sun washed by spring rain

40. (32)

Yan Qianming left, but he didn't forget to leave the card for Zhang Keqian.Zhang Ke took the card without hesitation.Emotionally, it is considered a loss, but the money is also considered to be cleared.

Where are you going next?Zhang Ke didn't know that he was carrying a luggage bag and walked to the train station alone without knowing what to do.

There is never a shortage of mobile crowds in the train station, and people come and go from here every day.

In these crowded crowds, one can almost see all kinds of things in the world.Migrant workers who have earned money from part-time jobs, carrying big bags and small bags with happy faces, clerks who travel with luggage and briefcases on business, a family who plans to relocate to another city, and those who come here with dreams to develop and seek dream young man...

Zhang Ke watched, and gradually became dazed. He had no goal, so he followed the big crowd, walked to the ticket gate, and got behind the long queue.

As the team moves forward, he also moves forward. This city has no more nostalgia for him. He wants to buy a one-way ticket that will not return, and go all the way to tomorrow.

"Hey, sir, where are you going to get the ticket? There are so many people queuing up behind, don't waste time."

A slightly impatient voice interrupted Zhang Ke's fugue.It turned out that it was his turn so soon.

where to?Go home, no home, where to go, don't know...

"Where does the bus with the fastest departure time go? The farther away, the farther the better..."

Since you don't know where to go, let God decide.

The conductor looked Zhang Ke up and down. Although the young man didn't look normal, he didn't seem to be mentally ill either.

"There are still 10 minutes left for the departure. The farthest journey is to City B. There are still hard seats left, okay?" The salesman tapped his fingers on the keyboard quickly and said.

City B... was the city marked on the torn admission notice, and it was the place where he was supposed to go in the first place.

"Okay, I want one."

……

The sound of the green leather train creaking and creaking, Zhang Ke looked out the window, watching the familiar scenes fading away...

The sound of the radio in the train gradually sounded, and after the clear voice of the conductor announced, it was followed by a love song... This song is very familiar to Zhang Ke, it is Ye Linfei's song.

"I want to escape, in this cold dream

Little by little, wandering in my heart

Forget, tired, dull

I was the first to let go, but I lost..."

People were playing cards and chatting to pass the time of the journey. This song was mixed in the noisy voices. No one paid attention, only Zhang Ke listened carefully.

It turns out that the state of mind is different, and the songs that are already familiar will sound different again...

Zhang Ke supported his face with his hands and turned to the window firmly, so that no one would notice that he burst into tears.

------

Looking at the locked door, Yan Qianming knew that Zhang Ke had left...

He still left without waiting for him...

Yan Qianming stood downstairs, slowly leaning his back against the wall.

what does it feel likeShouldn't it be relief?The entanglement between them has been unclear for so many years, and the proper balance has already been broken.

If Zhang Ke hadn't given up on college and hadn't come to him back then... then, what would they be like now?Will there have been different developments and different paths long ago?Could it be... as time goes by, the relationship fades, and they become strangers?

But what is certain is that if Zhang Ke chooses to go to college, then he will definitely have a better life than now...

Zhang Ke's current choice is right.He wants everything to return to normal, to leave himself and have his own life.But what about myself?No one has ever given him a chance to choose...

Everything is indeed back to normal.Yan Qianming works and gets off work every day, two o'clock and one line.The company is gradually being run better and better by him, and his ability is stronger, and he is more and more valued.

Not long after, he and Zhang Keying got married naturally, everything seemed so perfect, a successful career, a happy family, but his heart seemed to be empty...

It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I don't think about it, it's just that when I think about it, I can't stop worrying and hurting.Yan Qianming felt that he was a little crazy. He seemed to be poisoned by a poison called Zhang Ke. This poison slowly penetrated into his body. At first he didn't feel anything, until the person who poisoned him left. Totally toxic.

Life gradually becomes numb and tasteless, no matter how busy and fulfilling it is, it seems like something is missing.

