[Ghost Lamp] The dark humor of hell

"Master Ghost Lantern, who is this?"

He lifted the little girl who was lying on the ground after drinking Mengpo soup and leaned against the desk, raised her head in a ghostly manner, and was able to let the ghost lamp force him to talk nonsense, it should not be a simple character.

For example, the deadly rival Bai Ze from Taoyuan Township, the Bai Ze who often hangs out in Huajie, and the Bai Ze who always sneaks into Yan Mo Temple to make trouble.

Although the subjects are the same, there are differences among them. According to the few observations of Ghosts and Gods, there were not many opportunities for the two to fight in Taoyuan Township. When they met in Huajie, they mainly used fists and kicks. If you run to Yan Modian, you will be drawn directly to the other side of hell by Master Ghost Lantern with a mace.

Ghost Lantern rubbed her chin, stared at the person leaning against the table, and thought carefully in her mind, she is no longer a bone girl, and drinking Mengpo soup has nothing to do with her name in this life... What was her name before?

Gui Deng found a problem that he had never faced squarely.

"Yes, yes, Lord Ghost Lantern, who is she?"

"Even though he is a dead person, he knows Mr. Ghost Lantern. Could it be that he knew him in this world?"

"Master Ghost Lantern's time was a long time ago. She also said it just now, isn't she the one who confessed her mistake?"

The female prison guards of Zhonghe Hell took advantage of the ghost lamp's contemplation to discuss this issue. If it was sold to the news agency, it must be a good gossip. The title is "Ghost Lamp and Human Acquaintance". Those fools at Maoyou Editorial Agency will definitely be able to break out a touching story.

How could women who love gossip magazines let go of the live gossip in front of them.

"...Hmm...Master Ghost Lantern, did you bring this back from this world on purpose? Don't know her name?"

The leader of the women, Ah Xiang, received gossiping eyes from her colleagues, tilted her head in distress, and asked as a thought flashed through her mind.

"Ah."

"...Then call her Assistant Officer's Madam." Ah Xiang smiled.

Ghost Lantern felt that Ah Xiang's smile instantly turned into that of an old mother watching her son, who had not been married for a long time, take his girlfriend home.

"It's not good for her reputation." Ghost Lamp tried to refuse.

"Then what do Lord Ghost Lantern think should be called?"

Ah Xiang put her hands in front of her body, with a very bright smile, even the ghosts and gods who are known for their gentleness had to admit that they were inferior, that smile was not only gentle, but more threatening.

It has long been heard that Master Ghost Lantern's major life events are due to his own indifference, and his friends have worried about him more than once.Peng Du of Yan Modian gave his treasured figure of ghost soldier and Taoist priest to Ghost Lantern, and asked him to marry the figure, although he was thrown into the brazier with a black face by Master Ghost Lantern.

In fact, Ah Xiang is also very scary...

The ghost poked the fainted little girl's face incessantly, and her cooking skills seemed to have declined recently.

"...Third Son." Ghost Lantern used his tragic naming skills to bring out the name he gave not long ago.

"...It's so pitiful. This child is obviously taller than the first and second sons, but she has to be their younger sister, and she will be rejected. It's like Tsubaki and Azusa have a good relationship, but they are fraternal brothers. Dates are often forgotten."

Ah Xiang sighed sympathetically.

"Although I don't know who she is, Lord Ghost Lantern, please help her think about a name. As a name that will accompany her for a lifetime, it will have an impact on her subsequent job applications and even friendships."

"Then call it Sanzi."

It seems that he didn't hear Ah Xiang's advice, or that he heard it but was not ready to obey. He really thought the name was not bad, it was waterproof, anti-theft and anti-wolf.

The ghost lamp has come to a conclusion, and A Xiang understands that she cannot affect his tragic naming level and a bit strange aesthetics. After saying hello to his colleagues, he nodded and chatted with them and left with a smile.

"Hey, Ah Xiang, in fact, the title of Mrs. Assistant Officer seems to dig out a lot of gossip. It's definitely more shocking than Miki Miki's scandal!"

