every breath

The early summer wind blows gently.

When the train drove out of the tunnel, Zhuang Yu saw the endless clear sky in the south.The fields are lush with greenery, and by the criss-crossing rivers and streams, there are always a few stooped women bending over to carry water, and bursts of cooking smoke rise from the bungalows in the distance, as if reminding him that it is the end of the day.

The line of sight is always blocked by distant mountains and hills, and the horizon cannot be seen at a glance.

He felt novelty about such rural scenery, but at the same time he felt uneasy.

Taking out his mobile phone, he swiped to the column of contacts, and Qin Xuanyang's number was listed there - this number he found out from the girls in Class [-] of Shang Ying after the graduation ceremony the day before yesterday.

But two days passed, and he kept staring at the number, but he still didn't have the courage to call it.

It was already dark when the train finally pulled into the station.He got out of the car following the flow of people, walked through the underground passage, and left the bustling waiting hall. He looked up at the night sky in the south, and there was only a lonely full moon on the tall buildings in the distance.

This is a city completely unfamiliar to him. People passing by him speak words he cannot understand, and the streets and traffic continue to stretch in front of him.He never thought that one day he would come here alone and push himself into such a situation.

He took a deep breath, and finally gathered enough courage to press the number.

The bell rang for a while before it was connected, and the other party's reaction was also very strange, as if he knew who he was, because there was no word from the other end, as if he didn't know what to say, so he let the silence spread.

Zhuang Yu paused for a moment before slowly saying, "I'm Zhuang Yu, and I'm at the train station now."

There is still no reply.

Zhuang Yu looked at the neon lights on the skyscrapers in front of him, feeling extremely restless and agitated: "Come out and meet up if you have time, if you don't have time, forget it."

He waited, waiting for the other party to say the words of rejection.He even imagined how Qin Xuanyang would reject him: "Didn't I say that we don't need to contact again? It seems that there is no need to meet."

On the way here, he had been rehearsing various situations in his mind, and the scene of Qin Xuanyang's refusal to meet was what he thought about the most.He thought that if this worst-case scenario really happened, then he could only turn around and get on the return train.

There is no way.He also didn't know the address of Qin Xuan's Yang family, even if he knew, he had the cheek to look for it, and he didn't know what to say to him.

Besides, he didn't know what identity he should appear in.

All in all, everything is messed up.

Going south was also his impulse, and he regretted it countless times on the train, but when the train stopped, he gradually calmed down.

Now, during the few seconds of waiting for the other party's response, he became uneasy again.

Finally, Qin Xuanyang's voice came over after a long absence:

"Wait, I'll go over."

After hanging up the phone, Zhuang Yu knelt down and hugged himself in the night wind.

Hearing that person's voice again after such a long time, he actually wanted to cry a little.

Zhuang Yu was waiting on the square in front of the train station. From a distance, he saw a man in a light-colored shirt approaching him across the crowd.

Qin Xuanyang remained unchanged, but became thinner and paler.A girl in her early twenties followed him, holding his arm.

They walked up to Zhuang Yu together, and his first words were: "This is my girlfriend, Xu Ying."

The girl smiled at Zhuang Yu: "I heard Xuan Yang said that you are college classmates, did you come here specially to play?"

Zhuang Yu controlled his emotions well, did not show any surprise, and responded lightly, "Yes."

"How long are you going to stay?"

"It depends." After he finished speaking, he glanced at Qin Xuanyang.There was no expression on the man's face, and it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

"Have you eaten yet?" Xu Ying asked again.

He shook his head: "Not hungry."

"That's not okay, you have to eat if you're not hungry. It just so happens that you can have supper at this time. There's a restaurant here that serves very good night tea. I'll take you to try it." Xu Ying acted warmly and generously, on the contrary Qin Xuanyang on the side, except for the opening sentence, has never spoken again, and his eyes are always erratic.

Zhuang Yu took another look at Qin Xuanyang who seemed to be very interested in the street lights.Nodding his head, he accepted the supper suggestion.

The night tea business in the restaurant starts after nine o'clock. Friends or family members sit around the table lively, making a pot of jasmine tea or honeysuckle tea and drinking comfortably.The waiters came over pushing a trolley full of all kinds of dim sum, allowing customers to choose the style they like.