After stopping the car, Yan Qianming was walking on the way home. He had just taken a few steps when he was stopped by something that suddenly bumped into his feet. He subconsciously looked down, and it turned out to be a small leather ball.Yan Qianming picked up the ball, and at some point a child walked up to him and tugged at his trousers.

"Uncle, can you give me the ball back?"

The child's eyes were innocent and cute. Seeing that Yan Qianming was not afraid of strangers, Yan Qianming smiled, bent down and handed the ball back.

"Here, let's play."

"Thank you, Uncle." The child took the ball and smiled even more happily, and ran away with a hop.

Yan Qianming stared at the child's back in a daze.If that child is still there, then, will he also have such a cute and lively child in the near future, and he/she will call him daddy in a soft voice.It is the continuation of his life...

Yan Qianming shook his head vigorously, it's gone, isn't it?There shouldn't be a child between them. He didn't prepare for it, and Zhang Ke also destroyed it. That child can only be regarded as a victim of their chaotic feelings, but he has to admit that he regrets it in his heart. it's sad...

It was a bit cold tonight, when Yan Qianming came out of the bathroom wiping his hair, Zhang Keying was still leaning on the bed and playing computer games with excitement, like a child who hadn't grown up.Yan Qianming leaned over and sat down, suddenly looking serious.

"Ke Ying, let's have a baby."

Zhang Keying didn't look at him, and continued to play the game, thinking he was joking, so he replied casually, "Stop teasing."

"I'm not kidding, let's have a child, I want it." Yes, he suddenly wanted a child to fill the empty space in his heart.

Zhang Keying realized that Yan Qianming was not joking, and sat up, facing him.

"I'm not joking with you, Qianming, I never thought about having a child, I was a child myself, why should I take care of another child, I don't want to become a yellow-faced woman in advance, I still have a lot of youth Waiting for me to enjoy, but with a child, you have to revolve everything around him!"

"What are you talking about? How could we never have children?" Yan Qianming was a little surprised. Although he felt that they were very young now, he was a person with traditional thinking, and the process of getting married and having children was inevitable.

"Why not? It's not very good to be a DINK family. You don't even know how painful it is to have a baby. The pain is tenth level. Do you want me to die of pain? And if you have a caesarean section, it will still be on the stomach Leaving a long scar, how ugly!"

Yan Qianming was a little angry, frowned, and said nothing.

"Qian Ming, don't be angry, don't you think it's too early to say this now? If you really want a child, we can adopt one when we get old, or you can find a surrogate."

"What did you say?!" There seemed to be a broken string in my mind, but something was vaguely connected together.Yan Qianming's eyes widened in disbelief.

Where did you get so much money?

It is not stolen or robbed, you can use it at ease.

What's the matter with your scar?

Not to mention, I suffered a work-related injury.

You have a sporty physique, yet you lied to me! !

"Impossible, impossible, how is it possible!! Impossible!" Yan Qianming roared, his heart beating faster...

"Hey! Qianming, where are you going so late!?" Yan Qianming seemed to be crazy, grabbed his clothes and ran out, Zhang Keying yelled, but couldn't call him.

41. (33)

Yan Qianming's brain got hot, he took off his clothes and ran out of the house.But after he came out, all he could do was wander aimlessly on the street.

He finally realized that he wanted to find that person now, but he couldn't find him at all...

"Zhang Ke... Zhang Ke..." Yan Qianming walked in a daze, unconsciously chanting Zhang Ke's name.This feeling is very familiar... It's like an instinct, which made him say Zhang Ke's name inadvertently more than once.

Maybe this is the miss... It has already existed, but it has never been noticed before...

Yan Qianming walked in such a daze for an unknown how long.He gradually stopped, without thinking in his mind, but his footsteps already had a direction.

He finally stopped here, in that tube building, Zhang Ke's previous residence...

There was no light from the familiar window in the tube building, and there was no trace of that person's existence anymore. Yan Qianming walked up the stairs by the faint light of the street lamp.

