I'm not the only one in the mountain

That day Gu Donghe couldn't go back to get married in the afternoon, because Xiao Lian started to have a fever after the two returned to their own house to clean up. The illness came quickly, but fortunately it was not serious. He took medicine at six o'clock and fell asleep, and woke up at ten o'clock. The fever has subsided, but the cough is still intermittent, and the whole person is sickly and weak.

Gu Donghe cooked porridge, Xiao Lie was wearing thick panda pajamas, sitting at the dining table and sipping, it looked as round as a ball at first glance, Gu Donghe couldn't help but rubbed his head, and was stared at come over.The corners of Xiao Greed's eyes were still red, and there was a bit of anger in this look, more like coquettishness.

"Is it okay if you don't go back today?"

While eating a bowl of porridge, Gu Donghe glanced at his phone several times, and Xiao Greed obviously noticed it.

"My dad doesn't care about me, Lan Lan...I'll call her later."

"Let the little girl stay up all night waiting, how do you become a brother?"

The sudden reprimand stunned Gu Donghe. He frowned and looked at his phone in embarrassment. There was a message from Lan Lan on it: "Brother, when are you coming back?"

If it is said that the day she is most looking forward to, it is the few days of Chinese New Year. The little girl is too young to be sensible. Knowing that her brother is busy with work, she usually stays at home obediently. Don't look forward to it, I will ask a few more questions carefully.

In previous years, Gu Donghe would go home as soon as possible after the holidays, not for anything else, he would be more at ease if he could guard his sister a little more.

"That……"

"Go back first, I can go there by myself tomorrow."

"You are trying to drive me away."

Gu Donghe smiled and said in an aggrieved tone, Xiao Li didn't want to eat his way, picked up the bowl and walked to the kitchen.

"I'm not driving you away," he turned on the hot water to wash the bowl, the sound of the splashing water mixed with the voice of his voice, which was a little unclear, "It's rare for you to go back, and your sister must be looking forward to it."

"Don't live up to expectations."

While people are still there.

The latter sentence was swallowed by Xiao Greed, the atmosphere is considered good at the moment, why bother to talk about these overly pessimistic things.

Gu Dong and the other side washed the pot, Wen Yan took a deep look at him, and handed him a towel to wipe his hands.

"how about you?"

"I'm not a child, do I still need to be watched 24 hours a day?"

Xiao Greed smiled, although his voice was still a little hoarse, but it did not hinder the teasing while speaking.

"Don't worry," he looked at Gu Donghe, "I'm fine."

Gu Donghe obviously had a shadow, and he didn't believe it.

"Tch," Xiao Greed laughed, and then softened his tone helplessly, "Brother Dong, trust me."

It was the first time he talked to Gu Donghe like this, he was so soft that he didn't realize it, his eyes were clear and soft.

Gu Donghe squeezed his shoulder, wanted to say something but didn't speak.

Xiao Greed had no choice but to use his big move: "Actually, some time ago... I made an appointment with a psychiatrist."

"Really?"

Gu Donghe's reflexive hand exerted force, and the voice of surprise almost changed its tone.This step of Xiao Greed caught him by surprise. He looked into Xiao Greed's eyes, and the excitement and joy in his eyes were not concealed.

"what did the doctor say?"

Xiao Greed gave him a sideways glance: "It's just an appointment, I haven't seen it yet."

After two seconds, he added: "I planned to go and tell you later..."

Gu Donghe moved his fingers, but he didn't know how to express his feelings at the moment. He was happy, so happy.

He took out his whole heart, only asking Xiao Greed to be enough by his side, but Xiao Greed gave him more.

If agreeing to be with him gave him the present, then being willing to go to the doctor gave him the future.

He took Xiao Lian into his arms, hugged him tightly, as if he was about to rub it into his body, he had never felt so full of joy.

"Can you stop acting like I'm pregnant?"

Xiao Greed couldn't laugh or cry, his body was tightly strangled and he couldn't move.In fact, he was also surprised, he guessed that Gu Donghe would be happy, but he didn't expect to be so happy.

"Whatever you are is equally important."

"I'm fine," Xiao Greed choked, and repeated helplessly, "Emotional agitation won't last long, I can adjust myself, and now it's much better than before."

"Brother Dong, I'm not that fragile, trust me."

Of course Gu Donghe knew that Xiao Li was the most tenacious and unyielding person.

He just appreciates and feels distressed.

Appreciate his perseverance after being honed by the wind and frost in hell, and feel sorry for his solitary body when he was tortured in every possible way.

