then turned off one by one. The Xiangzhu forest outside the window was blown by the wind, and the silhouette of the mother-in-law reflected on the wall also swayed slightly.

The innocent autumn moon illuminated Qu Lin's side face.

Luo Xingyi kept staring at the ceiling, maybe at some point, he finally moved his fingers again, walked over a distance of ten centimeters, and grabbed Qu Lin's hand.

His hands were cold, and his fingertips were as stiff as a piece of ice. He grabbed Qu Lin's warm fingers and said, "Qu Lin, I'm so tired. I want to sleep, but I can't sleep. I can't sleep no matter what."

Qu Lin held his cold hand in his, "It's okay, I'll be with you."

After the human voice sounded again in the room, Luo Xingyi sighed, and then he seemed to wake up again, with some anger on his face.Once you open your mouth, all the words you owed all day will surge out at this moment.

He said: "I know 24 years is too long, anything can happen, I just don't want to accept it, I just... I just feel so sorry, so sorry. I don't know what I have done in my life, in the past How many things have I got from them in my days, I have never had time to return...I have never had time to do anything for them. There are too few happy days, and I am not worth it for them."

"Qu Lin, why do you think there is no turning back time in this world? I really want to hug them again. I miss them, I want to see them again, only a few minutes, only one side is fine."

When Luo Xingyi said this, his soul seemed to be floating, floating in the sea of ​​memories, and before his eyes were memories that kept turning over.

Because we can never see each other again, those memories of the past are infinitely precious, and even the painful things become full of meaning.

"I remember that I seemed to tell you that when I was a child, I was in very poor health and had to undergo chemotherapy and dialysis from time to time, so I had no hair at that time. But I envied other children who had hair and long hair. I just I think, when I stop losing my hair, I will also have long hair." Luo Xingyi said, stroking his hair, "Afterwards my illness was cured, and I went to high school outside the 'Moon Palace'. Because My dad is often asked to be a parent about hair, he always said he wished he could cut it with a pair of scissors, but every time he failed under my mother's protection."

As if recalling his father's distraught and helpless expression on his mother's expression at that time, Luo Xingyi smiled, "I really appreciate them and love them very much. Back then, if they had the slightest hesitation, I would never have been here. just die..."

Luo Xingyi's voice was slow, and he talked about many things about his childhood.From a babbling child to a high-spirited teenager, from following his mother in the ward to read characters with a pinyin picture book, to receiving the admission letter of his favorite university... all the way with the support of his parents. .

As if completing some ceremony, he personally mourned his parents and his life here, dedicating a love with deep regret to the two people who accompanied him in the first half of his life.

Qu Lin has been listening carefully, walking with him in the corridor of time, reviewing every gem-like memory one by one.

Then he heard Luo Xingyi ask him: "What about you?"

What about your past?

In the past, Qu Lin never brought up this topic, whether he had nothing to say or didn't want to recall anymore, he never talked about himself.

Luo Xingyi could probably guess that he was not doing well, so he just asked casually, never thinking about what he really wanted to answer.

But this time was unprecedented, maybe it was because of his pity, the story was really moving, Qu Lin did not avoid him, and opened his true heart to him for the first time, allowing him to come into contact with the world behind the closed city.

"I'm a special case. I was not born with the 'sunset' virus. I was accidentally infected with a small dose of the 'sunset' virus, but I survived without becoming zombified or suffering from any illness." This It seemed to be a very heavy topic. After Qu Lin opened his mouth, he also fell down and lay on the bed, "So at that time, the entire senior management wanted me to be the subject of research."

"My parents didn't agree to hand me over to the research institute, and after mediating for a long time, they managed to get me a ten-year-old deadline--before I was ten years old, I didn't have to enter the institute. I followed my mother back to country E , There, she created a grand simulation experiment for me, and the continuous selection of experiments was to prepare for my life after the age of ten, because at that time, no one knew how much dose of the experimental solution I could bear. "

Luo Xingyi listened, and suddenly clenched his hands.

It seems that there is nothing to say here, Qu Lin said a few words to bring him through the boring life of following his mother day after day, "Later, when the time came, I was taken back to Ganyuan."