He knocked on the door self-defeatingly.Although he knew that there was only empty darkness behind that door, he still couldn't help but imagine that the familiar smiling face would appear behind the door, saying, you're here.

It can be imagined that it is imagination after all. He knocked on the door for a long time, but he still didn't get any response. He didn't stop there, he still knocked hard, and it became harder and louder.

"Zhang Ke! Zhang Ke! Come out! Let's make it clear! You come out and make it clear! Are you lying to me again?! Why are you lying to me again!" Yan Qianming knocked, shouted, excited.He didn't dare to think...he really didn't dare to think, he was afraid that the things presented by the connected information were all true.It was so real that he couldn't bear it.

"Who! Why are you knocking in the middle of the night!"

Suddenly, an extremely impatient voice came from beside my ear.Yan Qianming was stunned, and a glimmer of hope suddenly ignited in his heart, but this hope only existed for a moment, and it was shattered after he saw the person coming.

"Huh? Isn't this Xiao Zhang's friend Xiao Yan? Why are you here?"

Yan Qianming knew the person who appeared suddenly, Zhang Ke's landlord, he lived next door to this house, and was the original owner of this house.

"Do you know? Where did Zhang Ke go?!" Seeing the person coming, Yan Qianming was very disappointed, but it took only a moment for him to react, and he rushed over and grabbed the person's shoulder.

As if he had found a life-saving straw, he asked desperately, afraid that if he missed even a little bit, he would be able to find clues about Zhang Ke.

"Xiao Zhang? He has already left! I don't know where he went, but you are his friend, you don't even know?" The landlord stretched out his hand and slowly pushed Yan Qianming away, and felt the pain of being pressed by Yan Qianming. shoulders, with a look of displeasure.

Hearing this, Yan Qianming staggered back two steps...

That's right... That person wanted to avoid it on purpose... How could anyone know where he went...

The landlord looked up and down a few times and saw that the door was hurried out, and Yan Qianming was devastated.

"Hey, I said, do you know what's going on with Xiao Zhang? I went out for a few days, and when I came back, I heard that something happened to him. Ambulances came in in the middle of the night. Hey, when did the kid No one knows if she is pregnant, but when everyone finds out, it’s still because of a miscarriage.”

"What?! What did you say!? Miscarriage? When?" Yan Qianming was stunned, and he grabbed the landlord's shoulder again.

What miscarriage?How could it be, the child...wasn't he aborted?

"Don't drag me!" The landlord frowned and pushed Yan Qianming away again.

"It happened before he left, and I only found out when I came back... This room was full of blood at that time... He didn't seem to have stayed in the hospital for a few days, and when he came back, he told me that he was leaving. By the way, Didn’t you come the day he left? I saw you run out. Hey, what’s going on with Xiao Zhang? He’s such a nice guy. How did this happen to him? Hey, do you know what happened to him? Who is the father of that child? It's too insignificant."

A few words simply repeated by the landlord pierced Yan Qianming's heart like an awl.

It turned out that that day...that person's complexion was so bad...was so weak because...he just came out of the hospital?No wonder I couldn't contact him in those few days... Then the last contact before...

"No, it won't." Yan Qianming shook his head, his eyes were out of focus.He was cold all over, and everything around him seemed to involve his previous memories, reminding him of everything that happened...

The last contact with Zhang Ke before losing contact... How could he not remember, it was the day of his engagement... It was very late, and he suddenly received a call from Zhang Ke, what did Zhang Ke say?He didn't seem to say anything... No, it's me, I didn't give him a chance to speak at all...

"It seems that you really don't know anything. Hey... Zhang Ke left this behind when he left, and I can't contact him now. Since you are his friend, I will give it to you." After finishing speaking, the landlord returned Turning around and walking into the room, he took out a notebook and handed it to Yan Qianming...

------

Yan Qianming borrowed this room from the landlord.

It is still so empty, but it is full of dust because no one lives there, and it is not as spotless as it was when Zhang Ke was there.

Yan Qianming sat on the ground and carefully cut the tape that sealed half of the book with scissors.