"In fact, in the past two years, I have gradually thought about it, but sometimes, I still feel unwilling." Xiao Lian lay on his shoulders, and said slowly, "I will be unwilling, why me, why I have to endure those... nasty thing."

Feeling that Gu Donghe was getting tighter, Xiao Lian really felt that he would be strangled to death if he continued like this, so he patted him on the back: "Maybe it's because of having you in the future."

"Gu Donghe, I won't hide it from you."

After finally Gu Donghe let go of his hand, Xiao Li grabbed his arm, with a smile in his eyes, as if falling into the entire starry sky.

"I want to die, I want to commit suicide, I want to be free."

"But now I love life even more, and I love you too."

"Maybe I can't completely get rid of those shadows now... But one day, I will give myself, completely, to you."

"That's why I went to the doctor."

"Wait for me, okay?"

Gu Donghe didn't know when Xiao Greed made such a big decision, he looked into his eyes, it was the first time he saw such naked expectation and vague cautiousness.

I am willing to cut off those lingering pasts, and offer a brand new, true self that can accompany you to old age with both hands.

do you want?

want.

Gu Donghe agreed, then Xiao Greed looked at him and smiled, truly shining like a star.The eyes are bent, shining a delicate and warm light, the lips are bright and soft, and they are also curved in the most beautiful arc.

He was smashed and pieced together, but still clear and transparent.

How can there be such a person?Walking through the quagmire of sin, it is still spotless and clean.

"Go back, don't make my sister wait too long."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow." Gu Donghe said firmly, "Don't say no."

"Okay, okay, let's go." After solving the problem, Xiao Greed couldn't stand it anymore, let alone his protective behavior, so he said perfunctory.

Gu Donghe changed his clothes, and before he left, he fished him over and kissed him again and again to catch his breath, and in the end he was almost kicked out of the door by Xiao Greed.

"Go away!"

The door was slammed shut behind the back, Gu Donghe walked into the elevator laughing, and couldn't restrain the joy in his heart until he drove out of the community, the corners of his eyes and brows were full of joy.

When Gu Donghe came back to pick up Xiao Greed the next day, it was still dark and he was still lying on the bed. He walked to the bed and put Xiao Greed's exposed arm into the quilt.

"Um……"

Xiao Greed hummed twice in his sleep, turned over, lay on Gu Donghe's side and buried his head under the quilt.

Seeing this, Gu Donghe hurriedly pulled off his quilt as well, he remembered clearly the time when this man smothered himself in the quilt before.But his behavior seemed to make Xiao Greed uncomfortable, and he frowned and buried it down.Gu Donghe was afraid that he would sleep uncomfortably if he continued like this, so he stretched out his hand to support his head. Xiao Li was a light sleeper, but this time he was awakened directly. He twisted a few times reluctantly, opened his eyes, and grabbed Gu Donghe Dong He's hand, Gu Donghe took advantage of the situation to wrap his entire palm in his palm.

"...Why did you come here?"

He took a look at the mobile phone beside the bed, it was still early, he muttered a few words in a daze, and when he closed his eyes and tilted his head, he was about to fall asleep again.

Gu Donghe tucked the quilt up for him, and leaned down: "Come here if you have nothing to do, sleep a little longer, and I will accompany you."

After speaking, he took off his coat and lay down on the other side, Xiao Lian felt the heat source, and leaned against him,

Although Gu Donghe was lying down, he couldn't fall asleep. He turned his head sideways to look at Xiao Li's sleeping face. The shimmering sky was shrouded in a warm color, his forehead hair hung down his cheeks softly, and his lips were slightly parted, a little dry. The skin is peeled, the skin is so delicate that no pores can be seen, and it also looks paler, and the dark blue under the eyes is more obvious and dazzling.

"Look at what?"

Unexpectedly, Xiao Greed didn't fall asleep again, Gu Donghe was caught, but he didn't hide it, but said confidently, "Why didn't you sleep?"

Xiao Greed didn't open his eyes, and could feel Gu Donghe's scorching gaze even with his eyes closed. He thought he had something to say, but he didn't open his mouth after waiting for a long time, so he had to ask first.

"When you wake up, you can't sleep."

"What time did you go to bed last night? The circles under your eyes are black."

"I don't remember, I didn't fall asleep."

Xiao Lian turned over to avoid the gradually brightening sunlight, with one hand wrapped around his waist from behind, his warm breath blowing on the back of his neck, the two of them lay like this.

Gu Donghe: "Lanlan was drowsy when I went back last night, but she was still waiting for me. Fortunately, I... went back."