Cantonese-style dim sum is very delicate, and each small cage contains a small number of refreshments with attractive aromas.Xu Ying took a portion of everything, such as chicken feet, shrimp dumplings, and pink fruits, all of which were exquisite and exquisite.

Zhuang Yu was indeed not hungry, but the snack tasted very good to his appetite, he ate slowly and ate a lot.Xu Ying also ate with him, and the two of them chatted and ate, which seemed quite cordial.Only Qin Xuanyang kept silent, didn't eat much, and basically didn't speak, looking very tired.

Sometimes Zhuang Yu felt that he was looking at him, but when he looked up, he could only see his side face away from him.

This person's mind is so elusive.

It was already late after dinner, so Xu Ying took him to a nearby hotel to check in.It was not until he walked into the hotel elevator with his backpack that Qin Xuanyang said the second and last sentence of the night to him.

"Good night."

Then the elevator door closed, Zhuang Yu could only see his lonely appearance in the reflection on the door.

Zhuang Yu was a little confused about the bed, and couldn't sleep well in a strange place.The next day he woke up very early, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling for a while, before getting up to brush his teeth and wash his face.

At about eleven o'clock, he went down to the hotel lobby and saw Xu Ying who was already waiting in the lobby.

Qin Xuanyang is not here.

Xu Ying explained that Qin Xuanyang didn't have time to accompany him today because of important matters, so she specially asked her to come over as a tour guide to accompany him for a walk around the city.

Zhuang Yu did not show any disappointment, and cooperated with her to the more worthwhile scenic spots in the city, visited the magnificent Catholic Church, climbed up the famous TV tower, and enjoyed the beautiful night view of the river.A full day's schedule, neither too tired nor particularly free.

When night fell, Zhuang Yu sat on a boat on the river, watching the brilliant lights on both sides of the river constantly changing colors, and the streamer reflected on the river, as if he was in an illusion.Xu Ying happily explained to him pointing to the buildings on the shore, just like a competent tour guide.

Zhuang Yu listened, but didn't really listen.

When the cruise ship was about to return to the shore, he suddenly asked a question that had nothing to do with the scenery just now: "When did you and Qin Xuanyang get together?"

"Us?" Xu Ying scratched her head, her tongue was a little knotted, "I, our two families are neighbors, and we grew up together since we were young. It seems that unconsciously, naturally, it became like this."

Zhuang Yu looked at the shore that was getting closer, and asked again: "How is Qin Xuanyang?"

"Didn't you see him yesterday? He's fine."

"Yes." He smiled.

After a while, the cruise ship finally docked. The tourists sitting in front got up and started to walk towards the shore. Zhuang Yu was the last one. When he stepped ashore, he glanced at the lights on the other side. Beautiful and strange.

"Xu Ying." Zhuang Yu said to Xu Ying, who was walking ahead, as the crowd walked ashore, "I'll go back tomorrow."

"So soon? Don't you stay for a few more days?" Xu Ying felt sorry, "There are still many places worth visiting."

"No. There is still something to do at home. I'll leave tomorrow." There was no room for negotiation, and a stubborn heart was hidden under his gentle face.

Throwing away all the unnecessary melancholy, he stepped away from that radiant river bank.

His luggage is only a backpack, basically nothing to pack.Throw a few clothes in and you're done.Last night by the river, he had already told Xu Ying that he would take the [-]:[-] noon train back. Anyway, the hotel was close to the station, so he could take care of everything by himself, so there was no need to bother her to come and see him off.

At eleven o'clock, he was checking whether the items in the backpack had fallen.There was a knock on the door.

He thought it was Xu Ying who insisted on coming to see him off, and opened the door, only to see Qin Xuanyang.

He was a little surprised: "Why are you here?"

"Xu Ying said you are leaving today." Qin Xuanyang looked into the room and saw the backpack on the bed at a glance.

Zhuang Yu was very afraid that he would say those hypocritical polite words next, why didn't he stay for a few more days before leaving, why didn't he come over and play for a few more days.He was very afraid that Qin Xuanyang would say such extraordinarily special words, so that he would feel that the distance and gap between them had reached an insurmountable level.

What is more terrifying than strangers is politeness.