It seems... After graduating from high school, he has never seen Zhang Ke's handwriting again. It is still as flamboyant and messy in his impression. He remembers that he had ridiculed Zhang Ke in high school, and he is not afraid of writing such ugly handwriting. In the college entrance examination, the marking teacher will deduct points from your paper.How did Zhang Ke answer back then?It seems to say, I am used to writing, and I can’t change it...

On x month x, the weather is fine

How long have I been here?Oh, anyway, someone will help remember the date.It seems like it's been a long time... It's so quiet here, it's so quiet that it's scary, and there's no popularity at all.Be patient, be patient and pass.I've been away for so long, Yan Qianming, do you miss me?

……

x month xx, the weather is cloudy

Another baby left today and I don't know why that happened... Dr. Leung said it's anyone's guess what happens to the embryo as it grows.He reassured me that this was not my problem, but even though he signed the contract and only had a healthy child, he still felt a little uncomfortable after the child came and left just like that...

xx month x day, the weather is fine

I have always had a stomachache for the past few days. It must be time. After giving birth to this child, I can leave here. It has been almost a year. I don’t know if Yan Qianming will forget me.

With this money, his difficulties should be solved...

This place is suitable for the elderly, but it is really not a place for normal people to stay...

Yan Qianming flipped through the pages one by one, and his heart had turned into a heartache from the beginning... His heart was twisted hard by these simple words, and these words were enough to confirm his conjecture...

That money, a total of 50 yuan, how could I be so stupid to believe in such nonsense about work-related injuries?that person!How could it be possible to make so much money!This is how the money was earned!His formerly the most despised sporty physique...

That person actually went to surrogate for him...

The number of pages that were taped to the end of that period.Yan Qianming continued to turn back, and the following words expressed a completely different scene...

xx month xx, the weather is rainy

I really never thought that you would come, your father, he probably wouldn't like you.He has his own life, job, partner, and maybe his own children in the future, and he should be terrified of a child born to a man like me.But it doesn't matter, since you are here, I will love you well.

I also have good memories with your other dad. In high school, he said that I handed him basketball, and he taught me homework.How good it was then, carefree.I also seem to have fallen in love with him since that time, but I never dared to say it.

I have never regretted it, he is a good man, he has been pestered by me for so many years, it is difficult for him, and we are really not suitable for being together... Then when you are born, Dad will take you to travel around the world.Ha ha.

……

Patter, some liquid gradually dripped onto the paper, Yan Qianming pressed his head, his expression distorted in an extremely ugly posture.His mouth was wide open, and he seemed to be suppressing it, and he couldn't make any sound. He was breathing violently and twitching, his body seemed to be surrounded by some great pain.It's a pity that there is no mirror in this room, so he can't see his crazy, devil-like appearance.

"Ah...ha, Zhang Ke, ha, Zhang Ke! Are you a fool or a lunatic? Why did you fall in love with me, a bastard! Why!" Yan Qianming opened his mouth wide, and finally made a sound, only crying for a while Laughing for a while, it seems that I am completely immersed in my own world.

"No, no, I'm going to find him, I'm going to find him!" Yan Qianming stood up from the ground, the notebook in his hand was almost crushed by him.

Does he love Zhang Ke?What kind of feelings does he have for Zhang Ke?How to explain this heart-piercing pain, this overwhelming regret?It took him so many years to understand...it wasn't until that person finally chose to give up... since when did it change...everything has changed a long time ago...that worry, that heartache ...It's never been fake.

That person, who has planned to give up since having that child, is so self-aware.But what about him?But all the time, he forcefully made himself unwilling to believe, deceiving himself and others, that's all...

42. (34)

At the edge of the urban area of ​​City B, there is an antique alley paved with stone pavement.This alley belongs to a commercial street, but due to its remote location, there are not many people coming and going.

The alley is very deep, and there is a storefront that has been vacant for a long time in the innermost position. Because it is in the deepest part of the alley, no one operates it, and it has been idle there all the time.