Xiao Greed gave a "hmm" and put his hands beside her: "Be with her more, she is your own sister after all."

"When my mother gave birth to her, her health was already very bad. When she passed away, there was no funeral. My father only arranged for her that day and then left it alone." Gu Donghe's voice seemed to flow slowly. The river is smooth and wide. "It didn't rain that day, and the sun was very bright. Even the world didn't mourn her departure."

"It's raining at the funeral, it's a scene from TV dramas." Xiao Li pressed his hand on his, "You don't need to get angry because of this."

"I know, but I'm always unwilling." Gu Donghe continued, "She is a victim, and my father didn't want this kind of thing to happen. It's just that he treated my mother too much, but I can't say he was wrong. .”

"I once quarreled with him once, and I accused him of not being able to treat my mother like this. He said that of course he didn't want such a thing to happen, but the tragedy has already happened, and I don't know how negative it will be for him if it spreads. Influence." Gu Donghe smiled disdainfully, "He is going to be the mayor, how dare he let this kind of thing get out."

Xiao Greed was silent for a long time: "He chose his career among your mother and his career. But from a certain point of view, he just made his own choice. We can't stop others from making choices, and we can't let others choose. We also care about it." It is helpless, but it is also true. This is a very cruel thing, that is, what you value is actually worthless in the eyes of others. "

Gu Donghe's breathing became a little heavier, and he let out a long breath.

"Yes, I understand."

In fact, the truth is very clear, all behaviors have their cause and effect to be found, and this cause and effect is a person's choice.Maybe it is not necessarily moral, but what is the absolute role of morality?It can only trap those who obey it.

There is no absolute unity in choosing a career and abandoning a wife, or choosing a defiled wife and abandoning a smooth official career, so there is no absolute right or wrong.

This society is so compelling.

Shapes people, and thus shapes people's choices.

In the eyes of some people, life is not as important as future.But what can you do?You can't change the will of others, you can't stop tragedy.

How powerless, but must face.

"I used to hate my mother too," Xiao Lian emptied his mind, this is his favorite way of self-relieving, he murmured, "I don't know how many years I hated, I hate her for throwing me there Such a place, hate her for giving me endless harm, hate her for torturing me and giving me love."

"Then do you still hate it?"

"This is a very complicated issue," Xiao Greed said, "I admit that I can't let it go, but at the same time I know that it's useless to hate her, and it's also useless to think about it."

"For some unchangeable things, it is worthwhile to hinder the current progress?

"At first I was paranoid, extreme, and hated the world, and even thought about it. I thought about it for many years, what should I do, what should I do. But then I stopped thinking about it, because there is no answer, no If you keep going, you will never know the future, and no matter how much you think about it, it will be nothingness."

Gu Donghe asked: "How did you figure it out?"

"Look at a lot of things, read a lot of people's thinking and opinions, and then think about what is useful to me." Xiao Lie tapped his head lightly, "There are many people who suffer, and my little point is never a big deal. is one of them.

"I survived those days with great difficulty, why should I still fall there, this is the second.

"Life is called your own life only if you live it according to your own ideas. No matter whether you succeed or not, you always have to struggle. This is the third."

Gu Donghe listened calmly: "It's very interesting to absorb and digest."

"Yes, not to find the meaning of life from other people's thoughts, but to use other people's methods to try to find the answer you want."

Then he seemed to laugh at what he said: "It sounds like chicken soup for the soul, the kind that looks good but doesn't work."

Gu Donghe said: "Chicken soup is just chicken soup. In fact, chicken soup is right. What's wrong is that nowadays people call it chicken soup no matter what. Besides, what you said was only about your own situation, and you didn't put it in the position of instilling it in everyone. "

"Then it's not called chicken soup, it's almost called brainwashing."

"Whatever, if idiots don't understand, then there's no need to let them understand."

"Can't you see that you are so hostile?" Xiao Greed was surprised.

Gu Donghe let out a "hum" and did not speak.

For the two of them, Xiao Greed couldn't lie down first, he kicked Gu Donghe in an attempt to wake the CEO out of bed: "I'm hungry."

Gu Donghe sighed, got up resignedly, the two packed up, changed their clothes, and drove out.

After eating breakfast in a shop outside, he went directly to Gu Donghe's house. Watching the car drive into a neighborhood that was obviously not affordable for ordinary people, Xiao Li propped his head up with interest, and turned his head to talk to Gu Donghe. .

"It seems that Mayor Gu is quite unrestrained?"