I'm not the only one in the mountain

"Xiao Greed..."

Gu Donghe hesitated to speak.

There was a smile on Xiao Greed's face that he had never seen before, and he pulled the corners of his mouth forcibly, stiff but resolute, and his hand was holding the doorknob tightly.

The door opened.

Xiao Greed stood at the door, there was a slight ups and downs in the room, and the furniture was covered with dust.

He took a deep breath, took a step forward, his body trembling a little, at this moment, a hand patted on his shoulder, he turned his head and met Gu Donghe's eyes.

I am here.

Although Gu Donghe didn't speak, Xiao Lian's beating heart stabilized a little after receiving his signal.

"This is the... home I used to live in."

He spoke with difficulty, his throat was tight and his voice was a little hoarse.

Taking another step forward, the familiar scene came into his eyes, and the memory came flooding in. He felt that his breathing was getting heavier and heavier, his chest seemed to be blocked, and he couldn't breathe in or out.

He saw the belt waving on him, the ashtray thrown against the wall, the vase smashed into pieces, the furious woman, the man with drooping eyes, and the man curled up in the corner. Own.

His temples were throbbing with pain, and he held his forehead, trying to cover his ears to avoid non-existent voices.

He staggered a few steps forward, but crashed headfirst into a warm embrace, the faint sandalwood lingered around his side, his arms tightened, and a warm and deep voice sounded beside his ears: "I am here."

He raised his head, his face was as pale as paper, his lips were bloodless, and his forehead was dripping with sweat.

Fear was written in his eyes.

"Not afraid."

He grabbed Gu Donghe's sleeve, clenched his teeth, and breathed heavily, like a dying fish.

"I'm not...I'm not, I'm not...not..."

He babbled indiscriminately, but Gu Donghe repeated in his ear while hugging him: "Xiao Greed, look at me."

"I'm not crazy, I'm not perverted!"

Xiao Greed raised his head abruptly, Gu Donghe kissed him on the forehead: "You are not, you are fine."

The four eyes met, Gu Donghe's eyes were steady and calm, he looked at Xiao Greed, seeing all the uneasiness in his eyes.

Xiao Greed gradually calmed down a little, and gently broke away from him, but still grabbed his sleeve and walked inside.

"This is my room, and that's hers."

His voice was a little weak. Although the memory didn't let him sink in completely, it also greatly consumed his energy. His legs were a little weak, and he walked very slowly step by step.

The door of the bedroom opened, and it didn't look like an ordinary boy's room. A bed, an empty desk and a wardrobe were all there was.

All are white.

snow white.

Gu Donghe clenched his fists invisibly, the environment made people feel very uncomfortable, but he had checked Song Lan's information, this woman - Xiao Greed's mother was not mentally normal either, maybe it was because she was abnormal It is hard to imagine how Xiao Greed survived in such an environment.

Xiao Greed walked in and looked around.His eyes changed, and he looked like a piece of stagnant water. I don't know if it was an illusion. His waist was slightly tight, and his shoulders slumped. He walked to the bed, leaned against the wall and squatted down slowly, his arms hugged his legs tightly, his head buried between the arms.

Gu Donghe's heart was stabbed like a needle, and his eyes were red unconsciously. He walked up to Xiao Li and squatted down, asking cautiously.

"what happened?"

Xiao Greed raised his head, but there was no light in his eyes.

"hug me."

Gu Donghe hugged him tightly without hesitation.

In the quiet room, they could clearly hear their own heartbeats, Xiao Lian took a deep breath, his whole body was hugged tightly, his heart and eyes were full of this person.

When he first entered the room, he had the feeling that he had returned to many years ago. Whenever he was beaten and scolded, he would squat in this position, stay motionless and think of nothing for a whole night. There was no reason, and he himself didn't know why.

But it made him feel safe.

After dawn, I can still face everyone with a smile.

It's like the protective umbrella that Xiao Lian gave himself, even though his heart has long been numb to the point of losing consciousness under this.

The strange thing is that when Gu Donghe hugged him, he suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable.

It was as if he was finally feeling the pain covered with scars all over his body, and the uncomfortable feeling poured out from his heart like a gate opened, and buried him like an overwhelming mountain.

He buried his head in Gu Donghe's shoulder, his body trembling slightly.

It turned out to be so uncomfortable, how did I endure it?

Unstoppable emotions surged out, more real and painful than the last time on the island.

It's like the pain of an eagle's wings being broken.

When he finally felt that he had something to rely on and was finally safe, he let out those old feelings recklessly, like puncturing a pustules, and the pus flowed out.

Only when the blood stasis dissipates can the wound heal quickly.

Neither of them said a word, Xiao Li clenched his teeth in pain, grievance, anger, and hatred welled up in his heart at this moment.

He was wronged, wronged too much.

He was obviously a high-spirited young man, but why did he suffer double humiliation from his home school? His pride and self-esteem were trampled into the mud, making him almost forget that he still had these two things.

But Gu Donghe reminded him.

This person gave him a solid arm, like a ray of light, tearing apart the dark space and leading him out.

Let his repressed youthful nature be released, and the emotions he lost during that time were not left behind in the vast world after all.

"Gu Donghe..."

"I'm here."

He greedily sniffed the smell of the man, felt his temperature, his cold emotion was revived, and he sniffed.