Qu Lin will always remember that dinner on the day he returned to Qu's house.

He left home when he was two years old and has no memory of this place at all. When his father, whom he hadn't seen for a long time, saw him, he just nodded and asked him to sit down for dinner.

The food is very Chinese style, and they also use chopsticks, which he doesn't know how to use.

Seeing that he couldn't hold the chopsticks well, the cousins ​​sat beside him awkwardly, as if they wanted to make a noise. Seeing this, the housekeeper who was waiting on the side wanted to ask someone to change him into a spoon, but his father stopped him.He put down his chopsticks in a dignified manner, without making a sound, wiped the non-existing oil stains around his mouth with a napkin, and said to him, "Since you can't hold chopsticks well, don't eat them."

In those few years when he returned to Ganyuan, Qu Lin didn’t want to recall it at all. He didn’t want to see himself who looked like a beast but not a human, so he skipped it and said, “The Type II experiment started, and I was sent to the I went to live with my teacher. He was an annoying guy, but he taught me a lot and I respect him. Then I went to military school - 'trial', that's when they did it for me, so you This is the reason why it cannot be used for too long.”

"But in fact, life in the military academy is not very interesting. The classes are very simple. I have read all the books taught by the teachers, which are more interesting than what they teach. There is nothing to say about physical training. Ye Yingxun is not allowed to go out of Ganyuan because of the restriction, so he feels bored. I came to school to play. In school, I met 008 and some other people, and I passed through the not-so-boring student days. I think you should be able to find out what happened later."

Luo Xingyi was silent for a while, and found that in Qu Lin's short memories, his parents were rarely mentioned, and asked: "Then your parents, haven't you been with you much?"

Qu Lin thought for a while: "It's not completely absent, but very few."

"... very little." He repeated it softly, as if confirming, as if persuading.

"Why? Because you're busy?"

"Because they don't want me to be a weak person."

They lay side by side on the bed with their legs hanging from the edge of the bed, like two kindergarten children who didn't want to take a nap together and chatted freely.But the topic is not light at all.

La Cheng finished telling his previous stories, and Qu Lin also felt that he really didn't have any talent for storytelling, and the past was dry and pale by him, and he didn't know if Luo Xingyi was happy to listen.

So I had to cut some content out of my heart.

The voice was calm, as if he was stating the rationality of the experimental report, and he gave a metaphor: "If the child is never given candy, then the child will not feel that bitterness and bitterness are unacceptable tastes when they grow up. In the same way, if I want to live a restless life like this, it is better to exclude warmth, softness, and happiness from the beginning. If you never get it, you can’t talk about loss, let alone pain.”

So in his childhood, his mother always ruthlessly asked him to come out of the experimental field countless times, not to cry, not to feel pain, and to be the last one to live no matter what happened.

The father, on the other hand, endlessly raised his requirements, wanting him to have the ability to control himself perfectly, but also wanting him to live a sober life, always knowing where he is, what he wants, and how to achieve it.

Because it was so strict that in the eyes of others, even in the eyes of Qu Lin when he was a teenager, his parents didn't love him.

But the fact is just the opposite.

From the beginning to the end, Qu Lin's tone has always been stable, and he did not show any resentment or injustice towards his parents' attitude and decision.Because he now knows that this is the best choice.

If he was held in the palm of his parents since he was a child, he would cry loudly when he fell down, asking for his mother's gentle embrace; if he was in pain, he would cry and suspend the project, let his parents clear away all the obstacles that did not go well, and take care of him tightly under his wings. An ordinary person who cannot bear the pain.Then, he probably died in the detention room six years ago.

Even earlier, dying on the bench.

His life was "brilliant" because of the "sunset", but also full of hardships and dangers because of the "sunset".He is destined to be entangled with "Sunset" to walk on a road, a road that is not easy for most people and unwilling to take.

And no one can help him go.

So he must have enough courage, perseverance, and the indifference of others to himself to move on.

To survive, not just to survive.

"...Then, do you want it? Happiness, happiness, and warmth." Luo Xingyi asked suddenly.

Qu Lin turned his head to the side, only staring at Luo Xingyi, without speaking.