Colleagues spread their arms exaggeratedly, hoping to signal the astonishing degree of gossip.Ah Xiang just asked a few more questions out of curiosity, and everyone chatted quickly.

She deeply felt the pain of going to gossip magazines.

Regardless of the fright she received when she woke up and found herself lying on the bed of Mr. Ghost Lamp, she didn't think about the huge amount of work that was suddenly entrusted to her. Assistant Officer's Madam", that was enough to worry her for a long time.

"...Well, Lord Ghost Lantern, may I ask what is the current situation?"

Mixed with emotions such as shock, surprise, exclamation, etc., she raised her head and opened her mouth slightly, looking calmly at a small part of the screaming hell.

"The world's trade and economy are integrated, so you who could not be saved before are saved by the hodgepodge of world cultures."

"No, that's not what I'm talking about."

"I have captured all the jailors who yelled for hell. Force suppression has temporarily worked. It's up to you next."

"Suppression by force has no effect on mental damage... No, no, the situation I said is more serious." After thinking about the question of yelling for hell, she suddenly came to her senses and realized that this was not what she wanted to ask.

"Because you drank Mengpo soup before, the ghosts and gods made a low-quality version. The memory of your reincarnation should still remain in your mind, just ignore them."

"I have said so many things, but none of them are about the problem. Didn't you receive it, Mr. Ghost Lantern? The magazine that was stuffed in from under the door when I was cleaning the room yesterday... The wife of the assistant officer is so easy to misunderstand. By name, Master Ghost Lantern, why don't you justify yourself?"

She felt that she was much more relaxed now, and her temper seemed to be much more irritable.Rubbing his temples, he handed "The River of Three Ways" which was the source of the problem in his hand to Ghost Lantern. The latter flipped through it but was not angry, and instead commented appreciatively.

"It was actually published."

Her eyebrows twitched: "Master Ghost Lantern, do you know about this?"

"This is what Ah Xiang called you when she saw you a few days ago, because she didn't know your name. I think this name is actually not bad."

Ghost Lantern flipped through the content, stopped turning the page in the cute pet column, and talked to the other party while watching the hell cat pet: "So, I think the name 'Sanzi' is good, because Zashiki Doji's For some reasons, it has the function of anti-harassment, you can think about it."

"Why are the names I'm considering so weird... Isn't it normal... Ah, Lord Ghost Lantern, please don't turn the page, this cat's hind legs feel delicious."

She leaned forward and jumped up and down a few times. Seeing this, the ghost lamp squatted down and shared the youth magazine in her hand that "published cute cats and pets every day": "Then what was your name before? This one seems to be the cat next to the railway station. The cat at the canteen, you can catch it if you want to eat it."

"..."

She fell into a moment of silence, not sure if it was because she had forgotten her name or she was thinking about the success rate of catching cats to eat.

"The previous name is not important. A person's past has to be chewed and digested like a mouse eaten by a cat." She said pretending to be great.

"You didn't seem to have a digestive organ before." Ghost Lantern pointed out the problem.

"Ahem, although I don't have a digestive organ, I have teeth, so I can still bite twice." She showed her teeth, and suddenly realized that the topic had gone far away, so she quickly pulled it back: "No, no, first Regardless of the issue of the name,... No, let’s look at the issue of the name first, the name 'Madam Assistant Officer' is shameful, awkward and scary."

"Thriller?"

"Yes, I don't know when I will be stabbed in the back by others. The main reason is that this position is too unsettling. My goal is not to be the wife of an assistant officer. It will be no problem to marry someone who looks like M. gone."

She stretched out her index finger, put aside the chaotic screams calling for hell, and began to discuss life issues with the ghost lamp with great interest.

"After you reincarnated, you became talkative."

"The resentment that was suppressed in my heart disappeared, and the posterity became more relaxed after being refreshed."

Ghost Lantern stroked his chin, and turned a page of the magazine in his hand, "I think marriage is not interesting at all if the partner is a very obedient person from the beginning. Only a little resistance can make people aroused."

"Although people who will resist do have a bit of training/teaching value, but after the successful training/teaching and enjoy the sense of accomplishment, the relationship will gradually fade and then divorce, so it is better to find a stable and stable life with a successful training/teaching from the beginning ...Ah, Lord Ghost Lantern, this cat seems to be quite delicious."