"I really don't know how I got here. Now that I think about it, I really can't bear it," he said softly, as if he was afraid of disturbing something, "It turned out to be so uncomfortable."

Gu Donghe's heart ached so badly, they hugged each other, but neither of them let go.

"You are so nice, can you not go?"

Gu Dong responded to him, "Then you have to rely on me more, so I don't dare to leave."

Xiao Greed cried, crying loudly without warning, crying hoarsely.

I feel so uncomfortable, Gu Donghe, I feel so uncomfortable.

They give me a hard time.

Why did she put all the pain on me?

I want to ask for help, I also want to cry.

She said I was guilty, but I didn't understand.

She forced me to go to treatment, I don't want to, I don't want to go.

Can suicide be relieved?

Can you?

What do you want?

What should I do?

Who can save me?

help me.

He cried until his tears wet Gu Donghe's shirt, the man patted his back to comfort him, he was tired from crying, his eye circles were red, and his nose was also red.

But physically relaxed.

It's never been so easy.

The stagnation in the chest dissipated in one breath, like a hero in a martial arts novel, who lost his dead meridians and the shackles of rebirth.

He closed his eyes, the feeling of being dredged was so good that he could hardly believe it.

Like... Ascension?

He couldn't help laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Gu Donghe was a little surprised, looked at him from a distance, and spoke softly.

Xiao Greed's eyelashes were drooping, wet, and the outline of his eyes was quite thick and colorful, filled with a smile, a bit sad, a bit relieved.

Looking at it, Gu Donghe felt like he was about to get drunk.

How can it be so attractive?

"What's wrong baby?"

He kissed Xiao Greed's eyes, and now the two of them could no longer do this naturally, so Xiao Greed obediently closed his eyes.

"It feels alive."

The boy who had been buried under the shock and humiliation came to life.

With scars all over his body, he was finally no longer unable to face it.

"I thought of a song," Xiao Greed put down his hand and said.

Gu Donghe looked at him.

"Mika Nakajima, I thought about it once." He smiled and hummed softly.

Once I also thought about it, because there was nothing in my heart. *

Gu Donghe had never heard this song before, but the title of the song was so straightforward, he just felt that there were ten thousand ants gnawing at his heart, which made him uncomfortable.

"It is said that the year this song came out, the suicide rate in Japan plummeted," he hummed for a while. "I listened to it many times, and I listened to it repeatedly. Only when I listened to that song, did my heart ache."

"Actually, this song is very positive. Although it sounds uncomfortable, it makes people live."

"That kind of struggle, the desire to live, is suffering and painful, but there is hope. If you haven't experienced it, you won't know it, but if you experience it, you will be very obsessed."

"That's the only voice in the dark, I can't hear the whole world, but I hear this song."

"Live hard, live hard."

"Hold on a little longer."

Once I also thought about it, because I haven't met you yet. *

Because someone like you was born, I feel a little better about the world. *

Xiao Greed raised his head and smiled: "Gu Donghe, I've been waiting."

Waiting for the light in life, waiting for the reason to live.

You are all my love for this world.

"Then you should love me more." Gu Donghe covered his face with his hands, and wiped away the tears on his face with his thumb.

"Then Mr. Gu, how should I love you?"

"Love yourself too," Gu Donghe replied, "Just love me."

You are my whole world too.

Xiao Greed raised his arm to wipe his face, stood up with his support against the wall, his legs were numb, he hissed, and Gu Donghe picked him up by the waist without saying a word.

Brother Xiao, who has been teasing countless people for thousands of years, was very shy at this time, buried his head on his shoulder and refused to lift it up.

They hugged him all the way out the door, put them down in the car, the two sat in the back seat, Gu Donghe rubbed Xiao Lian's legs for him.

"Actually, I brought you here today because this is the last place."

"Where?"

"The last... I can't face it." Xiao Greed looked at him straight, and said, "I will slowly tell you about the past, and that is what you should know."

"If it's really uncomfortable..."

"No," Xiao Greed knew that he felt sorry for him, so he cut off the voice neatly, "If you want to say it, you have the right to know."

"Because I want to spend my whole life with you."

Gu Donghe had a sore nose and coughed a few times to cover it up.

"I've lived here for more than ten years... It's been most of my life so far, and it's also the most uncomfortable day that I will never forget. I don't want to keep it buried. It's like a time bomb. We can't feel at ease."

Gu Donghe gave a meal.

It turned out that he had always known, always been very clear.

Although he has relaxed a lot since the talk in the hospital, he is still more or less afraid of the past that he doesn't know clearly, and Xiao Li refuses to talk about it, but he just dares not mention it to take care of Xiao Li's emotions.

"I will tell you all about the past, give you an explanation, and give me a relief."

As I said, I will send myself, a complete, brand-new, real self that can accompany you to your old self, and send it to you.

I'm going to do it.

I can do it.

Xiao Greed spoke very seriously, and Gu Donghe felt sore when he heard it.

Xiao Greed said, you did not wait in vain.

Gu Donghe thought, how long the wait is worth it.

The author has something to say

*Part of it is from "I once thought about it too", the great song w feeling is based on real feelings, if there is any similarity, let's be brothers

The final problem is solved, except for the plot, it will be sugar, probably [whispering bb]