A few months ago, the store, which had been vacant, was suddenly sold out.The door is no longer closed tightly, and people are busy coming in and out every day.Gradually, everyone in this street knew that it was a young man who bought this small shop in a remote location, and also carefully renovated it.

From the beginning of the decoration of the shop to the official opening when the red cloth on the plaque was pulled down, except for the workers, this young man was the only one from beginning to end.On the day of the opening, he set off a string of [-]-fired firecrackers at the door. Looking at the words "Xingfu Xiaoguan" on the plaque, he squatted on the ground and burst into tears.

The young man is both the boss and the cook in this shop, and also serves as the waiter.The food in the store is not expensive, the quantity is also very good, and the most important thing is that it tastes good.Many people go there once, but they can't help but go again for the second time, or the third time... Gradually, the store has more and more repeat customers, and the surrounding area is also lively.

With a certain source of customers, this small shop that was abandoned at the beginning can be regarded as making him alive.

Young people just like to be busy. They can't stop being busy when there are people, and they can't sit still when there is no one.No one had ever seen him sit down and rest, he was always making himself find something to do.It seems that only by keeping yourself busy can you feel fulfilled.

Later, because the dishes were really good, this small shop gained a little bit of fame, and there was no shortage of customers, so the work of playing the role of a triangle by one person was finally too busy.

The shop is so busy, from time to time someone will ask him if he needs to do something, and the young man also thinks about it.Sure enough, it didn't take long for an apprentice to be accepted in the shop.He was a young man who dropped out of school to provide for his younger sister.

The young man's name is Jiang Zheng, he is a real person, he is silly, and he is indeed not a piece of study material.I usually like to follow behind young people's buttocks and call master long and short.The qualifications are a bit stupid, but fortunately, he is hardworking. In less than a year in this store, the kitchen is basically his world.

City B is located in the north, and it has completely entered the cold winter at the end of December.It was only five o'clock in the afternoon, and it was completely dark.

Jiang Zheng pasted the red paper with the name of the recruitment case on the glass of the door, and just after pasting it, he quickly retracted his hands, let out a sigh of relief, and rubbed them non-stop.

"Jiang Zheng? What day is it today? It's only five o'clock and there's almost no one on the street?" The young man came out of the house. His clothes were unzipped and he had been in the house for so long. The temperature outside will be the same as inside, and a gust of cold wind blows in, and I shiver involuntarily.

"Today, I don't know, who wants to go out in this cold weather! Master, it's cold outside, you should go back to the house, or else the cold wind blows, you will have a stomachache again, right?" Jiang Zheng said Wan Wan let out a smirk, but the young man stared at him, and the laughter was suppressed again.

The coffee shop on the opposite side also had very few customers this afternoon. The proprietress just went out for a trip, and she was jogging back with her neck curled up.She was holding a few colorful pictorials in her hand, and her hands were shaking from the cold. At this time, she was calling out the waiter in her shop, and together they were pasting the few pictorials on the glass outside.

"So, it's almost Christmas." The young man smiled and murmured while looking at the Santa Claus on the opposite glass.

Jiang Zheng followed his gaze and looked towards the other side.

"Hey, I thought what kind of day it was. Foreigners celebrate the festival, so I don't know what we have to do. Master, do you want me to buy a few of that thing, and post it on our door."

"Didn't you just say that this festival is not a good one? Also, how come you are only eighteen years old and you are living like you are eighty, and you don't even know that Christmas is coming!" The young man chattered. Mouth.

Jiang Zheng was confused by these words, he rolled his eyes, and couldn't help but keep slandering in his heart.

I don't know, don't you also don't know?Say it like how old you are.

That being said, although the person in front of Jiang Zheng was only in his 20s, he seemed to have a vicissitudes of life than his actual age, both in appearance and in spirit.

"Since there are not many guests today, and the holiday is coming soon, you should leave today and take the elbows from the kitchen."

"Master, you are really a good person!" Jiang Zheng was moved. Although his master was usually a bit unforgiving, he was really good.