Fortunately, Qin Xuanyang simply asked, "Have you bought the ticket yet?"

"Just go to the train station and buy it later." Seeing that he didn't intend to come in and sit for a while, Zhuang Yu left the door open and leaned on the door frame, looking at him seemingly casually.

"How did you play with Xu Ying yesterday?"

"Very good. She is a very nice girl." Zhuang Yu said from the bottom of her heart.

Qin Xuanyang nodded.

After a moment of silence, Zhuang Yu added: "Treasure well."

This time he didn't nod, just a simple "huh".

The lights in the corridor were very dim, and Qin Xuanyang's face looked even more expressionless under the dim light.Even if Zhuang Yu tried to read something from his face, it was in vain.

After a while, Zhuang Yu said slowly: "You have changed a lot, and you don't like talking anymore."

Obviously last summer, he was still a lively and active person who looked like an ADHD patient, and he was still a person who whispered everything in his ear extremely loudly last summer.In the blink of an eye, he was so taciturn and so reticent that he refused to say another word to him.

"People change." Qin Xuanyang said.

"Yes, people will change." Slowly repeating that sentence, Zhuang Yu began to feel a little bitter in his heart.He smiled weakly: "Anyway, take care."

Qin Xuanyang nodded: "You too."

He suppressed the turbulent emotions in his heart, and looked at him with a smile in a calm and ordinary tone: "Qin Xuanyang, you want to live a long life."

Then she reached out and hugged him.

In the short period of three months of "communication", they kissed jokingly, and held hands inadvertently when they were rushing on the road, but they never hugged.

For them, hugging is actually a more ambiguous action than direct skin contact: put their cheeks on each other's chest, listen to each other's heartbeat through a thin shirt, and feel each other's body temperature.

Many unspoken feelings seem to be revealed at that moment.

The same was true for Zhuang Yu at that time. The moment he stretched out his arms to hug Qin Xuanyang, he suddenly wanted to tear off all disguises: no matter how sick he was, whether he already had a girlfriend, whether he could Get an affirmative answer.He hoped so eagerly, hoping that he could ask willfully:

Let's keep the game going, shall we?

Because I seem to like you.

"Qin Xuanyang." Zhuang Yu plucked up the courage to look up into his eyes, and heard his heart beating a little fast from a very close distance, "Can we—"

"There is almost no time." Qin Xuanyang interrupted him suddenly, and pushed him away calmly, "If you don't leave, you will miss the train."

He froze for a moment, trying to find a trace of emotion from Qin Xuanyang's face, but in vain.

Is this person genuinely indifferent to him, or is he just faking it?

His acting is really good, if only pretending.

"Xu Ying asked me to tell you that I will come to play often when I have free time." As if thinking that Zhuang Yu's heart wasn't cold enough, Qin Xuanyang added this sentence.

He couldn't answer politely but enthusiastically: "Okay."

Unable to even nod his head, he sighed disheartenedly, and suddenly smiled bitterly: "I'm afraid I won't come again in the future. I hope you are happy."

Qin Xuanyang didn't answer immediately, but reached out and patted his head: "Zhuang Yu, eat well, work hard, and live well."

Live well.

Zhuang Yu nodded, looked at him tiredly and sadly: "You too, you want to live a long life."

Qin Xuanyang, you want to live a long life.

To be healthy, get married and have children.For a long time, be happy.

When the train going north was slowly moving, Zhuang Yu watched the tall buildings in the distance slowly being left behind, and when the empty and silent fields began to appear in front of him, he knew that there was something in his heart that would stay in this area forever. land.

On this trip to the south, he didn't want to question anything, nor did he want to ask for anything.He has neither the qualifications nor the position.

He just wanted to see Qin Xuanyang with his own eyes.I just want to see with my own eyes if he is good or not.

If the other party didn't mention anything, he naturally wouldn't say anything.

He would pretend that he didn't know anything, that he was just passing by occasionally, that he didn't take that game seriously at all.

If that's what Qin Xuanyang wants, then he will get what he wants.

On this trip to the south, his only wish was fulfilled: that is to take a look at Qin Xuanyang again, and tell him that he cherishes it personally.

He has no other extravagant wishes except to say "precious".

After all, even if he had extravagant desires, there was no place for him beside that person.