Ghost Lantern looked in the direction she pointed, and replied after a moment of silence: "This is Mr. Han from Emperor Song's side. If he eats it, he will break the law. He has relatives in Egypt, so he can go to Egypt to eat cat meat next time.  … Are you hungry? gone?"

The question of food was mentioned twice in a row, and it was clear at a glance what she was talking about.

"Huh? It's okay, the main reason is that I haven't eaten for a very, very long time, so my mouth is a bit greedy."

"Then go to the cafeteria now, I'll pick up something by the way."

Ghost Lantern stood up, closed the magazine, and walked forward.She followed in two or three steps.

"what?"

"Your hell ID card, the name should be Sanzi, it doesn't matter if you fill in the identity as the assistant officer's wife."

"……What?"

"There is also a marriage application form, you just need to sign it later."

Ghost Lamp didn't seem to notice how many hot spots in his words, and still walked forward at a slow speed of [-] centimeters a step.

"...Wait, wait, what's the matter with the marriage application?" She grasped a point that was very important to herself.

"Didn't it mean that the name is not right? Now the name is right."

"...No, no, that's not the problem. What I mean is that this gossip can be clarified and my innocence can be clarified. I don't want to confirm the position of assistant officer's wife. Isn't there a lot of assistant officers?"

She who had just changed her name to Sanzi followed embarrassingly, feeling a little speechless for the other party's weird thinking.

"Then call Yan Modian Assistant Officer's wife."

"The title is too long!! Read the TV a few more times and halfway through the STAFF has to be officially accelerated!! The problem is not this at all, okay!! Master Ghost Lantern, can I refuse the visa?" She finally couldn't help it, Tucao loudly.

"Yes, only those who resist have the value of training/teaching."

"Master Ghost Lantern, why are you like this..."

"Because I was killed by God."

She seemed to find the name a bit familiar.

End of full text>

extra life script

The author has something to say: Don't modify the text easily after being told by a senior, so this guy thought about it, found out the harmonious words and typed it up as soon as possible, and started writing the extra episode.

Fanwai, after thinking about it again, decided to use the author's old job: writing scripts.

The script is a good thing↗.

Hurry up and make up for this brain hole, 222222 words of text, so you are not afraid! [233.Virgo said that the number of words seems to be satisfactory.

I heard that clicks will skyrocket after the end, and favorites will suddenly drop.I don't know whether to be happy or cry =-=.

In short, this article is already black history.

Ask for petting.Scene 1, signing paper——

When: Shortly after receiving the ID card.Location: Yan Modian Hall.Character: Ghost Lamp, a bone girl who was forced to change her name to Sanzi without knowing it.

Third son: Master Ghost Lantern, I request that my ID card be revoked.

Ghost Lantern: (putting down the snapdragon ballpoint pen) Oh?

Third son: The day before yesterday when I went to Zhonghe Hell to communicate, I was surrounded by a group of female jailers and gossiped. When I went to inspect the present world the day before yesterday, I was almost crushed to death by a big tree. Yesterday, I was cursed by Chou Shishen and fell into the pool of blood. This morning, I actually received Senior Mustard Seed A wedding gift from here!

Ghost Lamp: Miss Mustard? ...It looks like it's time for a wedding. Which do you think is better, a Western-style wedding or a Japanese-style wedding?

Sanzi: Although I feel that you are excited, I am sorry that I haven't signed it yet and I plan to sign it.And please help me revoke my ID card.

Ghost Lantern: You can sign slowly, I'm not in a hurry.Sign here, what kind of name do you want?

Third son: The name I want... Let me think about it, I don't know why it sounds familiar to Jasmine Sayuri.

Ghost Lamp: The name dismisses.

Third son: ...Master Ghost Lantern, why do I feel a burst of shade rushing into my back.

Ghost Lantern: (Give her the signed marriage application in duplicate) Recently, something went wrong with the gate of Bahan Hell, and it couldn't be closed tightly, so the cold wind blows over.