"Oh, go buy me a pack of cigarettes before you leave." The young man ignored his last sentence and said again.

"Huh? Master, don't you don't smoke?"

"If I tell you to buy it, you can buy it. How come there are so many farts!" The young man went up and kicked Jiang Zheng. Jiang Zheng was not annoyed, and went to buy cigarettes happily.

It's Christmas again... Time flies so fast... Zhang Ke, you should forget it, you should forget it all.

------

"What did you say? Are you crazy? The company is doing well in city A, why did it move to city B?! How can the market of a small city like city B be compared with city A?" Zhang Keying looked She looked puzzled at the serious and indifferent man in front of her.It's only been more than a year since she got married, and she doesn't understand this man more and more.

Compared with a year ago, this man is more mature and stronger. This year, he worked hard day and night, always wanting to escape her father's wings as soon as possible.

Now, he has finally succeeded and has the ability to make his own decisions.But the first decision he made was so absurd!

"I'm not crazy. I'm not going to move the entire company to City B. This is still the main company. I just want to develop into City B. There's a lot of room there! Besides, you and Dad are here, so it's not very Okay?" Ignoring Zhang Keying's clamor, every word Yan Qianming said was extremely calm, the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, and his tone was so firm when he spoke, it seemed that no one could change the decision he made.

He has completely lost his childishness, and he is no longer the Yan Qianming who was at his mercy.

"What do you mean? If you just go to city B to open a branch, then why do you go there? Do you want us to separate? Things are not that simple, right? Have you changed your mind?" A woman's intuition is always so keen , Yan Qianming has been going wrong since a year ago, since he proposed to have a child. She had thought that the marriage would change, but she didn't expect it to be so soon!

Yan Qianming was silent for a while, neither admitting nor denying it.After he understood his feelings for Zhang Ke, he could no longer face Zhang Keying like before.However, he felt guilty towards Zhang Keying, after all, she didn't do anything wrong.

Zhang Keying took a deep breath through his nose, looked at Yan Qianming, and did not hide the anger in his eyes.

"Yan Qianming, don't even think about it! You always have a world of your own, and you always want to keep me out. Don't forget, we are husband and wife! You know, everything I do is for your own good! Just Like that Zhang Ke, what kind of person you are, you should put yourself in what kind of position. When we were engaged, he didn’t want to come. When he finally saw it, didn’t he still run away in shame?”

"Did you see? What did you see? We got engaged and he came? How come! When!?" Yan Qian's eyes widened sharply. There are too many things that Zhang Ke surprised him with. How many more things are there? He didn't know it yet! !

"Yeah, he's here. I asked you to invite him, but he still pretended not to come. I specially ordered a takeaway and asked him to deliver it to the hotel where we got engaged. I want him to see that you are two people at all. People in the world. How is it? Has he stopped pestering you since then?" Zhang Keying's complacent attitude was obvious, she just couldn't understand Zhang Ke!Yan Qianming would actually call his name when he was sleeping. Before she knew there was Zhang Ke, she always thought that Yan Qianming was calling her!

"Hehe, good! Very good! What did I miss...the day of the engagement...hehe, the day of the engagement...haha." Yan Qianming laughed suddenly, but Zhang Keying's hair was terrified when he heard the laughter.This is a laughter without a trace of joy, every sound is a kind of indescribable depression and pain stuck in the throat.

He deliberately didn't tell him that the date of engagement was brought forward.Unexpectedly, it turned out that he was there at that time, and he saw it... and then?What happened again?Miscarriage... What exactly was Zhang Ke trying to say in that phone call? !

Snapped--!With a bang, under Zhang Keying's astonishment, Yan Qianming's eyes were red, he raised his arm and slapped himself hard.

Zhang Keying froze in place, she was quite frightened by Yan Qianming's move.Yan Qianming looked at her with cold eyes, and left without waiting for her to make any reaction... without looking back...

Zhang Ke, I've been looking for you for too long, please, wait for me!