He stared at it for a long time, so long that Luo Xingyi thought that he would not answer, and wanted to change the topic, so he heard Qu Lin say, "Thinking about it."

That's right, Luo Xingyi also realized that his question is really stupid, how can anyone not want happiness?

Not only wanting, but people like Qu Lin who have never had any happiness at all, will only desire happiness more than ordinary people, right?

Suddenly, Luo Xingyi had a strange feeling again.On the one hand, he felt that Qu Lin was much more miserable than himself, at least he still had a very happy life.With the embrace of parents, the company of a lot of friends, and the care of many people, Qu Lin did not.According to the human misery theory, meeting someone who is worse than oneself should be a kind of consolation and luck, and he should be relieved because of this despicableness; , that dastardly ease is almost negligible.

His heart seemed to have fallen into the sea, calm and composed, Luo Xingyi realized - he was feeling sorry for Qu Lin.

Although Qu Lin spoke the same as usual, he was not here to show his sympathy, and he didn't need his sympathy.But Luo Xingyi really felt that he felt very uncomfortable after hearing this.

It's even more uncomfortable than not getting a good result.

"Qu Lin..."

Just as Luo Xingyi was about to say something, he was interrupted by Qu Lin standing up.

He thought that recalling these past events made Qu Lin feel uncomfortable, and was about to leave, so he grabbed Qu Lin's arm in a hurry, and blurted out: "I grew up eating candy!"

Qu Lin paused for a moment as he was about to get up, and then went in without knowing.He propped himself up and lay down next to Luo Xingyi, quietly waited for Luo Xingyi, who was stuck in his words, and reminded him: "Then?"

"Then..." Luo Xingyi didn't even know what he was talking about, "Then, I have a lot of candy, which I can share with you."

Luo Xingyi clearly felt that as soon as he said these words, it was a bit like a car with a brake failure sped out, and the air suddenly became tense.

You shouldn't have a conversation when your mind is in a mess.

He regretted his recklessness, and after a few seconds of silence between the two parties, he tried to say something else to get rid of this stupid sentence.

"...Suddenly Saint..."

"Okay."

The two spoke at the same time.

Luo Xingyi shut up.

He lay on the bed and blinked, "What did you say?"

Qu Lin turned over and propped himself on top of Luo Xingyi. In the faint darkness, he looked at Luo Xingyi for a few seconds, and then smiled like a cloud breaking the moon: "I said yes, yes, thank you."

Luo Xingyi: "No... you're welcome?"

After responding to this, Luo Xingyi's face that hadn't been awkward in 800 years suddenly felt a little embarrassed, this bullshit was exaggerated.What kind of candy, he has just been stabbed twice, and his heart is still leaking, what can he give Qu Lin?

He was a little guilty, and his eyes wandered in several places before looking at Qu Lin.Only after this look did he realize that Qu Lin had been staring at him.

No judging, no probing, no x-ray-like scrutiny.He didn't seem to have any emotions, just watched, and seemed to be tracing with his eyes, because his eyes were very light and soft.

It's different than usual.

In the darkness, those light blue eyes were stained with night, as if hiding Wang Youtan.Flowing moonlight.

Unknowingly, the two of them maintained this posture for a while, but Qu Lin didn't intend to leave. Luo Xingyi's scalp was a little numb from his observation, but he couldn't move or think about anything.Under Qu Lin's gaze, who could think of anything else?

Luo Xingyi had a weird illusion, thinking that if he continued to look at it like this, Qu Lin would kiss him.

But it didn't.

Because Qu Lin suddenly covered his eyes with his hand and lowered his head.

It suppressed the warm woody breath.Luo Xingyi is very familiar with the fragrance of Taoyuan's unique woody-scented shower gel.

It is especially suitable for Qu Lin, just like how he feels.

It's like the dark sea water occasionally churning in summer nights. At first glance, it feels dangerous, but at the second glance, it is guessed to be dark.Then you have to wait until the wind blows, and you can feel it in the wind. If you are buried deep in the water vapor, be careful and gentle.

Luo Xingyi's eyes were covered and he couldn't see anything. He felt a very hot breath coming close to him and stopped.

Then the next second, in the darkness, a soft touch fell on his forehead.

It was a kiss.