Scene 2, name change——

Time: Shortly after being accidentally tricked into signing by a ghost lamp.Location: Calling Hell.Role: Sanzi, ghosts and gods, passer-by jailer.

Third son: Lord Wujian, please help me think of a name.

Ghosts and Gods: (looks up from the file) What's wrong?

Third son: I heard that after changing the name, all identity documents will become invalid, whether it is an ID card or a marriage certificate.

Ghosts and Gods: ...Master Ghost Lantern probably won't stamp your seal for you.

Third son: Whoever wants him to stamp my seal, just go to King Yan Mo, if the king disagrees, throw him into the frying pan for a while.

Ghosts and Gods: It's really wronged to be the king of hell in Japan...it's hard for him.

Third son: (suddenly staring seriously at Ghosts and Gods).

Ghosts and Gods: (looks around, touches his face and looks back suspiciously).

Third son: Master Wu Jian, in order to establish the prestige of King Yan Mo, let us jointly resist the dictatorship of Lord Ghost Lamp.

Ghosts and Gods: Didn't you just want to throw King Yan Mo into the frying pan? ...Besides, I'm not an M, so I don't really want to resist Lord Ghost Lantern.

Third son: He obviously looks like M.

Passer-by jailer: (suddenly opens the door and enters) Lord Wujian, this is the list of the escaped dead.

Ghosts and Gods: I got it back. Recently, Mr. Ghost Lantern has drawn down a batch of iron maidens, and they are worried that there is no place to test the quality of the products.

Three sons:.

Scene 3, honeymoon chapter——

Time: not important.Location: Yan Modian Hall.Roles: Ghost Lantern, Third Son, Axiang who passed by, Zashiki Doji.

Third son: (looks calmly at the ghost lamp).

Ghost Lantern: (looks back blankly).

Sanzi: (Turns his head to look at Zashiki Doji next to him who is biting his finger).

Ghost Lantern: (following her gaze).

A Xiang passing by: (Holding the document to her chest, hesitantly) What are you two doing?

Ghost Lights: Discuss honeymoon locations.

Third son: No, Lord Ghost Lantern, I haven't agreed to go out yet.

Ghost Lantern: King Yan Mo is already on vacation, and there will be about two weeks of vacation in the future. Is there any place Axiang recommends?

Ah Xiang: (smiling distressedly).

Third son: Lord Ghost Lantern, please don't ignore my opinion.I have already made an appointment with my first and second sons to go shopping for clothes in this world recently.

Zashiki Boy:.

Ah Xiang: Master Ghost Lantern, I heard that the fashion center in Paris has recently launched a new line of children's clothing that caters to the trend of the times.

Zashiki Boy:.

Ghost Lantern: (received gaze, nodded).

Zashiki Doji: I'm sorry, Sanzi, Mrs. Yamaguchi's husband next door to our house recently went out. It's not safe for her a pregnant woman to stay at home. Let's stay and take care of her.

Third son: Hey, you live in Yan Modian, right? Who is Mrs. Yamaguchi next door to Yan Modian?

Scene 4, Accommodation——

Time: Shortly after Ms. Mustard ran away because she met Fenfu Chagama who came to Sanzi's house as a guest.Location: In front of the dormitory yelling hell to collapse.Characters: Miss Mustard, Ghost Lamp, Sanzi.

Third son: (holding the folder with his head lowered, calmly) I went to ask the ghost who calls hell, and he said that the dormitory over there is still available.

Ghost Lantern: Ms. Mustard has recently gone to Konmoto Temple to practice for a while, and reflect on this behavior.

Miss Mustard: Lord Ghost Lantern is very sorry...

Ghost Lantern: No, what you need to apologize for is the jailers yelling hell. Personally, this accident has a good result.

Third son: Lord Ghost Lantern, please don't take pleasure in other's misfortunes.

Ghost Lantern: It's time for you to move to Yan Modian.

Third son: Please allow me to solemnly refuse.

Ghost Lantern: This is not a question sentence, you only have one choice.

Third son: ...I can go to Konmoto Temple to practice with Miss Mustard.

Ms. Mustard: (looks at the ghost lamp, then at the third son) Are you two still living together?

Sanzi: (received the impact of the straight ball, holding his chest and taking a step back).

Ghost Lantern: Well... Because of the previous travels, I have accumulated a lot of work, and her personality is also partly due to it.

Miss Mustard: This is not acceptable!Now that you are married, you have to live together well, so that you can feel like a husband and wife.

Sanzi: Jie, Senior Jiezi actually said the same thing... (looks at the ghost lamp with hatred, blushes)...

Scene 5, Steamed Buns——

Time: not important.Location: Saiheyuan.Role: Ghost Lamp, Sanzi.

Third son: Lord Ghost Lantern, I think the little ghost is really a disgusting creature.

Ghost lamp: A reasonable kid can bear it.

Sanzi: The problem is that there are too few such children. Today’s adults don’t know how to educate children. Not only are they disobedient, but they often touch other people’s things.Last time, the kid from Saiheyuan went the wrong way to Daoshan Hell, causing a mess there, and I still have to deal with it in the end...

Ghost Lantern: Then you can educate your children to be obedient and calm.

Third son: But I don't want to have children.

Ghost Lantern: Well... this is indeed a question, are you going to be assigned to Saiheyuan to work for a period of time?I heard that if you stay with children for a long time, you will fall in love with them.

Third son: ...No, no, Lord Ghost Lantern, please let me have a baby... (Enlightenment, step back a few steps away from Ghost Lantern and squat down with head in arms) That's not right!Not this, please ignore what you just said.I mean please let me go on hating kids.Yes, this is it.

Ghost Lantern: Well, I see.

Sanzi: ...Are you sure?

Ghost Lamp: Of course.

Third son: Master Ghost Lantern, I feel that what you understand is not the same thing as what I want you to understand.

Ghost Lantern: No matter what, there is only one result, and the process of understanding is not important.

Third son: (silence, turn back and run).

Scene 6, Family Instruction——

When: I don't know how long it will be.Location: the backyard of Yan Modian.Characters: Sanzi, Ghost Lantern, a little bun that has been out of the oven for a long time.

Sanzi: (looking down at the front)...

Little Baozi: (looks up at the front)...

Third son: The first rule of family instruction.

Little Baozi: When he saw Mr. Bai Ze walking with a woman, he went up to him and called him Daddy.

Third son: ...the second rule of family instruction.

Little Baozi: Seeing Mr. Bai Ze walking alone on the street, he ran up and stomped on his little toe.

Third son: ...the third rule of the family precepts.

Xiao Baozi: Respect women, especially women whose underwear does not match.Treat the mother and adult as a warm baby.

Third son: ...Master Ghost Lantern, how did you educate your son?

Ghost lamp: (stand aside with arms crossed) add one more, see the men who are close to their mothers all go up and step on their toes.

Little Baozi: Does it include your father?

Ghost Lamp: If you can step on it.

Xiao Baozi: (stepping up to lift his foot and wanting to step on it).

Ghost Lantern: (picks up his collar and throws it out).

Third son: Master Ghost Lantern, you actually hate children too.

Ghost Lantern: I think it's good to develop PLAY.

Scene 7, quarrel——

Time: The third time Sanzi was refused entry to Rabbit's social place for the reason of "married person", so he couldn't eat out with Jiazi.Location: at home.Characters: Ghost Lamp, Sanzi.Background: Little buns.

Ghost Lantern: (Picks up the divorce application form) Please describe the reason.

Third son: I have different personalities. As an S, I feel that I have never won once after I married Mr. Ghost Lamp.

Ghost Lantern: (Thinking, looking at the little bun beside him) For example?

Sanzi: I always feel that my S setting will collapse every time I encounter Lord Ghost Lamp.

Ghost Lamp: This is the result of successful tuning/teaching.

Sanzi: I think it's time for me to embark on a journey to make my own setting flourish.

Ghost Lantern: ...Actually, from the moment you get married, you have won.

Little Baozi: (sitting on the side playing snapdragon, looking here from time to time).

Third son: ....

Ghost Lantern: Is there anything else you want to say?

Third son: (takes the divorce application).